poisonedheart
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2007 13 December :: 9.50pm
A poem about woohu, written after reading people's old entries
These old journal entries
They read like a back catalogue
of our sorrows
Looking back on so much pain, it hurts
Yet we go on
And live each of our days
So much anguish we have felt, it hurts
Day by day we forget past torments
but if we look back, the pain still haunts us
Our lives are ever changing
Ever constant, ever painful, ever blissful
And the pain we feel each of our days
It gets swallowed up
With the joy of a new dawn
Yet the pain remains
These pages remain
We still hurt
We still heal
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poisonedheart
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2007 26 November :: 8.57pm
Life is changing lately, and I think I'm happy about it.
Jen's stopped being so emotionally dependent on me, which is really good, hell, I've barely even talked to her in the last few weeks, been spending most of my free time hanging out with Chen Chen or Jason.
I've become more confident in myself lately, something I've always been bad about, I always used to think I couldn't do anything right, but that's all changing.
Still a little depressed due to my total lack of any sort of love-life, but meh, I'm used to that.
Overall though, life is looking up.
You wanna play?
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aerii
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2007 15 November :: 8.03pm
So some girl in Liberty Lake is drawing a picture of Nicole, but it's kind of weird because they've never met, and she never asked Nicole if it was okay. It's really freaking good though, and I want to buy it.
So imma find out how much she's selling in for in January, but it's even weirder because she's selling it at the Empyrean.
:D
Read more..
I'm stoked. I get to see Nicole on Wednesday. :D:D
It has been far too long since I've seen that girl. It's going to be amazing.
1 were foolish.. |
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poisonedheart
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2007 9 November :: 9.00pm
I was blonde as a child.
2 were foolish.. |
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poisonedheart
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2007 8 November :: 10.02pm
I wish she'd get out of that relationship, no matter how much she says it makes her happy, it's making her worse day by day, and she's just being used, and deep down she knows that.
1 were foolish.. |
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aerii
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2007 8 November :: 4.06pm
thanks for ruining my day.
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aerii
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2007 7 November :: 7.22pm
I'm pretty sure Natalie Portman's Shaved Head started the whole sideways pony tail thing, and not Katelyn Eyford.
It must be hard for her though, with people wearing the same hair style and all. God forbid.
You wanna play?
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aerii
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2007 6 November :: 8.13pm
i just want it back.
i just want to be able to sit and talk and laugh.
and not have to hide all the time.
i want to feel safe.
You wanna play?
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aerii
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2007 6 November :: 7.18pm
what career are you going to pursue?
a logger. what else am i going to do with a saw for a foot?
You wanna play?
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aerii
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2007 6 November :: 5.43am
"The best thing, though, in that museum was that everything always stayed right where it was. Nobody'd move. You could go there a hundred thousand times, and that Eskimo would still be just finished catching those two fish, the birds would still be on their way south, the deers would still be drinking out of that water hole, with their pretty antlers and their pretty, skinny legs, and that squaw with the naked bosom would still be weaving that same basket. Nobody'd be different. The only thing that would be different would be you. Not that you'd be so much older or anything. It wouldn't be that exactly. You'd just be different, that's all. You'd have and overcoat on this time. Or the kid that was your partner in line last time had got scarlet fever and you'd have a new partner. Or you'd have a substitute taking the class, instead of Miss Aigletiner. Or you'd heard your mother and father having a terrific fight in the bathroom. Or you'd just passed by one of those puddles in the street with gasoline rainbows in them. I mean you'd be different in some way--I can't explain what I mean. and even if i could, I'm not sure I'd feel like it."
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aerii
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2007 4 November :: 3.25pm
This would not have happened if I hadn't missed my plane
I would've been there when they told you I'm the rat within the grain
Within this big misunderstanding now, I'm being misunderstood
I'm thinkin' someone's trying to fuck with me and set fire to my wood
I wouldn't want you to want to be wanted by me
I wouldn't want you to worry you'd be drowned within my sea
I only wanted to be wonderful, and wonderful is true
In truth, I only really wanted to be wanted by you
It's a stupid situation now where everything goes wrong
If you can't tell if I am lying, then you do not belong
In my bed, go rest your head upon the bones of a bigger man
And he can cover you with rockwool and you can close up like a clam
'Cause I wouldn't want you to want to be wanted by me
I wouldn't want you to worry you'd be drowned within my sea
I only wanted to be wonderful, and wonderful is true
In truth, I only really wanted to be wanted by you
So go play with your piano and write a mediocre song
About this shell of mediocrity
And pretend there's nothing wrong
I never thought you were a chicken shit
I never thought of you at all
Until you asked me to be part of it
And now you're showing me a wall
I wouldn't want you to want to be wanted by me
I wouldn't want you to worry you'd be drowned within my sea
I only wanted to be wonderful and wonderful is true
In truth, I only really wanted to be wanted by you
La la la...
In truth, I only really wanted to be wanted by you
You wanna play?
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poisonedheart
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2007 30 October :: 7.38pm
"If The Brakeman Turns My Way" - Bright Eyes
When panic grips your body and your heart is a hummingbird
Raven thoughts blacken your mind until you're breathing in reverse
All your friends and sedatives mean well but make it worse
Every reassurance just magnifies the doubt
Better find yourself a place to level out
Got a cricket for a conscience always looks the other way
A cocaine soul starts seeming like an empty cabaret
Hey, where have all the dancers gone? Now the music doesn't play
Tried to listen to the river but you couldn't shut your mouth
Better take a little time to level out
I never thought of running
My feet just led the way
Mixed up Signals
Bullet Train
Cars are switched out in the crazy rain
I could meet you any place
If the Brakeman turns my way
All this automatic writing I have tried to understand
From a psychedelic angel who was tugging on my hand
It's an infinite coincidence but it doesn't form a plan
So I'm headed for New England or the Paris of the South
Gonna find myself somewhere to level out
Are your brothels full, Oh Babylon, with merry Middlemen?
Never peer out of their periscopes from those deep opium dens
All this death must need a counterweight always someone born again
First a mother bathes her child then the other way around
The Scales always find a way to level out
I tried to pass for nothing
But my dreams gave me away
Mixed up Signals
Bullet Train
People snuffed out in the brutal rain
I could live to any age
If the Brakeman turns my way
It is an old world it's hard to remember
Like a dime store mystery
I'm a repeat first time offender
Who has rewritten history
Mixed up tea leaves
Phantom Pain
Fuzzy logic in the crazy rain
Getting better every day
If the Brakeman turns my way
Mixed up Signals
Bullet Train
Cars are switched out in the blinding rain
He'll be smiling as he seals my fate
When the Brakeman turns my way
You wanna play?
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aerii
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2007 30 October :: 5.58am
this week is going to be so shitty.
1. write personal essay by friday
2. write proposal essay for senior culminating project by friday
3. figure out what to do for senior culminating project
4. finish biome project for neff
5. halloween
6. birthday
7. talk to councilor about senior culminating project & college shit.
8. buy some knives
9. edit my senior pictures and turn them in (SOOOO LATE)
10. figure out senior quote and turn it in
slkdjflsdkjflskdfj
oh well, life goes on.
:D
You wanna play?
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poisonedheart
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2007 27 October :: 8.05pm
Well, so closes that chapter of my life I guess, it's just two years down the drain.
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poisonedheart
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2007 25 October :: 10.25pm
You wanna play?
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