catching signals that sound in the dark.

catching signals that sound in the dark.

:: 2005 8 October :: 11.53pm

I remember when I was a little kid and I wanted to grow up to be a car mechanic.

I liked the idea of lying under cars and getting dirty. I could roll out from under the car on that board with wheels, and roll back under when I didn't want anybody to find me.

2 carrot flowers | oh comely...

xsilentxsuicidex

:: 2005 8 October :: 11.31pm

I remember when I believed what people told me.
I don't remember what you call that.

well, i'll go to college and i'll learn some big words,
and i'll talk real loud- goddamn right i'll be heard.

oh comely...

xsilentxsuicidex

:: 2005 7 October :: 6.49pm

I want not to feel.

I want not to want.

So this is how I always spend my Friday nights.
Alone and feeling sorry for myself.

What a waste of life.

1 carrot flower | oh comely...

xsilentxsuicidex

:: 2005 4 October :: 8.45pm

2 carrot flowers | oh comely...

xsilentxsuicidex

:: 2005 29 September :: 8.54am

Over the past couple of days, things have spiraled out of control.

I can't get into details, because we have to get over to the hospital...

We're in Durham; my dad's at the Duke hospital. He had to be flown here the night of the 27th.

Yesterday everything went great. He got a surgery, it went well, and everyone was so happy.

This morning at 4:40am, we got a call from the hospital. He has to go back into surgery for 2 things today. For his leg and his intestine. They used the word fatal. And through all of this stuff, that was the first time they had used that word.

And I think that's what really hit us.
There is a 10% chance that my dad will live through this surgery.

We were all expecting to go over and see him sitting upin bed, awake and happy .Just being himself. Like he was last night...

I don't know what's going on anymore.

Please, God... let him be okay....

Everyone, please keep my dad in your prayers.

3 carrot flowers | oh comely...