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bleedingsun
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2006 12 February :: 11.34am
:: Music: At the Drive-in - in/CASINO/OUT
Esophagus Roller-Coaster Derailed
The drummer in my ear is a slow monotonous ache beating his rhythm to that of my pulse. If I swallow, cough, or even breathe, it feels like lawn furniture is being shoved down my throat. Also, I have recently learned that my nostrils once contained tiny dams that kept all the fluids in my body in their proper places and off of my top lip. I no longer have these tiny dams. As a result of this, my waste-basket and the floor around it has become haunted with a thousand little ghosts. A thousand slimy, sticky, and gooey little ghosts.
I haven't gotten any better since I left school after second hour on Thursday, but I have to make it through the next three days. I have to make up all the tests I've missed, (so far I've been told of four). I have no idea how I'll pass any of them.
I need to find out what assignments I've missed so I can start doing them right now. If anyone is in American Literature with Dolbee, could you please tell me what she assigned on Friday? I'd greatly appreciate it.
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2006 11 February :: 11.34pm
Shake that laffy taffy!
Swirl was fun. I'm glad I went, but my feet are in agonizing pain right now.
"I get fast really ready."
"This sad is so song."
I could not talk today..
[Oh, and pictures from Swirl and Spring Hill are soon to come]
Night ya'll.
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2006 9 February :: 7.39pm
Every line makes me cry, 'cause every word was a lie.
There I go again, reading old journal entries.
I don't suggest doing that.
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2006 6 February :: 9.18pm
THE PLAY.
What an awesome night.
The show went great. I am so proud of everyone. You guys are all amazing, seriously. For the amount of time we had to do this and all the stress we all went through.. I just can't believe we pulled it together. But, we did and I am so happy.
Yeah, I messed up a line. I was completely beating myself up over it. But, ya know what? For having a two page monolgoue and only messing up one line, I should be thankful. And when a few other people sort've messed up like I did, I didn't care and it didn't stick out in my mind. It was just normal and ok, so that helped me a lot. Some people said they noticed, but I picked it up so fast that it didn't matter. Others completely didn't notice, so whatever.
After the show a lady came up to me and told me that my scene made her cry and it was one of her favorites. That made me so happy.
Thanks for all the other compliments as well. Whoever showed up to support me/us: thanks. [Thank you Matt and Jake for coming. It's good to see some old friends]
One more night. I hope I don't mess up that line again, haha.
Oh, and H apologized and said that he was very proud of me. So, that helped.
I am good now. And not to sound full of myself in any way, but I am proud of myself, because from the start I didn't think I could do this. I didn't think I could memorize more than a line. I didn't think I could get up in front of all those people being only a few feet away.
But, I did.
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fishyrere
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2006 5 February :: 8.31pm
Woohu
coming to this site... it brings up painful memories. theres no reason for them they just are. like this journal is the part of my past that hurts so bad to think about but i don't want to let go. everything about this place is dark and lonely and sad. i mean even the name of my site "have you ever said good bye to a hero?" is depressing. yet time after time i come back reliving everything i've worked so hard to forget: my stupid emo freshman self. there are some memories i just don't want to remember but this site makes me relive them. there are some feelings i've worked so hard to surpress but this site makes me feel them strongly. there are some people who it hurts to remember both physically and emotionally but at this site they come rushing back into my life as if they never left. and i'm back to being emo and stupid and freshman. this site makes me revert. and i don't know if i like that. but i don't know if i'm ready to let go. espcially the people. especially that one person.
~Re~
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2006 5 February :: 6.05pm
:: Music: Cliff Ritchey
Arbitrary!
Something that struck me as interesting was when my group leader from Spring Hill came up to me and told me she was impressed with how well I knew myself. She said that it was awesome, because most girls have no idea and can't answer those kind of questions that fast. And I am going in the right direction. It made me realize how much I really do think and how much I pick myself apart. I was asked what the three things I would change about myself were. I said unmotivation, being too dependent on other people, and how I am always mad about something/can't relax. Another question was what my biggest fear was and I said making the wrong choices. We were also asked what truth was. When you think about that, it's actually extremely hard to answer. I think there's only one kind of truth and those are solid facts. But, the truth we live by isn't always true, because solid truth is lost. People choose their own truths (even though logic is ruled out). Everything is turned into something else. I don't know, it's hard to explain. We talked about other things as well, but I won't bother boring you any longer.
I know none of this matters to you. She just made me see something in myself. I know exactly who I am and that's comforting, because no one else does and I didn't think I knew either.
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2006 5 February :: 3.40pm
:: Music: Cliff Ritchey
Get dressed.
Spring Hill was awesome. I actually had a lot of fun. I'm glad I went now, because I wasn't excited about it for a long time.
The band, Cliff Ritchey, was amazing. I don't really care for Christian music, but they were really good. And the lead singer (Cliff) is honestly the cutest man I have ever seen in my life. I'm pretty much in love with him, haha. I think I liked him so much, because he looked a lot like young Bob Dylan and his voice even resembled him somewhat. And the guitarist was the hottest Asian I have ever laid eyes on.
Wow. I am such a girl, lol.
Anyway, I'm happy I decided to go. I think I'll go again, but I'd rather go in the summer if I do. I'm not exactly a winter person.
Well, tomorrow night is the first night of our play. Wish us luck.
Time to shower, eat, and sleep.
Edit>> Oh my God. I was just reading Cliff's journal from his website and he talks about Bob Dylan all of the time. Man, I am good. I wish he wasn't married now though, because he's the closest I could ever get to a young Bob Dylan. Hahaha. Awe man...that's pure dissapointment right there.
