Uh....

:: 2006 8 August :: 4.27pm

Weird.

eddy	:: 2006 7 August :: 10.24pm Okay. I feel a little better. But I still hate you. 10 squirrely \| have some nuts?

eddy	:: 2006 7 August :: 8.39pm I fucking hate you all. I quit. No matter how hard I try, no one ever seems to like me. So I give up. I've been dropped, stepped on, ignored, and mostly just plain forgotten. Well, I can do that too. 3 squirrely \| have some nuts?

eddy	:: 2006 7 August :: 7.29pm Why do I care? It doesn't even matter. I need to change this specific aspect of my being. Who knows? It may produce better results. have some nuts?

eddy	:: 2006 5 August :: 4.22am Only one phrase can describe tonight. Complete ego boost. =P Definatley well needed, and well recieved =D 4 squirrely \| have some nuts?

:: 2006 31 July :: 4.59pm

So. I'm at my parents now cause it's 98 degrees and they have wonderful a/c. And we do not. :-) Last week I went to Labor & Delivery Triage cause Thursday I was running for the phone and the doorknob caught my belly and Friday I had a huge bruise. When I called they said we'd probably be there for 4 hours for monitoring. But it wasn't that long and everything is okay. Saturday I had to work (my last day! Hooooooray!) And Sunday was really nice :-) Today I had my 1-hour Glucola test where you drink the nasty sugar stuff (which didn't end up being all that bad) and then wait an hour in a noisy waiting room then they stab you in the arm and steal your blood. Okay, I may have been exaggerating a little. It's not really that bad. After drinking all that sugar the baby was going crazy in the waiting room and I couldn't stop laughing! He/she kept kicking my ribs and kicking sooooo hard I was moving around a little. After the test Charlie and I went to Panera :-D Yummy. Then I have to go back to the doc in a couple weeks. The date may be Oct. 28. That's what we're thinking. Anyway, our house is finally coming around we're getting stuff put away and everything. Yay! And it feels good to not have to work anymore.

:: 2006 27 July :: 2.39pm

Worked today. I am officially tired. But only 2 more days and I am on leave. Charlie said I could probably be off work until the baby went to preschool, but I'll probably want to go back at least part-time. I still have to finish school next year. And then 2 more years after that probably. But it's okay. Everything will get done in due time. I can feel where the baby is and how he/she is laying. Like I can feel where his/her back is. And you can see kicks really well now. Everyone keeps feeling my tummy. OH OH OH, we bought a crib last weekend and it came in so we're getting it on Saturday. It's awesome, it's antique walnut and it converts to a toddler bed then to an adult bed. We thought it'd be worth the 300 bones. So baby's nursery is almost done. Probably should have a baby shower soon. Another HUGE purchase we made this week: washer/dryer. After the whole situation with those (long story) we went to sears and picked out a couple Kenmore High Efficiency ones. They're coming today between 4:45-6:45 so that's awesome! They were way expensive ($1700) but they'll pay for themselves and using them won't hurt our energy/gas bills. So yeah, lots of purchases this week. This is a long entry really not about much.

stinko

:: 2006 26 July :: 11.45pm

i am definately in one of those downward spirals as of right now.

the sadness is sweeping in like a cool breeze. it feels nice after trying not to feel. i don't know why i can't make myself leave it. it's almost as if i want to be here alone on the brink of tears. somewhere safe.

i know this place. i have spent many hours alone.

i can't make myself call people. it seems like so much work.

i just wish i could sleep, but it's too hot in my room. if i weren't too scared i would sleep outside. friday my parents leave town. i am happy. not because i want them to leave, but then i won't have to sleep alone. i just wish we could get a house. some days the longing is worse than others. today i fear it is worse. all i want is to fall asleep next to him and wake up the same way. no more sleepless nights, no more anxiety, no more loneliness.

isn't it odd that whenever you are sad and the music is on shuffle, the most depressing songs always play. it never fails.

this is what worries me the most. nothing went wrong today. nothing. there is absolutely no reason for me to be so worked up. i had servesafe class which means i basically got paid to do nothing, and i know i passed the stupid test for it. i didn't get lost. robby wasn't mad about me crying over the phone last night and being unfair, in fact he took me out for lunch. i went shopping with sarah and spent money that wasn't mine. nothing went wrong.
so what is the deal?

WTC???

