::
2004 21 January :: 10.55 am
beatrice
i do think she can be hypocritical. claiming to live in self sufficiency and then clambering out of the wilderness come winter.
well, the cold season of north tefed is quite harsh... and she has been known to head back to her hideaway even when snowstorms are said to be a-comin'.
either way there is no excuse for her long dark coats which contrast oh too greatly with the rest of her attire... but do succeed in making her 'fit in' with the city once she visits.
and, of course, suzy takes her in on any whim, whenever she returns. the bond between the two is somewhat strange; although their opinions about society [noardol in particular] differs in what should be done, the idea that the noardish are backward and killing the planet is something they both agree on quite seriously.
the residents of noardol don't think too much about the planet. what is there to think about? it is the ground.
the country of tefed is actually less country than land with an accumulated number of tribes. there is no actual systematic government in power ruling the entire country; the individual tribes learned to live with one another centuries ago. it is the coming of cities and noardish ideas which threatens this land. ones who leave their tribes threaten the balance. the only resolve to certain areas is the relocation of entire tribes to cities, which, needless to say, occurs less frequent than there are ruins in heittjard. [which is not a lot.]
there are, of course, tribes which lived in the area from which the cities grew, and it is these tribes who decided it was their duty to oversee the goingsabout of the city in its growth and evolution. the tefedians beleive that anything that is self-creating is alive, and although in some senses the city created itself-- it drew residents to its limits and challenged them to build it-- it is nonetheless incapable of caring for itself, and/or keeping itself in check and not harmful to the planet; and this is where the tefedic tribes of this area come in.
who rips clothes, and who repairs them? who dirties dishes, and who cleans them? who takes this for granted, and who is always aware of unwarranted sacrifice?
-- |
::
2004 20 January :: 12.54 pm
you know, for most computers, pressing backspace equates erasing a letter, not going back one page, you dumbass iE.
ass.
i think rek is making me sick. so studious, i am, so obedient; all that must be done is done and done well. today is a constance day... and realizations come to sutziy ever and anon as long as we are aware there is something besides descartes in the world.
and if only daishou weren't so tidy.
landfall. the south's past has yet to make itself known.. especially any tribes living on the ice.
also kyuuriku is larger than i remember.... alas. dunghoi is such a cold sea dragon. cut off from any warmth. what can a heatless lizard do but die slowly?
-- |
::
2004 18 January :: 11.06 am
like tolkien but worse.
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::
2004 18 January :: 11.06 am
:: Music: boc . sunshinerecorder
it is post-apocalypse ruins, swallowed by desert.
hruneim.
before the sagl age, in fact before much was even remembered anywhere on the planet, there was a great civilisation to the south of noardol. much of its existance is legend, and indeed no one would believe it ever did if it were not for the black and bleached-white ruins displaced in the middle of a thousand sand dunes.
the descendants of slaves still roam these lands, nomads now; their domination so far in the past it is close to myth.
-- |
::
2004 17 January :: 2.52 pm
:: Music: natureland
...i don't think it's right that i should create a character for every and any aspect of my 'being'. don't really think i do.... after all they more or less create themselves.
i can't describe it and i don't think it merits a description. rek wouldn't wreck me though. as much as she thinks she hates herself, i don't think... she'd try that.
well, being from somewhere that doesn't exist can be quite frustrating.
rek hates keesha; if only she'd realize there's something more to her happiness than what rek thinks-- on the contrary, keesha is far from stupid. sometimes you can't help how you look, though, and cheshirecats can't help but be pink[ish].
i don't know who's at the controls here but it's certainly not constance, HA HA..
so what is the purpose of dunghoi and konsendal? and why doesn't the southern noardol continent have a name?
[and why is there so much freaking land??] but names, names; as long as they know what it is, right..?
names are for the noardish, i suppose; they know of some areas but others they completely ignore. in their own way they are really quite self sufficient, but not to the extent that the tefedians are; in order to get to that level they had to assimilate some holistic and otherwise thoroughly tefedic traits into their society and technology and the performance thereof.
a world from a distance and individuals close up; i do so wonder when there will be an in-between.
[i don't know, what is with everyone and haikus??]
