Depressing.. just so depressing.
Dear truely beloveds,

Since last letter I haven't been here really. Neither in body or in mind or in soul.. I am really happy that my neko-sama is coming to see me soon. Perhaps I won't be so damn lonely. Lemme tell you a few of the reasons I'm depressed..

1. I found letter from one of my former bfs.. Anthony. It was from when he went to camp. He said he missed me and couldn't wait to get home to talk to me and I haven't really heard from him since. He went into a major attitude change.. :shrugs:

2. I haven't talk to Alex in a long time and I really miss him.. Whenever I talk to him, I feel really happy but I never tell him that.. I dunno why. I think love makes you weak.

3. My sister's here and shes being a little bitch..

4. No one I know understands how sad and lonely I am because of the whole boyfriend thing... I know I won't just give my love away I just want to be with someone.. especially Alex. But I'm really afraid I'll never get to see him and that makes me kind of sad.. however, when I turn 18, and get to drive (Or when he does) and we still love each other as much as we do.. then I think either of us will drive to where the other lives. I'd like that..

I'm listening to Good Charlotte: Young and the Hopeless. I like Riot Girl and Bloody Valentine. Riot Girl reminds me so much of myself.. :laughes:

Anyways, I'm gonna post all my quiz results so ja ne!

Word of the day: Ja ne -- In the Japanese language it means somewhat along the lines of 'See yah later!'

Three things that scare me:
1:	My dad.
2:	Being alone,without friends.
3:	Being home,alone.
Three people who make me laugh:
1:	Robert
2:	Kalyanee
3:	Joe
Three Things I love:
1:	Death
2:	Blood
3:	Kisses
Three Things I hate:
1:	Government
2:	Old People
3:	People who just want to get in your pants.
Three things I don't understand:
1:	Life
2:	Boys
3:	My pshychotic father.
Three things on my desk:
1:	Hershey's chocolate wrapper.
2:	Rings..other jewelry
3:	Papers..lots of papers with notes.
Three things I'm doing right now:
1:	Typing on AIM
2:	Roleplaying
3:	Taking up space
Three things I want to do before I die:
1:	Love...truely love.
2:	Find a man who likes mozart and is classy and cute and gothic-ish that loves me ^^
3:	Stop being tormented by people who hate me.
Three things I can do:
1:	Draw
2:	Sing(or so I'm told)
3:	Kiss really good!
Three ways to describe my personality:
1:	Innocent
2:	Depressed
3:	Funny
Three things I can't do:
1:	Get work done >___<
2:	Eat vegetables
3:	Fart in front of people!

Three Things brought to you by BZOINK!

** basics **
Name::	Alexa Rae Schenck
Nickname::	Bunny, Kyoko, Little Dark Child
Location::	Florida
Gender::	Female
Birthplace::	Maryland
Birthstone::	Topaz
Birthday::	November 10, 1990
Sign::	Scorpio
Righty or Lefty::	Righty
Screenname::	rabbitofmoon2
** your looks **
Height::	5'4"
Weight::	125 lbs
Shoe size::	8 1/2
Hair Color::	Red (Its only dyed..normally dark brown)
Hair Length::	A little past the shoulders
Eye Color::	Blue
Size::	34 A
Glasses::	No
Braces::	No
Piercings::	Ears,once
Tattoos::	No
** fashion **
Where do you shop::	Hot Topic, Spencer's
What do you usually wear::	Black..
What kind of shoes do you wear::	Shoes? I wear boots!
Do you wear a watch::	Sometimes
Color you never wear::	Pink...
Color you wear at least once a week::	blue
Something you wear everyday::	Black or red
Do you wear make up everyday::	Yes
Make up essential::	Eyeliner,extended at the corner of the eyes
Most cherished piece of clothing::	My anime shirt..
You wouldn't be caught dead wearing::	Anything pink or frilly
Do you wear belts::	Yes
Do you wear hats::	Sometimes
How many pairs of shoes do you have::	5
** music **
Favorite kind of music::	Rock
Least Favorite::	Rap and raggea
How many CD's do you have::	Dunno..
Last CD you bought::	Evanescence
Whats in your CD player right now::	Evanescence
Do you download music::	Yes
** Favorites **
Color::	Black and red
Number::	7
Season::	Winter
Ice cream::	Butter Peacan
Website::	~none~
Quote::	Its better to be hated for what you are, than to be loved for something your not.
Store::	Hot Topic
Band::	Linking Park and Evanescence
Singer::	Pink
Rapper::
Group::
Song::	Numb by Linkin Park
Movie::	Queen of the Damned
Actor::	Leonardo Decapprio
Actress::
Kind of movies::	Horror;Slasher Films
Place to be::	Surrounded by plants
Time of day::	Night..midnight
Clothing Brand::	KIKGirl
Animal::	Wolf
Food::	Kalamari
Holiday::	Halloween
Shape::	Pyramid
Restaraunt::	Chi-Chi's
Fast food place::	Mc Donald's
Boy's name::	Cristopher
Girl's name::	Anna
Word::	Penis
Month::	November
Candy::	Twizzlers
** love and relationships **
Sexual Preference::	Boy or girl,doesn't matter as long as there good.
Boyfriend or Girlfriend::	Currently single and hatin' it
Crush::	Charlie...^^
Do you believe in love at first sight::	No.
What do you look for in a guy/girl::	Gentleness..yet the ability to be rough as well.
Best physical feature::	Lips
Best hair color::	Black
Best eye color::	Cold blue,almost white
** randoms **
Do you paint your nails::	Yes,sometimes
What color is your tooth brush::	purple
What's on your desktop::	Sesshoumaru-kun
Do you like roller coasters::	Yes
Do you do drugs::	Never have..
Are you a virgin::	Yes
Do you have any pets::	No
What time do you go to sleep::	Whenever I get tired.

