::
2009 25 February :: 1.44pm
:: Mood: envious
:: Music: "Love Story" by: Taylor Swift
Cos you were Romeo, I was a Scarlett Letter.
We were both young when I first saw you
I close my eyes
And the flashback starts
I'm standing there
On a balcony in summer air
See the lights
See the party, the ball gowns
I see you make your way through the crowd
And say hello, little did I know
That you were Romeo, you were throwing pebbles
And my daddy said stay away from Juliet
And I was crying on the staircase
Begging you please don't go, and I said
Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone
I'll be waiting all there's left to do is run
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess
It's a love story baby just say yes
So I sneak out to the garden to see you
We keep quiet 'cause we're dead if they knew
So close your eyes
Escape this town for a little while
'Cause you were Romeo, I was a scarlet letter
And my daddy said stay away from Juliet
But you were everything to me
I was begging you please don't go and I said
Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone
I'll be waiting all there's left to do is run
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess
It's a love story baby just say yes
Romeo save me, they try to tell me how to feel
This love is difficult, but it's real
Don't be afraid, we'll make it out of this mess
It's a love story baby just say yes
Oh oh
I got tired of waiting
Wondering if you were ever coming around
My faith in you is fading
When I met you on the outskirts of town, and I said
Romeo save me I've been feeling so alone
I keep waiting for you but you never come
Is this in my head? I don't know what to think
He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring
And said, marry me Juliet
You'll never have to be alone
I love you and that's all I really know
I talked to your dad, go pick out a white dress
It's a love story baby just say yes
Oh, oh, oh, oh
'Cause we were both young when I first saw you
Cos I don't ever wanna leave you for dead..
Okay. Time for an update while I'm still feeling a bit chatty. I went to the Bone Doctor again today. Gahh. I wanted to knee him in the face so bad when he started messing with my arm. He pushed back on my shoulder, but pulled the rest of my arm forward. It hurt so bad, I was in tears. God, talk about embarrassing. But, he gave me some more Vicodin, and they set up my therapy schedule. I don't know it off the top of my head, but I think it's 3 times a week for 4 weeks. Doug said if I didn't like what the Doctor did, I'm going to hate Therapy. I believe it. I've also had a realization or two.
REALIZATION #1: I've decided what to be this coming Halloween. Yes, I know it's not for another 8 months or so, but I'm one of those weird people that plans it months ahead. I am going to be Mrs. Lovett from Sweeney Todd. So, I need to make some changes for that to be possible. I need to change my hair. I'm getting my hair and eyebrows dyed brown, and I'm getting a perm. Not those frizzy looking tight curls, but looser ones. And, I have yet to decide on which outfit of her's I will wear, but, since wedding dresses are easier to come by, I might wear a wedding dress. For the scene where she fantasizes of marrying Sweeney Todd. So, people, get your cameras ready because this will be the only time you see me in a wedding dress. HaHa.
But, it was only one realization. But, I better go. Bye.
::
2009 14 February :: 3.32pm
:: Mood: eh
:: Music: "Moonlight Sonata" by: Beethoven
V-Day.
It's here. I'm glad it only lasts a day. It's the holiday single women hate. And I do not exclude myself from that category of women. Those who are lonely, bitter, cynical...but the ones that as soon as they get a card or some candy/flowers, they perk right up and say they've always loved this holiday. Contradicting what they said about hating it 5 minutes ago. Yes, that's me. HaHa. I mean, I've never really been fond of Valentine's Day, but, when you're in a relationship, it's easier to get through. But when you're single, you want to drop kick every happy couple you see. No pity please, I'm just venting. I will be fine tomorrow when every piece of chocolate is set at half-price. And it's Brie's birthday tomorrow, so I'll be happy when I see her open the re-gifted presents I am giving her. HaHa. I'm giving her some ear rings I never wear, cosmetic sponges, drawing pencils, candy, 2 nail polishes, and Sweet Pea body lotion. I didn't have any money to buy her anything, and I don't have the two available hands to make her something. I just hope she likes what I can give her.