-- |
::
2004 16 January :: 8.12 pm
:: Music: múm
[god i hate it when that happens... FCUK. eyðublað! í einn anar!]
getting there.
i suppose every place here has a language of their own modeled after ones i know, some more than others. well, there's nothing i can do about being influenced by this world; after all, i've lived here my whole life.
segl era.
anywhere from a hundred to a thousand years [still deliberating over length of year on planet]. either way, it began with the invaders of heittgarð leaving their island to claim new lands. going south, they came to tefed; however, the northern coast is inpenetrable-- having glaciers to the northwest side and sheer cliffs lined with heavy foresting to the east-- except for one small inlet. this was heavily defended by the people of tefed and thus the country was never invaded.
however, this does not go for noardol. the race sailed along island chains leading east and eventually came as far south as the southern noardol plains. finding this suitable land for farming, they settled and later were the descendants of the noardol empire.
the sailing ohutzl were still sea-nomads for most of this age; the island of bedait was inhabited by the heitts [of heittjarð, obviously] for a short period of time; the small colony was wiped out with a severe storm and the survivors headed south upon hearing news of the settled lands of noardol. with the heitts gone, the ohutzl slowly migrated toward bedait and yasait and eventually it became their settlement.
zamertnyj was untouched, being a land of ice; the fierce mountains and ice-filled waters repelled the heitts and the deciduous forests of north noardol encouraged them to move south.
in the later sagl age, pirates claimed the seas, especially the eastern coast of noardol and the west of tefed. the ennianans became the prime species for ocean rule in this time.
the ideal of unchanging traditions on the continent of tefed originated in the southern land of kyuuriku; this place valued isolation, and as this spread, the two countries isolated themselves as a result of the keeping of this beleif; each country, therefore, resulted in having a different culture, even through the somewhat thick border between them. aside from the jungle and heat on that border, that is.
-- |
::
2004 16 January :: 8.41 am
:: Music: if i dont return.dntel
i was told that the origins of the noardol language actually start in the island heittjarð to the far north of tefed.
how interesting.
the values of that continent, tefed, are so strict that they held off the warrior race, which claimed the eastern continent, for hundreds of years.
of course things seem like they should be separate, but they are so interlinked, it's ridiculous to think otherwise.
nema ekki að árekstur.
-- |
::
2004 15 January :: 7.50 pm
:: Music: joga
trying to find rek's trigger is...
..not seeming like it's possible. i doubt there is one. since i have not experienced her physical being... i can't know her.
the things they don't know, the things they.
constance. the bones... on a shelf somewhere; her hut most likely, huddled against the icedragon's back of the southern mountains. the cold there never ceases. perhaps it is this climate which will ensure their undecayed existance.
i wonder if keesha has an obsession with tefed [efedte]. kedele plant-dyed fur; dliti wrapped around; feet uncovered.
chale chalo, she mumbles.
as barn mutters 'svorna barn?'
ja, svorna barn; [but not] að árekstur.
yfirjarð.. i cannot speak this. if only she knew. this is why i can never remember.... they take it all and lock it up on their own and give me none to function. constance and rek and beatrice... all the facts and things that matter. it is theirs and never mine.
the fey.
'ere the morn...' is her breath, rolling out like struggling hated smoke; she sucks in air again, frozen lungs. 'she may arise... this calmness we cannot keep. rosewen needs to be at bay. keep her stifled. always.'
...i
this.... you are in....
[no, she claims, there is none; avoid the clockwork. we are one.]
nopowerhere. no power here.
i hath created thee; and i shall smite thee, if that be thy wish.
and thy wish
is to live.
even to live fey.
-- |
::
2004 13 January :: 8.07 am
rek is closer to sleep than i realized; she takes hold as i fall in and out, and in mornings it's worst. this body has energy and she is raring to go... and it's hard for me to stop her.
rekrekrek. rek rek. the mask is on again but it slides off so easily, what with the blood underneath. she made beatrice laugh... i heard what they sound like last night; they were dealing justice to the Him of Her-- constance, beatrice, and rek. he was guilty as charged so he got an axe in the head.
beatrice may be new... but she seems so old. what she 'represents'... really, what she is incarnate... has always been there; so in a way she has as well.
cold north. rek has an anger problem.
stop hating stop hating stop hating stop hating stop hating
sutziy. she cries it.
-- |
::
2004 12 January :: 9.32 am
current residents of zamernyj [land of frozen death] once inhabited mountain region of noardol [can be also spelled nordol or nardol]. were pushed north with impirical expansion of empire to south; current residents of north nordol. wolves of zamertnyj became mostly white but retained most other characteristics. western tribes, of the mountains in the south of zamertnyj [on west coast] retained grey/brown color; characteristics and lineage sundered.
constance is constant change in a land frozen. she melts the ice as a phoenix...
kennauil seems to be making a comeback. her species, enniana, is temperamental, inhabited the jungle region south of nordol called 'green noisy death' as a result of their reputation to disembowel noardians. actually somewhat related to the inhabitants of konsendal, the large island to the east of tefed [efedte], who are also extremely hostile. ennianans' diet consists largely of fermented jungle fruit; therefore can hold liquor well, and also why it is highly enjoyed and prized. have had a ....relationship with griffin species on islands to east [mantra's origin]; in tradition of ennianan sailing/piracy any captain of that species has a griffin aboard. considered invaluable.
griffin species' anatomy - keel in front, under rib cage; small amount of muscle but high quality. digitigrade with talons and retractable claws on hands. main diet consists of fish; therefore always reside near water. must have a large amount of food as a result of smaller stomach [from keel] and high protien need.
