:: 2004 3 August :: 9.31 am
:: Mood: FAIR WEEK!!!

tuesday...fair starts today! yay!! :):):) i love the fair...haha

yesterday i bummed around the house for a bit, solved some things, and then megan called...she needed some help with fair stuff so i gladly went with her...she'll be a busy girl this week so i figured i should fit in my megan time when i could. so i went with hre and her mom to an emergency trip to the educational service place thing...had a disaster there...went back to megans...went to the fair grounds, ended up pulling apart our disaster and then ended up re-doing it..then we looked at 4H stuff, set up stuff with papa johns people...saw steve about 80 times...chatted with andrew while he worked...finished up megans display, talked to more people...and then we headed home for tacos :) YUM i love tacos. sara came over, we sat around because thats all megan and i wanted to do. adam came, we played euchre...possibly the slowest hands ive ever played, but it was still good...we're still getting sara to the comfortable stage. then we went to ians hockey game...said about two words to ian and then he left fairly quickly without saying goodbye...ass..:) anyway, stopped at rallys, chatted with stram about the store, and left, it was good

now today....FAIR! :)

crush me

:: 2004 1 August :: 1.10 pm
:: Mood: good

interesting week to say the least...however i dont think im well enough equiped to write about it...im not even sure if i want to write about it...all i can say, is im happy, happier than ive been in awhile...we'll just have to wait and see what happens next

yesterday i chatted with sara a lot, i think she got annoyed with me, but at the same time she understands, i listened to her ramble also, and i'll listen to her ramble even more probably later this afternoon...talked to amanda, she was dead after her tournament, but extremely happy..i was happy for her, yay to beat sua, thats amazing! :) stevie called me on her way home from work..then she came over and we decided a girly movie was in need, so we watched now and then...movie about a group of girls who through trials and tribulations are still best friends an x amount of years later...good movie...then we chatted a lot...she left a little after midnight after about 15 minutes of talking in the driveway...we're cool like that

i was supposed to go to church this morning...i didnt...opps. instead i slept until 11, it was a nice sleep too, one of the most fulfilling ive had in awhile :)

other than that , ive done a lot of nothing today, and that is good. i think amanda might be coming out tonight to enter the world of scrapbook wonderment, sara and stevie will probably head out also...possibly megan too...we'll have to see

thats it for now

2 heartless bastards | crush me

:: 2004 31 July :: 12.49 am

I need love, love to ease my mind
I need to find, find someone to call mine
but mama said

you can't hurry love
oh you'll just have to wait
she said love dont come easy
its a game of give and take
you cant hurry love no you'll just have to wait
you gotta just give it time
no matter how long it takes

but how many heartaches must i stand
before i find a love to let me live again
right now the only thing that keeps me hanging on
when i feel my strength, yeah is almost gone
i remember mama said

no you can't hurry love
you'll just have to wait
she said love don't come easy
its a game of give and take

how long must i wait
how much more can i take
before loneliness will cause my heart, heart to break

no i can't bear to live my life alone
i grow impatient for a love to call my own
but when i feel that i, i can't go on
these precious words keep me hanging on
i remember mama said

you can't hurry love
oh, you'll just have to wait
she said love don't come easy
its a game of give and take
you can't hurry love
no, you'll just have to wait
she said just give it time
no matter how long it takes

you know love, love dont come easy
but i keep on waiting, anticipating
for that soft voice to talk to me at night
for some tender arms to hold me tight

i keep waiting, i keep on waiting
but it aint easy, it aint easy
but mama said

you can't hurry love
no, you'll just have to wait
she said just give it time
no matter how long it takes
you can't hurry love
oh you'll just have to wait
she said love don't come easy
its a game of give and take

crush me

:: 2004 27 July :: 4.29 pm
:: Mood: contemplative

so..its been a year. i've accepted it. i mean, how couldnt i? i would be going mad. it still hurts though. thought about it a lot today...so ive been really spacey and quiet. its crazy to think how much we've moved on in a year...

megan and i: we're the same...close as ever, dont see each other nearly as much, but we make do with what we can. hopefully we will go to the same college..if not, we'll live. i still do and always will consider that girl to be my best friend.

