This was like the weirdest dream I've had all week...

I fell asleep listening to the White Stripes last night(this morning)... It must have been about 6 am. I had this totally weird dream that I was going to my gramma's house for the day. Apparently she had to go to my cousin's house to do something, and I was instructed to go to her house to take care of her plants or some weird thing like that. So I'm over at her house, which in my dream, looks like a combination of my house and the lobby of a hotel. I'm standing at the sink in the kitchen type thing and washing my hands when this large African American lady comes in. I turn around to face her, and she says to me "I need a plate! A big plate!". So I say, "Well go get one then!" She turns around and walks through some swingy door things and reaches into a high cabinet and starts fiddling through dishes. Then she turns to me and says "You know your grandmother wants to live in a hospice don't you?" I respond yes... even though I don't know what the hell she's talking about. The lady pretty much left or disappeared after that.

The lady totally weirded me out so I decide to go play around on the computer. I pull up the media player and as soon as it comes up there's a very skinny white chick on it. She looks like a fitness instructor or something, and it appears that she is somewhere outdoors. She addresses me by name through the computer. Then she says "You know your gramma wants to live in a hospice dont you?" again, I say yes. Then the woman says "It's ok... you can make it through everything with hard work!"

Then she pulls a fucking lawnmower out of her pocket! You know like in Mary Poppins where she pulls all that shit out of her bag? It was just like that! With that, she starts mowing the lawn, but it is as if someone hit the fast forward button on her life, because she is mowing at the speed of light, and it looks really funny! She stopps mowing and then starts trimming bushes... It is at this point when I look out of the window adjacent to the computer. She's in the backyard! Now i'm completely freaked and I walk upstairs for a breather, and crawl back down so that she doesn't see me through the computer (For some reason I wasnt worried about her seeing me through the window) I quickly reach up and shut off the media player.

Thinking my troubles are over, I stand up and relax a moment... Then I hear a rattling in the air ducts. All of a sudden the airvent near the celing flys off and hits Alyssa's drumset ( I dont know what that's doing at gramma's) then Britney Spears jumps out of the air vent saying "Shit! I did it again!" when she sees what the vent cover did to Alyssa's drums. I really didn't know how this happened in my dream, because Britney Spears being there had NOTHING to do with my gramma. She just walked up to me and started talking about herself (She seemed really egotistical in my dream, and she said her boobs were fake). We were then interrupted by a phone call from my sister Donna, who asked the question, "You know that nanny wants to go live in a hospice dont you?" "yes" then she just hung up. Britney decided she was leaving and hopped back through the air vent. Then I hear a knock at the door. It's Alyssa. I walk out to let her in, and Dad has brought home a new truck you know the kind that the hispanics across the street drive. Complete with an airbrushed portrait of the truck being watched by the Virgin Mary. He gets out of the truck and I ask him "Daddy, did you know that gramma wants to move into a hospice?"

Then I woke up.

The weird thing about this is that Gramma is in fact losing her mind. There's a history of Alzheimer's in her family. Last year she sent Alyssa a birthday card that said "Alyssa, It's your birthday isnt it?... oh well Happy Birthday... Whatever." That was certainly not gramma-esque. She called here a few days ago and mentioned "Wasn't it someone's birthday last week?" "Alyssa told her that it was mine. Then she asked when dad's birthday was. She couldn't even remember when her son's b-day was. I thought it sad. I mean I only expected so much. She in fact called our house on my birthday... We talked for a while and she didn't even remember then. Poor Gramma. Now i'm thinking that it's best that she go to Michigan. There is a care facility near where she will live. Perhaps it's better that she not live alone.

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