::
2008 15 April :: 9.35 pm
Spending the weekend in Ohio.
I hope it brings some sort of solution to my madness lately.
Doubt it though.
For the moment, the tears have stopped.
The uncomfortable feeling is still there.
Still burdening me.
I feel.. blah.
1 *gazer* |
*watch the stars fall* |
::
2008 11 April :: 4.24 pm
I sit. I weap. I wipe away tears. It's how I start my day, and how I end it.
I cry at the drop of a hat.
I know I'm an emotional wreck and that I have some emotional issues I keep throwing in the back of my closet. Hoping that someday they will escape through a crack somewhere.
Sadly, I never know what starts these fits of tears and uncertainty.
Especially when everything in my relationship with Mike is great.
I have a job, and I am enrolled in college.
My bills are paid, and I'm slowly getting caught up.
I really have nothing missing.
However, there is a huge hole.
And that hole that keeps attacking me at moments like these, is hurting me.
This uncomfortable feeling it gives me, is hurting me physically.
I am always tired. My body aches. And I can't find a cure..
I've spent the last few weeks doing a spring cleaning of my thoughts.
So far, I feel as though I worn myself weak, and accomplished nothing.
It's like running on a treadmill.
Right now, I would love to burst into tears, and curl up in bed.
But there are too many things I need to get done.
Anyway..
My dad talked to his girly-friend last night on the phone for 2 hours last night, even though she broke their date for last night.
He is so happy, and giddy. And I love seeing him smile.
I have been waiting for this for years.
1 *gazer* |
*watch the stars fall* |
::
2008 8 April :: 4.29 pm
So I am still waiting for that student id number.
I called and left a message with the admissions lady..
Being that it is spring break this week, I highly doubt i will get a response this week.
Anyway to go more indepth about the things my last entry contained..
My dad had a date-ish type evening saturday. I am happy for him, and he's happy, and he smiles a lot too.
I spent time with my mom on saturday. We played cards. It was entertaining.
And lastly, Mike's fish.. We had a power surge, and his fish was fried. He swam all weird and retarded like for a couple moments, and then nothing. It was sad.
But now I must shower. Sandpaper dust does not leave a very attractive odor behind. And let me tell you, I would be so very happy if i never had to see sandpaper again.
2 *gazer*s |
*watch the stars fall* |
::
2008 6 April :: 10.02 pm
A big weekend has just ended..
My dad had a date.
I willingly went to see my mom.
And Mike's fish died..
*watch the stars fall* |
::
2008 2 April :: 6.38 pm
So finally we have 2 running vehicles again.
I am waiting for my student id number so I can register for summer classes.
I just finished cleaning, but I still have some more to do..
But I am running out of ambition.
Tara is moving to Texas.
*watch the stars fall* |
::
2008 26 March :: 4.46 pm
Now I just wait for an answer and the days to pass..
As well as my student ID for MCC so I can register for classes.
Not to mention take the placement test.
They set me up with a time, but I can't do it at that time because I have this thing called work that I must attend so I can bring home a small paycheck at the end of the week! Yippy.
I dread most of it.
*watch the stars fall* |
::
2008 22 March :: 10.19 pm
:: Music: Leona Lewis - Bleeding Love
I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I
I seriously love that song.
Everytime I heard it on the radio, I'd never catch the name of who sings it.
Finally tonight I withdrew from my laziness and found out.
So now I just sit here trying to prepare for tomorrow.
I have some cleaning left to do.
Inside I have a lot to say.
However, I don't feel that this is the place or the time to share any of it..
*watch the stars fall* |
::
2008 15 March :: 12.27 pm
Gotta take the good with the bad..
I got a new phone yesterday.
I hate it. It doesn't do what I want it to do.
So I am going to have them order me the one I really truly want, that they don't carry.
We are getting a new couch today.
Can't get much better than free!
It's in great shape, and its extremely comfortable.
Shannon got laid off yesterday.
Martin told her that she had the "Rachel thing going on".
I laughed.
I filled out an application for admissions at MCC.
I got to the section where I have to fill out what program I want...
And I stopped.
Thought I knew, but now I changed my mind, again.
*watch the stars fall* |
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