sara and i: haha we went through many up and downs..that girl annoys the hell out of me sometime, but after a week everything is back to normal...we can still do the eye thing, which annoys everyone still. havent really seen a lot of her this summer though. but still fairly close. closer than we were a year ago.

amanda and i: we really started our friendship this year...i love that girl to death...she is someone that will put you in a good mood when you're down. she is someone that i will talk to years from now :)

stevie and i: we really got a lot closer this last year...went to the lake...talked about depressing girl problems late into the night...she always has a quote of some sort that makes sense of whats currently going on

jackie and i: well...we used to be fairly close...i helped her through her break up, and that was really the last ive talked to her..shes moved on with new poeple, which is great for her, i consider her a friend, without a doubt, but we've definitely drifted.

ian and i: well what can i say...i luv that kid. haha, he has talked me through so much shit in the last year. he's always good to have around. he was there for me last year and hes still there for me now. went to a dance with him...had fun. hes got a gf now, i thought that might make things a little awkward....not at all, still my best guy friend...gotta love it...everyone should have an ian

daniel and i: we became better friends...i helped him with the whole trap of megan..i stopped calling him jew...we've progressed...he's nice to chat with, that kid cracks me up

adam and i: hmm...where shall i begin? this time last year, we werent speaking...actually stopped speaking for several months. reacquainted during football season...became friends-ish. made small talk evrey once and awhile...then we got into the cycle of pissing each other off every 2 weeks and not speaking...did that for awhile..went through 2 phases of declaring silence to each other...now theres not a day that goes by that i dont at least talk to him. we hang out a lot more now...we dont fight nearly as often..it used to be we couldnt go a converstaion without an argument...now we just laugh about it...its good now, he and i have made the most progress... :)

hess and i: he was gone this year...but we kept in touch...had a great time at homecoming with him...hes just a good guy

brian and i: gotta love the kid, even if i dont agree with everything he says or does...but we've been friends for about 5 years...i tlak him through some of his woes...its ok

doug and i: well to say the least, the kid has the most stressful life ever, and i dont envy him at all...hes good to have around, and i do enjoy talking to him, but man oh man, we went through some cycles this year...i went through a phase of feeling replaced, i pretty much was replaced, i dont care about that anymore, to say the least, hes almost been replaced lately...we're working on it though...

hodges and i: he makes you feel like theres some worth to you...definitely someone to talk to when you're feeling like shit, or have boy problems :)

i think thats everyone...idk, my mind is a blur...this last year was a complete growing experience...very interesting

4 heartless bastards | crush me

:: 2004 27 July :: 9.12 am
:: Mood: content

yesterday doug wanted to spend some time with me so i went over to his house and i actually sat through the first lord of the rings, extended version. yes, its true...and i only got up like 3 times because i couldnt stand sitting anymore. i was proud of myself...so was stevie when i told her. good movie though...but why does it have to be so damn long!? i could have gotten that same amount of information in 2.5 hours than 3.5 hours. oh well

after that i went home, and the plan was for adam to rent bourne identity and him daniel ian and i were going to watch it before going to see bourne supremacy. well...no one had bourne identity...so we sat around until 915 and then went to the movie...i really dont like watching a sequel when i havent seen the prequel, but it wasnt so bad...adam explained the basis of the first one to me so i was alright. that was also a good movie..but i was getting to be extremely tired during it and my headache from earlier was becoming unbearable..it was one of those headaches that actually starts to make your stomach hurt...not fun, plus the camera action in the movies was rocky, so fun! chatted with ian for a bit in the parking lot...he makes me laugh, hes good to have around

ahh! i got home last night and said goodnight to my parents...sounded exactly like dani! its funny

3 heartless bastards | crush me

:: 2004 26 July :: 11.09 am
:: Mood: i like home :)

its been awhlie, but for the last four days ive been hanging out in NY/Canada so i think i have reason

the trip was, to say the least, amazing. i had a wonderful time, many stories to share...none of which can be chared on here, because they would A)take too long and B)they're much better in person. but i will do a quick rundown on the last four days...

