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2005 20 February :: 6.07pm
:: Mood: unloved
I just want you to love me.
I just want you to care.
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2005 20 February :: 11.35am
:: Mood: apathetic
5 senses survey
»» eyes
1% : what color are your eyes? brown
2% : what color were they when you were born? brown
3% : what color are your lashes? brown/black
4% : do you have bigger pupils than others or smaller? no
5% : have you ever counted the number of times you blink in a second? no
6% : do you wear contacts? no
7% : do you wear glasses? yesssssss ;)
8% : did you ever have eye surgery? no
9% : what was the last thing that poked you in the eye? my finger
10% : can you touch your eyes without finching or does it just gross you out? grosses me outttt
11% : how often do you look into people's eyes when you talk? all the time
12% : what's your favorite eye color?: dark brown
13% : do you ever just go up to someone and look into their eyes because you want to know their eye color? haha yeah
14% : do you wear sunglasses often? nope
15% : what eye color do you wish you had? I like my eye color
16% : can you cross your eyes? yep
17% : do you roll your eyes constantly? no
18% : what's your favorite color? (yes, your favorite color to look at): green
19% : what's the prettiest season and why? fall, the leaves
20% : who's the hottest or cutest person you ever saw? JIM!
21% : what was the last thing you read (bookwise)? A Child Called It
22% : who was the last person you wanted to see? Jim
23% : what was the last thing you watched on tv? Law and Order
24% : do you read the newspaper much? nope
25% : do you read magazines much? not really
26% : do you read much in general? when I have time
27% : what's the first thing you see if you look over and past your computer screen? papers
28% : did you ever see it hailing? yes
29% : don't you hate it when you have sleep in your eyes (like the crusty crap)? lmao, ewwww. yeahhh
30% : close your eyes. (after you read the whole question, dumbie) are there lights still in your lids in with the dark? uhh.. yeah
31% : can you sleep with a light on? a LITTLE light
32% : how light is it outside? very light
33% : can you roll your eyes into the back of your head? not all the way, no
»» ears
1% : do you like your ears? sure, why not
2% : do have them pierced? yes
3% : how many times? 1
4% : what's your favorite sound? music
5% : what's the worst noise in the world? someone annoying talking
6% : are you listening to any music? if so, what song is it? yeah, but I don't know what it's called
7% : what do you hear around you? just the music
8% : what's your favorite song? staind - home
9% : can you wiggle your ears? no
10% : when was the last night you stuck your fingers in your ears so you couldn't hear something and why? I honestly don't know
11% : do your ears have attached lopes or unattached? attached. haha
12% : do your ears get red when your embarassed or any other emotion roars through your body? nope, not that I know of
13% : what was the last thing someone said to you? "bye"
14% : is it annoying to get that ringing noise in there? yes
15% : do you hear voices? no
16% : what was the last thing you heard that you rather didn't? eww.. people having seXXX
17% : what was the last thing you wanted to hear, but never heard it? "I appriciate you Jena"
18% : what was the last piece of advice you were given? "Always follow the speed limit" hahaha
19% : did you ever put a rubber band around your ear? no
20% : go and open the door to outside and what's the first thing you hear? no thanks, it's cold
»» mouth
1% : do you ever stop talking? no, I really don't
2% : who did you talk to last? Jim
3% : what was the last thing you said? "love you, bye"
4% : did you brush your teeth today? yesss
5% : how many times to you usually? 2
6% : who are you talking with now? no one
7% : who do you wish you were talking to? Jim
8% : who was the last person to call you? Jim
9% : who was the last person you called? my Aunt Loraine
10% : who was the last person to IM you? Becky
11% : who was the last person you IMed? Becky
12% : do you talk to yourself? yeah
13% : do you mind? no
14% : as the stupidest thing you said in the past 48 hours? too many things, I say stupid things everyday 3495830945 times a day
15% : do you sing? hell yesss
16% : do you sing in the shower? yep
17% : do you sing in public? not really
18% : do you hum or sing while walking down the halls? (applies to students) haha yes
19% : are you outspoken? I think so
20% : are you opinionated? most definitely
21% : do you speak your mind? Yes
22% : how often do people tell you to shut up, jokingly or not? all the time
23% : are you a public speaker type? no
24% : do you stutter? yes
25% : how many languages do you speak? just English
26% : how often do you scream? quite a lot
27% : are you loud or quiet? LOUD!
