phil-himself
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2009 18 September :: 12.25am
This thread sucks, prove me wrong.
5 zoos are out of control |
If Giraffes Could Fly.....
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phil-himself
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2009 14 September :: 6.24pm
From spike's Top 10 White Trash Heroes of Cinema
1. That's right. Luke Skywalker. Before the sci-fi haters come out of the woodwork to crucify me, take a deep breath and listen to my reasoning. Here are some of the things we know about Luke:
* He lives on a patch of dirt in the middle of nowhere
* He has lots of beat-up vehicles in his front yard
* He's a greasemonkey
* He likes to make out with his sister
* He lives with his aunt and uncle ‘cause his dad killed his mom
Luke Skywalker is the classic definition of white trash. And, by definition, he is the prototypical redneck. Keep in mind he lived in a galaxy far, far away eons before we earthlings even climbed out of our evolutionary puddle.
If anything we should love Luke more, not less. He's the classic example of pulling oneself up by one's bootstraps. Luke is the poster child for Republicanism – and, at the same time, embodies liberal ideals. He could give Obama a real run for his money and kick McCain's ass at the same time – with no hands, to boot.
In the end, Luke is proof that it's not the vehicle you drive or the parents you have, but what's inside that makes a true hero. Although it doesn't hurt if you have a lightsaber and a robotic hand.
If Giraffes Could Fly.....
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phil-himself
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2009 11 September :: 9.32pm
Imperfection is an opportunity to be better.
2 zoos are out of control |
If Giraffes Could Fly.....
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phil-himself
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2009 8 September :: 5.38pm
You now hear the voice of Coach John McGuirk
If Giraffes Could Fly.....
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phil-himself
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2009 8 September :: 12.45pm
Jonathon the zombie, he likes turtles.
If Giraffes Could Fly.....
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sugarjackj
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2009 4 September :: 9.50pm
Ughhhhhhh
WTF?
I. feel. so. damn. silly.
Not in a way I enjoy either.
Gahhhh
Why didn't I get to go on my date with Mr. Dreamy?
He sat outside for a few minutes and I didn't hear him. And thanks to being poor, I have no phone for him to get ahold of me on.
Thanks life. You win again....
1 zoos are out of control |
If Giraffes Could Fly.....
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spud
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2009 2 September :: 1.07pm
A joyful meandering that wound up being about driveway hockey.
i had just gotten up today, and gone to the bathroom for a solid B.M. the bathroom window was open, and outside it sit the garbage/yard waste/recycle bins. all of a sudden i hear someone walk up alongside our garage, and open up one of the bins. i had finished at this point, and was blowing my nose for good measure. so, the person getting into our recycling heard me and said, "oh, hey, just dropping off some cereal boxes and milk cartons." i recognized Valerie's (the neighbor) voice, and said, "yeah, have at it. the trash is kinda full, though." it was just a very odd way to start my day off.
in other news: happy september! the weather's gorgeous, and the air smells crisp and clean.
:: sorry, neighbor came over to smoke a ciggy ::
what was i saying? eh, whatever.
i should play disc golf again. i made it out there quite a bit the first half of summer, but i haven't played in several weeks. I guess it has been overtaken by driveway hockey, which is honestly a better workout, but you really pay for the next day.
it's actually a lot of fun. we have a net that bruce built, and they spray painted a crease to go in front of it. the garage door is about 2 feet behind the net, so there is some playable space back there, just like the real deal. The rest of the rink is surrounded by short wooden boards to hold the puck in. the rules have been adapted - obviously - to suit our needs, and there's a continual evolution there, but the gameplay itself remains pretty much the same. we have three offensive players (a center and two wingers), a defenseman, and a goalie. the three offense and the defender will rotate positions after every goal. goalies rotate every 30 minutes (the mishmash of homemade pads takes a while to put on). it's like a full-time 3-on-1 rush, but since we suck so bad, sometimes it's still tough to get a puck to drop. even still, if you pepper 'im long enough, something's bound to go through eventually.
here are the basic rules:
> no high sticking (we're out there in our tennis shoes for pete's sake. we don't want to cart anyone to the hospital)
> no cross-checking (same reason)
> no slapshots (or we'll have to listen to the goalies bitch. loudly.)
> the center has to pass before anyone can shoot
> if the puck goes over the boards and out of play, it counts as "clearing the defensive zone," and the offensive players must go back to their start positions (marked with chalk)
> if any of the offensive players are not in their start positions when the center starts the puck, the play is "offside" and must be reset.
> if a defenseman clears the puck over (or through) the fence and into the neighbor's yard, it's a two-minute minor penalty. since the power play has yet to fail, it's pretty much a death knell. although, bruce once killed off 1:56 of the penalty before they scored on him. that's the current record to beat.
they typically like having new people try it out. kevin and masa joined in this past sunday, and i think they had a good time. so hit me up if you're interested. there's no set day that we do it, so it's kinda random. we usually play from mid-afternoon 'til dark.
3 zoos are out of control |
If Giraffes Could Fly.....
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phil-himself
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2009 27 August :: 12.21pm
Mark Twain Had a Grisly Sense of Humor
In 1863, San Francisco newspapers reported endlessly on the cooked books and financial trickery of mining outfits, and the San Francisco news outlet Territorial Enterprise advised investors to instead put their capital consisting of plague-ridden blankets and Buffalo nickels into San Francisco utility companies. Not out of financial responsibility, or anything; the utility companies were paying several papers bribes for reporting the tips. Still, most people didn't realize what was going on, they just read story after story to the tune of "Oh my God, investing in utilities is so good, you guys."
Read more..
If Giraffes Could Fly.....
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outsyder18
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2009 25 August :: 11.47pm
Best Text Messages
(971): I have two black x marks on my hands.
(503): Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
(971): damnit I wish I could remember that.
(330): I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome
(508): awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
(1-508): you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
(724): also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
(714): we're chasing vodka with high fives
(559): Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
(310): i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
(704): We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
(919): If you're joking I'm going to be sad
(541): my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
(404): What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
(303): We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
If Giraffes Could Fly.....
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skife
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2009 24 August :: 9.12pm
i hate "reality" tv.
these stupid love shows.
8 zoos are out of control |
If Giraffes Could Fly.....
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phil-himself
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2009 22 August :: 12.17am
Inglorious Basterds is absolutely glorious
2 zoos are out of control |
If Giraffes Could Fly.....
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phil-himself
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2009 21 August :: 6.31pm
This is what happens when little kids try to bug me in online games
4 zoos are out of control |
If Giraffes Could Fly.....
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