godessalthena
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2015 6 January :: 7.47am
:: Mood: cynical
sometimes, I just need to hear I'm not worthless.
and yet no one seems to be able to say it when I really need it.
I just want to feel like I'm not an insignificant speck of shit on a cold planet hurtling through a vast empty cosmos.
but that's all I am. and that's all I'll ever be, and it hurts.
there is no such thing as love, or happiness, or futures, or magic, or faeries. there's just a supermassive black hole slowly eating anything and everything that it touches. I can see it as it pulls me in, and I am completely powerless to stop it.
"And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you."
- Friedrich Nietzsche
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godessalthena
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2015 5 January :: 6.10am
another Monday. finals week starts tomorrow. but at least the stupid holiday season is over!!
it's my moms birthday today. I made her a hat. she hates her birthday, but hopefully this year is bearable!
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goodbye
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2015 1 January :: 10.36pm
Time is so arbitrary.
Aging is not. Meat rocketships don't last forever. Fuck.
5 brave words |
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godessalthena
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2015 1 January :: 9.31am
this year, over all, sucked. but there were a few good parts. a lot of healing and growing.
hopefully this year will be better. and doesn't fly by.
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catatonicsean
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2014 30 December :: 11.27pm
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catatonicsean
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2014 29 December :: 5.49pm
:: Music: Crude SS - Respect the Earth
At the local Chinese restaurant for an post-arbeit snack with wifey.
This isn't Facebook, but I figured a few photos from time to time wouldn't hurt anything, since finding a moment to bitch and moan about how awful things are is rather time consuming.
At the Mid-Pinellas Comic Con with my Little Family
Yet another fucking wedding day photo.
I am pleased with how life has turned out this year.
3 brave words |
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godessalthena
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2014 28 December :: 8.27pm
so many things about now. I don't even know where to start..
what exactly is "living" at 26?
1 brave word |
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godessalthena
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2014 20 December :: 1.53pm
can I just go crawl in a hole and die? maybe in a whole where other disgusting filthy stupid losers have died before? that'd be great...
2 brave words |
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godessalthena
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2014 20 December :: 7.43am
South Park, on my second bowl, made Alfredo. not even 8 yet.
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godessalthena
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2014 19 December :: 6.13pm
this week fucking sucked. outside of the awesome gift I got! I'm just really fucking bummed out and sad and feeling like a disgusting failure. a total joke.
what the fuck am I doing.
why?
just fucking why.
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godessalthena
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2014 19 December :: 5.39pm
I was going to do an actual update.. but then I played with bitchelle until my fingers hurt and I feel a lil better.. so I'll save the update for later
2 brave words |
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godessalthena
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2014 17 December :: 6.57am
I feel like shit today. like that feeling were you are right on the edge of nausea.
I just want to go home a cuddle with my puppies.
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spud
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2014 16 December :: 5.26pm
:: Music: foo fighters - sonic highways
I CAN HAS COMPUTER?
so, i'm thinking i want to build a pc.
i've been studying up on stuff, and it seems simple enough.
that being said, the selection of parts available is pretty overwhelming, so any input or suggestions are welcome and appreciated.
this is not a gaming pc, as i'm not a gamer. i would be using it for interwebs and itunes, primarily. normal home computering stuff. about the only thing i might consider doing with it that would demand higher performance is digital audio recording, and even then, that wouldn't really be too strenuous.
i want it to last me a while, so upgradeability is a consideration. if i can get away with replacing a couple components in the future, as things become obsolete, i would much rather do that than replace the whole thing. i don't want to spend top dollar on the absolute latest and greatest shit, because frankly i don't need it, and would be pissed off in a couple years when it becomes dirt cheap. but i also don't want to totally cheap out and get junk. there has to be a happy medium in there somewhere.
i'm thinking an APU makes sense, so i don't have to get a separate video card. i'll probably go with an amd processor, since i don't want to pay intel prices for something with comparable performance.
i like the idea of getting an SSD for the OS, and then having a separate HDD for cheap storage.
i know absolutely dick about motherboards, other than they need to be compatible with the processor, and accommodate whatever crap you're adding on.
RAM: 8GB should be plenty, yes? not sure how much speed i would want. probably just match to the top end of whatever motherboard i wind up with?
PSU: i know it's important. ummm, modular? wattages? i have no idea. again, i'm not gaming, so it shouldn't draw too much juice. just something solid to get the job done.
i'm not overly concerned about peripherals. i'm sure i'll be able to piecemeal that stuff together.
i'm thinking i could get a secondhand case pretty easily. i don't give two fucks what it looks like. just as long as it has enough space for everything, and enough airflow to keep things cool. maybe i'm wrong on this, but it just seems like the easiest place to cut costs. also, fans?
i am planning on going with windows. i'm on XP right now, but support has ended. have i mentioned my laptop is gonna be 10 this year? i didn't like vista at all. 7 was good. i haven't used 8 or 8.1 yet. traditionally, it seems like every other version is good, while the alternates suck a bag of donkey dick. so, that would mean 8 was all shitty, but 8.1 is probably okay? i don't know. this is why i'm asking. if they both suck, i'm okay with just putting 7 on it. not sure where to get a product key on the cheap, but i don't really want to pirate a bogus one. meh.
so, that's where i'm at.
thoughts? feelings? PLZ HALP.
8 brave words |
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godessalthena
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2014 13 December :: 8.19am
we have to call in some heart investigative team
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godessalthena
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2014 12 December :: 6.22pm
today was an extremely (emotionally) shitty fucking day.
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