thank god i'm not the jealous type, uh huh....

alright, well i've been using livejournal...but i don't like the layout that much because i want more than one entry to show at a time & some other stuff. plus i DID pay $2 for this one. !! so i might as well keep it.

i'm not gonna update you to the current if you want to read whats been going on recently just go www.livejournal.com/xfatalxbeautyx

so today was alright until the moment i walked into 3rd period. to my surprise i was soon to discover that i'd have to spend the remainder of the year in english class with joe reily. eh, not that i have a problem with him...but theres too much history there, & i'm not trying to remember it--which happens to a lot of people when they have to see their ex everyday for about 40 minutes. which doesn't sound so bad to some people. but to me its like...wtf why me? i'm just glad i'm not the only person in my class that felt that way when we found out he would be in our class.

moving on...as of now i'm waiting for rian to get off work & come over. he's sleeping over, man i'm gonna be SO beat tomorrow. you tend to sleep bad when you share a single size bed with another person. & trust me its not easy. but i just don't have the heart to make him sleep on the couch in my room, especially since we don't get to see eachother much, since i have school & he has work then i have work on the weekends & he does too sometimes. it's kinda hard but i think i'm fine with it. it's not good to ALWAYS be with one another, we tend to fight more when that happens...

so today is exactly four months till i get my license, my dad's gotta take me practicing for parallel parking because i had to do it the other day at the funeral in front of the church & it was bad lol. i used to be so good, but i haven't done it since march when i was in driving school. eh i'm not worried i'll be fineeee.

ok that's enough for now, i'm not feeling very emotional.


<3

we're nothing short of invincible

so, i'm back. i actually wanted to come home so bad i wanted to leave early. i missed my baby, & my friends & it was getting annoying in va beach. anyway, good news..rian got a job *applause* it a good job one in which he can build his future with in being a mechanic. & he gets dental & health benefits & gets 9 an hour, can't beat that. its awesome i'm happy. he can spoil me now..j/k. hes at work right now, i'm bored i haven't done anything productive all day, i slept thru half the day waking up at 1:15, but i like sleeping in. ok so right now theres like a tornado warning? but i have no idea how close any of these places are to me hahah. so i'll just sit here by myself waiting for some tornado to come & tear up my stupid house. it wouldn't matter. wait, i lied i did do something productive, i got rid of a stupid virus i had woohoo. today is july 14th that means its Bastille Day in France & more impotantly it means that theres only 12 more days till me & rians 1 year anniversary!i'm excited, & i'm proud of us for making it thru everything it proves that our love can conquer all<3 well i'm going off to do some other non productive things byee.

she's beautiful as usual...
with bruises on her ego, &
her killer instinct tells her to
be [.aware.] of evil men _*

i know forever isn't long enough to forget the faces & places, that played out your tragedy...

this will be the last entry for a while, because i won't have a computer when i get to the beach. i'm goin to some party today for the 4th of july, then tomorrow i'll be at the beach watchin the fire works, it will be awesome like it always is, afterwards i'll prolly be bored. i spent a lotta money at bush gardens but i don't care cause i got cool stufff..i got an airbrushed shirt that says Bridget & Rian <33 & then i got a keychain that says my name, theyre both perty. anyways, i'm gonna go to see kristens journal so i'll write when i get back to NJ.<3

well, i'm in virginia williamsburg to be more specific, i'm visiting my cousins, then i'm going to va beach to see the other side of my family & we're staying in the same hotel we always stay in every year. nothing different. i'll be back july 9th, i already miss my boyfriend, & my friends. i have work the very next day i come back, i think we're leaving friday night, & getting back saturday morning, & i have work saturday at 2, so i might not even be able to see rian until i get off work which will be late, like 1230 100 in the morning. it sucks. but its what i gotta do...anyways...theres not much else to say, i gotta go because i'm on dial-up, & i have to make a phone call. i'll write again later. see ya.


courtesy came calling with her best friend common sense,
unaware that malice & manipulation had taken up residence.
caring came to the crime scene, but blood lust beat them back,
so apathy could laugh with his compadres, and anger could attack

whats left to hope for, whats left to believe?

