:: 2004 15 September :: 3.52 pm

beginnings:
keesha - may 01
rosewen - late jan 02
zvekh - march 8 02
horace - late march/early april 02
rek - june 02
suzy - sept 02
arron - october 02
mitsene char design - april 03
constance - april 03
mantra - early august 03
kenni - early august 03
daishou - oct 03
beatrice - dec 03/january 04
serconie - late march 04
jaeger - april 04
kip - april 04
makaret - may 04
subira - june 04
echo - july 15 04
lazeyka - late july 04
veratrix - early september 04
--------------------------------
keesha's death/removal - sept 02
keesha reinstated - july 03
zvekh reinstated [after unknown fade out] - july 04
rosewen's death - late june 04
echo's death - july 18 04

--

:: 2004 14 September :: 10.23 pm

in the point of life where a member of the tribes of bedait and yasait becomes 'mature', they are set on sail-about. for anywhere from a few months to several years to, in the rarest forms, even decades, a young member of the tribe [who, by now, has by far mastered every aspect of sailing] is made to set out on a journey to find him/herself. the purpose of this is to keep the tribe members loyal to the group, and to satisfy the curiousity and desire of any youth to travel. the members who do not return, those who are not loyal enough, have made the choice not to continue life in the tribe, for whatever reason of their own. the actual choice of any to never return is rarer than even exiles.

--

:: 2004 14 September :: 10.03 pm

castle herz - a castle-like structure mounted on a large island off of old hroneim. it is early hronic in origin, and one of the oldest structures known [even rumored to be built as a tribute to constance, before she showed herself to the dragons]. constance has resided there on and off since it was built, sometimes for decades at a time. due to her wanton ability to distort reality, she's been able to nonchalantly keep the castle from aging too much. time seems not to touch it. and indeed, it is in a void of time; anyone who ventures in does not age in the time they spend there. also, there is a slight mist which surrounds the area at most times -- and almost always the illusion of night. daytime rarely touches the castle; night comes, the sunrises, and within an hour, it sets. constance's toying with the hours of this area has skewed perception. obviously, having someone wander into the castle would be quite a trip -- and not a good thing, either. thus, horace has been almost arbitrarily set as the guard to the gates. there is only one set of large gates that are able to be seen from the outside in the entirety of the wall that surrounds the castle; however, there are several smaller, hidden doors that can be seen from the inside, and somehow lazeyka has managed to obtain the keys for these. there is a large library within the castle, as well as an extensive dungeon and several parapets.
similarly, in the wooded northeastern tefed, there is a structure that echoes the architecture and timelessness of castle herz. it is much smaller, yet just as hard to find. constance does not reside here as much, but suzy has claimed it as hers, and beatrice uses it as a sort of repreive from the forest from time to time. [bea has said once that this structure is seemingly noardish in construction; though to the untrained eye it might seem as such, it is truthfully hronic in construction. after their discovery of the hronic ruins, the noardols borrowed heavily from the discovered architecture, and this influence exists in noardish workings to this day.]

--

:: 2004 14 September :: 8.49 pm
:: Music: lostprophets - sway

--

:: 2004 12 September :: 1.27 am

i am nothing subira is heard to echo over and over again

but the rest of us, even constance, a bit, say, yet we still feel like something.

--

:: 2004 12 September :: 1.18 am

rek speaks quietly to lazeyka over the gate wall. there are small keys hidden everywhere, within and without reach. subira is behind lazeyka, in the distance, deeper within the gates. on rek's side, veratrix leans against the wall.... touches it gently. she is patient. she knows that perhaps someday, she may well get inside the gates -- and, possibly, the castle as well.

opening hidden doors everywhere. the contrast between ekaterina's fear and jaeger's careless hatred is... almost startling.

subira just smiles subtly when arron says, '..but i never expected things to be like this....'

--

:: 2004 10 September :: 9.21 pm

strings, keys, gates, torches, blindfolds, stars, suspenders, dog.

as tired
as muted
as choking

--

:: 2004 10 September :: 12.30 am

Things You Might Not Know:
-jaeger actually has a big butt.
-subira's ears are just proportionately large, slightly turned, overly floofy lionking-ish ears. um. yeah.
fuck.
RUSHRUSHRUSH. ²'s still putting this all in overdrive. over. drive. it's almost ridiculous, but anyway.
the influence of [what we would call] indian-ish culture/clothing on subira seems.. prominent. and.... tribes. black ohutzl male. possibly with light hair, most likely tied to veratrix somehow. she.... it seemed, at first, was more of a vehicle behind beatrice's personality, but she's herself, still; really has always been.
hasn't spoken yet. she's usually not this quiet; blaming it on subira...

