jedibumblebee
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2003 9 March :: 2.24pm
:: Mood: pleased
:: Music: Ben Kweller- Family Tree
Care about the moonlight
and holding you tight
and asking my questions.
Everyone loves a situation.
Long walks on the beach.
The press will impeach.
Lately I'm finding
I am the book and you are the binding.
I guess they'll read everything about you.
Though the press might shoot me down I'm still true.
I sell my book for free. That's what you do to me.
They push you away
or tie you up.
It don't really matter.
But if your head is up you won't get much sadder.
But who am I to preach a word or two
when I can't lift my own head without you?
If my mental state kept you from coming around
I hope the world would shoot me down for losing you.
A broken branch I'd be if you weren't grown to me.
Crash Test
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70billion
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2003 7 March :: 9.52pm
:: Mood: for a short period of time i was me again
:: Music: tbs-timberwolfs in newjersey
i first of all would like to thank dusty and rebecca for tonight it was the best night i have had in a long time. I was myself again and when ever i would start to get sad you guys would change the subject or make me laugh it was good to have a break from my mind and think. although jess was always in the back of my mind, it was still fun and i cant thank you enuff for tonight.
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70billion
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2003 6 March :: 9.29pm
:: Music: the used-the taste of ink
newsocky
so here it is
all my false hope
raped into one kiss
i realy am blind
i didnt know it ment good bye. I thought it ment just wait, things will be fine.
Maybe thats what it ment but just took it and grabed on. But then seeing you smile at me gives me hope and i grab on to that. But i\'ll make it easyer on everyone and leave for a while. i really hope you find yourself. And whatever else you are looking for. And maybe i just need to realize. realize im not sure but i will firgure it out. Its funny you cant explian it untill it happens to you. People think they understand i thought i did but i didnt untill know. Charlie you are one of the few poeple that knows what im going threw. and were so right when you siad enjoy it while it last and dont worry about screwing it up. and you were so right. Now another friend gave me this edvice and i agree fully keep things simple its always better. Now im going to figure things out. Man i never thought it would hurt this much.
1 Raise and Ruin |
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jedibumblebee
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2003 4 March :: 8.19pm
:: Mood: loved
:: Music: Dahsboard Confessional- So Impossible
I'd be so pleased to see you, out of the classroom, wearing that smile I gave you...
so when i was driving on west main today i am fairly sure that i saw someone i had hoped i could go the rest of my life without seeing again.
this is also following my visit to the doctor, where I was told that my back really is injured from working at menards, and i needed to get muscle relaxers for the pain and schedule appointments for physical therapy.
However, on a happier note, I spent the whole day with my wonderful boyfriend.
i never thought spring break would work out quite so well.
jason, thanks for being there for me, thanks for being the best boyfriend i've ever had. thanks for being such a supportive friend, even before we were a couple. and now, thanks for being able to argue with me, thanks for being able to teach me things i never thought i would believe or ever listen to. my dad's home, or this would be longer, sweeter, and mushier.
i miss ya, kid. hope to see you tomorrow.
"waiting through all of my bad, bad days jsut to end them with someone you care about..."
1 Raise and Ruin |
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jedibumblebee
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2003 2 March :: 11.48pm
hahahahah
Your Hottest Body Part is Your Hair!
A beauty salon is your mothership, and it's always calling you home.
Your hairstylist is your best friend.
You don't know how people lived with moose and no mousse.
You make men growl with that fabulous mane.
You can work it by swinging it on the dance floor or mussing it in bed during hot sex.
If they're looking for the next Jennifer Aniston hair craze, they need look no further than you.
Celebs who work their hair as hard as you do include: Anna Kournikova, Nicole Kidman, Beyoncé Knowles, and of course, Jennifer Aniston.
Want to play up your hair even more?
Wear simple makeup and tops, so that your flowing hair is the main attraction.
Spruce your hair up even more with a little shine, glitter, or highlights.
What's Your Hottest Body Part??
More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva
1 Raise and Ruin |
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70billion
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2003 2 March :: 2.49pm
upcoming bruce said checkers dates are:
march 8th-julie's party
march 14th-The bean 8 pm $2 cover
april 4th-bean
april 17-the kent theater
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jedibumblebee
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2003 2 March :: 1.18am
:: Mood: nerdy
i had so much darn fun tonite. really i had a blast. thank you.
1 Raise and Ruin |
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jedibumblebee
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2003 2 March :: 1.17am
:: Mood: bouncy
Kitt-y!