thurs: woke up, rolled out of bed and went to the van, this being when i forgot to stop by the truck and pick up my ID...oops...fell asleep in the van, woke up in pennsylvania...went shopping once we hit buffalo and made it to the fort by 4, set up, talked to terry and jim left to go to canada...got into canada without my ID, i thought that was impressive...went to the falls...went on maid of the mist...got wet...good times :)

fri: woke up horribly stuffed because of allergies, took medicine, ended up sleeping most of the afternoon, but woke up when bill robin and dani showed up...that made me happy :) hung out with them for the remainder of the night

saturday: woke up, kept busy throughout the day, watched the battle, hung out with dani..then we went to CANADA....again, i got into canada without my ID..we went to dinner and walked around..all of which we did in garb, so all the french canadian people thought we were the coolest thing ever..i felt like i was actually somebody...i have never had so many people come up to me and ask to take a picture, it made me laugh...we walked a lot, sang in a gazebo, window shopped and got some ice cream...we got back to the states sometime near midnight...we missed the dance at the castle...

sunday: kept busy...did a lot of tearing down throughout the day...made plans for the next visit, said our good byes and we were out of there by 430...got home by 1130...it was lovely, im sunburnt, and extremely tired, and i never want to hear bag pipes or see the 42nd regiment ever again..:)

now im home, going to watch a movie with doug in a bit, from what i hear he needs a friend...thats where i step in

i like home :)

crush me

:: 2004 19 July :: 5.25 pm

this song has been running through my head all day


Hope, dangles on a string
Like slow spinning redemption
Winding in and winding out
The shine of it has caught my eye
Roped me in so mesmorizing
And so hypnotizing
I am captivated
I am...

Vindicated
I am selfish, I am wrong
I am right, I swear I'm right
Swear I knew it all along
And I am flawed
But I am cleaning up so well
I am seeing in me now
The things you swore you saw yourself

So clear
Like the diamond in your ring
Cut to mirror your intention
Oversized and overwhelmed
The shine of which has caught my eye
And rendered me so isolated
So motivated, I am certain now
That I am..

Vindicated
I am selfish, I am wrong
I am right, I swear I'm right
Swear I knew it all along
And I am flawed
But I am cleaning up so well
I am seeing in me now
The things you swore you saw yourself

So turn up the corners of your lips
Part them and feel my finger tips
Trace the moment, fall forever
Defence is paper thin
Just one touch and I'd be in too deep down
to ever swim against the current

So let me slip away, so let me slip away
So let me slip away, so let me slip against the current
So let me slip away, so let me slip away
So let me slip away, so let me slip away

Vindicated
I am selfish, I am wrong
I am right, I swear I'm right
Swear I knew it all along
And I am flawed
But I am cleaning up so well
I am seeing in me now
The things you swore you saw yourself

Like hope, dangles on a string
Like slow spinning redemption

crush me

:: 2004 17 July :: 12.09 pm
:: Mood: i want sleep!

hmm..thurs night was girls night, 4 guys stopped by though, but it was ok, because its not like they could have stayed the entire time, so we still had PLENTY of girl time. i missed most of the track and field trials though because we were out on the porch visiting with ian and adam..i was a big nerd and kept looking in through the window to see what events were on :) it was a lot of fun though..A LOT of giggling..there comes a time where we all just lose it..my time happens to be 130am...yea, after that i was completely idiotic...as in..making a big deal to go get on the computer..and then after 2 minutes getting bored with it, or...spazzing out when stevie wants to turn on the light and i think its going to blind me, or...bursting out into renditions of Eye of the Tiger...yup! megan was entralled to see a jar of M&Ms..plus she fell asleep once and we woke her up to play a game...she wasnt happy with us...tara got a boob job, but then it turned out she didnt..because it was tara reid, not rood..it was like 2am, it made sense at the time...and it turns out tara is going to marry jamers because in her eyes he's a perfect 10..haha. gah, i dont even think i remember anything else...i had a wiggle dance once...i was so far gone that night...wayyyy too giggly, i think i fell out of the chair once because i thought something was so damn funny lol. we finally went to bed around 5, woke up at 8 :) we're winners. we ate cinnamon rolls, then megan and i left.