2 nones | --

:: 2004 9 September :: 12.15 am

among the ohutzl tribe, the saildancing family is highly regarded, highly respected, and very hard to get into. there is no acceptance into the family of any member of the tribe except through marriage [even adoption]. there is a test of talent and ability before any marriage takes place, however, and if the prospective member does not pass, he cannot become part of the family. this ensures that the best dancers in the tribe stay in, and almost always come from, the hfupetlantapl family. if a member of the family still wishes to marry someone who did not pass the test, they can, but they will be no longer allowed to saildance.
because of this selective breeding, as it were, there is also a sort of genetic abberation which occurs now and then to the family -- webbed feet and/or hands. these are not looked down upon within the tribe; if anything, they are envied, for they better the swimming ability of the webbed person.
veratrix is a slight prodigy; she has webbed feet and hands, she is the youngest person ever to reach head saildancer, and has been rumored to be the best saildancer the tribe has ever seen. this may or may not be true... veratrix loves her tribe, more than saildancing [for which she has a strong passion], and if the choice was given to her, she would exile herself from the family if it ensured the safety of the tribe.
this, of course, has had a profound effect upon beatrice. bea, though nearly a prodigy herself merely for being in the hfupetlantapl family, felt she would never measure up to her sister in the area of saildancing. she was always following in her shadow, her footsteps -- being compared to by her family, etc. this grew past saildancing into most everything in everyday life. veratrix was outgoing in comparison, talked much more, while beatrice liked to keep to herself and would rather be practicing dancing than spend too much time with the tribe. this did not mean, however, that beatrice disliked her clan. the love veratrix had for her tribe also rubbed off on bea; this wasn't so hard, though, because most members have a strong feeling of kinship, which was especially strong for the ohutzl tribe because of its relative isolation on yasait. the proof that beatrice was as willing to sacrifice herself for the tribe as veratrix was came when she accidentally discovered the plan the foreign traders had for exploiting the tribe and island. still, being rash and stubborn instead of calm like her sister, beatrice acted unwisely; and for the deaths she had caused, she was exiled.

--

:: 2004 7 September :: 11.07 pm

² is screaming.
² is screaming so fucking loud.

i am nothing! [gasping for air] OH CHRIST! [shrinking, cowering, ashamed]
all this time that i've been trying... all this time that i've been trying.... all this time that i've been trying... sacrificing my health and social duties and education and family... so i can get better. better than the only source i've ever seen. but i'm not. fucking.... i can't. i can't do this. [subira's chained and muted now]
i'm so.......
this is.....
e...
i
feirce
worthless
unintelligent bottom-level
waste of life waste of time
[it's the skill it's the creativity it's the speed it's the popularity it's the intelligence
it's the being worth something]

THE FUCKING BEING EVERYTHING I'M NOT AND WILL NEVER BE.

--

:: 2004 7 September :: 11.12 am

black:white
yellow:purple
orange:blue
night:day
moon:sun
yin:yang
male:female
light:darkness
lazeyka:constance.

--

:: 2004 6 September :: 11.40 pm

lazeyka's taken over the let-out.

i don't hate you. beatrice hates you, jaeger hates you. but this mitsene thing that covers everything, it doesn't hate you. it can't hate. it doesn't do anything. this body? this narrative? this creator? well, in truth, the creator of constance, and constance alone. once she was born [though not to true form til much later] creation of extensions was her duty alone. and it still is. and she governs and hints things we don't get until it's too late. but still.... the sky can't feel. it can defend, protect, restrain, mute, deafen, sheild, suppress, and support. nearly voiceless.
a voice in a void, covering so many.