28% : does your mouth reflect your personality on the inside? no
29% : who has the coolest/sweetest voice? I don't know
30% : how do you get your voice heard and ideas out? yell
31% : do you often write letters? yes
32% : what was the last song you sung to? "happy birthday" to AMY
33% : what's your usual greeting to a friend? 'hey'
34% : what's your usual greeting to an adult? 'hey'
35% : what's your usual greeting on the phone? 'hello'
36% : what's your favorite food? pizza
37% : what's your favorite gum? EXTRA POLAR ICE
38% : what's your favortie word? 'DEFINITELY'
39% : what's your favorite drink? orange juice
40% : is your tongue pierced? nope
41% : do you like tongue piercings? yess
42% : how about lip piercings? no
43% : ever have braces, how long? yes I have had them.. a year I guess? I don't really remember
44% : do you have a retainer, for how long? yes, I don't know
45% : can you curl your tongue? no
46% : can you whistle, on inhale or exhale? uhhh both
47% : do you grind your teeth? nope
48% : did you have your first kiss yet and with who? yes, with Brian
49% : did you ever french? lmao yes
50% : how many people have you ever kissed, cheek or lips, etc? too many to count ;) haha
51% : off the kissing subject already... did you ever have a filling? yes
52% : if so, how many? no clue
53% : how many cavities? no clue
54% : are you a lipgloss addict? nope
55% : how about chapstick? not really
56% : do you like the dentist? who does?
57% : do you have all four wisdom teeth? no
58% : ever have any teeth pulled? no
59% : how about a root canal? noooo
60% : go to a mirror and count how many teeth you have. how many? lmao, yeahhh right
61% : did you lose all your baby teeth yet? yes
62% : if not, how many to go? ..
63% : what was the last thing you ate? Samoa GS cookies
64% : current taste? nothing
65% : do you bite? WHOA. !%$?!
66% : how often do you snap at people? haha all the time
67% : are your teeth straight? uhhh.. most of them
68% : can you flip you tongue over? no
69% : can you snap your tongue really loud? not loudly, no
70% : can you pop your lips? no
»» nose
1% : is your nose pierced? no
2% : do you like pierced noses? no
3% : current scent?Suave Apple or something
4% : no coke sniffing, right? no
5% : what about pixi stix up the nose ever? uhh.. no
6% : do you hold your nose to swim? lmao, no
7% : can you flare your nostrials? yessss
8% : do you have freckles on the bridge of your nose? no
9% : do you think your nose is big or small? big
10% : do you pick it sometimes? (be honest): haha, yes
11% : do you push your nose to keep your balance? ..no
12% : what's the worst scent? ZEUS'S FARTS!!! lmao!
13% : what's the best scent? Jims cologne
14% : what deodorent do you use? Teen Spirit, baby
15% : what's your favorite cologne? I dunno what it's called.. but Jims
16% : what's your favorite perfume? don't wear it, don't know
17% : what do you use? none
18% : does scent matter in the opposite sex (not as in they shower or not but their cologne or perfume)? yessssssssssssss!
19% : do you blow your nose in public? nope
20% : look around. find a random thing and and smell it. describe it's scent. and then say what it was. I PICKED::::: STICK GLUE! and it smelled like.. STICK GLUE! amazing.
»» touch
1% : what does you keyboard feel like? a keyboard.. omg, it turns me on. lmfao- wtf??
2% : what's the best feeling in the world (emotionally)? love
3% : what's the best feeling in the world (physically)? having sex. haha
4% : what's the worst feeling in the world (emotionally)? love
5% : what's the worst feeling in the world (physically)? being slapped
6% : what do your feet feel like at the moment? tired
7% : what do you hands feel like at the moment? cold
8% : what does your head feel like at the moment? aching
9% : what does your blatter feel like, especially after this? I really do have to pee
10% : what do your legs feel like at the moment? one is tingling..
