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2008 23 October :: 9.49pm
=(
So little Mr. Jack Daniels got hit by a car.
He survived but his hip is dislocated.
We took him to the vet and they popped it back in but it just popped out again. So far its already cost $700.00 that my mom really can't afford, and the money spent hasnt even done anything.
Basically we have to wait two weeks and see if he can manage without it.
It breaks my heart to see him trying to hobble around and know hes probably in so much pain.
So far hes managing fairly well but I really don't see how he can live the rest of his life like that. Hes so fucked up.
If he can't seem to manage were just going to have to put him down.
I'm almost at the point of thinking that might be better, but wait and see how the two weeks goes.
Even if he can manage, hes not going to be able to go outside again and he'll be restricted to the house. I can't imagine that, it would suck.
I've had cats put down before but this ones differnt. Hes so much more than just a regular cat.
Hes such a cutie. Hes the biggest sketch bag in the world and he has so many cute personality traits.
The way he sits up right his little belly hanging out like a person hunched over.
The way he can't hunt but instead brings leaves in fall and winter. He always finds the perfect one and puts it right in the middle of the doorway so we see it when we get up. Last year by the end of the winter we had a huge pile out by the back.
And the fact that everytime he goes out and comes back inside he eats like hes never seen food. Hes sucha little fatty.
Theres just so much about him thats so differnt from other cats and it would kill me to see him or Kaluah go =(
He is such a little trooper though. At the vet he didn't try and fight it or anything, he didn't even meow at all! And at home hes already eating, probably more than he should be but thats good. Hes even managed to learn to go up the stairs, he props himself up against the wall to help get up. Hes so good and I just wish I could make all his pain go away.
Ughhhh all I can do is hope for the best, but thats kinda hard sometimes.
I love you JD. <3 Please please please get better!
waiting to grow
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x-cosmic-sunday-x
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2008 16 October :: 3.16pm
I'm getting so fucking sick and tired of dealing with your shit.
YOUR SO FUCKING STUPID AND LAZY.
Where is your common sense!?
Your such a slob, you sit on your fat ass all day doing NOTHING.
And god forbid you do something like... unload this dishwasher?
I don't even remember the last time I saw you vacuum or clean the bathrooms! The most you'll do is throw the dishes in the dishwasher, but god forbid you unload it once its run through. Or you put some laundry in the wash, but don't bother to switch it to the dryer unless its your own.
You clean your room, your own room, the one you make your own ridiculously disgusting mess in and you act like you deserve a freaking prize. Just because you clean your OWN room doesn't mean you shouldn't help with other things.
Now the common sense thing.. its astounding.
You think if you drop something on the floor you'd pick it up, not leave it there for days and days?
I even constantly see you drop food on the floor and just leave it there.
Its disgusting. Pigs are less filthy than you.
You turn the intire house into a fucking mess. The computer desk and surrounding area are littered with GARBAGE and food you've droped but havent cleaned up. The tables are constantly littered with garbage from your purse or sewing shit or your stupid ugly hair extensions.
Even the landing at the bottom of the stairs is piled up with clothes and other belognings of yours that your to LAZY to put away.
If you want to live in a disgusting mess keep it in your fucking room.
Your a fat lazy slob.
And honestly if you insist on puking up your food (which CLEARLY doesn't make a differnce, especially when you eat EVERYTHING) you could atleast clean the toilet thats fucking gross.
waiting to grow
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angel_bob
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2008 16 October :: 2.34pm
:: Music: Sons and Daughters
To everyone who will never see this:
(This isn't about you. If you think it's about you, it's not. It's about a certain vous.)
Not everyone's religion is your religion. You can't just push your views on me and I can't just push my views on you.
I believe in God. But my god seems to be a little nicer than your god. And if that makes me wrong, or a heathen or whatever, I don't care. I'm living in a happy, nice world with a happy, nice God who loves everyone, where free will means free happiness and where people are happy and love each other. If that's not a world you like, that's fine because it's my world. And I'm happy here.
I just don't understand why anyone would want people to not be happy.
I don't understand how what you do makes you happy. Does judging others make you feel better? Does alienating your friends and family make you happy? If it does, then that's fine. I'd only ever want you to be happy. But if it doesn't? Why do you keep doing it?
I love you all.
