Shea's thoughts

:: 2008 17 March :: 2.07pm

i want to quit school.

really really bad.

i need to figure something else out that i could go to school for. i want to be a translator or something. blah ....

:: 2008 10 March :: 11.26pm
:: Mood: Tired

I didnt find her.

:: 2008 10 March :: 9.56pm

chemical imbalances...........

1 Added Water! | Do you want to see some drama?

:: 2008 9 March :: 3.34pm
:: Mood: crazy

I think I found John's stable buddy.

Cross your fingers.

:: 2008 2 March :: 10.10pm

so i had this dream that kevin, andy sischo, jay from high school with red hair, phil maas, and other people were walking around trying to kill me and justin bloss and other people with these lazer gun thingys and they had these things that zapped us and hurt like hell. it was terrifying.

stop trying to kill me! me and justin killed andy with a shovel. and sam hamilton tried to help me by telling me the code to shut off the lights.

:: 2008 22 February :: 3.52pm

i dont think you're supposed to feel this way for a couple years but even still, knowing that, i can't help but keep thinking about it.

i feel like it'd be the only thing i'd be good at. the only thing that would totally fufill me.

i can't even cry when i really really want to i think it's like shut off like a switch. it only allows about 4 tears to slip through.

:: 2008 21 February :: 1.40pm

so i honestly just fell asleep during my chemistry midterm. i mean it's not a huge deal since i still was able to finish it on time, but damn. i'm 99% sure that in the midst of my nap, i laughed outloud during the total silence because i was having some sort of dream thing and laughing at something roman said... it kind of jolted me out my sleep momentarily but yeah i'm pretty sure i did a snort/kind of laugh thing. embarassing. also my professor came up to me i'm not sure if that's what woke me up or if i just felt her presence and woke up on my own .... i was just like "sorry" and she was like "oh you're just takign a break" and I was like ummm yeah but i'm done so its okay...even though i wasn't.

i can't take school anymore. every test i take i just want to get done so bad i just fill in letters. god i'm so bad i know. i just ...........ugh i hate tests.

ughghghgh i seriously just want to quit school so bad. i want to! i have these major doubts i wont make it all the way through so why am i wasting my time now. what will happen if i get a bad grade in even ONE of my classes? i will lose my scholarship and then what? i have no idea. maybe roman and i should just move to ohio and he should work for his dad and make big bucks.

nah....

:: 2008 17 February :: 1.07am
:: Music: Sex and Candy - Marcy Playground

C'est la vie...

I have found my life to be chaotic but absolutely satisfying. I could say that I almost never have a moment to myself but then I would be lieing and that wouldnt be nice to do I do have moments to myslef I just spend them thinking about what homework needs to be done and how I am not going to get it done enen though I created a schedule to get it done over the weekend when in all actuality I could just get it started. But between working two jobs, chores, school, homwork and odd jobs that I pick up, which seem to be alot more right now which is quite spectacular, I really barely have enough time to sleep. But my eyes are so dried out and tired that I cannot see the screen anymore so ....

Later Gators

:: 2008 12 February :: 11.17am

i have ear infections in both my ears i want to just stay home and sleep so bad. i feel like crap because i have been sick for 2 weeks straight and now both my ears are all weird and i can't hear anything out of either of them ... all i hear is myself talking or breathing or whatever ahhhhhhhhh it's so annoying. this has been going on for 6 days but my other ear just started doing it yesterday. so now its both my ears which is really weird i have never heard of having ear infections in both ears. the worst part is when i sleep - i sleep on my stomach and it hurts no matter which way i lay my head because each ear hurts when i'm not laying it on the pillow ........ owwww

i called the doctor today but i dont know if they'll give me a prescription without going in there and i dont have time..

i have to go to school until 5:30 today and then i work at 6 until midnight and then tomorrow i have to open so i have to be there at 6:45 am but it is a short shift luckily

i'm so ready for break. i wish i was going on vacation..........