11% : what do your shoulders and arms feel like at the moment? nothing really
12% : what does your butt feel like at the moment? falling asleep
13% : what does your neck feel like at the moment? tense
14% : are you cold? yes
15% : are you comfortable? not really
16% : where are you? in my room
17% : who was the last person you hugged? Jim
18% : who was the last person that pushed you? Jim
19% : who was the last person that you pushed? Jim
20% : when was the last time you fell over? last night
21% : does music calm you and your nerves? sometimes
22% : if not, then what makes you chill? ..
23% : what stresses you out? everything
24% : when was the last time you touched a doorknob? about 10 minutes ago
25% : do you crack your knuckles? yes
26% : what's your current emotion? TIRED
27% : ever think you were in love? yes
28% : how many times have you fallen for the opposite sex? a lot
29% : what's the worst season (in feeling wise of course)? winter?
30% : how do you feel now, after that long survey? bored. thankful it's over.
Tw1st3dxDr3ams (12:18:37 PM): I appreciate you Jena.
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2005 20 February :: 12.09am
:: Mood: crazy
vanished x heart (12:09:21 AM): well, we're another year older. we better start whippin' out our walkers and scheduling what time we go to mcdonalds and have coffee together every morning around 5am, then our bingo nights.
xxx jena says (12:09:33 AM): lmao
Haha, I love you!!!
HAPPY 17th BIRTHDAY AMY!!!!! ©
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2005 19 February :: 10.51pm
:: Mood: content
So a lot went on this weekend. Because I'm so cool that is.
When I got home from school Friday at like 11:30, my cousins boyfriend Mike took me to Wal*Mart, I drove [[yeah, definitely cool.]] Then I got home and Amy came to pick me up we went to her house then everyone got there for her party.. lmao, Jake don't tell her you came! Oh the drama, pranking people. Def. Always get a kick outta that. haha. We chilled, Jim came up and then we all watched some movies, ate pizza/cake, opened presents, then watched some more movies. Jim left around 12:30-1:00 I think. It was really nice 'cause I got to see my friends, and my baby at the same time. I left Gabrielle at home with my Aunt Loraine.
The next day I woke up at like 10:00, I have like an automatic wake-up system or something. I don't know. But anyways, we all woke up around 11:00, ate and I went down Jims around 1:00. Randis Mom gave me a ride down because it was really cold outside. I got down there and we just chilled. :-P
My Aunt Loraine came to pick me up around 8:30-9:00. Then I came home ate pizza up there, then came home around 10:00, got online and then came home. Whoa, exciting.
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2005 17 February :: 10.00pm
:: Mood: confused
So I haven't written in a few days.. nothing has really been going on. I've been taking PSSAs, I went to school late yesterday, and the whole "Secret Room" at Bentworth.. I'm failing Geometery, Accounting and who knows what else. Do I care? No. I'm looking into cyber school, my mom called and we're waiting for the lady to call me back. Jesus, I'd wish she'd call back already. Well, I can't do anything but wait.
We get a half day tomorrow because of Act 80 day or whatever, I'm not really sure- nor do I care. As long as we get off. We also have Monday off, which is awesome. Except for the fact that I have to watch my sisters, so I can't really do anything.
Tomorrow when I get home from school around noon my cousin Bridg is taking me to Wal*Mart, to get some things for Gab.. then after that I'm coming home watching my sisters then I have I'm going with my Aunt Loraine and Gram to the mall, then if I can get a ride I'm going to Amys birthday party.. weeeee. She called me tonight and wanted to know if she wanted her to pick me up- but she couldn't because I had to watch my sisters 'til six, but I dunno she got mad because I was coming to her party late. *sorry, not my fault Aim* So I need to find a ride. Becky isn't coming, the thing for her Gram is tomorrow. *hugs* love you babe!
Out of everyone in my school that's had a baby, I'm the only one that's had a girl. Hmmm, cool. *random*
I dunno, I came home and crashed today. I get so tired I can't even help it- school takes everything out of me and I don't have anything left when I get home. So I feel terrible that I don't spend time with Gabrielle. There just isn't enough time in the day to do what I want.. I feel like I'm not a good mother because of it. I don't know, I'm just insecure about some things I guess.