-- |
::
2004 11 January :: 5.10 pm
:: Music: gimmik - ich bin du
language is a funny thing; the usage of it can convey any number of intelligent thoughts but the analyzation thereof could just be monotonous shallow work, like hard labor for the mind. same goes for history and geography.
-----
beatrice fetsapedal, whose non-nardish name is beatlitz hfetzapedl and means grass-stalker, is a descendent of one of the many tribes of ohutzl which originated in the plains/cliffs area of northeastern efedte. these people migrated east and took up sailing as their main interest in life, with the most respect given to wind. they inhabit most of the islands between north efedte and nardol, the largest being bedait. beatlitz was born on yasait, a smaller island off the coast of bedait, and was raised with the strict but joyful tradition of sailkeeper, the dance of which was of primary importance to the tribe. her last name, in fact, originally meant sailkeeper. she is not the main dancers, but merely an opener; still, the fact that she practices the dance is one which wins her great respect in the tribe.
this respect was lessened to the point of almost nothing, however, when she abandoned the tribe in her teens, claiming they were far too much under the influence of Noardol to the east. she left for efedte and resides currently on the cliffside forests of the northern coast, occasionally coming back to the eastern efedten cities to check up on current events that concerned her place of origin. her excursions of solitude and strict self-sufficiency can last from one week up to a year.
oh, and the country constance is from? it means frozen death. constant warring and tundra will do that to a country's reputation. [maybe its the sharp, jagged, ice-encased mountains to the south and glaciers to the north... hm.]
-- |
::
2004 10 January :: 4.25 pm
well i just wanted to know what it was like.
------------
they have thier own home now; needless to say influenced by this one, but the truth is going to be stretched one way or another. might as well be interesting.
constance, originally from the frozen north, a warring nation; isolated by glaciers and a great mountain range. also general origin of horace, though more south and on highlands just short of mts. northern of eastcontinent temperate home to mostly cities, technology, opportunity, etc; cities within the origins of rosewen, keesha, rek [post-vivisect]. southern eastcontinent desert; slightly influenced by westcontinent; central landbridge jungle [origin of kenni's species]. desert/canyon is where arron is from, why he is red. eastern society with western influence. [east is west, west is east here.] mantra from mountainous island to east of eastcontinent.
in east, religion facet is almost completely absent, considered a thing of the past. most emphasis is in science, the search for 'complete physical and energenic truth.' north is highly advanced and heavily populated, especially on the west coast. plains between jungle and citiscape used for heavy agriculture; numerous times in the history of eastcontinent the method of it had to be re-evaluated in order to sustain life in the cities. most recently, with the eventual linking of west and east, the organic culture of the west showed how to respect the earth in order to gain more in return.
earlier in history when sailing, shipwright first invented, those who sailed west from northeast along island chain [main island of which is bea's origin] came upon small jungle continent, mountains prominent upon first view. claimed uninhabitable. therefore societal-sustinence developed independently.
revolutions in frozen north brought over ideals to northeast; politics and government re-evaluated and rearranged after dark period of 2 centuries of heavy warring. ideals from north ended being banned from northeast society.
bea's island was a major link, still is; combined ideals from frozen north, northeast, northwest, etc.; basically anywhere in the north. became prominent trading island. [original species, in the past, had grown smaller than usual; thus less threatening in trade].
southern east colonized by north; western-influenced ideals supressed for 400 to 750 years, slowly lessening. eventual coup de tat of the colonial rule by far southeast plains species [enk]. desert and tundra deemed uninhabitable.
rek from northern island heated by vents, geysers on coasts.
west relies heavily on tradition; in south, so much so taht almost anything eastern is rejected. therefore southwest acted as buffer through the ages to let western society develop. the widespread belief is in the planet as alive [definition of alive being self-creating, which in their view the planet did/is/was]; suzy from west. bea resides in small cities on eastern westcontinent coast when not living alone in woods independently.
planet itself has two small moons; equalizes balance.
-----------------------
more detail, names, etc. to come later.
-- |
::
2004 10 January :: 10.25 am
daishou
is not truly japanese. do you think someone surrounded by their own culture would worship it so? she is 3/4 japanese, 1/4 canadian, part lynx.
and a master of kendo.