i went to gmas after that...helped her with whatever needed to be done for the party that night..i really did nothing, i ate more than i helped, i had to check all the food though and make sure it was good enough for mom and grandpa! went home after that, did a lot of nothing...mike and heather came out, we played some texas hold em..i won the loot the first game, lost the second though...i'll be a lot smarter sunday night when im playing with people i dont know...that should be interesting. we went down to grandmas...saw EVERYONE...ate A LOT...brats, steaks and hamburgers were the main course, plus every fruit ever, potato salad..macaroni salad..onion roll ups..pickles...cheese...butteringer cheesecake...and more..it was crazy, i ate sooo much but it was soo good
went to see I,ROBOT that night, it was very good, i suggest you go see it.
today i have to work a lot..no going out for me.. :)

crush me

:: 2004 14 July :: 5.01 pm

last night i told amanda i wanted ice cream, so i went into BG and met up with her, got a call from megan, and the three of us, plus stevie, decided to meet at the sundae station for some ice cream...the place was completely packed, so i had to park at the orthos, and we decided to sit in the bed...one of the props of having a truck i guess...stevie and megan were going to meet some others at the movies, while amanda and i went back to the dever household and watched some old school nick shows and the UK edition of queer eye..it was quite odd, but we learned some new phrases :)

today has been completely unproductive...i started to not feel well again, which sucks, i have a meeting to go to tonight, so ive been getting ready for that a bit...pretty boring

last night at about 1am was quite interesting...i was getting ready for bed, i actually got to the point of laying down, under the covers, and i have this problem where i think A LOT before i go to bed...and i was thinking about all this things i need to do in a short amount of time...i need to finish my 4h project, i need to start my summer reading - i already have, but i need to keep up with it, i have a job application i need to turn in like now, i havent seen ian in forever and ive been trying to think of when i might be able to actually say hello to his face, i have a meeting tonight, plans tomorrow, family get together on friday, im traveling next week, ive been neglecting my gym membership, i need to go in a throw before i completely drop doing that for the year, i need to go buy my moms gift (which technically i should have given her today), i need to give daron that damn marching hat back, and i need to start narrowing down my 10 college choices to like 5 which is IMPOSSIBLE!, plus megan started going through this idk what i want to do with my life phase, which made me question what i want to do with my life...so im now in that phase also..i know i picked something that i will love, but there are other things that i would love just as much that could be a lot more itneresting...grr..so all of these things started to build up and low and behold i put myself into a position that i havent been in for about a year...and of course my parents were asleep and i didnt want to wake them up, i got online, and adam was on, but hes never experienced this with me so i didnt wnt to drag him into it, so i was stuck there by myself trying to work through it...i dont remember if i ever worked through it, i may have passed out, or calmed myself down enough that i actually fell asleep, idk, i was doing really well with this all too, i was going on over a year...this sucks

crush me

:: 2004 13 July :: 6.16 pm

it hurts less than i thought it would...but more than i ever wanted it to

crush me

:: 2004 13 July :: 10.59 am
:: Mood: content

saturday and sunday i felt pretty crappy, so i actually stayed home both nights...i know, kind of a shocker there...i decided to stay in rather than go out...it was nice though..i slept A LOT, which really is what i needed..."liquids, sleep and chicken soup" - check, check, and check. :)
yesterday i went out to lunch with amanda and megan - had to catch up with them after their fun filled day at CP. plus it was my very first trip to jimmy johns, which according to some is a crime, so i was more than happy to do the time...it was yummy :) i went home after that, sat on my bed with my mom and finalized my senior picture order, then sara called, i caught up with her, she got her pics, which are soooo nice!, we went out to dinner, visited amanda at work, hooked up with stevie, went to ians hockey game, then visited megan in her 4H hell. pretty exciting huh?