Basic Survey [ 87 questions] brought to you by BZOINK!

what`s the first thing you`d do if you found out there was no god?:	Laugh at everybody who said there was one.
ifCHANGINGyourLIFEtoSOMETHINGyouHATEDwasTHEonlyWAYtoLIVEwouldYOUchange?:	I'd rather die than be something I'm not.
pot/nature/drinks/one person OR pot/tv/money/food/ one person?:	pot/nature/drinks/ one person
order their way OR chaos?:	Chaos,I cannot be controlled,just like the wind.
please define FREEDOM.:	Freedom: The right to do, say, wear, worship, pretty much anything how you want to do it without someone telling you you are wrong or haven't a right to do it.
if you could have ANYTHING at all [money, house, cars...] what?:	Freedom from this hell house.
to you, what is love? what`s it about?:	Love is when your away from somebody and you feel terrible sadness,but when they are near they ease all of your pains and comfort you. Love is not about sex or kissing..
THINK: we`re not big.one star could destroy our planet.we`re not powerful.:	I could have told you that. Even though,those silly people think they can control everything.
WELL THEN, what else would you rather be doing?:	Probably cutting up my wrists.
do you think it`d be better without electronics?:	No! Then I wouldn't have meh music to listen to. ^__^oo
why can clouds hold TONS of water, and not people?:	I'd have to think about it..and I dun wanna use my brain at the moment.
[youre not supposed to answer all of these FACTantly] arent we a speck?:	In terms of the universe,yes. We are specks. Specks of dirt tainting things with our evil ways.
what was ever wrong with public displays of affection?:	Nothing. If thats illegal,then how come people strip at parties all the time?
what are you thinking right now?:	I have to go to school soon....damn.
WHO DO YOU LOVE? if no one. who do you wish you loved?:	Someone who was just for me..

IRISES SURVEY: brought to you by BZOINK!

