Dried Tears... not in vain

:: 2010 5 April :: 12.09pm

I applied for a position as a summer programming intern today at the Chippewa River District Library. I need to get away from Meijer as soon as possible, and December is not soon enough.

:: 2010 26 March :: 10.53pm

I will probably cut some bitches in the next few hours.

:: 2010 9 March :: 9.40pm
:: Mood: accomplished

Spring Break is going well thus far, but seeing how I have to work the next 5 days, I'm not sure it's going to get any better. I had my endoscope on Friday morning (I love starting spring break by getting a camera shoved down my throat). They implanted a device called a Bravo Capsule in my esophagus three inches above my stomach. I carried a companion computer around with me until Sunday morning that gave real time readings of the pH level of my esophagus. I got to record every time I ate and laid down, and they will overlay that with my readings to judge if my reflux is bad enough to warrant surgery. The pH of the stomach is suppose to be fairly acidic (around 3) and the pH of the esophagus is suppose to be fairly neutral (around 7). I had a reflux incident on Saturday afternoon that read at a 1.9 and most of Saturday night I was below a pH of 4. Although the test is done, the capsule will hang around for a couple of weeks until it comes out au naturel. They also did a biopsy of my stomach during the scope because I have gastritis. The leading cause of which is a bacteria which can cause ulcers and ultimately stomach cancer if left untreated.

Before I went on Spring Break I applied and got accepted to present at the Women's Studies Interdisciplinary Round Table on March 15th. I am one of three presenters-of the other two, one is my former Shakespeare Professor (he has a Doctorate in English Literature) and the other is a faculty member at the Clarke Historical Library on campus. It's in the library auditorium which seats about 400 people and is the same place that they had Jennifer Granholm speak the last time she came to campus. My presentation is a Feminist Literary Criticism of Amy Lowell's poem "Patterns" and then an exploration of fashion in 2010. It posits that we need to create a dialogue about current fashion and asks if fashion is either an instrument of repression for women or a tool of freedom of expression and individuality. There will be pictures of Lady Gaga.

I am graduating in December and then on to Graduate School. I got excited today and looked at the Teach for America website. It's something that I really want to do, plus I need some kind of teaching experience if I'm ever going to get a job as a professor at any kind of college, even a community college, which is where I want to be, at least to begin with. I can't wait to get out of Michigan for a while. I want to come back, but I just need to get out and meet other people. I'm looking at a school district in South Dakota that is on a reservation, but it really just depends where I get placed if I get accepted. Things are starting to move, and it's getting exciting!

On a side note, all of my classmates and friends are getting engaged, married, and having babies, and it's scaring the crap out of me. I'm not old enough for this stuff yet!

Also, you should see Alice in Wonderland. It's quite a good film.

Michelle

:: 2010 28 January :: 10.33am

I am sitting in bed under the covers because it is quite cold outside. John Mayer is on Vh1 singing about heartbreak and warfare.

Had the Brinner pajama party last night-it went quite well. I still have about 8 dozen eggs, though, so I might be making some deviled eggs this afternoon to take to closed rush.

We are bidding for next years convention and I'm in charge of it. Planning a convention for 600+ people is not an easy thing to do.

I am afraid that the garbage truck outside is going to hit my car right now.

Nope, it didn't.

I need to do my reading on Socialism and Communism-ideologies that happen to fulfill my psychic needs (or as Fromm would say).

This is my last spring semester as an undergraduate. I need to do my taxes. I need to fight with my insurance company about paying for my Nexium. I am having a surgical consultation in a few weeks. I need a nap.

:: 2010 5 January :: 9.07am
:: Mood: awake

I love the sound of your breathing as you lay next to me dreaming.

I went and purchased my books for the start of my second-to-last semester here as an undergraduate (I'm not counting the two classes I'm taking this summer).

It really wasn't bad as far as cost goes, but Ancient Literature has 11 books.

This semester I'm taking:

FRN 202: Intermediate French II
ENG 261: Ancient Literature
PSC 375: Socialism, Liberalism, and Fascism
PSC 321: The American Chief Executive

I'm pretty excited. It's the first semester that I've only taken 12 credits. I'm trying to go light after last semester's 17. I figure French will take up its fair share of time, and although the other three classes are two and three hundred levels, I feel like I might get a lot out of them without doing much homework other than reading. We'll see.

