impersonality
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2005 18 December :: 3.10pm
:: Mood: cold
:: Music: PENICILLIN - Hate
wonderful, special, oh my god
sooooo.... I'm cold XD
oh did you know? My dad's mom had her own business where she made clothing patterns for antique dolls.. that's awesome.. but she killed herself long long before i was born so i don't know her..
anyway, have i ever told you about my dad's dream? Okay, i don't think i did.. well... my dad knew this guy as a kid that he used to play football with, i guess, and like he had this dream where he was at a baseball game, and he caught this home run ball, that was like really valuable, and then the guy that my dad knew was there, and he tried to take the ball, but my dad ripped it away and said "This is mine" and like.. he found out that that guy died that very night.. O_O i wonder if my dad didn't get that ball back if it would have been him...
so.. i talked to my uncle bruce and my cousin allison ^^ they're doing good.. they're coming up friday and leavine tuesday, and i shall see them sunday through tuesday, so i'm really happy... but while my dad was on the phone with uncle bruce he was talking about his mom and how he thought she was manic depressive and saying stuff about how he knows what someone is going through, and say how he could help when they get here and stuff O_O then he said he was going to keep it under his back pocket so i didn't ask.. then when he was talking to aunt nancy, (his sisiter) he hung up without letting me talk to her and i got kinda mad, but he said "she isn't feeling well" i'm kind of suspicious that something bad is going on.. oh well..
my mom think's there's something seriously wrong with dakota and we have to take him in again after christmas... i don't like the way she looks at him and pets him.. it scares me because she does it in way like it might the last time.
Laugh for me.
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Impersonality
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2005 8 December :: 9.01pm
:: Mood: anxious
:: Music: PENICILLIN - Love ghost is born in the dope zone
3. . . 2. . .1. . .
so...
while i was sleeping last night, i heard/thought "Old Father called me Eldrich" wtf? O__O;;;
and today in history i finished my work early so i put my head down and i was falling asleep and i was hearing the ocean among other things. yeeeep.
so i went to the dentist today. i have to floss. but seriously, WHO flosses? XD my mom was playing with the legos in the waiting room. And i got my hair cut, mostly a trim but it's got more of a wedge to it this time but it's not as steep as i wanted. oh well, it's stilll cool. My grandma wants to get me cappuccino mix O_o
Laugh for me.
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impersonality
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2005 7 December :: 9.56pm
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: Bang-Doll - Bang the HEAD[bst]
your head will explode too
My faint wish, "I can dissapear... immediately"
To keep going is something I cannot do...
The feeling that budded in the corner of my heart is called "love"
Were all of the arguments in this world formed because I loved too much?
I don't believe anything right now, and continue resisting everything
Dishevel my hair like my heart is touched... "Bang the HEAD"
In the middle of confusion, at the place it's too late to return to, I looked at myself bound in chain
With a cold heart that can't begin to realize its wounds,
"My" personality must have been accustomed to those spoken words
I don't believe anything right now, and continue resisting everything
Dishevel my hair like my heart is touched... "Bang the HEAD"
My blood's flowing, I feel the pain... "Bang the HEAD"
Can't do anything about the bugs seething inside my head, I hate it.
Slowly crawling around, starting to eat away. "Your head will explode too"."
Laugh for me.
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Impersonality
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2005 3 December :: 10.11pm
:: Mood: amused
:: Music: Bang-Doll - The Edge of Spirit
Some google name fun
some google name fun
"Brooke needs"
"Brooke needs a new man" (yes)
"Brooke needs open lines of communication"
"Brooke needs to butt out"
"Brooke needs a > > > life"
"Brooke needs an exciting man in her life"
"Brooke needs to be in hospital"
"Brooke needs to 'be under' for 11 hours"
"Brooke needs some female friends"
"Brooke needs to leave all three of them alone and decided things about her own life"
"Brooke needs an actual story line"
"Brooke needs some serious counseling" (lol XD)
"Brooke needs professional help (Dr DooDoo)" (XD)
"Brooke needs blood" (O.o)
"Brooke needs change for a dollar"
"Brooke needs to discover what is going on and who the killer is before she ends up like her sister. dead."
"Brooke needs constant care"
"Brooke needs to be marketed and sold to a teenage audience" (O__o)
"Brooke needs to get ahold of herself and emotions and go on a nice vacation"
"Brooke needs to find new cheerleaders, because the old ones apparently when on strike with the players"
"Brooke needs to wear some clothes" (XD I have clothes)
"BROOKE NEEDS A NEW HOME"
"Brooke needs to break up with Josh" (we have to hook first lol XD)
"Brooke needs money now!" (YES!)
"A girl like Brooke needs a house alarm, a dog, a gun, and caller-ID blocking" (XD)
"Brooke needs to get over it or get some professional help"
"Brooke needs to take care of the puppy"
"Brooke needs somebody to chase her" (O.o)
"Brooke needs to die also!" (T-T)
"Brooke needs to forget"
"Brooke needs help because of her breakdown, and as of yet, she hasn't seen a doctor"
"BROOKE NEEDS AN IV TO GET ANITBOITICS INTO HER BLOOD"
"Brooke needs no excuse"
"Brooke nees a WAMBULANCE!!" (wtf O.o XD)
"Brooke needs me" (I do.)
