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jedibumblebee

:: 2002 31 December :: 2.38pm
:: Mood: hopeful
:: Music: SR-71- Let It Whip

NOW ACCEPTING APPLICATIONS :)
I attempted to recreate my entry from last night, I wrote it out in WORD because I didnt feel like losing it again.

Basically, despite all of my current failures on the dating scene, I'm come to the conclusion that I am probably ready for a boyfriend again. Although this seems rather illogical, I feel that because I have seen just about everything that COULD go wrong on a date, I have gained a good understanding of what I want and don't want in a guy. And I hate jumping around, believe it or not kissing 8 people in about a week isnt all that fun, I'd rather have the security associated with one devoted individual. but in reviewing the list, I realize that the chances of me finding one person that fits my criteria is slim...I'm sure thats not even all of it, just what I could think of off the top of my head. i just like putting it in list form so I will be able to go back to it and laugh.


„h Male (yes, preferred)
„h Between the ages of 17 and 23 (17-19 preferred)
„h Sense of humor
„h Sense of style, I don¡¦t care what kind, but some kind
„h A brain. It might appear to be a given but often its not.
„h No other girlfriends. Again, I thought it was a given but some people don¡¦t get it.
„h Taste in music. Not necessarily the same as mine, but I want him to have a passion that he can share with me.
„h A hidden talent. I don¡¦t care what it is, but he should have one.
„h Ambition in life. Again, really a variable, but I want him to have goals that he is after.
„h A hobby. Something to occupy his time, other than me. ƒº
„h GOOD SHOES
„h Spontaneity
„h Likes my punk friends
„h Has friends that I can get along with
„h Ability to be a hopeless romantic, but won¡¦t smother me with it
„h Can handle my attitude and doesn¡¦t mind me as a hippie.
„h Taller than me (petty, yes)
„h Weighs more than me (petty, self-consciousness plays into that)
„h Can dance, or is willing to pretend that he can
„h Independence
„h Decent kisser (please!)
„h Ability to use the phone to call me?
„h Honesty.
„h Ability to hold a conversation.
„h Ability to let me into the conversation.
„h Knows the rules and his boundaries
„h Breaks most if not all of said rules and boundaries
„h Makes me feel comfortable
„h Hopelessly devoted without being overbearing.

I'm sure that I should throw in some other point of randomness like he must have green eyes and be left-handed or something just to emphasize its impossibility.

6 Raise and Ruin | Crash Test


jedibumblebee

:: 2002 31 December :: 2.08pm
:: Mood: lazy
:: Music: OPM- Breakout

I got plans to be the dropout millionare...Oh, no, don't get me wrong...me and school just don't get along...I ain't goin to classes no more, write it up for your literature...
so what's everyone doing for new years?

i dont really know for sure yet, but i hope to at least do something.

you know what's depressing? there isnt any more snow on the ground. but everything's still dead.

it is TIME for me to go back to kalamazoo. i'm not sure if i'm ready for classes, but i miss the people...i miss the floor like mad....and i hate being at home.

Crash Test


jedibumblebee

:: 2002 31 December :: 12.35am
:: Mood: cold
:: Music: Elton John- Sad Songs Say So Much

When all hope is gone, why don't you tune in and turn them on?
lost a huge entry on the perfect guy, go figure.

think it's a sign?

that's hypothetical greg for you.

Crash Test


jedibumblebee

:: 2002 29 December :: 10.26pm

i thought woohu had that element of free speech? it goes to hell when you get stuck on a power trip.

Crash Test


jedibumblebee

:: 2002 29 December :: 9.14pm
:: Mood: chipper
:: Music: Randy McClain- My Understanding of Everything :)

It happened way too fast....hello, goodbye...you're in the past...
yeah. i'm just about to mellow out.

so i'm doing some stuff that i didnt plan on doing, and some other stuff that i didnt plan on doing AGAIN... but i figure why bother keeping myself from it if it is something that makes me feel content?

i told isaiah to back down, and i am proud of myself for that. i told him that i'm not gonna be his abercrombie girl.

there are still a few things that need straightening out. but i am mellow. yeah.....

i'm getting second thoughts about second chances. what did you think about that night? tell me.

Crash Test


jedibumblebee

:: 2002 27 December :: 12.30pm
:: Mood: moody

I need to just escape from my life, even if only for a few days.

Crash Test


jedibumblebee

:: 2002 26 December :: 7.28pm
:: Mood: cynical
:: Music: Built to Spill, Modest Mouse- Rentals

And I know the situation's never gonna change....but all I want from you... just tell me, do you love me?
New theory....more hugs, less drugs...

