hiei
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2004 12 May :: 5.23pm
:: Mood: content
:: Music: Legend of Mana Main Theme
I Live.
Just checking in.. I'm still alive. The convention went good etc. etc. E-mail me or something for further info. Cheerio.
5 spat |
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SepiaFlamingo
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2004 10 May :: 8.11pm
:: Mood: content
:: Music: "Light My Fire" - The Doors
Disatisfaction of my concocted flame.
Scott's disappointing me, and he knows it. What disappoints me the most is I think he doesn't care that he's disappointing me. He says he doesn't know anymore, but I do. I do, and I don't think I'm going to tell anyone. Alex has been giving me odd looks, and I think he knows, too. I pray to anything up there not. I don't want to end up like my mother. I don't want to be another brick in the wall, either. Right now, though, I'm not even that. Hiccup my hibiscus hotel from its roots of metal and stain the walls white until they're a bloody taste of steel. Potential revolution made itself comfy on my couch.
2 spat |
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SepiaFlamingo
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2004 8 May :: 9.24pm
:: Mood: calm
:: Music: "Venus in Furs" - Siouxsie and the Banshees
Rough Draft.
The Odyssey I walk through is being delicately, but deliberately, distasteful. I expected my journal to be gone by now, but to my surprise, as we all can see, it still stands. I take this reason enough to send in the money to keep this collection of my insides in the form of words. Now all I'm lacking are stamps, an envelope, and motivation to ascend to the mailbox.
spit it out
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Hiei
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2004 4 May :: 10.03pm
:: Mood: content
:: Music: Legend of Mana Main Theme
Ya ha.
Been a fun few days, don't feel like typing I don't want to be on the computer. I want to get away from all the troubles of Clemons and Yusuke and girls bothering me, just sleeping makes me happy. I'm making this short because I want to go somewhere, not here. Just to get away. Me and Omi are going down town, huge convention. I'm going as the 2nd hokage, Omi's going as the 1st. We worked kind of hard on them.. I'm sure it will be fine. That's it, that's all, there isn't anymore.
4 spat |
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Hiei
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2004 24 April :: 1.55am
:: Mood: content
:: Music: Legend Of Mana Main Theme
Da ta Baiyo.
Exams are over and summer vacation is right around the corner.. Meaning a part time job is on its way. Yea that is no good but from here to then, it will be smooth sailing. The work in class has dropped down and I have a long line of field trips coming up. Only thing I have to worry about at this point is Kendo, my Master has obviously been going easy on me lately even though I've been "focused." Now's the time I really dig deep into Kendo, I have to if I'm going to keep up. I plan on staying at the dojo extra hours and all, especially since I'm doing that volenteer work over the summer. Riyu is going to visit his family in Korea in a few weeks, that leaves me and Omi. We've finished our whole "Exciting Fantastic Wonderous Time While Riyu Is Gone" schedule, it's great. We're going to the Disney place, the Konami building, Tokyo Tower, and some other stuff. We're going to Akira Toriyama's house too, we been there but this time we're sneaking in.. Haa.. Er, that's all. Yakatta.
8 spat |
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SepiaFlamingo
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2004 21 April :: 9.03pm
:: Mood: bouncy
:: Music: "The Walk" - The Cure
Robert Smith's Birthday. Everybody put on their fake smiles and smoke your words to clouds.
No sunshine jelly tonight, just sweet-simpled updates:
Whew. Yesterday I won't even bother reporting. Scott and his 4/20 rituals left my clothes and hair smelling worse than a heavily populated urban area's dump on a hot day. I know now to better off just stay home. Or rather, in my closet being how my house smelled no different...
Onward, I get to bake a cake Friday! Or more accurately, I get to help bake a cake. Come to think of it, I'm not sure just what type of cake it is, but I probably wont eat any of it anyway seeing how I'm suppose to be making it for Alex. I promised him I'd make it if he kept the lead on the 4x4 relay, and he did, so cake it is. He'll be coming over when I'm done, (( however long it takes to bake a cake )) and we're suppose to watch some movie of his I've never heard of.
Saturday morning I'll be running if it's nice outside. It's a really nice trail that I'll go on with Ryan, Stevann, and Ammy. Maybe Corinne, but I need to ask her if she's up to it. Apparently the trail is 3.5 miles and leads to a swimming pool when you take a left by that Tarrot-Card place.