hmm...ok well lets see where to start? i didn't go to my last day of school...basically wednesday night i went to Krystans graduation ( rians sister ) & then i just didn't feel like going home or going to school since the 17th (the last day of school) was also rians 21st bday. so yeah i just didn't go, fuck that lol. its pointless. then uhmn friday, me rian & chris all went to Ocean City it was cool...i brought my video camera =). uhmn, so then saturday i had work all day & night...about 11 hours yeah..& now i'm still awake posting in here. so that brings us up to date.

chris brought this cd he burned, & on it he had a band called ever after, they are so fucking awesome, its like the definition of musical orgasm...yeah look for them on purevolume.com...they have a piano, its sick.

so anyway...i'm goin to be leavin for VA on the 27th...so right after work on saturday..since i will be getting home late i'll have to leave. then i don't come back for 12 days.. the 9th. yeah i'm gonna miss everyone, especially rian<3 =/ oh well it'll be ok..cause then after i get back it will only be like 17 days till our 1 year...i can't wait. i can't believe its already 1 year...its gone by so fast..i feel like it was just yesterday that i was sneaking out of the house to meet him :x i was such a rebel lmao. but we've come a long way...& hes finally quitting smoking for real...so i hope he makes it. anyways i'm tired i'll post in here later...or whatever...bye.

You wont be comin' back
and I didn't get to say goodbye
I really wish I got to say goodbye
and I'm sure the view from heaven
beats the hell out of mine here
and if we all believe in heaven
maybe we'll make it through one more year
I hope that all is well in heaven
cause it's all shot to hell down here
I hope that I find you in heaven
cause I'm so lost without you down here
you won't be coming back
and I didn't get to say goodbye
I really wish I got to say goodbye

mommy<3

This is love. This is murderous.
i am vindicated...
i am selfish....
i am wrong....
i am right.....
i swear i'm right....
i swear i knew it all along......
& i am flawed.....
but i am cleaning up so well...
i am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself....


So turn
Up the corners of your lips
Part them and feel my finger tips
Trace the moment, fall forever
Defense is paper thin
Just one touch and I'd be in
Too deep now to ever swim against the current
So let me slip away
So let me slip against the current
So let me slip away

Slight hope
It dangles on a string
Like slow spinning redemption...


2 days of school left =).
then having the best
summer of my life, b/c
it will be spent with my
wonderful friends & my
future fucking husband<3

follow your heart this time...

it's easier said then done. i'm out of things to say, i'm out of answers.

i wish i could have one more conversation, i would give absolutely anything for it. it will never happen, & i can't do anything about it. somethings can't be changed..so i'll cry myself to sleep for another night. hoping that your help will come in my dreams, somehow.









Fragile leaves hit the ground. the cold air drifts into my lungs. I see your face through the fog. reminds me of the dreams you lost. I can see it in your eyes. you’re broken down; your hands are tied. I can feel it in my side. over and over and over I’ve tried. you’re broken down; your hands are tied. and I know you cannot hide. over and over and over I’ve tried. it broke my heart. it felt so good to see you. I’ve never been one to put my trust in. when did I become so weak, or have I always been? I can’t put all this back in place. this gaping hole in my chest is filled with deceit. I fear that all my cries fell upon deaf ears. I caress flesh with severed nerves. I go veiled in darkness and disease. this november swallows me whole. and this may be the closest thing that you’ll ever receive to an apology. I close my eyes and I can see you dead.

hey honey hold my hand & hope for heaven....

well,not much has really happened lately i've got about 8 days of school left, which is awesome. i didn't do much this weekend, i worked then i went to rians because ashleys car broked down & we couldn't hang out, but this sunday we'll attempt it again. i'm glad i got to see my baby tho cause i hadn't seen him in 5 days. but i dunno its a good thing we don't see eachother everyday, cause when that happens we usually get in little fights because i guess we get agitated with eachother, but when i saw him yesterday there wasn't any of that...we were just happy to see eachother.

i'm so tired of school it's the lamest thing ever...i mean it just got so ridiculously gay. period. i mean we got gangs, one with emo kids, & one against them? & this name they have for it...the "monroe hustle" can't you people find anything else to do, besides going around talking shit & carrying bats? & not to mention beating girls with skateboards? if you're gonna fight, then fight like you have some balls, fight with your fists not bats, & not by going to jump people. but then again some of those pants are a little too tight for you to even have balls in the first place.

