:: 2005 4 April :: 10.20 pm

like walking on broken glass...

I'm not at home, a night of freedom.

It's nice to not be at home with the crap. Silent, comfortable, simple nights are awesome. That's what I have here.

I still don't do anything that matters though. I really need to change my ways. That, however, is just me talking.. I do that quite frequently.

Anyway.. I dont have anything else to say... so.. make of it what you will.

Shoot Me

:: 2005 3 April :: 2.20 pm

This makes me think...

Shoot Me

:: 2005 1 April :: 9.45 pm

I am so damn tired. This has been a -really- long week. The sad part is it's not even over. I need sleep but I don't even get my bed tonight it was stolen and our guest [Perry's girlfriend] is staying in my bedroom.. I get stuck with yet another night without sleep. Ohh well, maybe I can sleep all day Sunday or something.. probably not though.

I missed my walk and talk with Evan tonight.. we both had things going. Maybe we'll do something this weekend as previously planned.

Also, there is something I need to bring to everyones attention. I don't mean to shut any of your out of my life nor deny any efforts you have all made to help me out. I didn't mean for things to sound like that, you've all helped me turn into the person I am today. But, if you'd still rather take my original words and slam them down my throat, go for it.. have freaking fun.

I don't know... I'm out of things to say.

2 Blank's | Shoot Me

:: 2005 31 March :: 6.55 pm

To be a person involved in the "wild side" of the world the only thing I ever knew Grandpa Perry to be afraid of was death... I guess it's something everyone has to face sometime. Tonight I went to view the body. On the way home all I could think of was everything he'd done for everyone else without expecting a thing in return. He also didn't like things most would consider -nice- he wanted things that required being fixed to work properly or things that had been used and already had a history. I think he respected history more than anyone realized. Unlike most older people, he didn't live in the past he lived in and for the future. For some reason I'm having a hard time letting him go, I guess I never thought his day would come.

I don't mean to bore you all with stuff about him, it's just a partial release of what's in my head.

-all for now-
Evan.. see you later?

Shoot Me

:: 2005 30 March :: 10.15 pm

It's going to be another night without rest. Yes, he's on a rampage. I don't think it will be as bad as usual though, he seems a bit more collected. I just got home from Evan's house so I've not been among this too much yet, there's no reason I can't handle it for the rest of the night.. and morning. I saw you online and got excited but then decided you were probably either not there or busy so I didn't see if you really happened to be on. I hope I get to come to Bolivar soon. I'm tired of being here. This week I can't avoid being here too much though.

I really feel bad for my mom. She was really close to Grandpa Perry. She's taking it really rough, I can only imagine how it's going to be Friday night at Family Night. I'll have to leave.. go get some air, something. I will never be able to stand it. The man is dead, you don't have an excuse to cry about it if you did everything you ever wanted to do with that person.. just remember the good times, right? Doesn't that work? I'm not sure it does for me, I always regret not having more of the good times or not spending more of the bad times together. But, what would I know?

I do know that I've not done any of my homework and I'm going to get in trouble tomorrow for not having it to turn in. I just don't feel like doing a single thing.

Shoot Me