+ Basics +
Are you emotional ::	Yes
Do songs make you cry? If so, name a few ::	Depending..
What about movies ::	If its really sad..like My Dog Skip
What emotion do you usually feel ::	Depression
+ Sadness +
What does it take to make you cry your heart out ::	Knowing my friends hate me
How many times have you done that ::	Twice?
Where do you cry ::	On someones shoulder or alone.
Do you hate crying ::	Yes.
Do you like it when others cry ::	No..
Do you think tears make eyes look pretty ::	Yes.
Who looks good when they cry ::	No one really..
How else do you express sadness ::	Self mutalation.
Are you sad all the time ::	Most of the time..
+ Anger +
What does it take to make you mad ::	Anything really,I'm extremely tempermental
What do you do when you're angry ::	Hurt people.
How short is your temper ::	Shorter than an eyelash!
How long does it take you to calm down ::	A few days
What's the worst thing you've done when you were mad ::	Broke my phone by throwing it into the wall.
Do you freak out when others are angry ::	No. I slap them and tell them I'm the only one allowed to be angry. lol
Has anyone ever recommended anger management to you ::	Yes,more than a few.
What's the worst thing someone's done to make you mad ::	Touched me in..places. Insulted my family.
Do you anger people ::	I guess I do ^^;
+ Joy +
How often are you happy ::	Not alot..I put on a mask often.
What makes you happy ::	When others are happy.
What do you do when you're happy ::	Laugh..ALOT.
How optimistic are you ::	Opti-what?
Do happy people make you mad ::	If they are overly happy.
What's the worst thing someone can do while they're happy ::	Take something to far.
Ever been so happy you were dying to tell everyone ::	Believe it or not,yes.
Ever been so happy you cried ::	Nope..
Do you smile a lot ::	For my friends and for them only.
Kiss people a lot::	No...
Who really makes you happy ::	Sayna-chan!
Do you like doing things for people when you're happy ::	Sure!
+ Fear +
What do you do when you're scared ::	Curl up in a ball..but I hardly get scared so.
What scares you ::	My dad
Do you like scaring people ::	Sometimes.
Do you like the trill of being frightened ::	Yes!
Does fear accompany anger in your case ::	::nods::
Ever been so scared you couldn't breathe ::	No
How often do you panic ::	Not often,I cna tell you that.
What's the one thing that scared you more than anything else EVER ::	When my dad pushed me into the pantry door..and caused all of the bruises.
What do you do to calm your nerves ::	Eat chocolate.
Do rollercoasters scare you ::	No.
+ The strongest emotion +
What song never fails to get your strongest emotions going ::	Intimate touching and kissing.
Movie ::	Titanic
Commericial ::	..........
Person ::	Sayna-chan!!
Thing ::	The moon.
Sight ::	The moon over the ocena
Sound ::	Violins..
Food ::	............
Thing you're looking forward to/want ::	A good boyfriend!
+ What do you do +
When the emotion suck ::	TRy to ignore it.
When the emotion rocks ::	live it out to the fullest!!
When there's no emotion ::	Be depressed as always.
+ Would you rather +
Never feel again ::	Yes.
Feel loneliness or anger for the rest of your life ::	No..
Be happy forever and never experience bad times ::	No..then whats the point of life?
Cause misery ::	To my enemies.
Feel misery ::	No.
Be alone ::	No.
Be with everyone you know ::	Maybe..
+ Who +
Cheers you up more than anyone else ::	Sayna
Angers you more than anyone else ::	Morgan,my dad.
Scares you more than anyone else ::	Dad.
Makes you think about your emotions more than anyone else ::	Eli..
Makes you really care about how they feel and what they think ::	Sayna

Emotions brought to you by BZOINK!

Your soul is bound to the Solitary Rose: The
Alone.

"When I wake up alone, the shades are still
drawn on the cold window pane so they cast
their lines on my bed and lines on my
face."

The Solitary Rose is associated with loneliness,
melancholy, and patience. It is governed by
the goddess Merope and its sign is The Sword,
or Unrequited Love.

As a Solitary Rose, you may be summed up as a
hopeless romantic. You desire love and have so
much love to give, but thing just never seem to
work out the way you want them to. In life,
you can be very optomistic, even when things
are gray and nothing works out to your
expectations.


What Rose Is Your Soul Bound To?
brought to you by Quizilla

No one would really know your name. You would be
called by what you do. For example, if you burn
your victims to death all the time, you would
be known as The Arsonist, or if you knife them,
you would be known as The Slasher. You would be
the mysterious killer who strikes at sporadic
times, and would be very difficult to catch.
You might dress up and mask yourself when you
perform your horrible killings. Your identity
would really be a mystery. Obviously you would
be wanted all over the place, and authorities
would desperately try to capture you. Even if
you were caught, you would not say much. The
public would greatly fear you because you could
just strike unexpectedly.


What Would Your Serial Killer Name Be? What Would the Public Know You As?
brought to you by Quizilla

A GAME-BOY. Youre like a tomboy without the love of
sports. Reality sucks, but as long as you have
your electronics you feel you can cope. Time
goes unnoticed when youre locked in your room
hooked up to your Nintendo, rocking to your
favourite collection of guitar-driven albums.
Your virtues: Intelligence, sense-of-humour,
individuality.
Your flaws: Inability to cope with real life,
action-freak spirit, reclusive nature.



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What kind of girl are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

borderline


Which Personality Disorder Do You Have?
brought to you by Quizilla

Broken Mask
Someone has Broken your heart and it has been
broken many times. You are hurting inside and
you don't know what to do you cry and can't
stop think about who is going to hurt you next.
Please rate my quiz for me thanks and I hope
you had fun


What mask should you wear?(new 19 outcomes with pics)
brought to you by Quizilla
You think about suicide quite a bit. Everything
seems like shit to you and you frikin hate
life. (Just like me. dont worry. ur not
alone.) You have even considered cutting or
taking pills or doing drugs or some shit like
that. But please, dont do any of that. (Don't
start cutting! please! Once u start, its
almost impossible to stop. trust me. please)
You think that sometimes, suicide is the only
way out and you cant take life anymore. but,
dont commit suicide. it wont help anything.
please rate!!! `-)


Are you going to commit suicide? (PLEASE RATE) `-)
brought to you by Quizilla

Youre the Dark Fairy... you hate alot of things and
dont trust anyone people always feel awkward
near you. You are always in the Dark living in
shadows and dispair. (please vote it might make
you feel better) ;
















Which Beautiful Amy Brown Fairy Are You? (with pretty pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

roll it