xsilentxsuicidex
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2005 2 June :: 10.41pm
:: Mood: Crushed.
:: Music: My Chemical Romance- Helena
*sigh*
Sadly, once again...
I succeeded in being the faggot,
Who sat in the corner.
Not talking.
I apologize for everything wrong I've done.
To any and all of you.
And I apologize for being so desolate and quiet.
I just haven't really been myself lately.
Or maybe I've just been my old self.
The Dana I used to be.
The Dana I hated.
The Dana that everyone hated.
I'm not very fond of change,
And I'm afraid that things may never be the same again.
I miss everyone.
I miss having more than three real friends;
Friends I actually spend time with and see regularly.
Who knows...
Maybe this is just me being an angsty teen.
This time, I doubt it.
Everything has just fallen apart so fast.
I hate not being able to change things.
I really do.
Cameron, thank you for trying to talk to me.
I appreciate it so much. It really means a lot to me.
I hope maybe some day,
Things can go back to how they used to be.
oh comely...
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xsilentxsuicidex
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2005 31 May :: 8.48pm
:: Mood: Mediocre.
:: Music: Flogging Molly- Drunken Lullabyes
Slurp.
Well, last night/today was pretty good.
I spent the night with Aisha and Keely...
It was pretty fun.
Then I slept on the floor. Ha.
We got up, and Aisha made me breakfast. =)
Then, we came to my house for a while.
After a while, we went and got Andrew, and went to the mall.
Where we found Derrek, who was just getting off work.
So we hung out with him.
He's crazy. Heh. It's so funny.
Well, the mall got boring after a while.
So we all piled in the car, and went to my house.
Where we hung out for a while.
And then Andrew had to leave. ='(
So we're sitting here, listening to music.
And everyone's about to leave.
I'm starting to get used to summer.
--- Oh yeah. And, uh, about my last post... Still comment on it. I'll make a post on it like tomorrow or something. =)
I take it back.
Summer sucks.
Because I'm just a shitty friend
Who never does anything right.
I knew it'd happen like this...
I'd lose touch with people,
And someone's feelings would get hurt.
And now I'm a bad guy.
*sigh*
♥
4 carrot flowers |
oh comely...
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xsilentxsuicidex
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2005 27 May :: 8.55pm
300th Journal Entry!
Heh. Woo. Everyone celebrate.
So, tonight, I did what I just bitched about doing.
I (kind of) ditched people...
But I mean, only for a couple of minutes.
Because I showed up, and everything felt... Weird.
And Derrek called, so I went to go visit him.
When I came back, I guess people were either:
A.)Mad that I left, or
B.)Upset that I came back?
Because, no one talked to me.
Except for a few small comments from Tony. And Ryan.
But mostly just Tony telling me to go to sleep.
Because I "looked dead."
I guess I can't complain.
I didn't exactly try to strike up a conversation.
It was just... weird;
Sitting there. Staring out the window.
I always feel so out of place these days.
And I'm not sure why.
I must've really fucked up this time.
So. Happy 300th entry to me.
I've gone back and read over entries before--
I was so much happier.
Regardless, I was still a bi-polar, angsty teen.
I guess I'll just have to get used to feeling like this. =/
3 carrot flowers |
oh comely...
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xsilentxsuicidex
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2005 27 May :: 11.39am
I'm about to go out to dinner.
I'm not sure who's going to be there...
But I'm nervous. Because apparently people don't enjoy being around me...
Oh well. We'll see how it goes.
oh comely...
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xsilentxsuicidex
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2005 26 May :: 3.13pm
You know what?
Fuck all of this.
Bad day.
Just shows me not to have high expectations.
Ever.
*sigh*
Edit @ 6:30: And now... This is what I get for posting my feelings online.
Oh well.
I'll just go jump of my fucking plateau of righteousness.
Maybe I'll just leave you all alone.
Because, you know, no one enjoys beign around a clueless person.
God. I didn't know a simple little comment could hurt so bad.
Welcome to the drama of the online journal.
3 carrot flowers |
oh comely...
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