moment for contemplation:
ok..i understand it now, i see why you thought i would try to change it, but what you pointed out..isnt exactly something i can change, its who i am whether its something you like or not, it comes with the package...and the more i thought about it, we all know i hate the same thing about you...you know that, i've told you that. but it never crossed my mind that you should change it...its you, it just happens to be that part of you i dont like as much as the rest..so no worries, the past few nights shouldnt change anything, id like to go back to how we were like a week ago...

crush me

:: 2004 10 July :: 9.14 pm
:: Mood: yucky

wednesday night i had my band mtg..it all went fairly well..i dont know if we necessarily accomplish anything, but we do get a greater understanding for what this group of officers wants to do this season, which is nice...after the other officers left i hung out with jamers for awhile, then megan and amanda made their way over, and daniel and adam decided to stop by seeing as how they were only next door. sat around, watched le tour de france some more, then we decided to go to daniels, save me because mom wanted me home, so instead i stood in the middle of the street for another 20 minutes talking to megan and amanda about randomness that can only be explained as bliss, i love just talking to those girls, no matter what is running through your head at the time they have the ability to make it seem not so life altering and they can actually make you not think about it for an x amount of time. so i headed home that night...
my parents left for detroit thurs morning, they woke me up at 5 to say goodbye...i honestly dont know if i like staying home alone anymore...not because im scared or worried or anything, but because when they leave, i never get to go out because people always come here because its the place without parents...not that i mind but its a little unnerving at times because the times that i dont have a curfew i stay home, its a slight bummer, plus everyone complains about coming out..idk, its an odd situation that im not completely sure of...plus the fact that when my parents are gone theres never any food here! i eat pure crap while they're gone...but anyway, adam came out around 4 and we watched some kill bill scenes because heading into megans for dinner, stopped by video spectrum and then came back out here...megan hodges sara stevie and daniel joined us...we watched shawshank redemption...good movie..and then they headed out
friday...went to throwing and the gym...came home, took a nap, went on a 13 mile bike ride with stevie, had some lemonade, sat around, came home, made cookies, adam came out, followed quickly by daniel and herringshaw and hodges...sat around, watched the track and field trials...they all left...same ol' same ol'
today i woke up feeling completely congested, my voice still is a few octaves deeper, i slept on and off pretty much most of the day...went to the car show with amanda, drooled over some cars, walked around with baldwin and jackie for a bit...picked up a random job application..went to sunway for lunch, came home and ive been a bum ever since...watched some more track and field trials..those are amazing, i though it said there was going to be disc though, and all i saw throwing wise was more mens shot put...which is amazing, dont get me wrong, i mean hello?! adam nelson threw 71 flat, id love to see that in person, im pretty sure i would be speechless...either that or gazing at them with complete awe as drool goes down my chin..either way
ive been contemplating my ways lately...theres a lot about me that has changed a lot in the past few months, i have theories as to the influence that has affected me so..i just dont understand why...that influence has been there pretty steadily for the past 4 years..why is it being so drastic now? idk, at times i like this new me that as popped up, but other times...idk, i think im really pissing some people off a lot..idk anymore
i think thats it...the meds are slowly taking over and my eyelids are getting heavier

crush me

:: 2004 7 July :: 2.01 pm
:: Mood: contemplative

busy day today...i skipped out on throwing, but according to hodges i didnt miss anything...he was there with adam, and that was it, coach didnt even show up, so im glad i didnt go, it would have been a waste...i have to be over at wilhelms for a 4H mtg later, and i actually have to leave that mtg early to go to my other mtg for band officers at jamers' house...hopefully we get some things squared off at this mtg...
last night me berber kelly stevie hodges and amanda played volleyball at carter park..it was so much fun, playing the the sand :) then we went to DQ which was rather interesting...to say the least...headed over to daniels...ran into doug in his driveway, had a discussion that really accomplished nothing, mostly my fault though, i didnt really feel the need to accomplish anything, to put it bluntly i didnt care to accomplish anything, as bitchy as that sounds, its the honest to God truth..sure i dont like the idea of doug not being happy with me, but at the same time i dont know if ive doen anything wrong...sure i could of done things better...but idk, i had fun and thats all that really matters right?, idk, call me a bitch if you want, or self centered...i dont care
i think i need an ian talk...but i cant get that anymore

crush me

:: 2004 6 July :: 9.48 am

its been a while

ive been keeping busy though since last thursday...friday night stevie adam daniel, and i went bowling which was interesting, i suck at bowling and it showed, but it was a lot of fun anyway, after that we went to rallys because we were thirsty and didnt feel like spending 4 bucks a glass....