don't get me wrong, some of you guys are cool, & shit... wear whatever you want, hell if i care. but uhmn, starting a gang is a little drastic & taking it this far is even more ridiculous, so i mean if i were you guys i would just stop, quit, & get out while you're still alive & not in jail being someones bitch.
anyways, when all is said & done i'm tired of hearing about this shit.

summer will be here soon & set me free. i can't fucking wait.




you can make any girl feel like they own the world?
yeah well, I can make any guy consider suicide. <3

won't you be my answer?

wow, when i said i wanted drama just for things to change, i didn't think it would come so hard. i think everything is done now, the drama i mean. thank god. now i hope things can just...happen...without me helping it along making things worse. i dunno i guess i feel somewhat relieved...i do know that i'm not gonna turn my back & walk out on love...not with the way things are now, it's just not worth the loss & the heartache. & believe me if that loss were to have happened, a very big peice of my heart & who i am would of been lost to, i can guarentee it. i don't think anyone could know how it feels, unless you're truly in love with someone. some people think they know, but those are people who've never been in love. its easy to tell someone what to do, when you're not the one that has to do it & suffer from it. i mean how would you feel when everything you've ever known gets thrown aside? & then suddenly, the impact of reality hits you, but you have nothing & no one to hold on to. its one of the most frightening feelings ever. i'll admit i'm young & dumb, so i'm gonna mess up..but once i make a mistake once, i'll never do it again. i just don't like empty promises, cause they can bring us to an end...

& in case you were wondering, you are everything to me

in one week i got a demerit & a 1 day suspension, it's like new to me the first time for both lol. i'm excited, i get to sleep in tomorrow, & rians sleeping over tonight. i cut gym, i got a pass from my ss teacher to go to the library the next pd & i didn't go to gym, just straight to the library. well i got written up for cutting, & so here i am. the demerit is nothing it's pointless, it was for dresscode violation, my shorts were too short, but i was too hot to put my jeans back on after coming in from gym & like 20 other girls kept their shorts on but i got in trouble by one of our vice principals. its was bullshit, but thats expected from my gay school. i have two years left them i'm out of that ridiculously hipocritical school. "rules are made with all intensions to break" so whats the point of punishment? people are always going to do what they want, just because you get punished doesn't mean anything, obviously they don't care about punishment so your not affecting them. i mean its a day off from school excused, when you get suspended. i mean its a pretty redundant punishment if you ask me. but hey, what do i know, i'm a niave teenager, who thinks "i know everything". what i do know is that school can suck a whale dick. i don't care i just wanna graduate.


it's late afternoon. & the last remnants of the day are fading. the sky is slowly changing color, & as i was watching the sun go down, i remember thinking aout that brief, flickering moment, when day suddenly turns into night. dusk, i then realized, is just an illusion, because the sun is either above the horizon or below it, & that means that day & night are linked in a way that few things are; there cannot be one without the other, yet they cannot exist at the same time. How would it feel, i remember wondering, to be always together, yet forever apart?

Our souls were one, if you must know,
and never shall they be apart;
with slplendid dawn, your face aglow
i reach for you & find my heart.

God is with you, he must be, for you are the closest thing to an angel that i've ever met.


Who am i? & how, i wonder, will this story end?

he can't understand, how everyone goes on breathing when true love ends...
The Tide

And there's three, count 'em three
children playing on the beach
They were eager to learn,
to be taught and to teach

There's Veronica
She's biting her lip
as she watches the waves turn white at the tip
And there's Vada
Radiating with joy
and luckily she still can't stand the sight of a boy
And lastly there's Dade
His hair dances in the wind
and he's wondering what love is
And why it has to end

And he can't understand
how everyone goes on breathing when true love ends
His mother whispers quietly...
Heaven's not a place that you go when you die
It's that moment in life when you actually feel alive
So live for the moment
And take this advice, live by every word
Love is just a hoax so forget anything that you have heard
and live for the moment now

And there's three, count 'em three
children growing on the beach
They were eager to learn,
to be taught and to teach

There's Veronica
She's licking her lips
as she waits for her real, first passionate kiss
And there's Vada
Can't admit her jealousy
of her sister Veronica, and how she's so pretty (and how she's so pretty)
Lastly there's Dade
Still sitting on the dock
Ponders his life, and he skips his rocks
And he wonders when his father will return
but he's not coming back

And he can't understand
how everyone goes on breathing when true love ends
His mother whispers quietly...
Heaven's not a place that you go when you die
It's that moment in life when you actually feel alive
So live for the moment
And take this advice, live by every word
Love is just a hoax so forget everything that you have heard (forget everything)