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2006 1 February :: 3.12pm
ADVANCED DRAMA PLAY
Feb. 6-7th (That's NEXT Monday and Tuesday, bitches)
$5
Starts at S E V E N ! PM.
Be there or be killed with a square.
[Pass this on, everyone]
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2006 31 January :: 5.40pm
:: Music: Damien Rice
I hate MySpace. It sucks.
And so does Xanga.
I don't want to get into why, because if I start this entry could end up being entirely too long.
I love Woohu, because Woohu doesn't suck.
That's all.
Edit>> I can't wait for Swirl now. It's just the girls, and as much as I like having a date, it's usually more fun just hanging out with a buncha crazy girls. And oh my God, the dress I am borrowing is gorgeous. I tried it on and now I am really happy. I love it. It's the first dress I've actually felt pretty in. Like, ever. Oh, I am so excited! :)
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2006 27 January :: 7.01pm
Stacy: Oh my God, my forehead itches like a bitch.
Josh: Oh Christ, my balls itch.
We seriously both said that at the same exact time.
It was fucking scary.
[Hahahahahaahaha]
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2006 27 January :: 1.41pm
:: Music: Elliott Smith
No school for me today, biotches.
I had an eye appointment at 10am, so I figured why even go.
I got new glasses, because my other ones broke in half! I was sad, but the new ones are basically the same exact style. The only difference is they're brown on the outside instead of black, and some sort of greenish/yellow color on the inside instead of red. I like them better than my older ones.
I am still not a glasses person. Ick.
My grandma bought me a $6 chocolate covered strawberry from Godiva. I thought it was quite ridiculous, but she insisted. And I'll tell you what...it was the best damn chocolate covered strawberry I've ever had. And the only. Mmmm.
Anyway, I am bored off my feet. I hope someone wants to hang out tonight. And by hang out I don't mean go back to school and waste money on a lame basketball game.
Edit>> Oh, and new layouts for all three journals!! Exciting, eh?
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2006 26 January :: 9.20pm
Hahaha.
Ahh, fuck you! You're grounded!
What for?
Because you don't think that the garbage disposal sounds like chewbaca taking a shit! That's why. Now go to your room!
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2006 24 January :: 6.42am
:: Music: Taking Back Sunday
Tagged! haHaHA. So funny. Not, bitch.
I am so sick of this "tagging" bullshit.
Stop for Christs sake!
It's not like when someone leaves a lame ass comment about how you got "tagged" there is some uncontrollable force making you leave this comment in about ten thousand other journals, because the fucking comment says you must.
Guess what? You don't have to do anything a comment tells you to do, ever! Even if it says you'll die if you don't pass it on, you won't. I mean you may die, but not because you didn't send some bullshit to ten thousand other people. Unless someone is pointing a gun to your head, threatening to set your house ablaze, or killing your puppy you're perfectly fine not passing it on.
Ugghhh.
/end rant
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2006 23 January :: 4.26pm
"Irony"
So, after school we're bringing Erika home and we're having this conversation about how it's stupid when people mess around while they're driving and blah, blah. etc. So we drop her off then Dustin decides to try and "miss the pot holes" (in other words, fuck around). So, while missing these pot holes we go straight into the dtich, after swirving for a little bit. And it's not like we just went into the ditch. We full on ended up completely facing the opposite direction from when we started. If there would have been a tree [which there was like 10 feet away] I'd pry be hurt right now or dead (D E D).
You know Dustin...he has to do everything with style, lol.
So, yeah.. I'm home now and not really looking forward to any more rides with my good ole bro. Just playing.. *shifts eyes*
Thanks for the help, Joey.
Other than sitting in a snow bank for an hour my day was good.
My crush on Mr.Young is clearly not a crush anymore. It's true love, baby.
And Mr.Hazel still can't stay on task.
Sweet.
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2006 22 January :: 7.23pm
:: Music: Tom Petty
Can I have your tonsils?
This weekend was really good, beside getting made fun of for sounding like a little boy who just hit puberty. Ah well, I'll be a good sport and admit that it was funny.
Saturday night Lisa picked me up and we headed down to Skelles, excuse me, "The Euclid" *rolls eyes* and Devin was there, luckily. I think he was really happy and surprised to see us 'cause we didn't plan on hanging out. Anyway, Dani met us there, then we all headed to Big Nasty's house. Have I mentioned that I fucking love Big Nasty before? Well just in case I haven't.. I LOVE BIG NASTY. All right, anyway.. we hung out there for a while then went to Jimi's and Torrell's house to chill. After that we just drove around until like 4am then crashed at Lisa's for the night. After sleeping in until around 1pm we decided to head down town again. We as in Lisa, Devin, and I. Dani headed home early to sleep for the day. Yeah, so today was a lot of fun too. Overall the weekend was just awesome. I love my friends. I really do. [Ashley: I can't wait until you can join us again. We miss you!]
He is just so great. I'm so comfortable around him. I could see us becoming great friends and him being an important part of my life. He really cares about me. And I can't wait for him to see that I care as well.
Spring Hill is pretty soon. I guess I'm excited, but not really.
The [Advanced Drama] play is soon as well. I'm so nervous about it, yet very excited at the same time. Please go. It's going to be awesome if we get our shit together. And for once I have more than one line. I have two damn pages all to myself.
Anyway, I have tons of things to say, but you've heard it all before and it's all over thought bullshit that I don't need to ramble on about. So yeah, tomorrow starts a new semester. Yay.
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