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2003 25 August :: 4.38pm
:: Mood: okay
:: Music: jims playstaion game
_@#!*&$!
ashley (kellys friend.) and kelly came over last night. ashely was stayin over kellys house, so they came over my house and chilled for a good couple hours. we just messed around on the computer, talkin, on the fone, playin the playstation and listening to some music. i think they walked over about 12-1? i don't really remember, but they left about 4-5. or somewhere around there, i don't know. ahhh.
my mom took jim and i to centry three. i got a new purse.. like i need anymore of those. but anyways, i got a new one, and some safety pins, and some little buttons. they're cute. but we only stayed there for about 30-45 minutes, because i only had 50$. ha. thats all i had left. o.0
thats all.
school starts on the 27th.. ahhh.
random picture of the day:
-x|x- jena.
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2003 24 August :: 1.01am
:: Mood: confused and feeling weird
:: Music: sugarcult - pretty girl
babies?!?!
so uh, i had this dream last night about fuckin babies. i woke up all confused and stuff. haha.
my dream:
i guess i got pregnant, and my mom kicked my out of the house or whatever. soo i was still in school, and so was jim. but jim got a good job and we got a little apartment and blah blah. i guess in school everyone was talking about how jim and i were screwed for the rest of our lives cause we were havin a kid. but we didn't really see it that way. so i had the baby, and it was a little girl. we bought her clothes, and everything she needs. and all i really remember about the dream before i woke up is that we were so happy. i don't think that i was ever that happy in my whole life. =]
so all day yesterday i was thinking about babies. i'm just kinda freaked out by it though, cause the more i think about it.. the more i want to have a baby =/ . whoa i'm weird. kelly and i went shopping, and i was all lookin at the baby clothes/toys. they're all so cute. i mean yeah i know i'm not ready for a baby.. but if it ever accidently happend, i'd be happy.
so anyway, jim didn't come over again today. godddd, i am so freakin mad! i mean, okayyy please don't tell me you are going to come over, and then not be able to! (i know it's not his fault because his ride didn't come.) but still it freakin upsets me. i mean jesus, school is starting in 3 damn days. it sucks. oh well.
i went shopping for some school clothes today. haha me and kelly shoplifted. (hahaha kelly) god, it was great. lets see.. i still have to get a couple more pair of pants, a new purse, some underware/bras/socks and some odds and ends. my moms dropping jim and i off at centry three today or maybe tomorrow, so i can get the rest of my shit. ahh i can't belive school is almost here! god, it makes me feel like shit. another year is gone.
in a happier note, on the 29th- it'll be 9 months for jim and i. aww, i can't believe it's been that long.. i love him more and more each day. =D even though we fight sometimes, it's okay. I love him.
random picture of the day:
-x|x- jena
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2003 23 August :: 2.32am
:: Mood: sad
:: Music: mudvayne - world so cold
just rambling
so um jim didn't come over yesterday.. i guess he just wanted to stay home for a night, or something. but he just didn't want to come over.. so, i couldn't give him the food i brought home for him from the resturaunt we went to yesterday.. but it's still in the fridge, so i guess if he comes out sometime today he can eat it.. if someone else doesn't first.. but my mom knows not to eat it, cause i got it for jim. and dustins not home.. so i don't really think anyone will eat it. but i don't know.
i went over kellys about 2 hours ago, and we watched a movie.. i think it was called 'the marrying man' or something? i don't really remember. but oh well. it doesn't really matter. so i got back over here a little bit ago, and i just came in, turned on my stereo and sat at my computer. in less than a second, i was crying.. [yeah, i bet you think that i'm stupid.] but i just really seriously miss jim. i don't know what came over me. i mean, yeah i do miss him when he's not here, but i usually don't cry. i just saw him yesterday.. i mean i stayed over his house. so i was with him the day before, but i don't know what came over me like i said. so i called him, and woke him up and just said hey.. i just wanted to hear his voice. god i really do love him more and more each day..
i really hope he comes over tomorrow.. i seriously miss him. =( i don't know what i'm going to do when school starts, it's going to be rough. i hope he gets his license soon.. so he can drive out to my house all the time. beacuse it's going to kill me not to see him for almost a whole week except for in school.. i doubt we'll have any classes together. ahh, i don't know what i'm going to do. it's going to suck so much.
ahh school. starts in four more days god. i'd much rather kill myself than go back to that hell hole and be around everyone again. god it makes me hate people even more. i don't know.
it seems i don't know about a lot of things. i've said "i don't know" about a zillion times. jeeze. who cares.
looks it's me.
 .. 
"I have taken the broken shards of my heart and pounded them to dust. I place each precious piece in my hand and let the wind blow them in hopes you will catch them and make me whole."