After this semester I will have 112 credits. I need 124 to graduate, but I'm going to end up with something like 128. This summer will be my two biology classes to finish up my area requirements for my Bachelor of Arts degree which will take me to 118, and then I'm looking into taking nine credits next fall with one graduate level class that will count as graduate credit as to make me a full-time student.

A year from now I will be starting graduate school, and then hopefully getting a post in Teach for America. By the end of all this the plan is to have a Master of Arts in English and one in Education.

Or, I could just give up, get pregnant, work at Meijer for my entire life, and waste away as an intellectual person. I think I'll choose the first.

:: 2009 23 December :: 7.45pm

"I have a life that did not become,
that turned aside and stopped,
astonished:
I hold it in me like a pregnancy or
as on my lap a child
not to grow old but dwell on

it is to his grave I most
frequently return and return
to ask what is wrong, what was
wrong, to see it all by
the light of a different necessity
but the grave will not heal
and the child,
stirring, must share my grave
with me, an old man having
gotten by on what was left"

-A.R. Ammons, "Easter Morning"

:: 2009 20 December :: 5.54am

I think I might regret going to work today. Two people have not been showing up and we have Santa bucks today. I think I'm going to be alone at the Service Desk all morning. FML.

:: 2009 11 December :: 9.14pm

So, I guess I'm getting a C+ or B- in my linguistics class depending on how she decides to "reward" an increase in an exam grade I got in the middle of the semester.

This is not good. It technically counts toward my English Major GPA, but Linguistics is not really English and this teacher was HUGE on phonology.

Well, I guess I'm never going to be a linguist. Not like that shattered any dreams of mine or anything.

The only thing I hate is that I didn't see this coming. I thought all the exams were easy but I got low B's a now a C- on this last one. We were only graded on four exams for this whole semester. I was going to go and talk to the prof, but I was sure that I would do really well. Guess not.

It just frustrates me that I know my way around literary theory and I can synthesize a theory in a matter of hours and have an A essay written in the next few after that, but I can't seem to reconstruct proto-languages or explain the grammatical rules of Ebonic thoroughly (these things may sound hard, but trust me, they're pretty easy).

Good-bye 3.79, it was nice knowing you...

:: 2009 8 December :: 4.05pm

So, if it's snowing right now and the the radar shows no snow anywhere near here, what's going to happen when the radar DOES show snow here?

I don't want exams to be cancelled because then I'll have to have them on Friday. Dumb.

:: 2009 7 December :: 10.58pm

It's exam week.

Two of Five are done.

Then Meijer for five weeks. FML.

:: 2009 4 December :: 7.25am

It's my birthday!

:: 2009 1 December :: 9.20pm

La musique a fini.

:: 2009 23 November :: 12.10am

It's almost the end of the semester. It's so close!

I have a campaign project due Monday night at 6:30pm. I'm almost done, all I have to do is finalize my calendar and proof read. It ended up taking about 16 hours and 13 single spaced pages with an additional attached brochure, 11 month calendar, and publisher 5 sheet web page.

Next, I have a six page paper for Shakespeare that I will start writing tomorrow and it is due on Tuesday afternoon. After that, I'm free until exam week. It's going to be marvelous.

Wednesday is going to be baked-goods day.

Thursday through Sunday is work, including a 5am shift on Black Friday. Bleh.

Fun Fact of the Day: On Columbus's second voyage to the Americas he brought eight pigs. Eight years later there were over 30,000 wild pigs on Cuba alone.

2 moos | someone say moo

:: 2009 15 November :: 6.34am
:: Mood: awake

"I officially became a brother of Kappa Kappa Psi this afternoon. Now I am an active member. There was lots of cool stuff that happened that I can't talk about, which is a little lonely, but understandable. I know I'm finally around people that understand how I feel about music, and that is the best feeling in the world." - April 14, 2007

Shanique is going through Third Degree this afternoon at 1pm. I will remember mine forever, I'm sure she'll remember hers. I have so much hope and faith in her, and I will love her as my Brother until I die. Kappa Kappa Psi is the last piece of my music that I have left and I will not let it go.

By the way, I think I might be an adult now.

