xsilentxsuicidex
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2005 12 May :: 8.53pm
I've come to a conclusion:
I was meant to be alone.
Whenever I find friends, I always do something to fuck it up. I don't know why it happens, or what I keep doing wrong, but I always lose them.
I've decided that most people (mainly at Roland Grise) don't actually like me. Everyone acts all buddy-buddy with me... Then they either talk about me behind my back, or don't act like real friends. I had so many good friends last year... We said we'd keep in touch and always be close... But I can't say I've talked to many of them more than a few times over the past year... So the number wound down this year, and it keeps getting smaller and smaller.
No one spends time with me anymore. The past few days at lunch/break I have found myself alone. No one cares. No one even notices.
I made it without friends for 12 years... Then people finally started to get to know me, and befriend me. You guys don't have to pretend to like me. I can go on without you. Trust me, I know how. Please... Just don't fuck around with it. Friendship means a lot to me, because I don't find it in many people.
I'm not asking for sympathy.
I just want you guys to be real.
Tell me what I'm doing wrong, and I'll try to fix it.
1 carrot flower |
oh comely...
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xsilentxsuicidex
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2005 9 May :: 6.41pm
And the winner of best comment goes to...
*drum roll*
It's a tie. You all win. So here's a cookie.
Fill in the blanks...
OR ELSE!
I ____ Dana.
Dana is _____.
If I were alone in a room with Dana, I would ____.
I think Dana should ____.
Dana needs ____.
Someday, Dana will ____.
Dana reminds me of ____.
Dana can be ____.
The worst thing about Dana is ____.
The best thing about Dana is ____.
I am ____ with Dana.
I want Dana to ____ me.
If I could describe Dana in one word, it would be ____.
Dana would never ____.
Dana can ____ my ____.
I hope Dana never ____.
I ____ Dana because ____.
3 carrot flowers |
oh comely...
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xsilentxsuicidex
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2005 8 May :: 9.13pm
Leave me a comment...
Just any comment... Make something up.
Best commenter gets... a cookie.
5 carrot flowers |
oh comely...
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xsilentxsuicidex
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2005 5 May :: 8.50pm
Truley amazing. Tonight made me realize that I'm actually going to miss Roland Grise. I know, I'll kick myself in the ass later on for actually admitting to that, but I really will. I have some of the greatest teachers in the world, and I have such a great bond with some of them whom I've had for 2 years... And it hurts to know that I've never realized it until now, 20 days before I leave that place for good.
Tonight was the Chorus concert. The last concert of the year. The last concert for me at Roland Grise... At the end, I got up and made a "speech" type thing... It wasn't long, but it came straight from my heart.
As much as I complain about "hating" Mr. Riel, I am going to miss him so much. He has taught me a lot about life, and I love him for that. He has some weird ways of doing things, but I guess he gets them done. (Most of the time.)
When you walk through a storm, hold your head up high, and don't be afraid of the dark. At the end of the storm, there's a golden sky, and the sweet silver song of a lark. Walk on through the wind, walk on through the rain, though your dreams be tossed and blown... Walk on, walk on with hope in your heart, and you'll never walk alone.
1 carrot flower |
oh comely...
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xsilentxsuicidex
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2005 1 May :: 3.04pm
I don't want anyone else to know how amazing you are...
1 carrot flower |
oh comely...
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