5 ...sweet love...sweet love |
waiting to grow
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angel_bob
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2008 5 October :: 2.38pm
Nick's little sister got married last night. She turns 20 in November. As much of a horrible ideas as I thought getting married at that age was, after it all, I am so happy for Jess and Ryan. They obviously love and care for each other quite a bit and share the same ideas and faith. They're both silly and a little ditzy. And besides, people probably think the idea of Nick and I getting married is ridiculous too.
In the end, I had so much fun dancing and dressing up and partying and celebrating with them that none of it mattered. Not waking up at 7 to get my hair sprayed into a fake updo at 8:45. Not getting my makeup done and feeling guilty about Nick's mom spending over 200 dollars. Not the stupid fights we had only weeks before. The only thing that mattered was seeing Jess walk down that aisle yesterday and feeling so happy for her. For everyone.
Congratulations, you two. And good luck.
I love you all.
1 ...sweet love |
waiting to grow
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x-cosmic-sunday-x
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2008 4 October :: 12.01am
I'm a million differnt things & not one you know.
I'm so fed up with everything.
I wish life had a reset button at times.
But then again everything I've been through and everything I do has gotten me to the point in my life that i'm at now.
And thats how it will always be.
Just another step running circles in my head.
Theres so much going on in my life now.
It use to be the complete opposite.
Theres never a happy medium it seems.
Back then I would have killed to have something to do.
And now I would kill to have a week alone.
Theres so much I'm sick of. I hate this fucking routine.
waiting to grow
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angel_bob
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2008 4 October :: 12.17am
So Nick's little sister is getting married tomorrow. I'm not sure how I feel about this yet. I am a bridesmaid. I am going to bed now.
waiting to grow
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x-cosmic-sunday-x
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2008 21 September :: 3.33pm
Were dead.
Some children died the other day
We fed machines and then we prayed
Puked up and down in morbid faith
You should have seen the ratings that day.
My mind is so fucked up I don't even know where to start.
waiting to grow
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angel_bob
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2008 20 September :: 2.15am
Things have been crazy. Good, but crazy.
I filled out my app for degree yesterday and Pichot turned it in to the office today. I'm graduating in May. This is the weirdest, scariest feeling I've felt since those four months in France. And I feel bad eating Tums like candy here.
Classes are going okay. Ceramics class sucks because on a scale from one to a lot, I have negative five art skills. And there are art students in class even though the title specifically says FOR NON-MAJORS. GET OUT OF MY CLASS, ART KIDS, YOU'RE MAKING MY BAD ART LOOK WORSE.
French is god-awful. I shouldn't expect a 400 level French class to be not hard but it is terrible. We watched four versions of Madame Bovary and for our test on Monday he expects us to tell all the movies apart by director's name. I cannot tell them apart. There's the French color one, the American black and white one, the French black and white one and the British miniseries. But if you ask me, vrai ou faux, dans la film de Renoir, Léon a cassé la vitre avec son main, I couldn't tell you.
Everything else is okay. Tai Chi is making my legs hurt. 1776 is playing at Civic theatre and I'm planning on seeing it this weekend.
OH! Will.i.am is coming to my school on Sunday. Crazy, right? I am pumped.
1 ...sweet love |
waiting to grow
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x-cosmic-sunday-x
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2008 15 September :: 11.15pm
How to save a life.
Life is busy, and theres always so much stress.
I work no less than 5-6 days a week.
I skate Mondays.
Have 3 hours of school on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
And I'm starting bootcamp which is Mondays and Wednesdays.
I don't have enough time for my friends. And I don't have enough alone time.
And my time is never good enough for Greg.
waiting to grow
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angel_bob
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2008 4 September :: 11.20pm
! الحمد لله
I started my last year of college last week. I do not want to talk about how much this is freaking me out.
I am so sorry that I haven't updated lately but things have been crazy. On Mondays and Thursdays, I have class from 9am - 7pm with 5 minutes between classes and work crammed in there too. Otherwise, I have one or two classes.
Here's the rundown:
Mondays/Thursdays
I have Cartography at 9. This class is awesome because I've always wanted to be a useless cartographer and it's taught by Bieneman. Did I ever tell you I had his wife in elementary school? She was my fourth grade teacher. Her mother passed away this week.