-- |
::
2004 9 January :: 11.08 pm
:: Music: tori amos - scarlet's walk
the cold had frozen her hands, the fur around her face from exhaling. dawn was the coldest hour of the day... the moon, dull and gold, sunk low on the lavender sky. as the sun took it upon itself to rise higher on the dome of the sky, constance herself decided to exhume the bones.
no one was ever around in this siberian tundra, but she was still reluctant to leave the burial site.
[the cold, it bites. it stings. what secrets lie within?]
-----------
subtlety on the horizon, the survival instincts inherent in us all. beatrice is self-sufficient to the point where sociality is near to impossible. even so, she has chosen to return to society, if only to be able to take her survival skills and solitude less for granted.
----------------------------------------
'so that's your dirty little secret, huh? you.. god, you idiot...! i can't believe you!'
'rose... it didn't have to come to this.'
'i knew it. no one could be so perfect.'
[this is why we can't touch; we are far too separate.]
-- |
::
2004 8 January :: 11.14 am
she peeled off her face last night. yesterday. all in one. the soft skin solidified and cracked, the raw was raw underneath, and she was vulnerable. such seething. it came out in the morning. she taped the face, she fixed her mask again and placed it tied it back onto her head. cracks and all. blood leaked. she closes, cannot grin; soon it will be her face once again. the scars will fade.
you cannot take her hurt. she cannot take her hurt.
[you can't stop me from feeling this, you know.]
-- |
::
2004 7 January :: 10.28 pm
still digging, still digging she was.
'con... you're not going to find anything.'
heavy sigh, frustration. 'i know, i know, but...' she hesitated. threw the shovel aside. folded an arm over her torso and put another on her forehead. such frustration...
the moon is full tonight.
suzy watches the sky. quietly. a circle, fuller than full, tides low.
they HAVE NO BEING.
and this search is not fear, she digs through the night unafraid, by moonlight; stiff earth turns and overturns. dirt gets lighter...
then she hits something.
hollow. wooden. this is why she was digging, she realizes now.
quickly she digs. thoroughly, in a trance. her muscles ache and she can't see where the dirt is going, but soon she uncovers it.
a rotting coffin.
the bones inside are her bones, from an ancient life. the answers to her origins are within.
she is shaking.
she is shaking trembling, she is shuddering. noone is around right no one is around?
she doesnt know if her shivers are from anticipation or the cold, but if it was the latter, she wouldn't have started now.
her blood is hot.
she grips the shovel.
it's almost out.
-- |
::
2004 7 January :: 2.59 pm
:: Music: gybe.moya
in russian, KOHCTAHC. constance.
[con]stance
[con]descending
[con]descendence
constant condescending
descending.
no descendants.
she puts the shovel aside for a moment, pausing to look into the gaping hole in white she's carved. she has hit dirt and it stains the snow; white things can't stay clean forever, they either get dirty or die. for her this work has so far been in vain, but she does not cease, this is merely a pause. she has been occuring in the life of this planet for as long as there has been life, and the secret to her origins lies below. under the skin of cast-off and recycled organics, under the blood-clots of rocks, inside somewhere is the answer, and she will never find it, she knows this. but it is more to try and fail than sit and stew.
time is nonexistant so she can pop up wherever in our so-called timeline. i can't explain more without being incredibly contradictory, and i have nothing to back this up. phoenix. eternal. hub of the wheel of time?
shush, you.
[something is peeling off rek's face, the sustaining sanity of peaceful and absence of thought.]
-- |
::
2004 7 January :: 1.02 pm
akin to
takingoffamask.
this sicksick feeling. like raw in the face.. suddenly the definition of vulnerable, double over and cry out, cry out, cry out. rek, just cry out.
something is growing inside someone, I can feel its pulse. she can still hurt, you can’t remove someone’s pain for good. this is subtle. blatantly subtle.
-- |
::
2004 7 January :: 12.08 pm
:: Music: boc - red moss
thanks
here we are.
a character journal. how original.
well, i'd rather this than fill up my gj with it. and have to worry about friend-censorship. hm.
--
so how does constance reincarnate? is it a genetic thing? does she have a soul? i think that einstein once said that when we live, we have energy, and when we die, that has to go somewhere, since energy cannot be uncreated. i just dont know, i dont know if she knows. she thinks about it. i know that. there's no way she couldn't.
chill. she is. quite chill for a phoenix.
i think the only way to truly know a character is to write about them.. narratively. first-person is too... too much of a step when i barely know them. but knowing how they hold themselves, how they would handle themselves in situations, that helps.
helps what?
i imagine her with a shovel.
she sticks it in the pile of snow, crashing the metal into frozen organic, the beginning of all things. breath in front of her face is the beginning of all things. tears from her stinging eyes is the beginning of all things.
there is something buried under there.
-- |
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