if i kissed your kneck...would you slit my throat?

uhmn...this sucks..my work called & told me that they needed me really bad on friday so i told them i would work, bad part is i can't hang out with kristen & laura :'( ugh, work owns my soul...but i really need money i wanna go summer shopping, not that my dad wouldn't give me like 500.00 but it's the fact that its my money. anyway speaking of my dad him & rian are outside doing yard work & mowing the lawn, rians only doin it cause he's paying him lol. *sigh* anyway..

Psych0 Ranger: gosh
Psych0 Ranger: friends is over!
Psych0 Ranger: you grew up with friends ya kno?
Psych0 Ranger: they were there for you
Psych0 Ranger: when the rain started to pour
Psych0 Ranger: when it hasnt been your day
Psych0 Ranger: your week
Psych0 Ranger: or even your year

steve, since you read my journal, you should have a place in this entry, even tho i'm sure you were making fun of me.

well this is a short entry, so buh bye.

i lie only for you...& i lie well...

take this to your grave...& i'll take it to mine..

I'm not one of those obsessed losers who think their life is at an end just because FRIENDS is over. I DO know everything about the show & have seen all the episodes, & it's the fact that I've grown up watching them, ever since I was in 6th grade I looked forward to every episode that came on, especially the new ones. & now it's over, no more new ones. It's my favorite show, it made me laugh & cry at the same time & I feel like I know them all. I just hope the FRIENDS spin off Joey is good & makes it. Joey is hilarious so I have faith that the show will do good.

But anyway I just had to say that because it's important to me & it's over so a small part of my life has changed & ended. But it seems like a lot of things are changing & ending in my life. So yeah, what else is new? I expect it to happen so I accept it & move on. I just watched my favorite movie again SLC Punk...I can't believe how many people have never even seen it, i mean it just makes you realize so many different things & it make you think, it gets you inside the characters : the punks/anarchists, mods, newwavers, hicks, posers...it's hilarious & makes a lot of sense. So anyone who hasn't seen it needs to. I mean it was an independent film so yeah not many people have seen it, but once you do you love it & you can't help but love it. It's all thanks to my wonderfully awesome side-dish Kristen that I seen it ;)

Speaking of Kristen, her & Laura are abducting me on friday, & i'm sleeping over on friday then going home before i have to go to gay work that deprives me of a life on the weekends, but i can't quit because i make too much money & i need money because i feel so good when i have my OWN money to spend for my things. I saved over 300.00 already for a video camera & it only took like 2 weeks, plus i just got a raise to 90.00 a night. But yeah then saturday when i get home i get to spend the night with my lovely boyfriend for the first time in a while cause i've been so busy. i kinda think that he doesn't like it when i spend any time with my friends at all, i don't quite get it yet, i just sense it every time he calls when i'm with them he sounds sad almost like hes upset that i'm with them & trying to make me feel guilty, even if i'm with all girls.

but anyways, i'm gonna end this now so i'll write more later.

"only posers die you fucking idiot!"-stevo

holding on forever to these dreams we made together, i'm never gonna let them die, i couldn't bare the sight...
why do things always have to change? just when you think you've found who your real friends are. i guess people grow up & grow apart.

i miss hanging out with the guys, but now they are busy with girlfriends, & one specifically busy with a girlfriend & his weed...ugh. i never thought he would become a pot head, he was the one that always said he'd never do it. now i never see him & barely talk to him, but everyone knows he's a pot head.

that leaves the other 2 who i still talk to thankfully & who i need to hang out with soon, because i miss that. i feel like i have a different group of friends every year who i think are always gonna stay but they always change...but that doesn't matter..i have my CMA <3 & i have alex & mike, & the lunch table gang lol, & i have other people who aren't from williamstown, cause williamstown people are getting old & gay.

school is over in like 20 something days, i'll be a jr. & one yr closer to getting the fuck outta high school, & that is something i'm definately looking forward to. but next year isn't going to be easy like this year...i mean i'm not even bringing anything home, i barely ever have homework & my teachers are soo easy. i'm spoiled & jr yr is the hardest, & i'm not going to be used to it. i'll actually have to try. i'm passing all my classes with a 90 & above...thats like awesome.

i'm so lost
i'm barely here
i wish i could explain myself
but words escape me.
youre too late
to save me
youre too late

where do we go...lifes temporary...
after we're gone?

loves no stroy book, loves an excuse to get hurt...
Sometimes i can have the worst moments. like when i mailed the $2 to Andy to be able to keep this journal....& i put his adress in the return adress space so i basically mailed it to myself. yeah i thought that was funny you can tell i was really not thinking when i did that. as i'm sitting here waiting for rian to get home from work with his brother for the day, i'm reading my aim logs with people they are quite funny, especially the ones in which loser ex boyfriends grovel at my feet, god i love the power to step on them mwuaahha. hrm, i had a lot of fun this past weekend, lets see...

friday - went to the show with rian to see solen, when these days end, a sense of belonging, heartbled ending & uh before i burn. there was also this irish band with a bag pipe player in a kilt rian just loved that. we chatted with some of my idiot friends who i love tho. then we went home rian left then i went to bed cause i had to get up for work.

saturday- went to work, it was pretty gay like 250 people there it was a big reception, and the people were assholes. took a shot of peach snops which was like fucking awesome & when rian turns 21 i'm definately keeping a bottle of that shit at his house. got home at like 10 got a shower then rian came over, i was too tired & too sore to go out so i fell asleep.