"Brooke needs to wake up"
"Brooke needs more love"
"Brooke needs you!!" (I do!!)
"Brooke needs to earn money and work for a new car"
"Brooke needs longtubes" ( O.o)
"Brooke needs coffee" (YES!!!)
"Brooke needs to come in here"
"Brooke needs a gym bag"
"Brooke needs anti-depressants" (lol maybe XD)
"Brooke needs a nickname"
"Brooke needs to be take and stripped by myself" ( O__O)
"Brooke needs Sam" (hmmm...)
"Brooke needs him more than she needs her"
"Brooke needs new ballet shoes"
"Brooke needs to be sultrier" (O.o)
"Brooke needs therapy" (maybe xDD)
'Brooke needs to jump off the Hypocrite Express soon"
"Brooke needs to go bye bye!" (O_o)
"Brooke needs to be slapped"
"Brooke needs to see her tits" (no, i don't....)
Laugh for me.
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Impersonality
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2005 27 November :: 11.46am
:: Mood: blah
you know, i've been disappointed in myself lately, but i don't have a reason for it. at all. there's just something i can't shake...
have you realized that if we all were completely honest we'd all hate eacher other? why?
yeah i think i'm just talking nonsense...
anyhoo, i got this weird book thing in teh mail about info on people to people and they were talking about japan and sadly a lot of of the info they told you i already knew... that's kinda cool but like.. i don't know...i think i'm going to go sleep soon. bye.
Laugh for me.
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Impersonality
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2005 25 November :: 8.40pm
:: Mood: lonely
:: Music: Jimmy Eat World - Your New Aesthetic
but it takes more than one person, so everyone jump on
"He makes me happy. Don't let him know that, though."
Laugh for me.
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Impersonality
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2005 24 November :: 12.02am
:: Mood: pleased
damn i wish i could sing like Hakuei <.< <333
hm well i really don't have much to talk about but i always say that and then end up talking about crap...
so woah.. took a nap when i got home, around 3:30, woke up at 8 xDDD I had these weird dream in the school and there was like a skie lodge or something, and then we were riding in lazy boy charis through the school o.o
I was attacked by the year book staff!! AHH! they took a picture of me!! no damnit >.< NO!! *cries*
tomorrow is thanksgiving! it doesn't feel like it though, when it comes to this holiday i'm pretty much indifferent... i'd rather just lay around though instead of having to go eat and stuff... hm... yeah.. lazybitch...
All i ate today was CRAP! i'm so mad... when i woke up i had coffee as usuall, and then in 2 period the teacher had left over doughnots he shared with us! with milk too! i felt really bad that i didn't do my homework in that class afterwards ;_; and THEN we made Ice cream in science class >.< it was good though but you have to use rock salk to make it and now there's salt on my hoodi <.< and THEN in 8th period, my studay hall, i go to the art room, he gave me a COOKIE. >.< FREAK'N CRAP! it was funny thought, the teacher was like "Brooke, who's cute?" and i'm just like "um.." and he was like "you are" that is flattering and funny and creepy all in the same time <.< my friend says he's a perv XDD and then when i got home i had a rice crispy treat... >.< i'm so made at myself for eating all that junk... well at lunch i had water though ^^;; and i had a little orange.. um.. i forget what they're called..some lady's name... Clementines.. yeah.. that's it...
I want my music... damn... jrock defficiency going on here...i'm starving for it... >.< it must come in the mail <.< well yesterday my dad said my bang-doll cd's shipped.. so that's good
I WANT AN 80'S DANCING FLOWER TOY YO! and a BUMBLE BALL! those things kicked ass... and i want Madsen's cd xDD German w00t w00t
um... that's it. Hugs?
I can kill you with my brain...
1 audible grin |
Laugh for me.
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impersonality
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2005 20 November :: 10.10pm
My angst tastes like...
Black Licorice
Find your angst's flavor
Unique and difficult to place, your angst finds its source in something you keep hidden. You have something serious and possibly traumatic, but you try to hide it from everyone and just tell them to ignore you when you seem troubled, that everything's really OK. You might think that you have good reasons for not telling people, and some of them may in fact be true, but most likely a lifetime of keeping your secrets has led to a resolution fortified by rationalization that nobody else can shake simply because you never give them a chance. Ask yourself if it would really be that horrible to open up to others; nobody says you have to do it all at once, even. But you should at least try getting out of your shell a little. It's not healthy to internalize everything and conceal it. Anyway, if people really care for you, and they probably do, then they'll be loving and supportive regardless of any reason to the contrary.
Laugh for me.
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impersonality
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2005 20 November :: 9.53pm
Everything that occurs around you (the good things and the bad things) are all your doing
1 audible grin |
Laugh for me.