saturday i met adam at 10 to go throw for a bit, we're going to be sweet when spring comes around, after that we decided to go raid daniels house after just waking him up, watched some tennis and le tour de france, then the boys got hungry so we went to taco bell...which was fun, i was bummed i had to leave them so early, but i had to get home and pack so stevie could come and pick me up so we could go to the lake. went to the lake, and jet skied A LOT! it was so much fun though, her family is so nice, and the house was so cool...definitely going up again sometime soon. got home sunday, had a nice dinner with my parents mike and heather, then went into megans house to hang out before going in to watch the fireworks...they were pretty good, i enjoyed them, i missed being in NY for the 4th so much though, and it showed, megan and amanda kept asking me what waswrong, and i couldnt pin point it at the time, becuase i was surrounded by my friends watching fireworks...whats not to love? but i figured it out later...im just used to being somewhere else with different people for the 4th...its been that way for the past 7 years and it was just odd...i missed NY, but i got over it quickly....monday night stevie wanted to play homerun derby, but megan and i had already agreed to meet tim, so we did both....DQ with Tim was great...i love him so much, he just makes everything fun :) then we went to play bball, but ended up leaving soon after becuase the bugs were nasty, so we ended up the night at daniels...watched some TV, nothing special..came home....the end

crush me

:: 2004 1 July :: 11.07 am
:: Mood: content

time for a morning update i guess...

i got to go into town yesterday and pick up my senior pictures...im actually happy with them, there are some that i really dont like at all, but there are others that turned out really really well, so im happy, my parents and i are going to have a hard time picking out the ones we want...but megan had told me that she wanted to see them all when i got them, so i called and told her and she and amanda came out, i called sara because i figured she would want to see them also. they all loved them and gushed and drool...everything that great friends would do :) ian called wondering where we all were, told him we were at my house, he asked if he coul blow things up, i asked my dad, he said that was fine, so ian adam and daniel came out and got to shoot the musket..they were excited, i think ian moreso than the other two, but sara and i were manly for a few seconds and shot it also, i actually was good the first time and got really close to the center of the target but i think i missed it the second time haha. after that, we just kinda sat around the living room...herringhsaw came out a little while after and showed us his proofs which turned out really nice also..there were a few that i didnt like, but i think that comes with every batch...people started to dwindle a bit, and daniel was last to leave at around 1140, chatted online for a bit and made it to bed at a fairly decent time and then did wake up until 1040..my life is a waste

today wll be an easy day...im not really in the mood for going out, but ive said that before so we'll see what happens, i know stevie wants to see my proofs so maybe i'll just have her some over...idk, we shall see

thats it

crush me

:: 2004 30 June :: 10.23 am
:: Mood: random
:: Music: counting crows

1 heartless bastard | crush me

:: 2004 29 June :: 10.26 am
:: Mood: im really happy

my theory holds strong, time away from BG does help

NY was tons of fun...a little tedious at times, we went to so many forts, they're all starting to run together right now, but for the sake of an update i'll try to remember the events as they came...

wednesday:left here around 2, ran into BG, bought 2 CDs for the trip then met up with my parents at 3 to head off...we drove for about 7 hours, stoppping sporadicaly for food and potty breaks, we stayed in syracuse that night, met up with bill and robin and then headed off for a jam packed day...

thurs: woke up, jumped into the van, and headed off to see fort stanwix, my parents thought it would be really funny to take my picture next to the sign at every historical stop we made because they know how much i enjoy seeing forts and crap...so thats what we did. after stanwix we went to a battle site..i could tell you the word, but i cant think of how to spell it....oriskinee or something, idk, but i have a picture of me next to the sign! after that we went to Hermkimer home i believe...that was neat actually, we also went to a tomb for some guy...stuepen or something?...then we had to spend an hour at the chrysler dealership because bills van was being funky. we were supposed to stay at johnson hall that night but we ended up just going to the fort for the night because we were so close.

