Thank you, faceless child.
I hate Spanish.
I hate buses.
I hate homework.
I hate Zach.
I hate people.
I hate myself for hating.
And I hate how I can't do a thing about it.


Today I found out that I'm failing Spanish, and it's only the THIRD week of school. I don't even know how that's possible to be failing so early in the school year. x_x Stupid Spanish.

...This is my first year in a language-class besides English. Yes, I took Reading classes until the 8th grade. o_o It's not as bad as it sounds.. I guess.

Anyway: You already know why I hate buses.
My experience with them never turn out right. ...NEVER....

I hate homework. Self-explanatory.

I hate Zach. He gave me his phone number, AGAIN, because he asked me why I didn't call him last night. I paniced and said: "Um... because....I lost it." Well, much that did. Now I'm just in deeper poo because now he thinks I wanted to call him. x_x. I DON'T. I WANT TO JUST MAKE HIM GO AWAY.

...But I can tell that won't be happening any time soon. Maybe I can get Maki to say something to him. o.o;;... Maki......Will you?
I know you're reading this. Respond.

....Oi.... I only hate some people. Now, it's mainly Zach. But I have other people whom right now I'm not so fond of.
Such as Jimmy. I don't know what's gotten over him. Or under him. ...Passed him. Yeah, passed him. Well, anyway. Ever since the Zach-guy introduced himself, Jimmy has been acting not-so-Jimmy-like. I can't even express it in words. All I can say is that there has been some obvious mutalation to his personality.

And futher more, I hate myself for making me hate all these things. Am I over reacting? O_o I hope not. Poo... I want to drown all my troubles. Or melt like chocolate on a hot day, and sink through into the vents. Never to be seen again.

...It's been so long since I've talked to certain people. Hiei. Wow. Haven't talked to him in at least a month. x_x And now that I've typed out that slab of truth, it hurts.
I can only blame myself. Or blame nothing. Nothing is good. And maybe I don't want to know the truth. Maybe just waiting endless hours at the bottom of the sink for the rest of my life.

Who knows.

...And finally....
I hate how all I can do is sit and watch my life rip right under my fingers.


cheerio.

Ack.
All right. Today was awful. x_x
This one dude at my bus stop, who's name I believe is Zach or something keeps doing weird little things to me. I don't even know what's so weird about them. They just don't feel right. He's too....friendly, maybe? I don't know. But it's now become really uncomfortable at the bus. And the worse part is, Jimmy is NO help with this. In fact, he's decided to make a joke out of me and thinks this Zach-guy is hitting on me. I don't think he is. At least I hope he's not. I hate these types of plights.

You know what, I'm going to sound like one of those stupid questions asked in almost every magazine on the rack that has to deal with problems and such, but hey, I might as well continue my pace of talking like an idiot. I seem to be on a roll. But anyway:

...I have no idea what to do. He gave me his phone number. I don't want to call him. o_o;
I don't even want to talk to him, let alone see him. It's not his fault. I think. But it's not mine either. He's pushy. And, as stated before, too friendly. I mean, he just introduced himself out of the blue less than a week ago, and now: Boom! A few days pass and he acts like he's known me all my life.

Stupid bus! Curse your stupid assigned seats and whatnot! Curse your dumb ideals on bus crashing-preventions! Curses to your dumb, uncomprehenable route which makes me stand outside at 6:50 AM and wait almost a half an hour for you to arrive! And mostly, curses to that Zach-kid for making me feel so...undesirably awkward.

...I hate the bus. But it's not the bus' fault. I still hate it. Can I do that? Bus. Oh, bus. Why?

...


...Anyway. If anyone knows how to make situations like this just disapear out of the sky, ((which sadly, I doubt someone does)) please don't hesitate to tell me. For I could really use that information right about now.



...................................................................
There's something about this entry that doesn't feel right. But due to my lack of time and motivation to restart, you'll have to settle for garbage.

................cheerio......

Updation is not a word.
I don't know what to do with myself these days. I was so frustrated on trying to find something to do that I just gave up... Took the easy way out, I suppose. I want to curl up in a ball and just wait for everything to be done and over with. Then pick up my life again. Point-blank. You know...? You know. But the easy way out isn't for me. No. That path is too crowded because everyone seems to want to take "the easy road."
Well, then in that case I suppose I'll need to find a new lane. One fresh, new, and empty. One that isn't blocked by much, but isn't in clear view of the eye either. Something that's right in front of you, but you still need to focus in to see it.