Jim and I are going to see the school play on Feb. 25. **Jims 20th birthday!** Just thought I should inform everyone.
Well, this was another useless entry. I'm calling Jim and heading to bed- night.
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2005 15 February :: 7.50pm
:: Mood: moody
complete this sentance:
i am not: pretty.
i hurt: myself, and others.
i love: my daughter.
i hate: you.
i hope: everything turns out okay.
i hear: everything you don't.
i crave: to be loved.
i regret: everything I've done wrong.
i cry: a lot.
i care: about gabrielle and jim.
i always: act bitchy.
i long to: leave home.
i feel alone: all the time.
i listen: to idiots in school.
i hide: myself from you.
i drive: nothing.
i sing: alone.
i dance: at weddings.
i write: in my journal.
i breathe: in air.
i play: games on the internet.
i miss: being young.
i search: for myself.
i learn: something new everyday.
i feel: scared.
i know: things will be okay.
i say: whatevers on my mind.
i succeed: in nothing.
i fail: in everything.
i dream: of beautiful things.
i sleep: restlessly.
i wonder: about how things will be later in life.
i want: to loose weight.
i worry: about Gabrielle.
i have: a lot.
i give: all of myself for Gabrielle.
i fight: for things that I believe in.
i wait: for you to grow up.
i need: love.
i am: a bitch.
i think: about giving up.
i can't help the fact that: I am the way I am.
i stay: because I can't leave.
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2005 14 February :: 9.48pm
:: Mood: naughty
So today school was gay, I'm failing like everything, I'm behind ect. I wore my Valentine PJs, no makeup, and my hair in a pony tail. Hell yes, I love that look. The "I don't give a shit" look. Definitely.
Anyways, I came home to find out that Beckys Gram died. *hugs* I love you babe, if you need anything call me. I'll be there.
I wasn't in all that great of a mood when I woke up either. It's been a year today since my Pap died. Why is everyone that we love taken from us.. and on Valentines day. The day of "love". How can we think of love when you think of the person you loved being taken away from you.
My mom isn't doing well. She can't even get out of bed. I really think she needs to go to the hospital- but she's like "I don't want to pay the bills for it. We can't afford it." But it's kinda just like.. well yeah we might not be able to afford it, but I'd like my Mom to be there when I get married, have more kids.. and just grow up. But no one listens to me- so I don't know.
Jim and I went out today.. it was nice to just actually GO OUT. We went out to eat, to Pizza Hut [my choice.. I wanted it so bad.] And then we went to the mall. He bought me some gum, a purse [SCORE!] and a book. I got home at like 9:45.
"How old do you want me to be?" lol, Jim I didn't mean it that way. <3333
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2005 13 February :: 6.32pm
:: Mood: moody
So my Mom came home - [I still don't know where she was.. I haven't talked to her.] and passed out on the bed. Everyone came down, my Aunt Loraine and Uncle Don gave her a blood sugar test, everythings okay. They made her eat something- and made her go to bed. She can't stand up. They think she is just so tired that she can't go anymore. So she's still sleeping.
Maybe if someone would get a real job, then she wouldn't have to be working from 10 in the morning until 2-3 in the morning. Yeah.. whatever, no one listens to what I say.. It's not like I matter.
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2005 13 February :: 12.58pm
:: Mood: bitchy
:: Music: Jimmy Eat World - Pain
So yesterday I didn't even write.. whoa.
Becky came over yesterday. We just chilled, watched some DVDs decorated our planners, made fun of each other.. haha. Definitely. Becky, I like YOUR sleeves.
Today I dunno, I woke up around 8:00 Gabrielle woke me up to eat. So I fed her and went back to sleep.. I was so freakin' tired. I don't know how Becky gets up at like 7:30 and stays up. That's like crazy. Anyways- I woke up about 9:30.. Becky left at like 11:00. She's dumb. :)
My sister Samantha came home at around 11:00 too, and she knocked on my Moms bedroom door and no one answered so she opened the door and just George was in the bed sleeping- uh okay? Where's my mom.. we can't find her. We've looked through the whole house, called people, and called the bar. She's not answering her cell phone. Okay.. no one knows where she is. So I'll update about that later.. I hope she's okay.