Saturday afternoon-night I have plans to go to Kelly's((some girl I barely know)) surprise birthday party, but I'm not sure how dedicated I am on that. Plus, I have no money to buy her a gift and would have to make her some cheap-homemade card and necklace to go with it.
Sunday...I'm not doing anything on Sunday yet. I'll probably sit at home all day on the computer, like what I'm doing right now.
Monday is my birthday. Nothing much to build with that. I'll get a card from my grandmother saying how proud she is of me for turning seven, and a lighter from my dad congradulating my 23rd with him scolding me on why I'm not out of the house by now. Or at least that's how it went last year...
And finally, this journal will be going to pieces since, as stated before, I have no money and won't be paying the two-dollar fee. Unless some magical wonder from nowhere special accidently puts my name on their envelope, it's gone.
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SepiaFlamingo
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2004 17 April :: 9.12pm
:: Mood: discontent
:: Music: "Ashes to Ashes" - David Bowie
My directive has no fashion-sense
I'm sick of just ignoring people and expecting them to believe my half-minded excuse to why I didn't call or come over when I was suppose to. I'm sick of it, but I'm more sick of the people who I'm ignoring. I just can't grasp why in the world I even hang out with half the people I do anymore. And for those I actually like, I'm so use to just blowing everyone off that I'm hurting those I care for. With the exception of few, I have absolutely no one. And right now more than ever I'm feeling lonely. From my own cost, of course. I'm in complete view of what I've got and I'm tried of sulking with those that know me best. Seriously, the only people I hang out with anymore is, ((excluding internet relations)) Scott, Alex, and Corinne. For Jimmy and Kat... I don't know. We're just not "us" anymore. With all the new faces in my pool of socalism I don't feel like fishing out the good ones, so I sink farther down until the drain consumes my whole and I'm left typing away my troubles into a box of metal and wires. In all honestly, I'm about to just climb in a closet and never come out.
I put down the script a while ago.
So why do I feel I'm still living in hypocrisy?
And lastly, if anyone has the urge to send my two-dollar fee to keep this sad journal alive, please don't hesitate to do so.
2 spat |
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Hiei
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2004 16 April :: 1.22pm
:: Mood: content
:: Music: Legend of Mana Main Theme
Better days.
These past few days have not been so bad, everyone seems to have got the idea that I have no intention of speaking to them and I'm not as nervous as I was. I'm confident I'll pass, I study enough and that's all that matters. Omi and I went to the mall, that place gets more crowded everytime I go.. We played at the arcade, bought Naruto Part 5 and got something to eat. When we got home I played Onimusha 3, he watched. Riyu came over.. We are going to have a race to see who beats suikoden 4 first once it comes out. It was fun. We made plans to see the Naruto movie when it comes out too. I have not hung out with anyone for awhile, we've all been busy with exams so it was nice having a break. That's about it. Yakatta, da ta baiyo.
3 spat |
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Hiei
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2004 13 April :: 12.22pm
:: Mood: productive
:: Music: Legend of Mana Main Theme
A short calm after the Storm
First day or exams..gone. It was disgusting, I was trying to study while we were waiting for the entire sha-bang to begin but people kept trying to talk to me. Adolescence can be so incompetent, talking away like their futures don't depend on what they write on the paper about to be bestowed upon them... makes me sick. I knew some, but then there were ones I guessed on. At our break again, people tried to carry on a coversation with me. What people you ask? Just people I avoid, people I don't know. Girls, guys, cross-dressers.. All kinds, I nodded or gave them an un-interested "ok," "I see," or "possibly." Then I would tell them I had better ways to waste my time and I would get back to them when I felt like it. HA! -cough- Either that or I said the knowledge would slip from my ears if I didn't repeat my versus over and over through my brain which is fried to a crisp. I didn't go to cram school, getting hit by that little fan will screw up my brain patterns and cost me one too many answers. I must study now.. -repeats notes aloud like a mindless zombie-
2 spat |
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Hiei
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2004 11 April :: 8.08am
:: Mood: sleepy
:: Music: Legend Of Mana main Theme
Exams..