1 Raise and Ruin | Crash Test


jedibumblebee

:: 2002 26 December :: 1.41pm
:: Mood: mellow
:: Music: Dead Milkmen- Punk Rock Girl

We got into her car, away we started rollin....I asked "How much you pay for this?", She said, "Nothing, man..,.it's stolen..."
Always stay true to your roots.

Crash Test


jedibumblebee

:: 2002 26 December :: 2.25am
:: Mood: high

i get into way too much trouble.

peer pressure is a bitch.

and the tally is up to 6.

2 Raise and Ruin | Crash Test


jedibumblebee

:: 2002 25 December :: 11.16am
:: Mood: bored
:: Music: Modest Mouse- Jesus Christ Was an Only Child

I know now what I knew then, but I didn't know then what I know now...
my kitty is so perplexed...

she's perched herself ontop of my computer, and she keeps trying to chase the mouse icon as it moves across the screen.

yeah, this is my amusement for today. merry xmas everyone. happy holidays.

Crash Test


jedibumblebee

:: 2002 24 December :: 9.49pm

when can i find someone like me?

i just want to be comfortable again. thats really all i want.

Crash Test


jedibumblebee

:: 2002 24 December :: 9.23pm
:: Mood: discontent
:: Music: Diesal Boy- Emo Boy

Emo boy met emo girl, barrettes in her hair and buddy holly glasses...and laminated passes...they axed the club and went back to his house...and fooled around to the new record from Modest Mouse..
I think i should probably tell him the next time i talk to him...i'll never be who he thinks i am, what he wants me to be. its really sad, he was asking where i got my pants, i think he was expecting me to say "oh, these? i picked them up at abercrombie or american eagle..." and really that's not me, it'll never be me...i cant ride around in his pimp-mobile and pretend that i like DMX. it'll just never be true. this is the definition of "not my type". i mean, i will say i go for a lot of types...but i just dont see this ever working out. i'm a little bohemian punk girl....but with a ghetto homie boyfriend? i dont think so. no way. that and he scared the shit out of me with the romantic bullshit. if he doesnt even know me yet, why waste his time trying to impress me? i'm not what he wants anyhow.

Crash Test


jedibumblebee

:: 2002 24 December :: 6.02pm
:: Mood: lethargic
:: Music: Modest Mouse- Broke

Broken hearts want broken necks...I've got some things that I want to forget, but I can't...
the day is GONE. already. and i have done nothing. all day. its kindof sad really. i watched two movies though...Dogma and American Pie 2. so basically i havent moved from this computer chair.

and jason, i didnt mean to "hang up" on you last night. my computer disconnected and i didnt feel like screwing with it. however it was difficult falling asleep last night, i was worried that once i did i would never get out of bed again...i didnt have any reasons left...
however, you brought me to an interesting conclusion. i think i might just be afraid of commitment. not real common in females, i know...but when have i ever been known to follow the rules?

Crash Test


jedibumblebee

:: 2002 24 December :: 2.42am
:: Mood: cold
:: Music: Cranberries- Daffodil Lament

I have decided to start it from here. Thunder and lightening can't change what I'm feeling.
damn. its almost 3am.

i am being lazy this week.

as for the date...
it went ok. he did many things in a vicious attempt to steal my heart and yet did not steal it. i may see him again. i dont know for sure. i dont really see anything developing from it though.

hey, i know you guys are reading, how come i never get comments anymore?

for anyone who hasnt clicked the text ads that have been added to the site-- the one thats up right now...ArtSwag.com...its actually pretty cool. I recommend that you all check it out. I want to get a t-shirt that says WHORE on it in block letters and wear it the first day of classes. See what kind of reaction it gets.

Crash Test


jedibumblebee

:: 2002 23 December :: 1.32pm
:: Mood: distressed
:: Music: Jack Johnson- Posters

Cause when he's not drunk he's only stuck on himelf, and then he has the nerve to say he needs a decent girl...
i am going on a date tonite. but i dont think i really want to go. i'm afraid he might steal my heart and i'd prefer to keep it where it is.

i'm also afraid i will be there too long. i just like being by myself. yes that is how i like it.

but on another note, there is nothing more frustrating than when someone says they will call and don't. I only wish I knew why.

god, i have to leave in an hour and a half. i dont want to go. not today, why cant he come here??

people can be so inconsiderate. yeah, all of em.

i spent the morning moping about life and watching divorce court. furthering my belief that love is a farce.

maybe i secretly do want to go, i'm just nervous.



nah, i doubt it.

Crash Test

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