spud
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2014 29 April :: 1.43pm
turns out i'm a pig....
i never really considered how being friend-zoned basically implies that (assuming the friendzoner is a lady, and the friendzonee is me) it is somehow the fault of the lady for not being into me, as opposed to being my fault for being into her.
as much as it always seems like "i just can't help the way i feel about you," why is it suddenly so bad a thing that she just can't help the way she doesn't feel about me, you know?
don't get me wrong, ladies, i'm still a pathetic romantic with more emotions than i know what to do with. but i'll try better to not hold it against you for not being interested in such a hot mess. not that i blame you in the slightest, and not that i don't feel awful in the rare event that i'm the friendzoner, but there still is some residual subconscious resentment and awkwardness there. and that is wrong.
1 *gazer* |
*watch the stars fall*
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moomoo
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2014 24 April :: 8.50pm
Had a really good job interview today for a doctors office job. They invited me back tomorrow to shadow. I'm hoping this is a good sign. I really want a mon-fri job on 1st shift. Hopefully I get it and its not too much of a pay cut. The honeymoon was great. So much Sun and food. So hard go back to work. Looking forward to the future.
*watch the stars fall*
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spud
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2014 24 April :: 3.17pm
True Facts About Sloths
... but only if the world slowed way the f#!% down
*watch the stars fall*
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moomoo
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2014 16 April :: 7.19pm
So the wedding went great, no problems the whole day. The wedding was so much fun. So nice to see everyone all together family and friends. Had so much fun dancing. I cant wait to see all my wedding pictures. It was so nice of the photographer to set up a shoot in the hall and from what I have seen you cant even tell. Many pictures to come. The honeymoon so was also very nice. So warm, nice, good food, and great time. Now back to work :(
1 *gazer* |
*watch the stars fall*
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skife
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2014 14 April :: 9.48pm
things i should be doing right now:
getting ready for bed
things i'm actually doing right now:
my taxes
Procrastination: Hard work might pay off later, being lazy pays off now.
2 *gazer*s |
*watch the stars fall*
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spud
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2014 4 April :: 4.06am
the more things change, the more they stay the same
*greetings from michigan:
my first lengthy stay away from home has come to a close. i haven't touched any alcohol in two weeks. i still don't know what the hell i'm doing with my life. and i already miss tahoe.*
i'm beginning to remember why i really didn't miss having the internet that much.
i don't need to know about your stupid kid, or what you're having for dinner, or the 10 reasons you belong in house baratheon.
i really don't.
the only time i missed it is when there was some silly piece of trivial knowledge that i couldn't remember, or i had to file an important form, or needed to pay a bill.
that's basically it. maybe watch videos, or steal music from somewhere, since i'm online. download shit to make my laptop work when i invariably fuck it up and delete something i wasn't supposed to.
not spend hours poring through meaningless babble about shit that doesn't really matter, in the lives of people who i haven't seen in years, who are only trying to make themselves look as accomplished and successful and happy as they possibly can. apparently it's working, because what started as mild curiosity - purely for the hell of it - proceeded into nostalgia, and eventually progressed to the inevitable "what have i done with my life?!" there are also a few unfortunates thrown in that (i would assume, in the light of those apparent successes) have resorted to more of a cry for help or attention, because they are at least honest about how much life can suck sometimes, combined with buying into everyone else's bullshit.
the sad part is, it is so enticing still. sure, i don't NEED any of this stuff, but why not enjoy some diversions, right? i'll read the entirety of that blog, just because i can. i guess it was marginally entertaining. enriching my life? no. i suppose, if nothing else, it kept me occupied for three hours. and that's something. maybe. i don't know. depends on what your time is worth. and what you choose to spend it on.
time to be more discerning about what it's spent on, rather than finding ways to burn it.
*watch the stars fall*
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sugarjackj
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2014 14 February :: 2.32am
I feel like a 16 year old girl again. Not the best time in my life...
The same man keeps breaking my heart time and time again.
I can’t help but always be there for him. I am unable to separate myself from him.
And it’s fucking killing me.
I broke up with my past 3 boyfriends. It just wasn’t right. I know this.
But how am I supposed to move on when I gave my whole heart to someone else?
That’s not fair to the men I am dating. And I know that.
What I don’t know is how to make these feelings stop.
Fuck.
After a year and a half of not being with you, you come back into my life and it’s like I’m unable to function. Paralyzed by your presence.
What the hell is my problem.
Why can’t I just leave you and be on my merry way?
I have to do something but am completely at a stand-still.
I would rather have you in my life than not. Even if it’s just as friends. Because after all, you are my greatest friend.
But emotionally I am a shit show because of it.
2 *gazer*s |
*watch the stars fall*
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