alright, so more detail....

Basically, when I came back from Japan I was living with my mom for the time being and didn't really have any friends outside of work.That's when I decided to fill my schedule with nothing but work.

Now, I live on my own and have a girlfriend whom I'd like to see on occasion. I DO get to see her usually twice a week, but she's in school and by the time our friday hangout date rolls around she's so exhausted all she wants to do is sleep. I on the other hand, have been sleeping all week and want to go out.

This week, I got a drunk phone call from her on thursday around 2 in the morning. She was too exhausted to really "hang out" or do whatever yesterday, and now that I have to work until midnight tonight she's going out with all her friends. I mean... I'm not upset that she's going out without me, but she had planted the idea in my head and I thought we were going somewhere other than inside on friday.

but of course she was too tired to really even have a conversation with me.

Also notable, when she goes out... she looks good, and she's fun to dance with. I haven't really had an opportunity to combine those two things at once. Usually she comes over on saturdays anyway, but she's been out and has taken the heels off and only wants to sleep because we both have to work early on sundays.

I feel like this should be the other way around, or at least that's what I've been told my entire life.

I am a glorified body pillow at the moment.

I'm sure this will change in the future as I get a new job hopefully within the next few months, and I'm positive it's not that she doesn't WANT me there, but damnit I'm getting frustrated and I don't know how to quell it.

I wouldn't be so frustrated if I didn't like her so much. She's really bright, I enjoy hanging out with her, tri-lingual, and has an ass that (as I've said before) is claimable on your taxes as a dependent.

What also doesn't help is that my room mates suck and keep me up all night. This has put me on a weird schedule and they are stressing me out, and I"m sick of my job that makes me work only the days I can see anyone outside of work.

I'm moving out in the next month and that's stressing me out as well.

I have finished re-doing the resume I've lost, including recontacting all of the references I've had, and for the most part looking at it I'm not the worst candidate in the "to be" place for my field.

I just feel like I"m getting the raw deal, and I want a break from stress.

advice? how does one be patient and motivated at the same time?

4 *gazer*s | *watch the stars fall*