And there's three, count 'em three
children missing from the beach
They were eager to learn,
to be taught and to teach

But the sad thing
is that they never lived passed the age of fifteen
due to neglect from their mother
Who was bed ridden by her ex-lover, their father
She didn't even notice, or pay much attention
as the tide came in and swept her three into the ocean
Now all her advice, it seems useless

No, heaven's not a place that you go when you die
It's that moment in life when you touch her and you feel alive
So live for the moment
And take this advice, live by every word
Love's completely real, so forget anything that you've heard
and live for the moment now



So Much

How does it feel to know you're everything I need
The butterflies in my stomach
they could bring me to my knees
How does it feel to know you're everything I want
I've got a hard time saying this
so I'll sing it in a song

Oh I adore the way you carry yourself
With the grace of a thousand angels overhead
I love the way the galaxy starts to melt
When we become one
When we become one
When we become one
When we become one

How does it feel
How does it feel when we get locked into a stare?
Please don't come looking for me
when I get lost in the mess of your hair
How do you feel when everything you've known
gets thrown aside
Never fear, my dear, 'cause we have nothing left to hide

Oh I adore the way you carry yourself
With the grace of a thousand angels overhead
I love the way the galaxy starts to melt

Hold on to me girl
If you feel your grip getting loose
just know that I'm right next to you
Hold on to me girl
If you feel your grip getting loose
Just know that I won't let you down

Well, I'm ready
Well, I'm ready
I am ready
To run away with you
Are you ready?
Are you ready?
Are you ready?
To run away with me

Pack your things we can leave today
Pack your things we can leave today
Say our goodbyes and get on the train
Say goodbye
Just you and I in the sweet unknown
We can just call each other our home

If I had to choose a way to die
it'd be with you
In a goosebump infested embrace
With my overanxious hands cupping your face
In a goosebump infested embrace
With my overanxious hands cupping your cherub face

How does it feel?


The Night Will Go As Follows

In a romantic fashion
I will experiment with my fear right before her eyes
And every smile that's unveiled will be soaked
in my nervous charm

Then I'll say
"Is everything alright?
there's been a few things I've been meaning
to let go of tonight"
And she will say
"Everything's just fine
so you can put an end to your worrying mind"
And then our lips will collide

The August sky will then bare witness
to a brand new chapter with torn up pages
When the planets align, I can feel the gates opening
to my courage
As I proceed to run my fingers through her hair
And forget everyone who's jaded, 'cause they don't matter
and I don't care

In a confident fashion
I will admit my deepest and darkest to her
And every gaze across the table
Will send my unsuspecting body into shock

Then I'll say
"Would you like to go inside?
and forget the world and the rules
by which we are to abide"
And she will say
"There's nothing I want more"
As we step into the room, turn off the lights and close the door

The August sky will then bare witness
to a brand new chapter with torn up pages
When the planets align, I can feel the gates opening
to my courage
As I proceed to run my fingers through her hair
And forget everyone who's jaded, 'cause they don't matter
and I don't care
No, 'cause they don't matter
and I don't care

Brash and hopeful
That my luck will not perish tonight
When the overcast tries to kill me
It's your slow motion rain
that falls warm on my neck that keep me alive

Brash and hopeful
That my luck won't perish tonight
And when the overcast tries to kill me
It's your slow motion rain
that falls warm on my neck that keep me alive

Brash and hopeful
That my luck will not perish tonight
And when the overcast tries to kill me
It's your slow motion rain
that falls warm on my neck that keep me alive

Consider this song a testament
of my devotion to your sacharrine scent
And to be completely honest
you're not like all the rest
You're not like all the rest

Consider this song a testament
of my devotion to your sacharrine scent
And to be completely honest
you're not like all the rest
You're not like all the rest
Oh no, you're not like all the rest
You're not like all the rest
You're not like all the rest



All Hail the Heartbreaker

I had the notion that you'd make me change my ways
My bad habits would be gone in a matter of days
I had the feeling that you'd open up my eyes
To a whole new world that had since been in disguise

But that day will most likely never come for me
And it's just my luck to end up getting stuck
to everything you are

So tonight I'll sit and pick apart your pictures
And overanalyze your words
But the truth is that I've never fallen so hard
It's taking everything in me
just to forget your sweater so far