fri: woke up, went to vermont for breakfast so we could have real vermont maple syrup! so we went to the trappers lodge...remind me to tell you the story sometime about tom and dan and the moose...its good stuff, well we did that then we went to fort # 4 which is in new hampshire..that one was probably my favorite, there was a lot more interaction with people so it was nice, but the rooms in this place were nice...i want on of those beds!! took some pictures, then headed to crowne point, nothing too special there..and it was starting to rain. heading back into NY, had some dinner, then headed back to the fort.

sat: first day of the real reenactment! got all dressed in my nice garb, had some breakfast and spent the rest of the day walking around taking pictures, did some shopping, and a lot of talking. drove up mt defiance with my mom and robin, hike to the top, took a role of film took tons of pictures, hiked back down to the car then headed back to the fort, that night we went to bonnies for dinner....bonnie is amazing! she is me in 30 years..i see so much of myself in her. so that was tons of fun. her house is right on the lake, its gorgeous and her dog was amazing...i loved it there, i never wanted to leave...

sunday: woke up, dressed in grubby garb, had breakfast, and then did some more walking and picture taking...changed into normal clothing, helped tear down the tent, and we were out of there by 330. we drove until 10, ended up in buffalo for the night.

monday: got on the road by 9, drove for a bit, stopped for lunch, drove until 230 which was when we got home...i love home...

went out last night with amanda sara and stevie..we went to DW, caught up and shared some stories, hess stopped by, we went to the park, played on the swings, then decided to go walk downtown...daniel called, he and adam showed up, we walked for some more, met up with PL! talked to him for a bit, walked some more, went to wendys, got food, went back to the park, had tons of fun playing on the playground, then ian met up with us and we ended the night at daniels just hanging out, got home late, and stayed up until really late talking online...i need to learn to go to bed earlier...

and thats it...kinda boring right?

crush me

:: 2004 23 June :: 12.06 pm
:: Mood: great
:: Music: counting crows

3 heartless bastards | crush me

:: 2004 21 June :: 2.38 pm
:: Mood: sleepy

its been a few days...sorry about that

thursday night i stayed home and chilled with the family, i figured it they were leaving me i might as well soak up some time with them..so i stayed home and my mom and i watched a movie while my dad finished up their packing...quality time right?

friday my parents left for the fort before i woke up so i didnt see them...i was supposed to go throwing with hodges...nope, slept right through that alarm :) but oh well, i needed someone to come and pick me up and take me to the fort in order to take my parents extra vehicle from them, but ian was hanging out with ali, doug needed to pack, and i think sara was busy, as was stevie, so i asked adam, i wasnt expecting him to say yes, not because hes a big jerk or anything, but i know how he is about wasting gas and how thats pretty much the worst thing ever...but he did, he came out and got me and took me up there, which was amazing of him, so thanks bunches to him really, im so thankful for that, because if it werent for him i would have had to ask my grandparents and it would have taken forever! but oh well, its in the past and it all worked out well

that night sara came out after running a few errands, and then adam showed up, he called up daniel, and while we waited for him adam made sara and omlet which was yummy, and we watched zoolander for a bit, then daniel got here, then later herringshaw showed up with hess and rishel...fun times...lol

saturday mike and heather came out for a little bit...spent some quality time with mike before i ran into town to go to the gym and to kroger, turns out the gym was closed by the time i got there which was really dumb, but i went and visited sara at work and got some munches for people who were coming out that night...got home, mike and heather were still around, chatted with them, i needed a stick of butter, went to gmas, found tara, kidnapped her for awhile, made some cookies, mike and heather left, and sara and stevie showed up for girls night. ate some food, then adam and daniel showed up soon followed by ian...we played girl talk, upon the guys request...quite an interesting game..adam was point princess but refused to wear his crown...jerk. i think everyone else wore it though, that was a fun night, just hanging out....did ians hair while he wore saras shirt, that was quite the sight. then he found that black powder, tried to ignite some of it, but it was too humid, he'll come out one of these days and shoot the musket with my dad, along with the others...the boys left, so we started girls night...but then hodges showed up so we canceled girls night...hung out with him for a bit, he left around 130, so girls night was back on, watched some movies, chatted, figured out some stuf...shared some gossip...good times, megan needs to come back soon so we can include her!! we'll only have one day together before i have to leave now lol