At 10:50, I go to work until 1:25.
Don't even get me started on these new kids. They deserve their own post.
At 1:40, I have French Film and Lit. It's only the second week of school and I already am just reading the SparkNotes. The class would be so much less painful with you girls but I'm surviving okay with...the one girl whose name I still don't know after four years and some other girl.
Five minutes after the end of French class, I have Ceramics. It's really just a class to help me calm down but I've already broken two pots and found two very not artistic buddies. I am so not artsy.
Five minutes after the end of feeling dumb, I have Arabic. Which is, quite frankly, awesome. It is difficult but a ton of fun. I feel like such a genius when I get a word right or when I understand what's going on. Also: heritage! I hope I get to talk to my mom's relatives before the kick the bucket because now I know my blood languages (as my mom calls it).
Tuesdays/Fridays
I have a confession to make. Because I couldn't afford the textbook and he stressed homework so much, I dropped my history class. So now I have to take it next semester.
In other news, at 10:50, I have Tai Chi. Which is reaching Folk and Square Dance in awesomeness. The prof learned Tai Chi directly from some famous family who created a form of Tai Chi. He is a hoot. I have a thousand stories from him. He fell off a curb and landed on cement about a year ago and had trouble walking again. His hip hurt when he walked so he couldn't walk across the room until he tried doing Tai Chi. When he walked by doing his Tai Chi moves, his hip didn't hurt any more. Since he is injured, his wife does most of the demonstrations. She also helps him remember how old he is when he adds thirteen years to his age. Both of them are pretty old, 60s and 70s, but they are hilarious. He calls himself Monk and his wife Natalie Teager. Most of the class is taken up by his stories.
On Tuesdays, I have Arabic at 6 (work before that (10:50 to 5) but I have Arabic only Mondays through Thursdays so I just have Tai Chi and work on Fridays.
On Wednesdays, I am not working for the first time in my life. So all I have is Arabic at 6. I sleep, I read, I do homework, I relax.
Overall, this semester is awesome but very stressful. I have a lot of work ahead of me.
I love you all.
3 ...sweet love...sweet love |
waiting to grow
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x-cosmic-sunday-x
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2008 21 August :: 8.38pm
Wow! It's almost been a month since I've update, guess I've just had to much on the go.
Kisas finally back, but shes going to Disneyland for a week tommorow, but oh well whats another week.
Sammy got a job at Disneyland and shes moving to Flordia for a year sometime in the spring.
Kisas dad got posted to Ottawa and has to move there for two years she may or may not go with him, she wants to but I really hope she doesn't.
For once in my life I'm trying to go somewhere and do well in school but everything keeps getting screwed up, now I'm at a loss of what to do.
Works going well nothing to exciting although I wish I had a better paying job.
Theres lots to say but I don't really feel like typing so thats the best I got for right now
waiting to grow
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angel_bob
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2008 6 August :: 11.59pm
It's weird living with people again.
I have to close doors now when changing or going to the bathroom.
It's cold all the time.
I have to wear clothes.
Oh the sacrifices we make...
2 ...sweet love...sweet love |
waiting to grow
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angel_bob
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2008 6 August :: 1.55am
Well.
I guess that's that.
waiting to grow
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x-cosmic-sunday-x
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2008 31 July :: 11.37am
:: Mood: depressed
Your love means everything to me.
I've been so depressed lately.
I can say I don't know why all I want but I'm pretty positive I do know why.
I'm so afraid of being in love because I'm so afraid of being hurt again.
It's a pain thats almost unbearable and I don't want to go through it again.
And its to hard to believe anyone regardless of what they say. I know you can tell me you wont hurt me or that you love me. But theres almost nothing you can say that hasn't been said before.
I know you've never given me any reason not to trust you, and for the most part I do trust you I just can't fully believe that I'm not going to get hurt.
Why is the bad so much easier to believe?
At the same time, the way I feel will eventually push you away and I'll end up hurting myself.
And as much as I wish I could hold back, I can't help how I feel and I've already fallen in love with you, so what do I do?
Even if I tell myself not to worry and just be happy, its constantly in the back of my mind.
I know I'll drive myself mental trying to figure this one out. And I probably wont get anywhere.
Forget the risk. Take the fall. If it's what you want It's worth it all...
waiting to grow
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