"They" say money makes the world go 'round. I disagree completely. Money is what makes the world freeze in utter chaos. And frankly I'd like money a lot more if I didn't have any.

...Okiee. That was a bit off-course of me to say. But it feels wrong deleting it, hence it stands.

Wow. And there's my day in a box.

Cheerio.

non
Au pays des aveugles les borgnes sont rois.

Would you rather live in a haze of stupidity, blinded by the truth and be happily all through life, or know the truth and live in cold reality until the day you die...?
Oi...

Not much has happen lately.
In fact, nothing has happened.
I think I'll be switching journal-sites though. One of Maki's online friends ((whom she has yet to introduce me too....::hunch::...)) pulled through and is giving Maki a journal at LiveJournals.com. Therefore, in a week when the code-thing shall be generated, lucky me will have one as well. Which I don't really see the point in. I like this journal, and I don't see why having another site host it would change anything. I'll probably end up never writing in it. Either that or ceasing my updates for this one. And if that's to happen, I'll add a link somewhere along this page.

Eh... Bedtime. School. 5:25 is when my alarm goes off.... So, to translate:

Cheerio.

Watch the blood run down her face, but don't take notice. And watch the blood run down her arms. Please don't take notice.
Wow. How long has it been since I last updated?... A while. I've been busy. Please accept that as an excuse which covers me being too lazy to update as well. High School, like Jimmy said, was a bit overrated. It wasn't hardly as bad as I thought it would be. In fact, it's better than I would have thought. At least better than my old school. It was just too bright in there. Picture neon yellow caught in your eyes wall to wall, floor to floor, step with step, everyday. I'm surprised no one went blind.

Anyway, good new to people who care: My scanner will be fully functional by sometime this week. ((Elaboration: I can send my pictures.)) To all who don't care, I've just succeded in wasting approximately three seconds of your life.

...And now my IMs are gathering past my limit to where I can't complete two tasks at once. Erm... Which means I'm ending this entry.





Wow. This entry sucked. o_o;

Cheerio.

"to climb the wall in vain and capture back my chain of lilles and remains."
You know what, this is a really good song...

Eh, I don't have much time for this entry, so I'll just have to post a quick update.

-Jimmy didn't make football.
-Nor is he upset about it.
-In fact... I think he's happy.
-Maki did make JV feild hockey.
-She's driving me through endless conversations on how easy it was to make it, and how "I should have tried it."
-I start school on Monday
-I'm as nervous as a hairless monkey about to be dipped into a coat of caramel pudding.
-Jimmy, Toby, Maki and Kat aren't nervous. Truth is, they're bent on making fun of me because I'm the only one who is. Well, Toby hasn't made fun of me, yet, but everyone else has. o_o; Shame on you all.
-I still haven't gotten any school supplies.
-I think my dad wants me to use my old backpack...but little does he know there's a hole at the bottom of it, so lucky me; I get to carry my books.
-Mock ran away....again.
- ...I'm nervous now for no reason...
- And I've just finished this list because everything else in my life isn't good enough to say.


....Cheerio.

"My sad excuse for a contribution to Day"
All righty... The past couple of days I've done nothing but wallowing in my own puddle of egoistc nonsense which Day has happily built me. Explanation shall follow as so:

(( I hope she doesn't mind me posting this. o_o; ))

DayoOfTheMafia: I admire Renee for everything. She is unique in the way she thinks, straying from the path that all of us choose to take, knowing only what she knows and believing in it - the way she sees things in a different light that just wows me. I admire that she is funny, very humorous in everything she says and does. I admire her creativity - the way she can sound so innocent yet smart - the way she puts things in words and ways I cannot, that even though she is 14-years-old, she speaks with maturity when needed. I admire that she's interesting in everything she does and says - not to mention she's incredibly cute/adorable. Renee is my role-model. :]

Things to remember:
-Day was not paid to say this-
-Nor was she pleaded to, or begged-
-She was not beat up or stabbed to say these words, either-
-Day was not held captured in a fortress on the outskirts of town awaiting some form of super-hero to come and rescue her, but the catch was that she had to repeat what you see above in order to be saved.-
-I need to repay Day back for saying this in some way, because I feel bad just repeating the words "thank you" over and over again.-
And finally...
-Find out what and why I'm serving in some kinda jury against sess on August the 23rd.-

o_o; I really need to find more out about things before agreeing to them. Oh well.. I'm sure it's nothing. Or something. Something which will later resolve into nothing. Or nothing which will become something, which will drive me to believing I have not the slighest idea on what I'm talking about now, and bringing up the idea that I need to shut up.

