welcome back. welcome back. WeLcOmE bACk!!
Blah. Back from vaca. woo hoo. Vacation was pretty good. Went to Steve Genathas party.. got crunk :) ... Got a big hug from him and Matt Doninno!! Also saw Mike!!! <3 lol umm Then the rest of the week .. I drank an smoke a lot. Me and Speedy talked allloottt lol love him so much .. we are greatt :) :) ...erg i burnt myself with the f!cking flat iron this morning!! mo*fo!!!! grrr!! I tried calling Leah thousands of times over the break too.. especially yesterday but she never answers her fucking phone!!! lol -- f!cking answer ur phone!! damn it leah.. i was so fucking horny for u lol.. kiddinnngg!! well i duno wut to write.. dun feel like writting either .. but i updated for u leah my sexy lover ... --alan will never take ur place... ever!! promise!! lol love ya-- latterrs

Ooh Boi !
Lets start with friday... Well as most of us know... Jackie is an can b a very annoying person. And for some reason... she loves to start shit with speedy when he comes over to me.. so on friday when he walked over to talk to me.. she kicked him in his b@lls an obviously thats gunna hurt.. so he barely hit her in the leg ( which by the way he asked her friend if he should an she sed YES ) but neway.. so she started bitching an threw water at him.... so in return he took his powerade an threw it on her :) .. o wells sucks for her.. thennn she had a fuckin shit fit an started saying " are you kidding me??" he walked away.. she started crying bc she was "pissed" an then she has the nerve to say " Kim .. why didnt you do nething??" that pissed me off. fight ur own fucking battles.. an plus if u dint kick him in his fucking balls he wouldnt of dun shit!! an about er1 gives him props so fuck u! i dun even give a f.ck if ur pissed off @ me either. its kid shit. grow up u conceaded fuck! .........now on saturday... i hung out with speedy again.. dun remember exactly wut we did but i remember running into jackie at the pizza place lol.. she didnt say hi or nething n speedy tried being nice by smiling an she just grilled him. .. then sunday.... i hung out with speedy again.. we went to watch peps play bball.. then we ended up riding in the back of a truck... sum cool shit lol it was fun but cold. then we went home to watch the superball an shiznat. o yeah he taught me some wrestling moves... pretty fun. cant wait til valentines day!!!:) --- g2g bells guna ring ... lattter <3

:)
Heyy... Leah where the hell are you in the morning????? fucken bitch!!! ... kidding ;) - i love you. :):) -- neway So yesterday... Jackie and I got into a fight with Alicia.. of course she had no good come backs.. we where calling her a slut an shit.. so funny....an mad people got involved.. but of course.. theyre on my side :) -- er1 loves me muhahah!!! made my day.. then I hung out with speedy....I helped his mommy with gym applics. -- then we just chilled back.. i ate dinner there. hmm then after hours... we hung out with mee young.. her boyfriend n murphy... and smoked.. then went to the pool hall.. pretty ill... i was high as fuck... but was like falling asleep :) .. went back to speedys.....got his hw an my necklace that i forgot.. then he wouldnt let me leave lol.. he was getten all sad... :( -- my hubby!! lol newayy so yeah that was my day :) -- leah i love you u fucking sexy 69ing bitch. --- hit me up. hah. an fucken tell me where u r in the morning!!! laterrr..

...back
heyyyyy ---- i havent been on in a while to even update.. but leah reminded me todayy about it so i did lol....ummm well lets see.. me n speedy have been good... happy.. giggley... an 2gether for a bit now.. since the 13th... woo! ..he saw my scars which fucken scared the shit out of me. i was so nervous n embarrased :( -- i dint know wut to say so i yanked my arm away an just sed they where old. i had walking namonia for about 2 weeks.. i wanted to f.cken kill myself!!! ... leahs still my sexy b.tch!! woot woot lol love u chica!!cant wait to ... do ... 69!!! mmmmm!! lol ahh u make my day. umm im dying to just drop out of school cuz i fricken hate it more then lifeee!! grr. but yeah i switched my classes so theyre not to bad. but cant wait til da summer. going to florida!!! :) ... leahs gunna come in my suitcase an where guunna get our own hotel room an .. :) -- haha well i g2g now.. got things and PEOPLE 2 do. ;)ha lattterr

