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purplesmurfs

:: 2003 17 November :: 7.38pm

Hate for you
11.17.03

You can shove it in your ass
Because I dont want to hear your lies
The ones you told me on that night
That made me fall for you
You sicken me to death
Never want to hear from you again
Or see your nasty face
You caused me pain
And now I suffer
Dont know how to cope
With all this shit
That was thrown my way
Hope you trip and fall
Break your neck
And suffer a slow death
I hate your fucking guts

*ride my star*

fadingfallenstar

:: 2003 17 November :: 5.39pm
:: Music: Taking Back Sunday-Ghost Man on Third

ruby ruby ruby ruby so ho
fuck off. if you dont like me, dont talk to me. that easy.

anyways.

my feelings are scattered everywhere...and im not even sure what they are for different people. *sigh

why waste my time...

*ride my star*

purplesmurfs

:: 2003 16 November :: 5.55pm

He stood there playing his guitar right in front of me, and all I wanted to do, was beat him with his guitar.. I was irritated with him.. Not because he wouldnt stop playing.. But because he kept looking at me, and he looked sad.. and there was nothing I could do.. I knew that I couldnt comfort him, without people thinking there was something going on.. Without me, myself thinking something was going on between us.. I couldnt do it, knowing that he had a girlfriend, but I was still letting myself get more attached.. I stopped talking to him so that I could pick myself up off the ground.. And I miss him.. I miss talking to him as a friend.. I cant stand this.. I want to be his friend, but I cant do it, knowing I want him the way I do.. I dont know what to do.. I want to be over him.. I've had all the time in the world, to get over him.. and my feelings just dont go away.. I cant stand to watch him hurting. Feeling the pain he feels.. Watching him with her, breaks my heart. Because it seems like she's not enough to make him happy.. If only I hadnt met him.. *sigh* I just need to tell myself, I dont want him.. I cant have him. I dont want him..

*ride my star*

purplesmurfs

:: 2003 16 November :: 5.51pm

You told me to believe
And have faith in God
Told me so many unreal things
That helped me feel good inside
Yet Im still standing here alone
In the one place I feel safe
Not sure if I should cry or not
So much emotion, so many feelings
Flushed away in a matter of moments
Never had that chance to share with you
The way I really felt inside

*ride my star*

purplesmurfs

:: 2003 16 November :: 5.50pm

Will you, when I?
11.12.03

Will you wrap your arms around me
When I am cold and almost blue
Will you pick me up
When I have fallen
Will you be my guide and savior
When the road gets rough
Will you hold my hand
When I get scared
Will you smile for me and hold me tight
When Im sad and afraid to be alone

*ride my star*

fadingfallenstar

:: 2003 16 November :: 4.02pm
:: Music: The Used-Say Days ago

grrr.
my weekend was alright. went and saw the matrix last night, it was good. i wasnt as confused as i thought id be since i didnt see the second one.

..i was gonna hang out with brad, kelly and justin today, but my mom said no. they came over and i couldnt go so i felt bad, but i thought they were calling first so i could ask my mom. hope their not mad at me. :( there was no reason i couldnt go, my mom was just being stupid.

so once again another boring day at home.

1 *ride* | *ride my star*

fadingfallenstar

:: 2003 15 November :: 1.19pm
:: Music: The Beatles-Let it be

such a gloomy..cold day.
well everyones gone again. its cold.
last night was fun. had a few people over...i needed to just laugh about stupid shit. made me feel a little better.

i still have this damn cold. and i swore it was gone.

chicken noodle soup sounds good right now, i think i'll go make some.

*ride my star*

fadingfallenstar

:: 2003 14 November :: 3.22pm
:: Music: The Clash-Rock the Casbah

i hate rap music. like a lot.
the only word to describe how i felt today would have to be..

alone. yes, that sums it up.

*waits for people to show up at my house*
boredom sucks.

5 *ride*s | *ride my star*

fadingfallenstar

:: 2003 13 November :: 5.05pm

more and more each day im falling apart. slowly.



fuck.

*ride my star*

fadingfallenstar

:: 2003 12 November :: 8.08pm

please read..
AFI - This Time Imperfect [Lyrics: Click + to display]+

1 *ride* | *ride my star*

fadingfallenstar

:: 2003 12 November :: 7.56pm
:: Music: AFI-Silver and Cold

fuck him.
hey look. my dads home. and hes drunk. and my moms telling him to leave and he wont.

i hope he dies. i really do.

9 *ride*s | *ride my star*

fadingfallenstar

:: 2003 12 November :: 5.30pm

somethings missing and im sick of pretending everythings there.

1 *ride* | *ride my star*

fadingfallenstar

:: 2003 12 November :: 5.03pm
:: Music: The Yeah Yeah Yeahs-modern romance

it is fucking cold in this house.
im really cold. like freezing...my fingers are frozen, my feet are frozen..in conclusion im cold.

this week has sucked. not sure why..it just has. absolutely nothing to be happy about. nothing good has happened for such a long time.

while i sit in each class im not really there. im thinking about everything but what the teacher is saying. i go home and pour my heart out onto paper. by the end of the day im drained. falling asleep in like 20 minutes at 10 pm is unusual for me. i guess its nice to dream. thats when things are how i want them. for once.

leaving forever would be good. however id be more alone. no way of winning for me lately. things have never been as i had wished. i should be fucking use to it by now.

I dont want to let fear rule my life...I dont want to give up before i die-Smile Empty Soul/Silhouettes

*ride my star*

fadingfallenstar

:: 2003 11 November :: 3.51pm
:: Music: AFI-File 13

i am not a creature...ah ha ha.
my thoughts on sex
why would god make something thats so much fun (or so i hear..wouldnt know due to lack of expierence, but its all the rage in cedar) cause so much pain later?
i had to watch child birth videos today. i went into that class thinking i didnt want to have kids, now im sure. im gonna go for adoption or that surrogant(sp?) mother shit.

yup.

8 *ride*s | *ride my star*

fadingfallenstar

:: 2003 11 November :: 5.44am

do you ever realize how selfish some people are? they figure.."it didnt affect me in any way so i dont care"

11 *ride*s | *ride my star*

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