Songs From the Ugly Organ

Songs From the Ugly Organ

:: 2004 1 March :: 10.53pm

Just Another Manic Monday
I don't really like mondays. Last night I got five hours of sleep, but I was falling asleep throughout the day. After school I had to go pick up our repaired car, so I only got to rest for a bit. Play practice started at 4:30, and we got to review saturday's tape. Tonight we did a full run-through in dress, and it actually looks kinda good. Things are finally starting to fit together. Well, I got to study for world studies and tomorrow I got an appointment. Later.

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jburt1

:: 2004 29 February :: 9.41pm

Well, the dress rehersal wasn't exactly a dress rehersal. All we really did was put on our costumes and mics and sing through the show's musical numbers with the pit. Random note: shocking people is fun (hehehe).

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jburt1

:: 2004 29 February :: 12.23am
:: Mood: drained

tech day in review
Play takes so much out of me. After the run-through tonight, I was so drained that I couldn't do anyhing the rest of the night. That, and I had the never-ending headache. Overall, the show needs improvement. A lot of lines and blocking were skipped/forgotten. During my brig scene with th cards, I completely blanked out. I was like a deer in headlights. I still gotta incorporate more upper body movment. Before the practice, Dr. Reilly showed made a presention of the pictures he's taken since we started. He's really good with that. Plus, its awesome to see how far we've come. I guess our car needs some serious repair, so we're only down to one car. It happened while I was at play, so my dad came and took the car I drove in (the good car) and I had to walk home. Not exactly enjoyable when you're about to fall over. And what does my dad say when I walk in the door? "What'd they serve for dinner?" Uhm..nice one, dad. Then I asked him how The Passion was and he said "it was okaaay." To make it even better, he hogged the tv from the time I came home, took a nap, and long after I got up, watching some stupid star trek movie and "Antique Roadshow" on PBS! I was a little frustrated with stuff tonight. I saw "Peg" at the gas station, which was kind of weird/funny. Well, I'm zoning, so I'm out.

give a word, take a word

jburt1

:: 2004 28 February :: 1.24am

Tonight was nice. I actually got to hang out with Katie and Christina outside of school/play. We used to hang out in the past, but then all our friends went off and did their own thing I guess. Anyways, they taught me how to play poker tonight: both draw and stud. So maybe I'll have an idea about what I'm saying on stage. We also went to the Catholic v. Reeths Puffer hockey game. Josie and I took turns taking pictures, and during the halftime we met the infamous "Paul." The only bad part of the night was seeing a friend sad and not being able to really help her or comfort her. I know she'll be alright though.

On a completely cynical/satirical/morbid note, I thought about something when I was driving home...No one's life is perfect, right? And in the scope of things, one human life doesn't seem that significant. If life is so meaningless, why don't we all committ suicide all at once? Hey, we'd be dead and there'd be no more problems ; )

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jburt1

:: 2004 27 February :: 12.34am

Play is starting to get stressful. We open in two weeks, and that is pretty scary. Dress Rehersal is Sunday, and I'm going to crap my pants. Tonight we had some issues arrise as to a lead potentially dropping out. I hope they don't because not only would they screw the show over, but they would end up regretting it down the road. Right now is the most difficult part of play, but come opening night, closing night, and all the performances inbetween, it will be completely worth it. I can't even describe the estatic feeling of self-accomplishment/worth that you get after a performance. I get goosebumps just thinking about it. Anyways, today I practically emptied my checking account out to buy a ticket for.......BLINK 182 + NO DOUBT LIVE, TWEETER CENTER, CHICAGO, JUNE 13TH, 6:30 PM! I think I'm going to ride down with Brandi...that show is going to be awesome.

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jburt1

:: 2004 25 February :: 11.15pm
:: Music: lustra "scotty doesn't know"

It's weird. The past 24 hours I've been a combination of roid rage and motivation to get things done. Despite my mini-outbursts (I don't even know how many times I said the word "fuck" yesterday), I created an ad for yearbook and picked up the money today. I tried selling ads, too, but no one is ever in their office. ..........................
Today is ash wedesdays, for those of you who didn't know aready, and catholic got a half day. It was a good thing because I feel like I'm hanging by thread or heading towards a breakdown, and today I got to rest up and get things done. A few days ago I got my ACT results back. Overall, I scored a 28, one point less than the first time I took it. My science score went down 4 points, and m math score went down 5 point, but my reading score went up 4 points. If you add my best scores together, it averages to a 30.25 on the ACT...not bad. Yesterday I got a check from the state attourney general. The $13.86 was a settlement check from the lawsuit against Sony Records. I guess in the 90's they did something illegal and sold CDs higher than they should have. I can't argue free money.

give a word, take a word

jburt1

:: 2004 25 February :: 2.17am
:: Music: OAR "black rock"

On the black rock is where i spend my time
writing a memory or writing a rhyme
thinking about what is right or wrong
On the black rock is where i like to go
After a long night comin home from MY show
thats where i write my song all day long
the black rock

About a one, maybe two, three, four, five years ago
Oh when I lived my days full of confusion, as you know
This comes and goes
But it leaves me upset all the time
Oh i was ready to do anything that was wrong
And I was looking for an answer, to just one of these questions here
So I went to this river side, to find me head so clear
And I saw this old man, sitting on a big black rock (black rock)
I said what's your name...he said i'm old man time