And on that note, I think I'll just be leaving.
Cheerio...

"Hell is paved with good samaritans."
All right... Haven't updated in four days. In fact, the only reason I'm updating now is today I found out I had a devoted reader besides Maki, who only trys to point out my errors, and then laugh at me for it. ...o_o...
And she enjoys every minute of it. Anyway, thank you Day for making me feel less of a loser for spending time on this journal-thing. In the beginning I thought making this would be pretty stupid of me, but I think that feelings kind of fading away...


Anyway, I need to think of things to say. Or at least find a link to direct you to some form of entertainment. Eh... I was allowed to go to Jimmy's football pratice today. It's funny watching him. He has no eye-hand cordination whatsoever. Plus, he runs like a one-legged rabbit. I don't even know why he tried out because as soon as he got off the feild he screamed "I suck." ...Which, to be honest, he did. Compared to the other people there, at least. Picture a bunch of beef-cans rolling down a hill. Those were the other guys at Jimmy's pratice. Then picture a baby-food jar with a dent in the lid. That's Jimmy. It was sad. u_u

Enough about that, now. Maki wanted me to go to her feild hockey pratice, but it was at noon and really hot, so I just stood on top of the hill and tried to see what was going on. I don't even know the rules to that game yet alone know the object or point to it. Whacking a neon-orange ball with a stick... Can't be too hard. Right? O.o

Ten more days left of summer. A lot of people I know from online though are all ready in school. Ashmo, Akira, Ammy, and Noshi are in school at this time. But I guess that's because they started the summer before me.

Okiee, I'm boring myself. And I'm sorry if I'm boring you. Not much I can think of to say right now... Eh, Filth is a good song. If anyone has ever followed up on my word to download Dir en Grey, tyou. For those who didn't, shame. They're a good band.

I downloaded 9.0 a few days ago. I think they overrated it by a lot. It's not much better than 8.0. In fact, if I had to choose one, I'd probably pick 8.0

And now I plan to fill the rest of this entry with pointless results to pointless quizzes which I take for pointless reasons at any given pointless day.



Fight Club!


What movie Do you Belong in?(many different outcomes!)
brought to you by Quizilla


o.o; Has anyone ever seen this movie?... I haven't. See, and the word "pointless" lives to it's rank once more.



you are either a record nerd or not a scenester at
all. you are the coolest of the bunch. bravo,
dude.


what type of lame scenester are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


"Hurrah."

...And now I'm being too distracted by IMs to finish any other quizzies, so I guess I'll just end here.


Cheerio.

...I thought up a really catchy saying to place here. Then I forgot it. ...sorry...
Eh, I've been punished the last few days. ((If anyone had noticed)) I can't tell you why because not even I know the reasoning to it. All I can say is that not many people care anymore. And I'm using "care" to generalize everything there is to replace it or connect to it. "Nobody cares about __((blank))__." Fill it in, or leave it blank. Either way it pretty much speaks for itself. Three simple, short words. Nobody cares anymore. And I can't even say they ever have. Come to think of it, I don't think they have.

The only sorce of communication I've had within the past few days were with Jimmy. We've been flinging notes each other's window. Even with him halfway out the window with his arms out, all attempts failed poorly. ((He lives two house down, so now the people whom live inbetween our two homes have about 15 paper balls and half a pencil on their front yard.)) ...They're townhouse... so it's not like our plan was impossible, right? In fact, I thought it was a pretty good plan...

...And now I'm off. The number on my away message-thing has now reached around 30-something. I think that means someone probably has something important to tell me. Either that, or they're just as bored as I am.

Cheerio.

You can hide yourself behind a drastic facade, but its known to be disasterous.
Another round-about of pointless quizzes:


clear hearts grey flowers: someone is really blind
to one fact, and you saw it the whole time.
you're true to yourself.


which jack off jill song are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


[Other Voices] i Live with
Desertion - and Eight Million
People.

More often then not, you feel alone and hungry for
something with substance. Whats the point of
talking to people who will never relate?


What Cure Song Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla


Departure-yes, you weirdo-Departure.
what did you so that the god's hate you so much as
to give you psychological nightmares?


Which Bauhaus Song Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla


You are "Kalidescope". You are unique and
creative to boot, but if anyone calls you
weird, kick 'em square in the ass because
you'll be a revolutionary some years later.