I had the notion that you'd make me forget the world
But your undecisive mind shows me that
you are "just another girl"
I had the feeling that those looks you gave me were real
What if I ripped your heart apart at the seams
maybe then you'd know how I feel

But that day will most likely never come for me
And it's just my luck to end up getting stuck
to everything you are

So tonight I'll sit and pick apart your pictures
And overanalyze your words
But the truth is that I've never fallen so hard
It's taking everything in me
just to forget your sweater so far

I can honestly say
that I never, ever, ever felt this way
Your lips, your eyelashes, your skin
These are the parts of your body
that cause my comatose to begin

I can honestly say
that I never, ever, ever felt this way
Your lips, your eyelashes, your skin
These are the parts of your body
that cause my comatose to begin

I will sleep another day
I don't really need to anyway
What's the point when my dreams are infected
with words you used to say
I will breathe in a moment
As long as I keep my distance
I wouldn't want to go messing anything up

So don't go worrying about me
It's not like I think about you constantly
So maybe I do, but that shouldn't affect
your life anymore
I knew it the moment you walked into the door

So don't go worrying about me
It's not like I think about you constantly
So maybe I do, but that shouldn't affect
your life anymore
I knew it the moment you walked into the door

I'll let you get the best of me
Because there's nothing else that I do well
I'll let you get the best of me
Because there's nothing else that I do well
I'll be the giver and you'll be the taker
I guess that's how this one's gonna go I'll be the giver and you'll be the taker
You've got me down on my knees and I proclaim
"All hail the heartbreaker"




"Could somebody show me the kind of that you only see in the movies, you know what I mean"


just a bunch of the spill canvas lyrics because i'm so obsessed now.

this is a lesson in procrastination, i kill myself because i'm so frustrated

everyone has been tired at one time or another, not tired like sleepy. but tired like mentally & emotionally. i'm tired. i'm tired of routine, i'm tired of waiting for things to change, & if your reading this, its not just about you. ( you know who you are ) i just need a change in pace, maybe that will happen when school ends. i live for the day when i get out. i need a break from everything, i'm so sick of school.

i'm also losing hope, but hope can get you in trouble. because if you have hope in someone or for something, & it fails then your disappointed. & then theres false hope, hope that wasn't there to begin with, where you had no chance but you convince yourself that it will come true, or happen. then its just pointless to have hope for anything. the only thing hope gets you is dissapointment & sadness. but, there is the rare occasions where what you hope for prevails. i don't bother with hope from here on out. fuck hope!

faith.......now faith is different, but not really. there is no false faith, cause faith is something you should always have in yourself. faith isn't as dangerous. if you say for example that you have faith in someone to make you proud. thats still not the same as hope. because even if that person doesn't make you proud, thats alright because its not you, you still have yourself, & hopefully you can do what will make yourself proud. because your the only person that knows exactly what you want. & if we are determinted enough then faith in yourself will help you achieve whatever it is.

then sometimes we don't know what we want, & that leads me back to my point. theres so many questions, that can't be answered. some never will be answered, & some can be answered, but answered too late. if you had known what you know now, you never would of done the things you had done, that even at the time you didn't know was a mistake, that you would regret it. that there was a better way to do it, or not do it at all. but we can't read the future. thats life tho i guess, we all have to learn for ourselves, & answer our own questions. some people have help. i don't have help anymore. it's gone. it's been gone since last year. the only person that i would trust enough to even ask for help & end up with the results that i wanted, you know learning the easy way, not the hard way: first hand, is gone. all i think is " what would she do, or tell me to do, or say? " but thats hard, because i wouldn't have to ask if i knew for sure would i?

i wish i could tell the future. even more tho, i wish i could rewind, & do it all over again differently, knowing what i know now. i know things would be different. it's like the butterfly effect, that movie was more than a movie for me, that was an awakening. but what if i ended up like him, when he goes back to make things better, it changes for the worst everytime no matter what he does. the lesson is you can't change the past. whats happened is happened & what is done is done. regrets & mistakes it doesn't matter. things happen for a reason. you have to take the good with the bad. & what i do know is true, & it will never prove me wrong is: everything bad that happens, something good comes out of it. it's proven itself time & again, maybe not always right away, but every choice you make, every movement, every breath of air you breathe leads to what is to come next. its all a design or a pattern what ever you wanna call it, doesn't matter, it is true.