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2003 22 August :: 5.15pm
kennywood
well, there isn't much to talk about kennywood..
i stayed at rochelles on wed. and thursday morning kelly and i walked up to caseys and we waited until about 11:30 for jim and mack to come pick us up. the ride was okay, until we got to mcdonalds, then it was better. (oh yeah kelly. =D) we didn't go in kennywood until about 1:00.. because of um, traffic? lol. but anyway, we met up with rochelle a little later, and then rochelle and kelly went off, and i stayed with jim and mack. then i found randi, and she stayed with us. we walked around rode some rides, i saw a whole bunch of people i don't like. but then again, i saw some 'friends'. all in all, i did have fun. and i'm just so glad that jim was there.. he made the trip great.
so we left about 10:00, and kelly went her way, and i stayed at jims. rochelle rode the bus home.
i got up around 10:00 in the morning, today, and jim and i got a shower, and then we got dressed/ate. he was supposed to come with me to go school shopping, but he wanted to stay home.. i was really mad but oh well. i ended up getting my mom not to go anyways. but we did stop at this really really really good resturaunt, (i forget what it's called) but we were supposed to take jim there but oh well, he wasn't with us. it's his own fault. =( but i did miss him. soo whatever though, we went to a couple stores, then we went home. i didn't buy anything though.
i guess later tonight i'm going to pick jim up, and then my mom said she'd take us to centry three this weekend sometime. so thats okay i guess. though i really did want to go tonight. but something always has to mess my plans up. jeeze.
oh! i forgot to mention that jennifer is coming over on wendsday! =D (my brothers ex girlfriend that i very much like) soo jim will finally meet her.. because i've wanted him to but my brother and her broke up before jim and i were together. ahh i just really can't wait to see her. this is great.
but i'm bored now, so i think i'm going to just post some quizes i took.
-x|x- lonely.
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2003 18 August :: 2.07pm
:: Mood: i don't know
:: Music: silence
could it be
just a song today.. maybe i'll write later.
i just.. don't feel so good. but jims here, so i really am happy. i missed him so much..
Masochist
The ULTIMATE personality test
brought to you by Quizilla
Well I don't know what to say
Because there's truth to what you say
I know it kills you I'm this way
There's something different everyday
Could it be that I never had the chance to grow inside?
Could it be that my habit is to find a place to hide
Could it be that sometimes I say things just to disagree?
Could it be that I'm only being me?
Not easy living in my mind
A little peace is hard to find
My every thought is undermined
By all the history inside
Could it be that I never had the chance to grow inside?
Could it be that my habit is to find a place to hide
Could it be that sometimes I say things just to disagree?
Could it be that I'm only being me?
I know I hear the words you said
Over and over again
I just can't get them through my head
There's just too many voices
Must be like living with the dead
Waiting for me to begin
To do the things that I have said
And for this I'm sorry
So there's some truth to what you say
Could it be that I never had the chance to grow inside?
Could it be that my habit is to find a place to hide
Could it be that sometimes I say things just to disagree?
Could it be that I'm only being me?
-Staind
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2003 16 August :: 11.37pm
:: Mood: i don't know
:: Music: semisonic - closing time
Saints and Sailors
youre becoming solitude and soo loving your
apartment. its understandable. ppl suck, and
youve expected too much, now u expect nothing,
but then again you have no reason too..
what dashboard confessional song are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
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2003 15 August :: 8.56am
:: Mood: sad
lets see
how many people feel like shit..?
cause i sure as hell do.
-x|x- me.
p.s. IM me on aim.. i'm bored.
she ran away x is my name.
6 fake smiles |
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2003 15 August :: 2.23am
:: Mood: depressed
:: Music: jim talkin in my ear
update from last entry:
i went over rochelles house with her around like 5:30, and we were just chillin and shit, then my mom called at 7, and she was like "where are you?" im like "rochelles, where else would i be?" she started like flipping out on me, because i wasn't home.. (when she told rochelle to make sure i was home by six the next day i mean, wtf? fuck you.) so i got home around like an hour or so later, and kelly came over and we were just talkin, then we went out on my back deck. (okay, now i haven't ate anything for about a day now. and i didn't eat dinner yesterday.) my mom was like "jena, do the dinner dishes" i was like WHAT!? I DIDN'T EVEN EAT HERE! omg, i was so pissed off. she said something else, and i just ignored her. then george was like "i hope your not planning on going anywhere until christmas" where the fuck do i go? that just pissed me off right there. i go about 2 places every fuckin 6 months. so fuck them. i hope i die in my room tonight. i called jim about 9:15, and i just cried with him on the fone for about a hour and a half.. i'm just about stupid. crying on the fone for a hour and a half.. jesus. i'll update what happens later today. god only knows what shits gonna go down.
The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Seventh Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
Take the Dante's Inferno Test
-x|x- =( i don't know anymore.
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