What Siouxsie and the Banshees Album are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


Great Job! I'm impressed. You truly are an Alice
In Chains fan! *shakes your hand* Layne is
proud!


*How well do you know Alice In Chains?*
brought to you by Quizilla

All right. This entry was kind of....stupid...
My apologize. o.o;

Cheerio.

2 spat | spit it out

"Renuzit"
Thanks to Jimmy, I've been hooked on this song for an hour now. He is obsessed with The Cure, and lent me one of their CDs. I was familar with their songs all ready, but just until this point I never realized how close they sound to Siouxsie and the Banshees. Then I found out that they had some collaboration around 1979, ((when Michael Dempsey, the guy on drums, was replaced.)) so I guess that explains the fact why they have similar features. Yeah... 19 more days until school starts. I haven't gotten any school things or anything of that sort yet, so I guess I'll be made to do that soon.

Last night my dad went on a rampage and unpluged everything in the house. o_o;
I wasn't in any position to ask questions, so I sat in my room, in the dark, doing nothing from 9:30 to whenever I fell asleep. Fun times, I tell you.

I found a store over the internet that sold a vast amount of different music and concert shirts. http://www.star500.com/ was it, if anyone cares. Now all I need is money... and somebody's credit card number.

All right then. I've run out of things to say, so I guess I'll just validate this entry with a bunch of senseless quiz results.

Which Gackt are you most like?

quiz by mcvarmazi

What's Your Inner Kyo?

In dreams, which way do you fall?
O.kiee, Jimmy and Kat are over right now. We can't think of anything to do, so here we are. Well, it's more like Kat and I can't think of anything to do. Jimmy is happily kung-fu fighting himself right now while trying to sing along with the song. It's a nice try, but he's failing. o_o;

If anyone cared about Mock's life, he did eventually come back. No thanks to Maki's advice, either. Speaking of her, Toby and Maki still think I have some chronic-depressing problem that we all need to sit down and "discuss." I don't know what's gotten into them, but I know they won't stop until they've reached some form of closure.

x_o... Jimmy keeps hitting Kat and I with the lacrosse ball he just discovered under the chair, so I'll just be going then in the case that Jimmy's "perfect aim" fails and hits the computer.

Cheerio. x.o/)

I bled for you. Now make it stop. ...please?
All right... I need to make this an offical statement for Toby and Maki, who's reasoning is beyond my comprehendsion. In fact, you can quote me on this: "I am not sad." There. o_o I know you two don't believe me, but it's worth a try, nevertheless.

And now for the ever-so popular nerd-test results and other assorted quiz answers:

take the nerd test.


and go to mewing.net. a nerd utopia.

I am Johnny the Homicidal Maniac.



Which Serial Killer are you? Take the Serial Killer Test

this is my way to live

What about yours?

made by rav-chan

I wanna turn the bathtub on and watch this house drown from the lawn.
...O.kiee. Here it is. 9:07. Didn't go to bed until 4 AM. So that's what? Five hours of sleep? O.o Better than nothing.


I added music, if it isn't obvious all ready. It's from one of Miyazaki's Flims...but I can't remember which one. I'll probably be looking for something else to play here though, since this really doesn't fit the whole "Flamingo-theme" that seems to be taking it's place here.

...Or maybe I'll just change the whole Flamingo-thing to something else. o.O

I was looking for the song derived from another song Elliot Goldenthal created, which is the same song played at the beginning of "Interview with the Vampire." But we can all see how that turned out.


To be blunt, I'm just going to post these random quiz results and end this entry. o_o...so.....yeah:


Your soul came from the Bowels of HELL! You're a
demon preying on the mortals of Earth. BACK TO
HELL WITH YOU!


Where Did Your Soul Originate?
brought to you by Quizilla

o_o... If you say so.


A bloody gruesome death. You're most likely a self-
mutilator. You like the burning sensation you
get as your skin gives way to the blade and
watching as the rivers of blood flow down your
arm and onto the bathroom floor. You don't
really care HOW you end up killing
yourself...just as long as you're dead in the
end and there's a mess for people to clean up.
After all, they deserve it anyway right? And
you like whatever is convenient at the time for
you...so there's no real planning to be done.


What Form Of Suicide Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla


o.o; Ouch.

And this entry will go unfinished because, well, I don't feel like taking any more quizzes. o_o

Cheerio myself.