A little thing that has been bothering me- why do people put their numbers in their info!? I do not understand, do they WANT people to come stalk and kill them? Is it just me, or does anyone else think that's retarded?? I mean, yeah it's fine to put your number in your away message, but not with the area code. I swear, people are stupid anymore. But whatever floats their boats.
Today Jim is supposed to come over.. weeee- I hope he does. :-D
Tomorrow is Valentines day. Mmmmmmm. Y
On another note- I hate my hair. That's all.
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2005 11 February :: 11.28am
:: Mood: scared
soooo scared..
OMG, I'M GOING TO GET MY HAIR CUT.. OKAY. OMG, WHOA. I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M GOING TO DO IT.. I'M SO SCARED. THE HAIR CUT I WANT IS KINDA SHORT FOR ME.. OMG! WHAT IF I DON'T LIKE IT!?!?!???!! whoaaaaaaa, I'm like freaking out!
Here is my "before" picture:
Read more..
My "after" picture:
Read more..
No, I don't want to talk about it.
I hate it. It's not what I wanted.
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2005 10 February :: 12.41pm
:: Mood: apathetic
A little bit about Jena.
I love to eat tuna. It's my obsession- with crackers I'd die for it.
I have a daughter Gabrielle, and a boyfriend of 2 years Jim. I love them both very much.
If there was one thing I could change about me, it'd be making myself more likeable- because I can definitely be a bitch sometimes.
I love doritos.. any kind.
I hate warm cheese.
I don't like girls. Basicly because they're backstabbing little whores who try to take your boyfriend- but I do have a few girl friends that I adore and would do anything for. I love them a lot.
I love quotes, cards, and anything that holds a memory. That's why my room looks like a garbage can- I keep everything that anyone gives me.
I'm a perfectionist with some things, like my journal/info/planner [from school]/anything that I make. I don't know why. It has to look perfect before I'm happy. If it doesn't look perfect then I re-do it.
I like to change the look of things a lot, that's why I always change the look of my journal, and decorate all of my belongings.
If I don't like you, I don't like you.
I am definitly a bitch, and yes I'll say something to you if I don't like what you're saying/doing. I'm not scared of saying what's on my mind.
I miss a lot of school. I don't like school.
I love glitter, glue, markers, crayons, paint, all that kinda stuff. I love decorating things to.
OREO ice cream is my favorite.
I love snickers, snickers crunch, and Extra Polar Ice gum.
If you have something to say to me, say it to my face. Don't write it in your journal- don't say it to a friend. Say it to me. Nothing pisses me off more than that. kthanks!
If I'm upset about something in my life, I tend to write a lot in my journal. Don't mind that- it's just something I do.. just ignore me.
I love pictures, I love stationary.. I love quotes on stationary with pictures on it.
I keep all my birthday cards/valentines day cards/any cards anyone gives me. Why? Dunno. It's something I do.
I collect buttons. I love them. I have tons. If you have any you want to add- just hand 'em over. I'll accept!
Yes, I do sleep with a stuffed animal. Mr. Floppers is his name, Jim bought him for me when we went on vacation together.
I have a thing with purses. I love them. I can't get enough of them. I change purses at least every few weeks.
I used to collect stickers, until my sister stole all of my stickers and I don't know what she did with them.. so I no longer do that. But I still have lots of NEW stickers. But I no longer collect them.. I still can't believe she took them. I'm still upset.
I used to have one of the largest braclet collections. Again, until my sister took most of them. *sigh* I no longer wear lots of braclets.
I collect tops of beer bottles/wine coolers/mikes/zima ect. bottles. I'm currently making something out of them so again- I'll accept any that anyone gives me!
I listen to all kinds of music, not just 'one type'.
I love orange juice.
It takes me a long time to write an entry, I don't really know why.. I think because I take my time. I do type fast; but I just will type something and then walk away for a bit or I'll type something and then go on a different site to look for something.. I get side tracked easily.
