::
2010 7 September :: 2.50pm
:: Music: Still Waters Run Deep - 69 Eyes
It smells like crisp Autumn air mixed with laundry, and it took my headache away for a minute.
It was a minute that seemed to last forever.
I realize that I've taken a lot for granted lately. Actually, not just lately. In the entirety of my life. All the time, basically every single day.
I know it's impossible to put things in reverse, but at this moment it's all I want.
A reverse button.
Not even to "re-do" anything, but more so to watch..or just to get "that" feeling again.
Every so often as of recently, I've been getting a glimpse of "that" feeling again. Most likely because I'm getting a glimpse of what life should really be like. Thanks to a good, dear friend.. and a possible willingness on my part to go out and do more things (besides turn everyone down who wants to hang out, and sit at home) -- I have felt like I'm living again. Just a little bit.
I think this trip my good friend and I have planned will be just what I need.
All that I need.
It smells like a freshness I've never been able to grip since the day it all ended. The clouds were billows of smoke, in any shape I could think of.
It was periwinkle blue.
Everything was blue, and green.. and bright. Like bright white hospital lights that weren't intimidating. I squinted a lot, I remember, as I dipped my toes in the serene water. I felt the fish nibble a bit, and it always made me jolt and go back for more.
I wandered behind the pond, and glided my fingertips along the petals of a hundred roses. The deep, abundant purple flowers of the Azalea bush caught my attention each time.
I floated on thoughts, and spoke imagination.
I wished for nothing.
I wanted nothing, for I had it all.
The grass never smelled uncut. The sun always shined through the trees, onto the grapevine trellis where I would hide secret treasures. It felt warm, like I was wanted, like a true home's caress.
No matter the season change, I remained invited. The aura called my name, and I never missed a step.
Beauty at its most vulnerable.
Unforeseen by most, witnessed by few.
Never knew I could feel like this
Like I've never seen the sky before
Want to vanish inside your kiss
Everyday I love you more and more
Listen to my heart can you hear it sings
Telling me to give you everything
Seasons may change winter to spring
But I love you until the end of time
Come what may Come what may
I will love you until my dying day
Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place
Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace
Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste
It all revolves around you
And there's no mountain too high no river too wide
Sing out this song and I'll be there by your side
Storm clouds may gather and stars may collide
But I love you I love you until the end of time
Come what may come what may
I will love you until my dying day
Oh come what may come what may
I will love you oh i will love you
Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place
Come what may come what may
I will love you until my dying day
A guy called me a bitch at work today. He looked 16, didn't have an ID so I didn't sell him chew. So he called me a bitch. And I don't know why, but I laughed like it was the funniest damn thing I have heard in a long time.