the key, is time. which is taking forever in my case. i wanna give it time, see what happens. but things are taking a long time to change, or look up. i don't like drama, but even drama would be a change. it's just getting old, i've put up with it because i feel like its something i have to do, like if i don't i'll be letting people down. i've been waiting for someone else to change what needs to be changed. but it hasn't occured. it's looking more everyday like i'm gonna be the one who has to make the change, & the choice i make might be drastic, or it might not if i figure out another solution. but like the above said, it will alter everything, & potentially change my entire life.


every stupid melody to every stupid song, & every stupid word that everybodys hanging on. what difference does this difference in age make? i know how it ends, kill me quick.

failure by design..

today marks my 3rd day absent from school...why you may ask...because i was sick on friday, then i had to go to work at 3 & it was only a half day at school anyway...so i worked friday, then i worked saturday, i got home at like 12:30 in the morning where rian was waiting for me, our cable was still down, because the wire fell from the pole outside, & that happened friday night. anyway sunday morning me rian & my dad went out to go on the boat. my mission that day was to get a tan. well we were looking for a place to eat, but we went to geets & it was to crowded apparently so we went down the pike towards Dennys but there was a power failure because someone hit the pole or something, a lot of stores didn't have electric. so we finally came across this deli at about 11:15 & just got subs to eat them later on the boat. so we got to the boat & i whipped out the baby oil to help me tan better. all that day i didn't think i was getting sun so for four hours i kept putting on baby oil & i didn't change sides i just stayed on my front. so by the end of the day i started to turn red so i stopped & we went back to the tweeter center marina where my dad keeps his boat, it's pretty cool cause i can go there anytime & listen to the bands & what not & when warped tour comes around i won't have to wait in that horribly long line OR park miles away. so anyway, it was sore when we were driving to the movies, & my face wasn't red so i was . we got to the movies & we saw Troy, which by the way was an exceptionally AWESOME FUCKING MOVIE. so anyways we get out & my face is like sooo red, by the time we get home me & rian realize that we are soo burnt. so we put aloe on eachother, & i was cursing myself for doing it again cause last year i did the same thing, you SHOULD rotate 10 minutes on each side. then stop so see how red you are. but see i never stop to think about that when the time comes. so here i am fucking burnt, i've layed on my back for 2 days, & my back hurts soo bad. yesterday i would of been in less pain if i cut my legs off then skinned the rest of my body while i was still conscious. today i'm a little better, i'm moving around a little better, altho sometimes it burns really bad. you should have seen me get a shower yesterday, the water was like cold & it still felt hot on my body. on top of the sunburn, i have massive allergies & my nose is clogged all the time either that or won't stop leaking. i think it got worse because on the boat we went down the scukill & there was this really pretty place with a little damn which made a little waterfall & the buildings around it looked like the ones you would see in italy. well anyway there was all this pollen falling while we stopped there, i mean it was like raining pollen. i think that made it worse (SNEEZE) ugh anyway i told my dad to get my Zertec today, cause i haven't took it in a while cause i ran out & was too lazy to call it in to CVS. Hopefully this is my last day home cause i don't want to get too behind. i'm bot worried about any classes except for geomety & english, we're reading Julius Caesar i'm prolly behind in reading. but yeah i'm tired of sitting here so i'm gonna end this.

die young & save yourself...

ugh..my head hurts, my throat is sore & constricted, i think i'm getting sick...it was inevitable tho because i haven't taken Zyrtek in like weeks =\ omg....ugh, i have to go to work at 4, i just feel like dying.

last night i went out with my dad, we went to Peter's Diner, which is ok except i don't like their salads cause they had too many kinds of lettuce i didn't like it was like they went outside & picked the trees to make it. i told him i needed a bathing suit & it was the only way that i would go out on the boat, cause my dad is sooo fucking tan like its not even funny & it made me feel horrible cause i can't get any whiter. so i need to go out on the boat & get a tan. plus it is fun, when my dad doesn't decide to be wild & almost kill me by getting really really close to a navy ship & jumping the wakes which made me fly off my seat & crush my cooter! anyway...i got a bathing suit at Kohls its really cute so score :) i just don't know when i'll be able to go on the boat since i always have fucking work...*sigh* i hate work but i love the money...what is a girl to do? ugh time for some thing for this headache >:0