I love the word definitely.
My favorite movie is Moulin Rouge.
I don't have a lot of friends because I choose not to.
I don't write in this diary for other people, I do it for myself. And yes, this goes out to anyone who thinks I'm trying to make my life seem "harder" than everyone elses. You can say whatever you want to say about my journal- It's mine. If you don't like what I have to say;; don't read it. It's that simple.
I don't like smoking cigaretts, and in fact I hate them. I hate the fact that just becase someone else smokes, you have to pay for it to. No, I don't allow people to smoke around Gabrielle- at all. Go ruin your own life, not ours.
No, I really don't like people younger than me. I think they're very immature and need to grow up. Yes, I was like them at one time. But I grew up, and sorry maybe I do set my standards a little high.. but act your age.
I something's cool- I'll tell you. If something's not cool- I'll tell you.
Yes, I've smoked weed. Yes, I've done it multipul times. No, I don't do it anymore. I've grown up- I have a daughter and I take responsibility for her. I'm not going to put her in danger just to get high and "feel good".
I think underage drinking is fine- to an extent. Don't go get so trashed that you don't know what you're doing.. but I think it's acceptable to have a few beer/Mikes/Zima/whatever you prefer.
I love candles.
Driving is fun. Though I think I suck.
I've been in an AIR PLANE. WHOAAAAAAAa.
I've had sex. [obviously.]
I can't spell worth shit.
My Dad died when I was 6 months old from a brain tumor that they can now get rid of with the new surgery that came out about 5 years after he died.
I'm scared of getting stuck in an elevator- and I'm terrified of when I get in an elevator that the cables will snap and we'll go falling down and die.
When I'm on the highway I have to close my eyes when we're in the left lane.. when the wall barrior is on the left of the car and a big tractor trailor is on the right. I'm scared of the tractor trailor coming over and smashing us against the barrior.
I like stars.
I enjoy comments on my journal- that means everyone who reads my journal that doesn't have a journal on woohu.com. You can leave a comment to. All you have to do is click on "ok" and then click the little box that says "Anonymous". And then type something in the little text box. KGREAT. Now that I've taught everyone how to leave one, I should get some.
Well, I think that's enough today.. Yes I'm bored, tired, sick, in pain, and wanting to take a nap. Which I really should do because Gabrielle is sleeping. But I think I'll go wash some clothes then get a shower. Blah. I want to drive somewhere.
---****The doctor just called and was like "Is Ms. Pust there?" I was like "This is her" Well he said that the doctors were looking at the x-ray they took of my chest and that I have a slight case of phenomia [sp?] but that the new meds I'm on will take care of it, but to be patient- it'll take a little while. NO. I WANT TO BE BETTER NOW! That's what I wanted to scream, but I just said "Alright, thank you doctor." and we hung up. Will the sickness ever fucking end?!
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2005 10 February :: 9.15am
:: Mood: contemplative
If you never read anything in my journal, click these links and read. kthanks.
Think about smoking cigarettes?
Weed.
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2005 9 February :: 9.49pm
:: Mood: moody
So I woke up and after the whole staying home, not remembering what my Mom said ordeal, we went to the Sand Bar.. Matt my Mom and I made cabbage and noodles. Mmmmm, sooo good. Then my Mom made me some tuna. That was really good to. Around 2:00 Dustin came to get me to take me to the hospital for my ribs, but then he was like "Oh, well I have to go to Chucks- I thought I was just dropping her off.. I'll be back in an hour to take her." So my Mom got mad and had Matt take me. So I got there at 3:00, my Aunt Loraine gets off work at 3:30 [she works at the hospital.] and she came down and stayed with me. I was there for 5 1/2 hours.