:: 2009 10 November :: 5.39pm

Rueben is sick and I think I am too. We are laying in bed together trying to be a comfort to each other.

I have to leave for University Band in a few minutes. It's become so difficult lately with my acid reflux and all. My music is coming to an end and I haven't confronted it yet. It's going to be a disaster when I do.

:: 2009 1 November :: 11.54pm

To a Friend

by Amy Lowell

I ask but one thing of you, only one,
That always you will be my dream of you;
That never shall I wake to find untrue
All this I have believed and rested on,
Forever vanished, like a vision gone
Out into the night. Alas, how few
There are who strike in us a chord we knew
Existed, but so seldom heard its tone
We tremble at the half-forgotten sound.
The world is full of rude awakenings
And heaven-born castles shattered to the ground,
Yet still our human longing vainly clings
To a belief in beauty through all wrongs.
O stay your hand, and leave my heart its songs!

:: 2009 14 October :: 7.19pm

I'm sitting in the library on this computer waiting to go to a reading by Jeffrey Bean on his new works titled "Diminished Fifth."

I'm debating whether or not to go up to the reading room and sit down with the French "Elle" and see if I can figure out what they're talking about..but that usually just gives me a headache.

French was cancelled today and I did not go to Physical Science. I stayed at home and baked all day: Lemon Bars, Apple Pie, and Chocolate Chip Muffins.

It was nice to have a day off. Recently I've been spending 12-16 days on campus. I don't like those days.

Ca Va.

:: 2009 22 September :: 8.29pm

Dear French Verbs,

I hate conjugating you. Especially when you're irregular. Take some fiber, geez.

Love,
Michelle

:: 2009 17 September :: 8.20pm
:: Mood: bouncy
:: Music: Norouet

So, Wheatland was good. I discovered a band that I absolutely love. They are called De Temps Antan and play traditional French-Canadian music. I didn't actually get one of their CD's because the guy at the booth told me that the two I got were their CD's, but it turns out they are different members of the band in different bands. Ugh. It's alright though, the one I'm listening to right now is quite relaxing. Guitars, flutes, violins and such.

Everything has been super busy. I got a new little in Kappa Kappa Psi on Sunday. Her name is Shanique and I absolutely adore her. I can't wait to help her develop her potential within the group. I loved helping my other little, Dave, but he already knew everyone, was already a part of another music fraternity and was well versed in leadership. Plus, he is older than me. Shanique is a sophomore. Tonight is her first business meeting and I am giving her her BIT binder. So exciting!

French has been going well. I got a 76 on the first exam, which was exactly the average of the class, so it wasn't that bad. It's about what I got on my first exam in French last semester. We have another exam coming up and an oral exam. I need to work on my articles. AHHH!

I'm listening to a song in French that's talking about dreaming during the night....hmm.. can't understand much more than that.

I'm also taking a Linguistics course which is SUPER difficult. I took it for fun as an elective; that was a mistake. It's good to know these things about language, but it's really hard to transcribe words into the IPA then figure out where the syllables are and then figure out which syllables are stressed and do it all correctly. I'm not evening going into phonemic and morphemic inventories...

Two semesters after this, hopefully, and then what? Je ne sais pas!

:: 2009 1 September :: 6.02pm

Umm...so...graduate school [cries a little].

Where?
What Era/Country to study?
Assistantship or No?
When?

Why?

Off to band.

:: 2009 30 August :: 10.13pm

I just finished my French homework in forty-five minutes. I don't know what to do with myself now...

*amazement ensues*

I guess I could...do more homework...

:: 2009 29 August :: 8.23am

Woop. Woop. Woop.

It concerns me that I have to leave for work in six minutes and I still can't see very well because of just waking up.

:: 2009 27 August :: 11.55am

At eleven this morning I transferred the RSO (Kappa Kappa Psi) into Alex's care. I thought I had already done it, but I guess I hadn't. That means that I am no longer President in any facit. I like that. I'm still busy as hell, though.

Already had:
French

Next:
Linguistics
Shakespeare
Membership Education Committee meeting
Un film en francais
General Business meeting

So, I'll be busy 'til about midnight.

J'adore aller a l'universite mais quelquefois je deteste le programme que j'ai.