yeah, I am so glad I will never have to buy another prom dress in my life...
geeze! so what is up with these chicks who sell prom dresses???

Okay, so here's my story...

So i'm prom dress shopping today, and my step-mom and I go into this one store and out of the like 2,000 dresses they had, I couldn't find just one that I liked. So i'm in there for a while and then all the sudden this old sales chick comes up and asks if we've "found anything that we like" and i'm like "nah, still lookin'." This is when this chick gose freakin' crazy! She's like "well oh let me help you!" and before I even know what's freakin' happening, this woman is dragging me off in search of a prom dress. So she's going through all these dresses and she's like "do you like this one?...how about this one?...this one?...or this one?..." and i'm like, "umm no...well not really...no that ones just too...no not that one either." During this entire drilling process my step-mom walks off somewhere which I couldn't totaly balm her for...hey, save yourself. Now the lady is all asking me if i'm sure of my size or something like that but i had kinda zoned out. So finally I'm so tired of this woman I'm like "okay, i'll just try this one on." I'm thinking she'll go away, but nooo, she waits to see what the stupid dress looks like on me. All this time I didn't know where my step-mom was until I hear "BEKIE?!?!" from across the store. So i'm like "WHAT?!?!" and she's like "BEKIE?!?! BEKIE WHERE ARE YOU?!?!" and i'm like "I'M OVER HERE!!!" so i come out in this dress and i don't even have to look down because the look on my step-mom's face says that this dress looks horrible on me. So my step-mom says that she's gonna go and wait in the car, and I have the nerve to look down...this had to be the ugliest dress i had even seen. So i said to the crazy lady, "ummm...I don't think I really like this one." but nooooooo. she's all like "but it looks so good on you! just look at yourself and tell me you don't like it!" so i did and then I turned around and told her "i don't like it." amazingly she seemed to accept this fact. So i'm changing back into my clothes and i have my shirt over my head when this woman just walks in to my dressing room! "She like i brought you another dress!" so i hurry up and finish dressing while she's got the curtain to my dressing room all wide open and then i was like "yeah...ummm...i think my step-mom is umm...like dying or something so i reallly have to go." i didn't even bother to put on my shoes, i just ran.

...but i did find a dress!

i am so glad i only have one prom

hey look at me, I changed the color
You know what the majorly funny thing is...I have know idea what all those little number deal things mean when you go to change the look of your journal. I just type in some random letters and numbers until I come up with something that I like. The best part is I always get something nice on like the first or second try. I love it when things work out that way.

So i've been on this little mission lately. Sadly enough, I can't read a guy. You know when you got some guy and he all likes you, there are evidently ways of telling this. Being myself, I always seem to overlook these. I dunno. Things just seem to be out of place in a way right now. In some ways i don't want anything to change, but in others i want them to change right away. Does anyone know what i'm talking about?

Sometimes I get this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach...I don't know if it's a bad thing yet.

My life could so be a T.V. show...
You know what I mean, because in T.V. shows all this dramatic crap is going on and then everything is just fine and dandy with the world again. That is so my life. So we've had the horific situation and now we're in the "everything in the world kicks booty" time.

So yes, everything does kick major butt.

Talked to Parks yesterday. That went very well, except for the part where his ex-girlfriend is gonna kill us or something, but hey, she doesn't know who I am so what do I have to worry about...right?!?!

Oh yeah, MUCH LOVE TO MELISSA'S MOM!!!!!!!!!!
For those of you who don't know I've been in the market for a particular trashy romance novel. Just my luck it's out of print. Oh oh, but thank the lord for melissa and her mom because melissa ordered it for me and her mom's like "hey, don't worry about paying me back, happy late birthday!" and i'm like "woo rock on!"
so i get my trashy romance novel and i don't have to pay for it. i should stop calling it that, it's not really trashy. still it sounds fun.

yeah, and i ate half of a chicken biscut this morning.

see, the world is a wonderful place after all!

what?!?!

You are the phantom. Dark and reclusive, you tend
to stay away from people. Your body image is
probably pretty negative. Get out there and
have some fun my friend!