I have exams in a few hours, I'm a nervous reck. I didn't get any sleep I've been studying for hours.. Butterflys are fluttering from my gut, and on top of that I have to pay money to keep my account now. Atleast that's what the main page says. Damn it, I forgot who Lord Katsushige was.. -checks book- I knew that one. I knew that one! I'll never pass, I'll never go to college, I'll never be anyone but a worthless bum sleeping in a gutter while kids walking to school poke me with a stick and throw their garbage on me... Bah, that will never happen, I'll pass and still be the same person I am today, just got to keep a cool head.. I'm a clear blue cloud; I'm a clear blue cloud; I'm a clear blue cloud.. Hn, works everytime.
16 spat |
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Hiei
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2004 10 April :: 2.08am
:: Mood: content
:: Music: Legend Of Mana main Theme
Lost on the Road of Life
Lost..Lost on the road of life. The perfect excuse for being late. Everyone's going crazy with all the new stuff coming out this year. Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children and the Naruto movie. Been working hard, a lot of people have come to my store just for Naruto stuff because they were sold out every where else. I had my hands full for the first time at work.. My break was only 5 minutes, I ate Machi.. I was the only one there, my boss was on the phone and just told me to wing it and sell sell sell.. I suppose these sort of things are what keeps the run down place in business. Barely though.. Onimusha 3.. Awesome. That's about.. it.
1 spat |
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SepiaFlamingo
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2004 7 April :: 9.39pm
:: Mood: annoyed
:: Music: "Cut Here" - The Cure.
Two-Hundred pennies.
Apparently there's now a fee to keep this journal living. Is two-hundred pennies really worth my two-cents? I could easily just use Livejournal.com. I still have an account there, all I have to do is remember it. Alas, I've grown fond of this little work of mine and really don't want to see my efforts go in vain.
Decisions, decisions.
1 spat |
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Hiei
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2004 4 April :: 9.45am
:: Mood: content
:: Music: Legend Of Mana Opening Theme
Life.
Top of the Morning. Exams are right around the corner, I actually attended my cram school for the first and last time.. Dastardly place I must say. I've decided to plan something for my vacation. It's my dojo's program, they're looking for volenteers.. I signed up, we're going to Hokkaido. Atleast I'll be getting away.. My sensei says I should be doing my science work during then but I rather rot in the bowels of hell then do make up work. I fear for a few of my friends, I can tell they're heading down the wrong path and that they will regret it but I'm not sure what to do. Should I let them do it and allow them to learn from their mistakes despite what happens to them, or should I confront them? Bah, what am I saying, it's none of my business anyway.
3 spat |
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SepiaFlamingo
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2004 3 April :: 6.03pm
:: Mood: enthralled
:: Music: "Bike" - Pink Floyd
The Recher.
Blunt:
I went to The Recher last night with Scott.
We saw Species.
Who cover Pink Floyd.
They were nearly perfect in every song.
Very impressive.
A drunk man with a crooked beard asked for my number.
I told him I was nine so he'd leave.
And it worked.
We got back around 2:30 in the morning.
After arriving home, I got online and spoke with Ashmo.
Later, Alex called at 4:00 AM.
He wanted to watch "Prom Night" over Scott's.
So we did.
And all lived happily ever after.
5 spat |
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Hiei
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2004 4 April :: 2.25am
:: Mood: content
:: Music: Legend Of Mana opening Theme
Breif Return
It's early.. I thought I'd post just for Buda since I did kind of shut her out. Not like I regret it or anything... I've been working a lot more often lately, I needed the money. I've been studying my ass off, I sent another letter to Buda even though I didn't want to. Got to study for those exams, I just called it quits for my last study session. It's boring, I hate it. The material is beyond tedious. What is there to know in order to be a wanderer? I probably don't even need college but I suppose I'll end up having to spend the rest of my life in a cube in some big office waisting my life away in front of a computer screen even though that is what I am doing now.. Haaaa. I met a girl, a girl who hates me, she basically insulted my whole being. I think I have developed a crush on her. No I wouldn't call it a crush.. I admire her but I wouldn't want to be with her. That would be a lie if I said that.. She is pretty but I prefer to spend my time alone, you only live once. I have to study anyway, no time for girls. I've been putting my all into training and learning my katas. My master says I've been more focused lately. All I can think about right now is completeing everything I have to get finished so I can relax but the more I finish the more I have to do which brings me to the question: "Will it ever end?" No..It won't. I want to get away, go live in the wilderness for awhile, the people, the buildings... I just want to throw up when I see them. -cough- Anyway.. That's that. Farewell.
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