--

:: 2004 6 September :: 10.18 pm

lazeyka has a number of keys, of which only he knows the whereabouts at all times, whether on him or not, that are used to open small hidden doors in the gate wall. and the irony is, of course, that the padlocks on his wrist-braces arm-cloths do not have keys, and if they do, they are lost and not one in his possession.
[it's also quite possible that constance has some of these keys; there is a rumor she has melted them down and incorporated them into useless gears inside her broken pocketwatch.]
the wrist-cloths themselves, tied on with thin, rope-like chains and always giving the illusion of the extension of arm into wrist [as in, no difference between arm and hand], are out of his control; they fall off when he is in tierform. in the period of sleep he must take to change from tierform back into human-anthro, the chains and wrist-cloths are usually tied back onto him by rek. there are times when she can't find either him or the wrist-cloths, or when she isn't aware he's in tierform; and in these instances, he is bound to do more...

--

:: 2004 6 September :: 1.17 am

the immobility of subira, once she gets settled and fixed on staying in one place without moving for a long period of time, has, from time to time, piqued the curiousity of local indiginous peoples... in one instance, the continuance of her being in one spot for generations brought about a veneration; the peoples worshiped her as a sort of goddess. when she finally moved, after many decades of rarely even blinking, she moved about the tribespeople as one of them... and spoke only in song.

--

:: 2004 5 September :: 9.06 pm

and it's hard to accumulate the paranoia.....


hm.

these ones aren't revamped; this is just the documentation of change.

strange influence; the forcing of daishou to be on guard for that long has brought forth a new prejudice of jaeger. the theories of beatrice don't help much to contradict this; and every day it seems suzy is just the product of the opposite of her birth -- these values in her aren't strong enough. she talks about things and... they just seem ... unfitting. too noardish for a tefedian to be saying.
jump to conclusions.... a simple desicion on subira's part and this world could be so much different.

--

:: 2004 4 September :: 9.17 pm

she coughs as her face gets pushed closer to the concrete floor. the blood drips from her own mouth, and she mutters to herself, 'fuck. i didn't know that fucker could fight.'

--

:: 2004 4 September :: 7.34 pm

a sort of... immense loathing. goes lax and veratrix comes in. older and in reign and she talks like her sister. except instead of muttering to herself, there's exchanges with outside influences. this is letting the echoes in and making them part of something else.

suddenly, everything has changed. distant, arron stands there. the door is still open and the light from the hallway falls in around his silhouette. it lands on the small plant that echo used to take care of. used to love before she stopped being herself. before she lost her life. there is the darkness that feels so immediate, and the yellow the light around him that feels so distant. his back to it, and he can see the shadow, immediate, before him. but they're both embracing him, and there's no denying that. he lives behind inside and he lives moving ahead outside of himself.

--

:: 2004 3 September :: 2.19 pm

and even arron now, he's pausing in his steps, no longer going forward. the dreamscaper drags him back. keeps going back. and suddenly, here we are, facing lazeyka in the scaper's shroud, facing backwards.
each day shall end as it begins.

--

:: 2004 1 September :: 4.55 pm

sucking the blood, first victim, red moon, a dead black dove.

sun + moon repetition. ²'s learning tricks to use against this. there's also the ignorance, the subira, the shadowing; rek's quietness today. lazeyka is not truth itself, nor the definition thereof. he is the vehicle, so to speak; moreso likely even, it is his [only] mission.

veratrix keeps her distance, the same distance makaret, kip, enck, sehale, echo keep. their existance can't be denied, they can't be forced out of the lower gates. however, they'll never make it into the castle. they stay secondary.

veratrix - beatrice's older sister; more traditional.. same values, except less prominent, and less likely to act out. sails. the reversal of noardish values.... wants to help the noardish go back to pre-civilizational times, or at least values and organization. more sociable, if only for her tribe. etcetc.

--

:: 2004 30 August :: 11.59 am

i'm wasted
wasting
deceptive appearances
and the past
is back
reverse + forwards
reverse algorithms

a broken voice
without a choice
steps away
into the fray
masking make-up
over sheltered growings up.

and i have no dead.

always
with
the wrong
answers.


and right now, rek's succeeding without putting zvekh's life on the line. she's begging arron, please don't run this time. we're making it work. he won't let anything happen. i won't let him make anything happen. and she says this, half beleiving it. oh, something probably will. lazeyka knows. it's regrettable. yes, it would be easier to shut off zvekh, rosewen, anyone who brings that virus around.

--