Which 'Phantom of the Opera' character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


all because i want to make my enemies bleed.
geeeze.

18
i'm not ready. i'm seriously not ready to turn 18. if i could stop it i would i really would but there no way. i just feel like i'm growing up too fast. like all these years of childhood are slipping away much too quickly and i can't hold onto them. i'll be 18 tomorrow but i feel like i'm 10.
i hope i never never grow up.
in other things i'm not so sure about this parks thing anymore. you know i just don't know what's happening with me. at first (you all who read this so know) i was like "what is up with this he's always calling me and i don't know if i like this if he kisses me i'll hit him and blah blah blah." So i've been reading his ex girlfriends diary and well, to put it in a simple way she all still in love with him even though i think she left him for some other dude. so i'm like this is so sad and all and i'm thinking maybe he loves her and you must understand how tragic i find it. the thing is now i can't let go. i feel like if i'm not talking to him all the time it's just not enough and i don't even understand what's happening to me it hasen't even been two weeks IT HAS NOT BEEN LONG ENOUGH FOR ME TO CHANGE MY FREAKIN MIND!!!!
geeeze. i don't know what i want anymore.

but for now i know i don't want to be 18

i hate boys
i do i really do. they're jerks and they look at you're boobs and they call you ALL THE FREAKIN' TIME! I don't think i can really explain on here, because i don't know who all reads this thing. If you really want to know just ask me. but i'm in such a fix and i don't know what to do and frankly it is all my fault. oh i hate boys. not all boys. like i still think marcus lovett is hot and there are plenty of boy that i still love dearly, i just hate certain boys. okay i'm done. i feel much better now

Just Thinking
Sometimes I think i'll never be kissed. maybe it's just me. just a thought.

Marcus Lovett is hot
yes that's right, you heard me! Marcus Lovett is hot! wooooooooo! i feel like i'm 12 or something, but i don't care cuz he's hot. no no, you must understand the disapointment i have suffered with my poor musical theater men. oh how i love them but...well, let me explain. so i discover the musical Les Mis and i'm like "wow, the dude who plays Marius had a great voice! he must be hot!" so in my mind i see Michael Ball as this hot young guy. then i see a picture of him and what do i discover...he's fat and old. just my luck. he was okay looking when he was younger...but that was then and this is now. so then i'm into phantom and i'm like "wow!!! listen to this guy who plays the phantom!! he's amazing...but wait now bekie, don't go thinkin' he's hot or anything! you remember michael ball!" much to my disapointment, michael crawford wasn't even nice lookin' when he was young! so then i find Whistle down the wind. then i'm thinkin' "wow, this dude who plays 'the man' has an amazing voice! just listen to him go! no, but i'll probably go blind if i look at him." but i looked anyway and much to my surprise MARCUS LOVETT IS HOT AND HE CAN SING! IT'S FREAKIN' AMAZING! yes, and that's all i have to say. time to go and eat some wendy's. mmmmm

Geez i am such a dork!
Seriously people. It's a sad sad thing. so i've just gotten this new musical Whistle Down the Wind. It's beautiful and wonderful and it holds a special place in my heart. So, what do ya know, it's based on a book and being the little musical junkie that i am, i wanna read the freakin' book. so for the last few weeks i have been book hunting. to my great disapointment, i find that the darn book isn't even available in the good old US of A. Now here's why i'm a dork. instead of thinking, "well that's too bad," i'm thinking, "now how am i gonna get to england...hmmmmm..." What a musical junkie i am. if i have a passion in life it is this and i don't need nothin' else but the good lord and a few steady friends! maybe it's for the best. maybe it ends like phantom and i'll just end up chucking it across my room. for those of you who don't know, i love phantom. throwing of the book is not a symbol of hate! the ending just upset me so much that i threw the book and cried for hours. it's all good, it didn't end that way in my mind. so anyway, kisses to you all. i'm off to skip about in my unreasonable happiness. don't ask me why i'm so perky, i dunno!