Unknown Alice.

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:: 2014 19 September :: 9.47pm

I'm at a house party.

fuck this.

I feel like everyone is 12

:: 2014 17 September :: 9.16pm
:: Mood: optimistic

goals for the week:
1.) go to gym at least for one day
2.) get coloring materials
3.) finish Aimee's gift
4.) get shelves from parental units
5.) start on wind spirit picture
6.) start Alexz's jelly fish or toothless

seems like a lot!! but I know I can do it! feeling pretty good after that session with the dr. probably one of the most productive yet!

:: 2014 17 September :: 10.08am

listened to the song "hey man nice shot" by filter.

looked up the meaning.

read about budd dwyer.

watched him give his final speech.

watching him shoot himself in the mouth.

death is such a hard thing to wrap my head around.

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:: 2014 15 September :: 1.54pm
:: Mood: cheerful
:: Music: Darkthrone - I Am the Graves of the 80's

Awoke this morning married and tattooed.

Happy Moon's Day, everyone.

:: 2014 13 September :: 11.49pm

I feel like such a copy cat. a fraud. is this really me? but I love who I am. and I hate how a lot of people make me feel. I know I should care what these strangers think, but knowing it and actually believing it are two different things.

do people only wear addidas because they want to be original? or is that some other shoe brand? that's my point - who fucking knows/cares?

aside from this, the fair was absolutely amazing <3 it was such a beautiful night, with lovely Alexz, and much vegging after. it was truly the best incarnation of the fair experience. we even went in the black hole. that was so trippy!!

I'll post some pictures soon

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:: 2014 13 September :: 3.10am

people throw that word around as if it means nothing.

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:: 2014 12 September :: 2.22am
:: Mood: awake
:: Music: Beethoven - 9th Symphony (4th Movement)

In twelve hours I take the plunge, and I feel no apprehension.

Liz is the woman I love, and her son will be my son (legally speaking), and we have what it takes to make this work. I've heard horror stories from my married peers since I broached the subject many moons ago, and heard tales of "This was the love that poets would write about..." and so on, but they lacked anything of substance once I probed deeper into their personal inner workings.

For her I work, and live and die, if need be. In turn, she will do likewise.

And haste had nothing to do with it. Once your intuition says "This is your path," you act, or you hesitate, thus masturbate. I'm done with masturbation; the exception being long spans of time that need filling.

She is my soulmate. Careful study and objective reasoning have even led to this conclusion.

Friday afternoon, we will be legally joined in the way we were before, except now paperwork says that our union is legit. I hope all mortals, in one way or another, find what I have. I know what it means to be a Lonely Soul, and the Christian Hell pales in comparison.

May Fortune Smile Upon All of YOU!

Dear Woohu friends, I love you all. I won't ask you to wish me well, because it's an empty request, and in truth, it's up to Liz and I to sort it out....so instead, I say May All Your Days Be Less Shit Than the Shit Days Which Befell You Before.

May all the Gods smile upon you, and may your futures be filled with gold and good sex.

Mahalo,

--Sean

goodbye

:: 2014 10 September :: 1.39am

I can't help it. My heart is my heart. It doesn't listen to my mind.

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:: 2014 10 September :: 12.15am
:: Mood: sleepy
:: Music: Isengard - Storm of Evil

Getting married Friday.

Five day weekend.

Hip hip hooray.

:: 2014 8 September :: 10.57am

trip to Montana: EPIC
best trip by far in recent memory. we did so much awesome it is hard to remember all of it!!
(this pasta I made is by far the best box pasta batch yet. that it I'm just really high and hungry haha)
also: sober the while trip. had a total of 3 beers, 1 cocktail and one glass of wine over the span of 4 days. it was really awesome.
only bad part was the nightmares, but that wasn't the fault of the trip.

sooooo much wildlife was viewed!! animals include, but not limited to: pelicans, a belted kingfisher, mountain chickadees, Clark's nutcracker, mergansers, griebs, great blue heron, a shrike, a kestral, osprey, hawks, big horn sheep and antelope. I had binoculars on my face for half the trip! I found a rabbits foot, Zuzu found the rest of the rabbit, some deer bones.

got a flat tire on the way and almost crashed into the wall! got our tire fixed in Kellogg, the trooper put on our spare. had a drink at the Broken Wheel Tavern while waiting for all the tires to be changed (so glad we didn't take my car!!).

went to the Charlie Russell museum as well as the historical center. the museum was HUGE, filled with the most amazing works of art, artifacts, taxidermy.. it was just fantastic. it even had his herst there. I highly recommend it if you are ever in great falls. we went to the big springs too, which were breathtaking. the worlds largest spring and shortest river haha

I got some spectacular souveigeers. it was so fun to go thrifting with aunt linda! she's so adorable, just like my mom!! I love her so much <3 hehe

and lunch with aunt kris was really wonderful too! I can't remember the last time get and I sat down and connected so much. it was nice to see Hamilton again, and all the old memories there. next time we go we are going to go to grandpas boat launch and have a beer for him. I'm really excited to go again!!

I'm so so happy I got to go. I'm so grateful my parents helps us find the trip! it was magical.

[note: this is not the trip in it's entirety, if you would like a full synopsis, I can tell you on a more in person basis :) ]

:: 2014 7 September :: 8.11pm

I always have had fantasizes of meeting someone who leaves a strong (& true) impression of " this is a good person".

I know they exist.. now we just have to wait.

:: 2014 6 September :: 7.06am

I've had nothing but nightmares since I got here.

I'm sad. these dreams all make me feel so wildly inadequate.

goodbye

:: 2014 3 September :: 8.56pm

I think Autumn is my favorite season. Carving pumpkins, drinking cider, baking pies, wearing hoodies, seeing the leaves change color, costume parties, turkey dinners... I can't wait! I'll start with the fair on Friday!!

:: 2014 3 September :: 1.30am
:: Mood: pleased
:: Music: Bal-Sagoth - A Black Moon Broods Over Lemuria

Lovey bought me a quarter pound of damiana, and it has virtually assuaged depression and quotidian misery.

Baby has gone to stay with his grandparents until we've solved our money issues, and he is terribly missed. Saturday mornings will forego cartoons and such, but I know he'll be back soon once things have sorted themselves out. We still visit the little man every weekend, and every other opportunity, but he is sorely missed.

Had the best sex last night. I was unaware that women excrete a variety of mucus from their vagina after orgasm. I actually had to bathe afterward; unusual, since I typically don't, and spend my days at work smelling of fermenting pussy.

Despite a few minor grown-up problems, everything seems fine and dandy like sour candy, and for once in my wretched life I feel something in the semblance of "optimism."

I thrive on chaos.

Speaking of: I invited my ladylove to my bachelor party. Imagine how that turned out. She donned her elf ears and green anime contacts, and I was resplendent in my Victorian gentleman's garb and such. There was drama, but I anticipated it, and had a merry time regardless.

Things are peachy.