And my son well i've been waiting for you for long
You see that i can see your favors, that are growing in you strong
Well I can see that your so hurt, and I can see that your so vein
But you must listen to this thing I say and live through it all again
You must lose that anger, lose all that hate, it ain't gonna work no more
You see this world is runned by love and absolutely nothing more
So I laid down all my pain, and I got rid of my hate
And I love to get away and the black rock is where I stay
We all have a black rock, its in our minds, and I go there all the time
Its the black rock!

give a word, take a word

jburt1

:: 2004 24 February :: 8.19pm
:: Mood: physically/mentally drained

Today is just one of those days where I want to go sleep on the train tracks. It seems like nothing's going right, and I have a high temper (true, all the sugar I had is probably having an affect on me). I'm physically and mentally exhausted (again, it's probably the sugar). I have terrets. To sum things up: my dad is stupid, college stuff is overwhelming, I have to memorize act II in one night, I need to recooperate.

give a word, take a word

jburt1

:: 2004 24 February :: 12.09am
:: Mood: pissed off

Fuckkk. Fuck you. and you. and you. and you...but not you. You know what? I am judgemental. Generally, I am open to ideas, and don't care how other people choose to live their lives. But when people you know change and become fucking hypocrites, I become a bit offensive. I know that right now I'm just as immature as they are, but we all make mistakes. I wish people could see the mistakes they make. You know, I think all of this high school bullshit is just going to make me more closed off to the world. Oh well. I can't wait to get out of here. Tonight I got the reassurance i needed. Dr. Reilly told me that I'll love loyola. He's going to give me a list of people that he said changed his life there, and maybe they'll do the same for me. A lot more people recognized my hair than I thought...not that it matters. It's change, and I like change. I don't care what anyone else thinks.

2 Word(s) | give a word, take a word

jburt1

:: 2004 22 February :: 11.26pm
:: Music: gc "hold on"

Ouch, my head hurts
Despite from all the stress, this weekend was actually kind of fun. Saturday I had play practice. We had the costume parade, too. I like my costume except the hat. It looks like a woman's/pirate's hat! I went to valueland yesterday, but I couldn't find the kind of hat that I want to wear. I'm looking for those old kind-of-top-hat hats. I did do one thing slightly rebellious this weekend (yes, it's rebellious for me, lol)...emily came over and she dyed my hair black. It looks kinda blue in the light, but I still like it. I wonder how many people will notice, though. Jami did after I told her, but Jill noticed on her own. That was at the TeenLife thing at St. Michael's. I actally didn't mind going to that. Even though it's still church, it's better than the mass at St. Mary's. Youth group's not that bad either. Well, I gotta study for Brooks and memorize Act II.

give a word, take a word

jburt1

:: 2004 22 February :: 11.26pm
:: Music: gc "hold on"

give a word, take a word

jburt1

:: 2004 20 February :: 9.54pm

Sleep sounds good right now, but I probably won't get there until after midnight. We'll see. Today we had our senior seminar meeting. We talked about our three job shadows and what we were hoping to get out of them. I'm going to do my shadowing in marketing, theater management, and optomatry. If all goes well and I like my job shadow experiences, I'll spend the first few years after college working in international marketing and then when I save up enough dough, I'll own and manage a small theater in chicago.

4 Word(s) | give a word, take a word

jburt1

:: 2004 20 February :: 12.33am
:: Music: the early november "sunday drive"

Things seem strange, as usual. I think one thing and contradict myself before the night's end. Dashboard Confessional lyrics run through my head - especially "I wish I was anywhere, with anyone, making out, and yet, I don't wish it to be with the one person that it is probably most likely with...Anyways, we had "law day" today, which is required to graduate. As I predicted, it was exactly like Career Day except only people involved with the law were there. Pretty boring stuff, especially the old guy. For some reason, my 5 hours of sleep didn't cut it, causing me to be a walking zombie most of the day. Fortuneatly, I lasted long enough to go to the dentist and play practice without taking a nap. I was surprised that the dentist only took 20 mins to put in 2 fillings, much shorter than the normal hour per filling. Maybe it was the anastetic that worked faster. Man, I like that stuff. It feels so cool. During my last check-up they said they woudln't be able to numb both sides of my mouth...but they did! I'm only pissed that the doc didn't give me white fillings. Instead, I have these crappy blue-grey dots on my teeth. I couldn't eat anything until 8 because I kept chewing my lip off. That was funny.

give a word, take a word

jburt1

:: 2004 18 February :: 12.15am
:: Mood: enthralled
:: Music: "scottie don't know"

That movie was awesome! As my last entry said, I won a contest through GRD and got to see their advanced screening of "Euro Trip." I laughed so much. That movie leaves the Amercan Pie trilogy in the dust. The showing was at Studio 28. I thought it was that theater that we pass going through grand rapids, but it was actually past downtown off the wyoming exit. Emily and I got there at 6:30, picked up some food at wendy's, and made it back the theater by 7:00. Sure enough, my name was on "the list." This spokesperson gave me a voucher to redeem for tickets, and when I handed it in at the ticket booth they actually carded emily and I! They strictly enforced that we had to be 18 to see the film. Nonetheless, I'm glad I went.

give a word, take a word

jburt1

:: 2004 16 February :: 10.45pm

Congratulations!!

You have scored passes to see �Euro Trip� tomorrow at 7:30pm at Studio 28!

Yep, that was a nice surprise. So tomorrow night Emily and I are going to go see the movie. I never win anything, so it's exciting. Just wait...it'll probably be a glich in their system and I didn't win at all : (

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