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:: 2004 6 June :: 7.30 pm

[:. Crossfade :: Cold.:]

Looking back at me I see
That I never really got it right
I never stopped to think of you
I'm always wrapped up in
Things I cannot win
You are the antidote that gets me by
Something strong
Like a drug that gets me high

What I really meant to say
Is I'm sorry for the way I am
I never meant to be so cold to you

And I'm sorry about all the lies
Maybe in a different light
You could see me stand [on my own] again
Cause now I can see
You are the antidote that got me by
Something strong
Like a drug that got me high
I never meant to be so cold

I never really wanted you to see
The screwed up side [of me] that I keep
Locked inside of me so deep
It always seems to get to me
I never really wanted you to go
So many things you should have known
I guess for me theres just no hope
I never meant to be so cold

Shoot Me


:: 2004 31 May :: 12.15 am

change...
sounds good doesn't it?

it's really too bad that nothing ever changes.

3 Blank's | Shoot Me


:: 2003 19 December :: 3.25 pm
:: Mood: pessimistic

I miss you already...
Agh... what to do... I need something to take me away from this all... perhaps, forever. A few might not like that alternative. But if all is in order for me to fuck it up, then why not go for it.

Im so worn down... I cant sleep... even when I go to bed in plenty of time to fall asleep and get some... my head never stops running everything through anymore... Why cant it give me a rest...

I need energy... perhaps I should eat something... so I can throw it up... My body now rejects food... for the most part. But again, I brought that upon myself.

Last night, at the game, I got my palm read. It said I was going to live for a long time, I am going to be wealthy, and I do or will have a good love life... I cant wait for that day to come.

-The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'.-

Shoot Me


:: 2003 17 December :: 9.30 pm
:: Mood: extremely apathetic
:: Music: the well deserved dedication from Bryan...

Our Lady Peace Clumsy
Throw away the radio suitcase
That keeps you awake
Hide the telephone, the telephone, telephone, in case,

You realize that sometimes you're not okay
You level off, you level off, you level off,

And its not all right now

You need to understand
There's nothing strange about this
You need to know your friends

You need to know that

I'll be waving my hand watching you drown
Watching you scream
Quiet or loud

And maybe you should sleep
And maybe you just need, a friend
As clumsy as you've been
There's no one laughing
You will be safe in here
You will be safe in here

Throw away this very old shoelace
That tripped you again
Try to shrug it off, shrug it off, shrug it off
It's only skin now
You need to understand
There's nothing fake about this
You need to let me in
I'm watching you


And I'll be waving my hand watching you drown
Watching you scream
No ones around


And maybe you should sleep
And maybe you just need, a friend
As clumsy as you've been
There's no one laughing
You will be safe in here ow
You will be safe in


I'll be waving my hand watching you drown
Watching you scream
Quiet or loud


And maybe you should sleep
And maybe you just need, a friend
As clumsy as you've been
There's no one laughing
You will be safe in here ow ow
You will be safe in ow ow


Im sorry I cannot fufil your wishes Bryan... Im really sorry. I was the biggest bitch to you possible... and you were always so nice... and considerate... but, as usual... I fucked it up.. for no reason. I just really want you to know, nothing you did was wrong. I have some problems that I need to work out, and If I cant work them out, I couldnt handle taking you down with me. Everyone who matters knows how much I depended on you to breathe, but that I need to learn to do on my own. This hurts worse than anything else possibly could, but I believe it is for the best. I cant handle this, I am just too unstable. You are an awesome guy and you will find someone that is right for you... and I wish you the best of luck because, you, more than anyone, deserves it.

Shoot Me


:: 2003 17 December :: 4.15 pm
:: Mood: completely exhausted
:: Music: Switchfoot - Meant to Live

We were meant to live for so much more, but we lost ourselves
Maybe we've been living with our eyes half open
Maybe were bent and broken.


I am so tired I dont even feel like using the shift key... But as you can tell, I am...

Today was really boring at school... I watched X2 and the rest of the hours we just sat in the classroom...

I am somewhat glad we get like two weeks off for Christmas... but then again, I am not. I am going to go crazy in that amount of time... but perhaps, I will be well rested for the first day back, and only that day...

I almost passed out at school, but I got a Mello Yellow and I was okay... as you can tell. It was a little strange.

I... agh... I hate acting "happy"... doesnt it suck? -hmph- I am so tired of living like this, or living at all... So why do I? because I am afraid of losing what I have left...

Because we lost it all, nothing last forever, Im sorry, I cant be perfect, Now its just too late, and we cant go back, Im sorry, I cant be perfect....


Shoot Me

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