! 69 !
I havent updated in a while. never really know exactly wut to right about.... umm i'm Here with Leah. Cut tech today';) Todays Matthews birthday :( - he would be 8 today :( RIP I love you matt. Todays also my moms anniversery (wedding) cute. Anyway so yeah Jackie got on my fucking nerves this morning like always. hate herrr sumtimes!!! erg!! Y esterday speedy called :) ... he gave me a ring by the way tehhaha. alot is going on betwen him n me ... so happy... we told eachother that we r eventually going to go out.. he says real soon .. so yeah. im chillen wit him today too :) muhaha. but be4 that i have a stupid doctors appointment with korrol. woo hoo nope!! grr.. he gets paid so much for nothing !!! lol im in there for like a second!!! newayy.. atleast it goes quick. boo im hungry!!! feed me! ... leahs over here playen operation on her new fuckin phone. its hot!! but now me n her r gunna have some nice fucken hot sex in the girls bathroom :) :) so Latterrss

1.4.05 <3
Well me... Jackie and sum other people decided not to go to tech today :) so that ment 4 free periods in a row of absolutely nothing!! woot woot!Speedy came up 2 me today to say high... we gave eachother high fives lol an then he appologized for not calling cuz he was sick all vaca. aww. neway so we where talking (jackie n i) about speedy an stuff an the reason i like him is cuz hes kinda a bad boy but he is sweet n knows how to treat a girl :) so then later on when tech kids got back.. we saw speedy again!!! :) made me smile so big. lol then fricken Jackie ran up to him an started talken to him n i got so scared cuz i also saw him with a big smile like ive never seen on him b4. lol then Jackie cameback an was like aw kim!!! so I was like.. wut? wut did u say an shizzle. but all turned out good n made my day. :) turns out. Speedy really likes me n thinks im really cute :) .. so who knows what will happen :) tehehhe.. go me!!!! <3 best day i've had in a longgg time!!! woohooo...cant wait til 2mrw.. actually hopefully i see him again later 2dayy :) :) :) --- love my life as of today.

..they found me on the bathroom floor
Another knife in my hands
A stain that never comes off the sheets

... yeah so i've been feeling really lonely again . really kind of sux. and to make things a bit worse i act like nothings wrong. its kind of something i learned to do as time goes on. i havent cut but i really need to sometimes. n really want to. i thought that by ignoring the things around me and acting like nothings wrong.. things would get better but it just gets worse. theres no1 really to talk to about it either. kind of sux. so yeah i hold it in an just lay there listening to music. now im in school.. tired as hell and just have a lot on my mind. i have the feeling im guna snap on sumone but who knows ?!.!? i just feel so fricken empty inside an sumtimes even when nothings goin on .. i still feel .... depressed. im still on medication.. i duno if its working.. i feel the same cept a bit calmer. an obviously if dr.korrol asks my mom if she thinks im doing better then shes going to say yes bc she sees the "me" i put in front of her. an act. whatever though. im just really confused. i dunno wut deciscions to make n shizzle. i think im just gunna go into my "whatever mood" :) always goes well.

! b@ck !
.... so we're back in school. woo fucking hoo..nope!! blah. life is okay and shizzle. I havent cut myself in about 3 weeks.. although i've had more then many erges ( <<-prolly spelt wrong bc i cant spell of shiznat!! ) anyway.. Vacation was eright. better then being in this fricken school. I spent X-Mas eve with my family @ my house. though we broke the tradition of waiting til 12am to open presents.. me n my aunt ended up opening them @ 9. nice. then I ended up getting sick the next day for about the rest of the vacation but o wells. I got new Vans an Dcs by the way! Woot!! Yeah for Kim!!!I wanted to get drunk so bad duren vaca.. but obviously i didnt. :( bllahh!! Tiltingz back to school..!! Shes been gone since forever but atleast shes otayy. :) .. I'm gunna start working soon so i can save up money for when i go to florida in July <3muhaha!seriously cant fucking wait to get out of this town and seeing the same people!! .... neway although i got another email that kind of pissed me off ( i wont get into it ) im not gunna let it get to me :) .. it wasnt ment to hurt me or nething but its just so fucking annoying!!! well ...i have gym today .. this should b good... o yeah leah thanks for leaving a comment thingy lol .. 69!! woot!!! erighty.. i dunno wut else to write so yeah im out laterr.