I got there, got registered and everything and they didn't even take me back into the ER for 2 hours. Then when I did get back there, I wasn't seen for about 15 minutes. I had to give them a urine sample to make sure that I wasn't pregnant- I told them that I wasn't, but the nurse was like "Oh well we have to just to make sure because you're getting an x-ray." THAT WAS THE LONGEST 15 MINUTES OF MY LIFE. Okay, yes I knew I wasn't pregnant- but just the idea of it.. it scared me to death. I was sitting there and I kept telling myself that I wasn't pregnant I wasn't pregnant I wasn't pregnant. I don't know why I was so upset about it because I haven't missed a period or anything. I was just terrified. But finially after 15 minutes of horror, the doctor said "Okay, lets go get that x-ray." FINALLY. So I went back and got x-rays of my ribs to make sure everything was okay. And everything is okay- I have no cracked/broken ribs. I have a very bad case of bronchitus [sp???] and some Pleurisy or something that's making my ribs/that area so sore that it makes me feel like I have broken ribs.. so I'm very glad that all my ribs are intact. I didn't even get home until like 8:30. I have an inhaler that I have to take 4 times a day, and I have 2 prescriptions that I have to get filled. I know one of them cost $60, and I have no clue how much the other one costs.. I don't think I want to know.
So no school for me tomorrow because one of the meds I'm on makes me very drowsy. Ahhh, great. I hate this stupid shit;; I just want to feel better!!!!
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2005 9 February :: 11.00am
:: Mood: cranky
Well gee, where am I? At home. I called my mom last night to see whether or not I should go to school because she is taking me to the hospital today. She said to stay home. But I said "Oh, I think I should go because I've been missing a lot of school." So she said okay, and that she would try to get my brother to pick me up after school so I wouldn't have to go on the bus. She said that she'd call me and leave me a message on my cell when she gotta hold of him. Well I went to bed pretty early last night because I was exhausted. I guess she called me and talked to me and told me that Dustin would just pick me up and then take me to the Sand Bar and she'd take me to the hospital from there.
Well when I woke up this morning, I had no clue that she called me, and I do not remember her telling me that. So I tried and tried to wake her up.. but she wouldn't wake up. [Her and George closed the bar last night.. so they didn't get home 'til about 3:00] I just figure that I'd stay home just incase no one could pick me up because I can not ride the bus- it kills my ribs.
My mom woke up around 9:45 when Gabrielle woke up and started fussing came in my room and was like "Why are you home?" I thought she was mad at me; it turns out she wasn't.. but I guess she thought that she came in my room and checked on Gabrielle earlier and didn't see me. Hmmm..
I tried to call Kelly earlier this morning, but her phone went straight to her message box thingy, and I can't call her cell because she never has it. I probably fell back asleep though because my mom was like "Who was knocking on the door earlier this morning?" It was probably Kelly.
Hmmmm.. Becky's like the only one that comments on my journal anymore. Why have friends if they don't comment? I don't know.
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2005 8 February :: 9.31pm
:: Mood: depressed
:: Music: Jim in my ear.
Well I called my mom because my ribs are hurting too much. I'm going to the hospital tomorrow [finally!] I kept putting it off saying "I'm fine" "I'm alright" but it's really starting to hurt now. My mom wanted me to just stay home tomorrow- but I told her that I actually wanted to go to school because I've been missing so much. Very mature of me- huh? ;) Right now I'm on the phone with Jim. I'm really tired because I can't sleep. I haven't had a good nights rest in so long- I don't even remember what that is. There is no school on Friday, and Becky is staying over on Saturday, then my sister Annas birthday party is on Sunday. I really hope I get to see Jim this weekend. I miss him.
What's the use in having a permit if you never use it? Uhhhh.. I don't know, I wish I knew the answer. But anyways, my brothers friend killed herself the other day.. I just found out yesterday, he's really upset about it. I just wish I could say something to console him- but we really aren't as close as we should be.. so what can I say? I feel terrible though.
I notice when I get sad or something's wrong in my life I often tend to write a lot in my journal, I take up useless space.. rambling on about things that don't really matter. Why? I'm not really sure. It doesn't make me feel better. Or maybe it does. I just don't know.
I really should be doing my homework, but then again- I don't want to. How's that quote go? "You can't avoid responsibility tomorrow by ignoring it today." I know that's not exactly it; but it goes something like that.
Oh yeah, those quiz results are definitely right. I am too cool for school. <3
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