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2004 11 November :: 8.00 pm
'you don't see the bad days in photo albums'
I'm good at messing up things I end up regretting and needing later. Actually, i'm just quite perfected at fucking everything up. Period.
1 Blank |
Shoot Me |
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2004 11 November :: 7.50 pm
I have not felt this bad in a long time. I just feel death stricken. I've no idea why...
I think one of my friends may have killed himself.. either that or he ran away.
I can't get ahold of the only one that can make me feel better..
I can't go to sleep yet, maybe I'll just take a handful or two of.. something.
-edit-
five minutes later..
I miss the way I felt when you and I connected. I want that back. I dont want to be afraid. I dont want to feel like I still have something to lose for I feel losing anything else would leave me with nothing.
Shoot Me |
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2004 5 November :: 7.00 pm
the week is merely over
it's been an extremely long one..
my parents are driving me nuts today.. over things on the damn news.. honestly, i believe they are both capable of taking enough responsibility of watching it if they freaking want to..
im in some massive pain right now.. that had better end soon.. otherwise, amputation.
3 Blank's |
Shoot Me |
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2004 31 October :: 1.35 pm
I'm in a really bad mood.
I wish my parents had not have came back so soon. I hate the way they think all they know is all there is to know.. the way they are always right. But, who doesn't hate that, right? Yeah..
I don't know why i'm so pissy right now.. Maybe i'm just tired of being here today.
Maybe i'll just leave.
-edit-
*shrug*
I've hated this day more than any i've had for quite the time. One of the worst parts, not knowing what made it so horrible. I just got tired of people, my parents mainly.
It was the most impossible day to find something to do.. I fucking swear, everything was against me.
Everything I said was turned around, and everything I did was worthless. It was a jolly ole time. Just fucking grand.
I'm leaving, again.. before I decide giving up is best.
3 Blank's |
Shoot Me |
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2004 28 October :: 8.20 pm
"You know, I feel like commiting suicide but I have so many problems I don't think it would solve them all."
-edit-
I'm still thinking of attempting to play basketball.
I've two choices.. unless things work out better than expected.
-a- Play and satisfy myself for the moment.
-b- Not play, keep my ability to walk.
-or-
-c- Play, come out lucky..
Which am I decided upon is another story. I've not. Several factors are involved. If -c- would work, that'd be lovely. But...
1 Blank |
Shoot Me |
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