A story Kate wrote
Read it bitches

Stacy the Porn Whore

Stacy the porn whore was walking through a horn store. She saw a pretty trumpet display and grabbed a silver one to play. Her tune was bad and made the customers sad. They began to shout and kicked her out. Stacy walked on, meeting a man named Don. "Why hello," he said, but Stacy had his mind read. He slipped her a dollar and said, "I'll make you holler." "I don't play that way," she began to say. Then she walked right past, the man got mad fast. "Come back!" he yelled, dropping the dollar he held. Stacy flipped him off, and merely scoffed. A few minutes later, she saw an alligator. He wore a top hat and sat on a cat. With his mouth full of lint, he asked for a mint. Stacy declined then left from behind. Being quite flustered, she pulled out some mustard. Gulping a glob, she heard a loud sob. Across the road sat a huge toad. Covered in napalm, it was gnawing on lip balm. "You're sick!" Stacy stated, though her remark was belated. For the toad flew away, on its barrel of hay. Suddenly she fell, to the deep pits of Hell. But Hell it was not! T'was a peanut butter pot! She ate to her fill, till the butter was nill. A small bit remained, for she left it unclaimed. Something was wrong.. she spotted a bong! As she was lighting it up, a wigger yelled, "Sup?" She looked up in surprise with her squinted red eyes. He unzipped his head, and Kate popped out instead. "Dude, I'm so high," was Stacy's only reply. Kate smashed the bong, then sang an educational song. Stacy ran away with the possums to play. The moral Stacy learned was.. well I don't know, she never returned.

3 *ride*s | *ride my star*