:: 2008 10 February :: 12.47pm

okay so eventful day already but i will try to just give the shorthand version

no heat in my car so that means no defrost so that means can't see

been driving it that way for like a week, was planning to have roman fix it today, ordered the part and everything

had to work at 9:45 this morning... left in my car i could see okay but not the greatest

got a little further on byron center and it was total white out and my windsheild and windows were icing over, it was really hard to see, i pulled over in the furthest lane and just sat there with my hazards on.

didn't know what to do but i knew i wasn't going to try to drive because the last time i drove in the wind blowing white out conditions i promised myself i would never do it again. i told my self i would sit there all day until a tow truck came and got me if i had to.

i drove a little bit further and pulled off the road on the side. i sat in my car with no heat for TWO AND A HALF HOURS.

MY BEST FRIEND EVER JESSIE HAZEN and he GREAT FIANCE RYAN came and got me because they are the greatest. they can vouch for me that the conditions were HORRIFIC!!!! when jess got out of the car 5 feet in front of me i oculdn't even tell if it was ryan or jess. that's how bad visibilaty was!

so ryan drove my car to the nearest parking lot and me and jess drove ryans car in front and jess bought me hand warmers cuz she's a sweetie so i could defrost my toes a little. lol i'm SO COLD still and this was like an hour ago

oh yeah and i called into work and this poor girl had to cover for me because fucking midnite sun and cruise is retarted and they dont give a SHIT about their employees and whether they are going to die or not. no one should be driving today! but they dont care. they need to keep their tanning salon open for the 2 customers that might come in today.

lastly... roman just called me and was lkike shouting in the background and stuff it really scared me but he told me a girls car flipped overr and there are tons of cars - at least 20 all collided and flipped and 2 semis smashed into each other and the girl's dog is in romans car right now because her's is flipped over. but he is okay but tons of other people aren't

okay, NOT that i am glad people got in accidents, i would never want that and that really sucks but how come i never get to see the neat stuff like that. i mean it's not neat, it's just kind of interesting to see i guess. rroman sees people flip their cars and stuff all the time, i have never seen it. lol i know that sounds really bad but i still think it'd be .... i can't think of the word ot use that would be okay but yeah...

anyway, i hate michigan winters and i can't wait to move out of this state.

:: 2008 3 February :: 9.46pm

he just threw the remote into the wall acting like an animal. he never acts like that and it is dumb .............wtf. god people are pissing me off.

:: 2008 2 February :: 11.53pm

why am i still awake? i feel really weird..................................

i'm watching like the dumbest show ever. and i dont want to go to work tomorrow. and i feel sick.

this lady started crying...a client that comes in all the time at work the other day. she like started crying and i felt so bad for her and i'm just like um you want a hug.... i felt really bad awwwwwwwww

shit shit hsti ahsd;lfkajsd;lfkajsdf;lkajsdf;lkajsdflkasjf;laksjdf;lkasjdf;lksjdf;lkasdjf;alksdjf;lakjf;alksfja;lskfja;sf

i hate nights like this.

:: 2008 31 January :: 11.45am
:: Mood: Sore/tired/irritated

Once Again...

I had a specfic reason for not getting a white car and that was because nobody can see it in the snow and I think people just hate my car

Examples:

1.) Backed in to in the parking ramp at school last winter
2.) Ticket
3.) Backed in to at H2 parking lot and took off this January
4) Rear ended yesterday and took off

All in less than a year

Story of my life.

But I look on the bright in that I can still drive my vehicle.

:: 2008 30 January :: 12.57am

I HATE MY JOB BECAUSE THEY DON'T CARE ABOUT THEIR EMPLOYEES WHATSOEVER. I JUST WORKED UNTIL MIDNIGHT AND THEN ATTEMPTED TO DRIVE HOME IN THIS AWFUL HORRIBLE HORRIBLE WEATHER. i swear to you people, you could NOT see a THING not a thing@!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! just pure white that's all you can see. it was the scariest thing ever i'm not kidding. i called roman and he didn't have his phone, i called jess, and i then i called my mom and woke her up i was crying saying i dont know what to do i dont know what to do becaue you couldn't even tell if you were on the road or driving into someoen's front yard seirously!!! you cludln't see anything and traffic lights were out and omg

taht seriulsy i think wwas the scariest thing i have ever done. ahhhh thanks mom for hleping me get home lol

:: 2008 25 January :: 9.54am

i am never drinking again. ugh kill me and i have to work from 4 to midnight. i'm gonna die.