They call me Liel Bear. :)
Well I just got back from Wilson Tech. We did absolutely.. !NOTHING!tehehe. we had food n we watched the elf ;) hmm n then jackie straightened my hair an then i did hers. then i had to see the councelor.. whome by the way has grown very attached to me lol... freakkky...she kinda weirds me out.--shes all huggy an caring about me n crap.. which is nice i guess.. but dude.. dun hug me lol.. neway.. she says i seem better.. that when she talks to me my chin doesnt have that thing that i do when im holding back my tears. an in the way i talk to her i seem better so word to ya motha!!! hmm tomorrows christmas eve.. the day my family celebrates it. we're having it at my house this yr. : / .. hopefully emanuel comes cuz .. well hes the only person im looking forward to actually seeing. an i havent seen him in a while. so yeah. but hopefully all goes well. :) on the other hand.. life is actually going eright lately. ive grown stronger. n people have sed theyve seen a difference in me which is good. :)--im actually for once proud of myself . i havent cut in lets see... 8days!!! wow.. thats like a record for me!! i dunno maybe last thursday was a wake up call. so yeah. im a diff kim now. i actually havent even cried lately. i do miss will but i dunno.. it seems different. it is different. i havent even got to the point where i can express how i feel about it nemore bc im not sure. i dunno how to treat him. wut to say to him . how to react to him. i still love him. i deff care about him. hes still on my mind n in my heart. but things are sooo different!!! erg! it aggervates me!! i hate chnage!!!!.. i dunno i think im just guna stop mentioning him . unless sumthing happens. --well its 7th period now n i was suppose to see mrs. petterson but shes not in her fricken office!!! ahhh where is she??? she's missing!!! :( --- lol but yeah i have 9th off yeahhh :) im still debating on wether to go home or just wait til the end bell rings. well everyone.. have a merry christmas an a happy new year!!!! always <3 --- Kimberly :)

My heart.
Heyy. Erighty. Yesterday was cute. lol.. It was all pretty boring 'til we got to gym.its pretty sad how we always look forward to gym haha. neway we arent playing capture the flag nemore.. which fricken sux balls!!! so we had to decide between hockey n basket ball.. so we chose basket ball. Usually Jackie would play with Speedy an some other dudes while i just shot sum baskets on the other hoop.. cept today..speedy wasnt there @ first and Jackie decided not to play basketball because she doesn't like Alex.but then again... who does Jackie like? So I stayed and did my thing when out of no where... Speedy showed up!! Woot Woot!! lol. So he randomly started playen with around wit me and he was all flirty flirty.. cept I didn't know he was being flirty bc i just figured.. its the way he is. cuz in general.. he is a nice kid!!! until someone else finally hinted it out for me. blah! neway. then we ended up talking and stuff an i shot my baskets while he tried impressing me with his lil tricks but yeah that was in school.... then Today I got an email from Will <3. Wow really weird n choking. Cuz we werent talking but I guess he got all crazed bc i just went with the flow. he sed it would be better not to talk.. so i didnt talk to him!!!. but yeah it was cute. made my day. <3ahhh the memz! i think he still loves me. which is weird bc he has a crush on someone else.. well he did. so that was a turn off for me. an yeah more stuff happened. that really pissed me off. but wut can i do??but lil secrete... im still crushing on him.. but a part of me knows nothings gunna happen n i have to let go. hmm so yeah its early in the morning n i still havent gone to my locker.. (last day of fricken school n then vacation!! woott!!) so yeah im gunna go now an ill update later.. erightyy?? byeee