my parents got home yesterday, and i pretty much slept the entire day because i got zero sleep the night before

today i was sweet at disc, then i went and visited my mom and then went to the gym...took a nap and now im here...im cool

crush me

:: 2004 17 June :: 10.47 am
:: Mood: angry

people anger me...people either make act before they think with situations or they wait for something to be handed to them on a fucking silver platter. and while they're waiting they'll sit and piss and moan about how nothing is going their way and how sad they are and how depressing life is...well, you know why?? its because you're not doing a damn thing about it! happiness isnt something thats going to pop up one day, knock on your door and be like ok, im all yours now!! for the love of Christ people, life is whatever you make it out to be, if you take every bad action towards you as completely life altering and something that will inevitably make your life worse than thats exactly what its going to be. why cant people just move on from things, i understand that some actions are bad, and i understand that they will consume your mind for an x amount of time, but i also understand that dwelling on things never helps, and that thinking that something is the end only adds to the fact that that you're depressed about it and will make you moreso...so my advice to all...take life as it comes, what happens now wont be that big of a deal in a year. dont weigh the bad things in life moreso than the good...if you do that i can promise you life will be better, talk to people about how you feel..yes talk, dont analyze, analyzing never works, treat others as equals, dont be degrading, it hurts. try to make the best out of all situations, being an optimist isnt as bad as you think, if you're not happy where you are now, try something new, try to find something else that makes you happy, or if you already know what makes you happy...do it! living life isnt rocket science people, its just some of you make it more dramatic than it has to be

ok, now dont take all of that as an attack, its just a rant, i know im guilty of most of the things i just stated, but oh well

now that thats done...yesterday was fun, i woke up at 1030 after unplugging my clock when it said it was time for me to wake up for throwing...i was a big bum, and didnt go, but from what i heard i did miss much, hodges yelled because he didnt have a running buddy, but oh well, he'll live, i promise. i bummed around the house for awhile, then called up stevie, she needed someone to go shopping with so i went and picked her up and we went to meijer, bought some stuff for a friend of hers then came out to my house. watched how to lose a guy in 10 days..soemthing we pretty much always do. talked to daniel, got him to come out, called up sara, told adam and adam told ian, and doug came out after work...it was fun, we watched behind enemy lines and the sweet fight scenes in the patriot...then the group began to dwindle..stevie and doug left, with adam soon after, sara had to be home and then daniel got tired and left..ian stayed til about midnight..that was fun, havent seen him in forever so it was a nice change. he taught be how to read this sweet weather stuff so now when im with others i can read it and also feel sweet..to bad he taught me when i was about half asleep so i really remember none of it, but thats alright

last night i had a dream, my friends and i went to a circus, and the clowns were scary and the elephant was really tiny..like daniel size, i got a balloon animal and doug ate it, while ian stole my cotton candy..then they all left to join the circus and i went off to college, then i woke up

i think im gonna cut my hair

where's megan at? i think she died

today i think im going to stay home..maybe talk to my family..they are leaving me for the weekend, and then they leave next wednesday...

i love michael

y2wulff: you should be in bed young missy
WulffMsc: haha, when did you become the bedtime police?
y2wulff: yesterday was my commencement why weren't you there
WulffMsc: i knew there was something i missed yesterday!
WulffMsc: i'll send you a card tomorrow
y2wulff: i'm a junior deputy bed police
WulffMsc: do you have a badge?
y2wulff: do you
WulffMsc: no...
WulffMsc: im ashamed of myself
y2wulff: well then lets not judge
WulffMsc: haha
y2wulff: i gotta go to bed i have classes tomorrow
y2wulff: see yea later
WulffMsc: mmk, i'll talk to you later
y2wulff: bye
WulffMsc: night!

thats enough

1 heartless bastard | crush me