::
2009 13 February :: 11.46am
:: Mood: creative
:: Music: "Moonlight Sonata" by: Beethoven
Nothing but Classical music, books, and further arm slings.
So, yesterday, Mom and I went to the Bone Doctor that did my surgery. I got the stitches taken out--the front one hurt the worst because some skin had grown over the stitch--and then we did some x-rays. I swear I wanted to punch the x-ray technician for twisting and bending and pulling my arm the way he did. It hurt like hell. No joke. But, we looked over the x-rays in the room and the Doctor told me that I have to keep my arm in the sling for another(get this) 6 weeks! 6 more weeks of not typing as fast as I used to, 6 weeks of not being able to do my hair or make up, 6 more weeks of embarrassing showers because my mom has to help me, and 6 more weeks of having to control my OCD urge to scrub everything in this house. Mom wasn't the least bit happy either. I can't say I blame her because I am...scratch that...was the one who would help out with Ava and get her eady for school and what not. Oh well. Lately I have been trying to relax by reading my books, listening to classical music, and smoking cigarettes. Ha. But, I am not going to continue staying home for the next six weeks or so. I am bound to go mad at any moment. Luckily Jenny has offered to take me on a "date" sometime next week. Where we are going and what we are doing is a mystery to us both. We have no clue what to do.
I find it amusing to go to the grocery store now. People pass me and see my left arm in the sleeve of my coat, but they look and wonder where my right arm is. I have also had plenty of people stare at my arm in the sling as if they are trying to guess what happened to my shoulder. Slipped on ice and broke it? Abusive household(never, fyi)? What could have happened? I hate the real story. "I went to take a swing at my brother and my middle-aged shoulder gave out". HaHa. Some people in Lowell said to my Grandma "Wow, she must have really upset you, huh?". Joking of course.
I also seriously need something to knock me out at night. Because I have been sleeping downstairs on the floor(my Grandpa claims the couch) and even if I go to bed before him, I still wake up around 3-4 in the morning. Either his LOUD snoring wakes me up, the TV that was never shut off or turned down wakes me up, or both. So, this morning I was awake at 3:30. And even going upstairs didn't help much because Brie was in my bed, a couple hours later the kids had to get ready for school, and I kept getting woken up. Shit for sleep. So, I seriously need something that will knock me on my ass and make it to where I do not wake up until at least 9. HaHa.
Anyway, I have nothing else really new going on. Bye.
::
2009 12 February :: 2.23pm
:: Mood: Lazy, tired, and content.
:: Music: "I will be" by: Avril Lavigne
I will be.
There’s nothing I can say to you
Nothing I could ever do to make you see
What you mean to me
All the pain the tears they cry
Still you never said goodbye and now I know how far you’d go
I know I let you down but its not like that now
This time I’ll never let you go
I will be all that you want and get my self together
Cause you keep me from falling apart
All my life I’ll be with you forever
To get you through the day and make every thing OK
I thought that I had every thing I didn’t know what life could bring
But now I see honestly
You're the one thing I got right
The only one I let inside
Now I can breathe 'cause you're here with me
And if I let you down I’ll turn it all around
Cause I would never let you go
I will be all that you want and get my self together
Cause you keep me from falling apart
All my life I’ll be with you forever
To get you through the day and make every thing OK
Cause with out you I can’t sleep
I’m not gonna ever ever let you leave
You’re all I got
You’re all I want
Yeah
And with out you I don’t know what I’ll do
I could never ever live a day with out you
Hear with me do you see your all I need
And I will be all that you want and get my self together
Cause you keep me from falling apart
All my life (my life) I will be with you forever
To get you through the day and make every thing OK
I will be (I’ll be) all that you want and get my self together
Cause you keep me from falling apart
And all my life you know I will be with you forever
To get you through the day and make every thing OK