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impersonality
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2005 20 November :: 9.37pm
:: Mood: anxious
:: Music: Guilty Gear Isuka - Drunkard Does Make Wise Remarks
hmm i dun have much to say .. well.. lots of stuff happened this weekend but i'm kinda too tired to really explain the details, but i guess i'll try anyway. so saturday was my interview and it when very well IMO. I met a girl, Amber, there who likes anime and draws anime and likes pocky and stuff so i got her screen name but i haven't seen her on yet. And Suicide called me and it was all awesome and stuff. lol. (<33 you) and i talked to josh very very briefly. today i got my dad to order my good report card reward, Bang-Doll's Kuu cd, and i bought their Bang'em All cd myself and payed for the shipping, if i get those next week or so i should have them about the same time Hell Bound Heart arrives, and i REALLY want it! >.< i get a poster and limited edition dvd!!! maybe they did that thing that some places do when they ship so it comes on the day it's released, if that's the case then i shall have it by mid week. Also, the Bang'em All cd comes with a dvd and from the looks of it i think they are like 2 PV's... YES...oh... jrock...*inhales it* And i'm excited to finish my I-no project in art. I'm so proud of it, i never thought my hands could produce something so good. yeah i know i'm being vain but i've never used colored pencils in such a way before, it makes me happy because i'm not good at much else.. Humes is great but it's starting to get creepy when he calls me cute. anyway, yeah.. so.. besides all of that there isn't too much... i wonder if i'll ever get to see josh again? that crap is probably going to go to court and stuff... shit... maybe it was a cosmic lesson. who knows... well, das ist allas....auf wiedersehen...
Laugh for me.
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Impersonality
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2005 14 November :: 10.32pm
:: Mood: melancholy
:: Music: PENCILLIN - Urutoraidaa (Ultrider)
armageddon ga semaru
i love you.
Laugh for me.
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Impersonality
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2005 12 November :: 8.26pm
:: Mood: sad
:: Music: Dir en grey - Berry
pouring out the dark red ice cream
so what's up you? i'm a total freak on a stick :D
so yesterday was shelby's party (really, lol @_@) which was pretty fun. at first i was kinda nervous because i didn't know half the people and stuff.. but it was okay. Amber kept trying to video record me and she was chasing me around and she was all "Brooke is gonna hate me" but then i sheilded myself with Lucas and that was the end of that :D I was playing Katamari Damacy and a bunch of people were just watching in awe at it's wonderful weirdness. and then i was playing magic pengel (aka the doodle game) and i tried to draw shelby and it looked really funny and then one of her friends drew a giant penis on her xDDD
today my mom dragged me to pittsburg with her to a bead show, the car ride was crazy. 2.5 hours each way >.< while we were actually there it was kinda boring and made worse by the fact that i was sleepy, i had a headache from being in a room with tons of people and i was slightly nausiated because of the heat in the room. for a little while i had to step out and stay in the lobby (it was at some holiday inn) which made me feel better but i went back in to be with my mom, she was gonning to let me get something and there was some stuff that was cool but i lacked the desire of actually 'wanting' it so i didn't get anything.. the way back i mostly listened to music and slept. my mom thanked me a lot for going saying i helped a lot but all i really did was read directions off of a paper :O
anyway i'm really bored and i feel like a crappy person so someone please come entertain me : )
Laugh for me.
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impersonality
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2005 7 November :: 8.09pm
:: Mood: blah
:: Music: PENICILLIN - Make Love
to no one in particular:
I Love You More Today
Than Yesterday:
Yesterday You Really Pissed Me Off.
Laugh for me.
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impersonality
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2005 6 November :: 1.36pm
:: Music: The WHite Stripes - My Doorbell
i was thinking about my doorbell and when you're gonna ring it
well, i don't have much anything important to say, or perhaps i just don't have the energy to search my mind to find, or maybe i just don't want to share :P
so... I will just say some random stuff and you're going to just deal with it XP
- in the mornings when i wake up i usually have a headache.
- often in the mornings i also feel like crying
- i had a dream last night with a pink water fountain
- even though i've showered yesterday and the day before i still have red marker on my arm <.<
- on time i had a dream that i was Jesus crusified, and i'm not religious o.o
- when people i don't know too well talk to me i get suspicsious that they're trying to trick me into something or are otherwise trying to get a laugh at my expense.
- lately one thing has been on my mind
- nurses are kinky XD
- people in cars often stare at me when they drive by for like no reason I'm aware of.
- there is so such thing as too much candy
- our lawn of weeds is greener than our neighbor's grass <.<
- the end
1 audible grin |
Laugh for me.
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Impersonality
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2005 5 November :: 7.21pm
:: Mood: distressed
:: Music: The Horrorpops - Walk Like a Zombie
all the flowers you bring are always dead
Dad: Brooke, come here for a second
Me: Yeah?
Dad: Can you read that sign on the house directly across the street?
Me: No, I can't read it. Why?
Dad: I was just wondering. I can't read it either, but I wonder what it says.
Me: We should find out.
Dad: We will later. We'll either drive up real close or we'll get the binoculars
XD
Laugh for me.
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