3 squirrely | have some nuts?

eddy

:: 2006 24 July :: 10.59pm

I had a dream last night. I dreamt that I was really, truly, unconditionally loved. I woke up, and I've had this elated feeling all day. Kind of wierd isn't it?

And, for a short while today, I was Superman. Just trust me on this one. You might know what I'm talking about in the near future.

swimfan14

:: 2006 24 July :: 6.04pm

I'm in Washington D.C. right now at our hotel. This place is definitely beautiful. Our flight was at 6:30 am this morning and we were an hour away from the airport so my cousins and I have been up since 3:00am. I barely slept on the plane either. Tomorrow we are going to Virginia Beach for the rest of the week. *Smiles*.

<3

:: 2006 21 July :: 3.10pm

I love my husband!
He just got a very large raise so I can now leave work! And once the baby comes there won't be a hurry for me to go back! :-)
He's really wonderful.

swimfan14

:: 2006 19 July :: 8.31pm
:: Mood: Happy

Off the coast of somewhere beautiful.
Hey. I guess it's about time I updated.

Last weekend on Friday I hung out with Elyse. We stayed the night at my dad's new house. I really like my new room. We went to Olive Garden and then my cousins Brooklyn, Kyla, Kaylie, and the new baby Briley came over. I love her, she is so cute.

Saturday I went out on the boat. It was definitely interesting to say the least. Haieligh and I went tubing with Casey and Chad. We had some pretty fun times.

Sunday I went to Holland to watch Luke's basketball games.

I can't remember when, but I went and saw Pirates of The Caribbean 2 with Luke and The Devil Wears Prada with Elyse.

This week I've just been hanging out with Luke and my friends. Our power went out on Monday. We just got it back yesterday. That definitely sucked.

Friday I'm going to Champion with Elyse in the morning and then later on my family is going to Grand Haven for the weekend and we are staying at a hotel on the beach.

I just found out a few days ago that on Monday I'm going to Washington D.C. and then we are going to Virginia Beach. I'm going with my dad, my uncle Mike, and my cousins Rachel and Sarah. I'm pretty stoaked for that. Our plane leaves from Detroit on Monday morning. I think I'll be gone for a week. I honestly don't really know the details since my mom just informed me of all this. It will be fun though, except I'll be missing Luke, a lot.

I guess that is about it. Much love.

Ashley

When you whisper you want this, your eyes tell the same. Picking up speed, I can barely breathe, 'cause I'm caught in suspension.

6 squirrely | have some nuts?

:: 2006 19 July :: 1.58pm

I just didn't think it was possible. But it's happened again. Goodbye.

~

In other news, I am now the proud owner of a pretty vaccuum! Whoo. hahaha. (I was actually excited about getting it. jeez) To complete my new look I will soon purchase an apron. You can actually see baby move now. Crazy! Like an alien!

eddy	:: 2006 18 July :: 12.53am 9 squirrely \| have some nuts?

:: 2006 17 July :: 11.28am

Who am I supposed to depend on when I am scared?
It's a lot harder than you think.
~
Went to Labor/Delivery yesterday and got hooked up to a bunch of machines. It's scary when you're normally active baby isn't so active for the weekend. So the nurse comes in and says "So you're expecting a little girl, huh?" Hmm... She says she thought she overheard "her" but... I still think it's a girl! Everything is okay. We went to the doctor today and got everything situated and now it's time to sign up for birth classes. Haha. Not signing up for classes at college. Nope, birth classes. Crazy how that works. Anyway, that's it for now.

eddy	:: 2006 17 July :: 7.48am It's time to try defying gravity. ......I think I'll try defying gravity. I hope you're happy in the end. have some nuts?

eddy	:: 2006 17 July :: 7.16am Strange....I just heard a Tenacious D impression....while watching baseball. Yeah....the announcer guy just busted out with a Tenacious D phrase, weird. have some nuts?

:: 2006 13 July :: 5.10pm

Hm. Sad sad day.
I'm really upset that I didn't get in touch with her earlier. I didn't know. :-( My friend and I had the same due dates, but she gave birth to her twin girls. And it's heartbreaking. But I can't talk more about it because I will start crying again.

Okay.
Reception is tomorrow. I know who is working it! YAY! Abbi and Jon :-) That should be fun!

Baby is kicking really hard and I can actually feel where the baby is and what is kicking/punching. haha. I'm going to be having a diaper party sometime real soon, I will get on the details later.

Anyway, gotta go.