You are a lazy Grey kitten
What color of kitten would you be?
brought to you by Quizilla
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70billion
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2003 1 March :: 10.56pm
:: Mood: rejected
:: Music: incubus-i miss you
i gave you my heart on a bed of roses
i love you
i need you
i want you
but life goes on
and i will have to deal with that. I dont need to tell you my feeling because i know you know what they are. but sometimes i wish i didnt love you. because it hurts so much. i mean out of all the girls in this world i love you. but such is life. you cant get what you want.want what you cant have. i only see you one way the only way ive really known you. I see you as my girlfriend but you are not and i know you dont see my as your boyfriend. You know my number and when you find what you want and if it involes me call me but untill then im going to my best to move on(we know i will do a crappy job at it) and try to kill the pain of rejection. have a good night. i know i wont untill your back but such is life.
2 Raise and Ruin |
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70billion
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2003 1 March :: 10.48pm
:: Mood: no mood will do
The Used
Buried Myself Alive
you almost always pick the best times
to drop the worst lines
you almost made me cry again this time
another false alarm
red flashing lights
well this time I'm not going to watch myself die
I think I made it a game to play your game
and let myself cry
I buried myself aive on the inside
so I could shut you out
and let you go away for a long time
I guess it's ok I puked the day away
I guess it's better you trapped yourself in your own way
and if you want me back
you're gonna have to ask
nicer than that
I think the chain broke away
and I felt it the day that I had my own time
I took advantage of myself and felt fine
but it was worth the night
I caught an early flight and I made it home
with my foot on your neck
I finally have you
right where I want you
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JediBumblebee
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2003 28 February :: 1.40pm
:: Mood: bored
:: Music: Zwan- Yeah!
What I want is what you want....and what I want is more.
wow. spring break here could be rough. i mean, just about everyone has already left and i'm still in the dorms with nothing to do but pack and mope around before work.
i might even.... **gasp!** ... watch some tv... oh god, what is this world coming to...
At least my room oughtta be damn clean by the time I leave. I'm trying to find a plus side!
Anyway, once I go to work, it's all downhill...I close tonite, then wait for Jason to call, then go to bed, get up early for work at 8, get off work at 4:30 and head HOME.
2 Raise and Ruin |
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70billion
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2003 27 February :: 3.32pm
:: Music: brak-i love beans
life is ok i could be tons better but it could be worse
thats about it.
something something
HHHHHAM
my mom left me in a shopping cart.
5 Raise and Ruin |
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JediBumblebee
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2003 25 February :: 12.58am
:: Mood: distressed
:: Music: Cake- Open Book
You think she's an open book, but you don't know which page to turn to, do you?
Sometimes I feel like no matter how hard I try I'm not doing enough. But I don't know what else I can do.
5 Raise and Ruin |
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JediBumblebee
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2003 24 February :: 1.03am
:: Mood: confused
its so hard to make an update that could describe my life right now in a way that could make any sense.
its like, a time when everything goes right at the same time things go wrong.
i love my life, i hate my life. i hate my friends, i love my friends. i'm satisfied with my life, i'm longing for so much more.
its challenging. i'm trying to meet the challenge.
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JediBumblebee
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2003 21 February :: 8.05pm
:: Mood: crappy
:: Music: Our Lady Peace- Annie
you've had enough....they're too unkind....but did anyone consider what annie might have in mind?
and so i realized today...
i hate my job.
like, seriously, i really hate it.
at times, it doesnt seem so bad, but thats really just a cover. i love to work, but i hate my job.
i hate the whole premise of it. customers bitch at me for things that are not my fault. they make stupid rules and then when you try to follow them, they are almost impossible to stick to. i never get out on time. i hurt my back almost every day that i work because they make me lift heavy shit. i waste almost every weekend of my life there. it requires no skill, and hardly a brain. some of my co-workers are incredibly annoying. my manager constantly accuses me of stealing or breaking major rules, even though i've worked there for like two years, and if i was planning on ripping them off, wouldn't i have done it by now? i cut up my hands, get splinters, and get totally dirty. my feet hurt from standing all day.
to the hundreds of people that i try to make happy every single day that i'm there, i'm hardly noticed. i'm just a tool. a living machine.
i'm reminded of a quote i read in an AIM profile:
"Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar."
Probably from some movie or something that i never saw, whatever, it gets my point across- i know that i'm bitching about a common complaint, but this is my issue for today.
and i missed the sun. i was at work before it was all the way up, and it was down before i got out. fuck that shit.
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