Upchuck
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2004 3 December :: 1.58am
Okay Andy, how does this sound:
Saturday December 4
SKELLETONES
Cold Plymouth, Midnight Radio, I Must Have, Vigilantes.
That's all I've got so far. $3 cover.
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jedibumblebee
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2004 2 December :: 7.59am
yay for plans!
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upchuck
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2004 1 December :: 10.37pm
Andy's list of facts have clued me into one important thing about guys like us. Our innoncence is not of our own choosing. If we had a choice, we would most likely wish to be engaged in all levels of debauchery. But some how, some where inside of us is this innate need to be the way we are. And it is annoying as all hell.
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upchuck
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2004 30 November :: 5.14pm
So, now I have this over arching sense that everything is going to be alright. Am I still pissed off? Well, yeah. But it's inside now and not such an issue. Everytime I think about it I don't want to cry. So I guess that's good. Whether she comes back to me or not is something I've thought about, but I really shouldn't. Only time will tell, and that is her perogative. Like I said, I'm still pissed off, but at least I know now that everything will be okay.
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upchuck
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2004 29 November :: 7.57pm
The more I think about it, the more pissed off I get. She made me the way she doesn't want me to be now. She made me that way. Did I go to church before her? No. I was ready to do just about anything before she came along. And then she came along and encouraged me to be the way I am. And now she says she doesn't want that. Or rather that I can't be in that part of her life because I'm not that kind of person. She doesn't realize that I hate this part of me. I hate the part of me that is scared to ever do anything. To be honest, I can't understand why people do. perfectly normal people talk about it all the time and it doesn't seem to effect them. Why can't I be like that? Why am I internalizing this? I don't know. It's because that is what i do. I have to get this out before I start writing because it really sucks that I feel this way. I still don't know if I could ever take her back after what she said. I guess we'll have to wait and see.
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upchuck
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2004 28 November :: 11.15pm
:: Mood: crying
:: Music: "Tuesday's Gone" Lynyrd Skynyrd
ugh
So, I guess it all did matter, except for the fact that she loved me. Oh how I wished that that were enough. But it wasn't. It wasn't enough for her. Five months, let's pull the handle, flush, there it goes. I hate it. I hate it so much. I hate that her life turns on a dime like that. I hate that she's classified me in her life like she's somehow superior that she can do that. I hate it. I hugged her and I started crying like I'm crying now. It wasn't enough for her. It's never going to be enough for her.
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jedibumblebee
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2004 26 November :: 5.21am
:: Mood: exhausted
i haaaaate working retail.
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jedibumblebee
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2004 24 November :: 11.09pm
:: Mood: drunk
:: Music: Lenny Kravitz- Ladyyy
I'm crazy for this little lady
I'm freaking for my little baby
'Cause she makes me feel good
She's so fine
Don't need all my other ladies
I'm beggin' for this little lady
'Cause I tell you she's cool
She's divine
I know she's a super lady
I'm weak and I've gone hazy yeah
I'm crazy for that lady
She's chic but she's not shady yeah
Sophisticated lady
And she makes me feel good
She's so fine
Never knew there was such a lady
That would make me want to straighten
Out my life at this time but I find
I'm thinkin' 'bout this pretty lady
I would love her good as my own baby (?)
'Cause you know she's no fool
She's refined
I know she's a super lady
I'm weak and I've gone hazy yeah
I'm crazy for that lady
She's chic but she's not shady yeah
Sophisticated lady
And she makes me feel good
She's so fine
Yeah
Don't you know she blows my mind
All the time
'Cause she makes me feel good
Like a real woman should
Yeah
She's so mine
Yeah
I'm weak and I've gone hazy yeah
I'm crazy for that lady
She's chic but she's not shady yeah
Sophisticated lady
And she makes me feel good
And she makes me feel good
And she makes me feel good
She's so fine
Yeah
Don't you know she blows my mind
All the time
And she makes me feel good
Like a real woman should
Yeah
All the time
Yeah
Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah
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jedibumblebee
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2004 18 November :: 3.48pm
ever have a day when you just feel totally socially inept?
tune in to my radio show tonite at 5, i might have a rant about it.
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upchuck
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2004 16 November :: 4.54pm
:: Mood: horny
:: Music: "Hasta Nagila" (I hope I spelled that right)
Does the rules of the Computer Lab not state "NO CELLPHONES"?
Stupid people.
I reviewed my entries from this time last year, go ahead, look at them. Do the survey. Please!!!!! I am naked!!!!!! No, not really. Not that you'd look anyway.
Look, I'm coming up on that time last year when I fell for her hard. I'm glad I did. I'm glad we have what we have now. Despite the fact that I am turning my head. Despite the fact that I have seen her a whole total sum of 3 hours in the last three weeks. Despite my all encompassing desire to know her. Despite my efforts and my best laid plans (no pun intended). I still love her. The thought of that, for some reason makes me want to cry, it also won't let me type right. Are we better people for this? I'm not sure sometimes, but let's hope so.
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upchuck
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2004 16 November :: 3.06pm
:: Mood: confused
:: Music: none
none
Have you ever noticed that the word "none" is a combination of "no" and "one" without the extra "o"?
Believer to Believer, one has to wonder sometimes if this are just little tricks being played on us. That when we think things are as they should be, they really are not. When one thinks there is a purpose for a person in your life, and you embrace that, you making a grave mistake. Or maybe God's spectacular plan is just being played with by ignorant and stubborn human beings who are so selfish that they cannot possible comprehend the damage they are doing. Not only in their relationship with Him, but in their relationships with others.
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jedibumblebee
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2004 11 November :: 9.54am
:: Mood: elated
guess what?
i got a new job!
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crazygirl
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2004 10 November :: 8.13pm
a turkey testicle festival..
beer, turkey testes, illinois.
sounds tasty?
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upchuck
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2004 26 October :: 7.05pm
:: Mood: indescribable
:: Music: "Sweet Home Alabama" Lynyrd Skynyrd
I'm coming home. I'm just really sick of this place again.
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jedibumblebee
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2004 25 October :: 5.39pm
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