sunday- me & rian went to pick up chris & ashley<3 & rian wore my clothes, yeah he wanted to make chris feel happy, & maybe turn him on. i dunno all's i know is one day chris & rian are gonna leave me & ashley to run away together i swear they are gay sometimes. lol. we'll see when sam gets her pix developed. anyways we go back to sams & we chill there & sam makes us hot dogs & hamburgers then kevin & stephy arrive & we're all on the trampoline & rian & chris are humping eachother as usual & anyway we stay out there then go in & we act like retards with the karyoke machine then we play hide & seek in the dark. well since it was in the dark there was a clothes line tied between two trees at about throat & eye level that you cannot see. but of course chris literally runs into it & falls backwards on his back, while me & everyone else are laughing histerically he was cut under his eye. so he had ice the rest of the night. it was funny but i felt bad for him. after that i took chris & ash home around 10 then i got back at 11 & went to sleep or at least tried.
my alarm clock never went off so i stayed home monday, score.

i have lots of plans coming up with the people whom in which i love. its a weekend with kristen & laura which will be "wicked cool" oh yeah we are definately watching hold me thrill me kiss me, that movie is too kinky not to want to see....then of course more time with my sammie lynn & ri-ri. & god damnit we will go to the shore one day. maybe when kristen gets her license which shouldn't be much longer yay. plus summer & warmer weather equal more fun ! ( i want smileys on this thing damnit )

well anyways theres this band i'm listening to now, The Beautiful Mistake, they are rocking my panties ;)

My Wicked Cute Poem ;)
yeah so uh, i had this assignment in english to write a narritive poem blah blah blah, & well i liked how mine turned out..it's about the first night me & rian met...

A Night Under the Stars

“The look in your eyes,
sparkle like the stars in the sky.
Everything about you drives me crazy,
I can’t even think straight it’s all hazy.”

As she was absorbing everything he said,
the stars like her eyes shimmered overhead.
He touched her cheek and brushed away her hair,
she was entangled in his intimate stare.

It was as if their hearts had collided together,
they wished this moment would last forever.
The emotions inside her body were rushing,
the love that was trapped in her heart was now gushing.

With every word her heart increased in beats,
with every caressing touch she felt her knees get weak.
Around them were the sounds of a summer night,
unheard by ears was the sound of two hearts take flight.

“I already care about you so much,
it’s the feeling I get and it comes from your touch.
I promise I will never cause you pain,
and I will always be here, snow, sun or rain.”


oh uh, don't steal it, because i'll fucking kill you, have a nice day :)

school tomorrow :'(
hmm, i really have no desire to go back to school, in fact this break has been great & i don't want it to end :( So yesterday was Easter, it was alright me & rian & my dad went to my cousins house there was a lot of food which was really good & there was a lot of my family...but the only thing that ruined it was when my cousin Michelle took me into Kayla's room & told me about when her my dad & her mom went out on the boat & they thought she was sleeping, she heard them talking about me & rian. they said that they don't like that he doesn't have a job & that they were happy when i broke up with him & they didn't like when we got back together....they said that I'm gonna grow up & make all the money, & that they hope i learn soon. rah that makes me so mad to even think about, because they don't even have the guts to say it to my face they have to sit there & act like they like us. the rest of my family tells me if they like the fact that we're together or not, but i really don't care what they think, they aren't as close or as important to me as my father & godmother are, but whatever, i DO plan on comfronting them the time will come again when its just the 3 of us & i'll be the one whos not afraid to say something. But anyway...whatever they say is no news to me i'm not as stupid as they think & i have thought about those things, but i also know the reasons why rian doesn't have a job, which are completely understandable & those reasons are unknown to them so therefore they shouldn't speak without all the facts. i'll worry about my own life, they already fucked up thiers by making their own decision which were bad ones, but i have one thing going for me i may be young but i'm not stupid like they were nor am i going to get married right out of highschool, & i know what i'm doing with my life, that will make good money & will be something i like, not someone who works in a supermarket stocking shelves or someone who is a maintenence man for apartment complexes. yeah i will go to college, & i won't drop out. i know what i have to do to survive in this world & i'll do it no matter what. so let them think i'm a fuck up like they were & still are becuase they are suffering the consequenses of their stupid decisions everday of their lives, & that is enough for me to look at & say thats never gonna be me.

Spring Break
well...it's spring break currently but i only have 2 days left after today :'( but anyway...

tuesday - rian came over we went out..but i have a bad memory & i can't remember where? lol uh i know we stopped by my work to see if i was working saturday which i'm not so that made me happy..then we went to sleep

wednesday - i got up at like 11 & got in the shower then so did rian at around 2:00 we left to go to my aunts house, of course we were going to go to applebees but my stupid cousin didn't come home right after school again & we had to look for her...so we ended up going across the street from Headlights at this pizza place to eat lunch. then me my aunt michelle & rian went to my appointment to get my tattoo for my mom :) it took like 2 hours & it fucking hurt like a bitch it was PAIN. i tore up rians arm by squeezing twisting & biting it. i suggest that unless you can handle the pain don't get a big tattoo on your lower back. so after that we went to my cousin Anns sat there for like a half hour then we drove back to my aunts then me & rian went home & he left later that night after he helped me clean up my tattoo & put vasoline on.

thursday - i woke up with shit all over my sheets from my tattoo :x but its okay it's only the smurfs. i got a shower then got packed to go to kristens for girls night a.k.a CMA night. i drove to kristens since rian couldn't take me becuase it was raining. i got there without getting lost & i was proud of myself. so we watched like maybe 40 minutes of dream for an insomniac then like skipped to the end. after that we walked to get movies we got like 8 then to wawa for ciggs for kristen. we got home & we watched the slums of beverly hills in the kitchen while we ate the mcdonalds that poppy got us. it was funny he ordered 3 20 piece chicken nuggets & all these sauces with it 0:) then we went in the living room & watched momento then we went back downstairs & watched gothika which i've seen before but still scared the shit outta me so there was like the 5 of us on one couch & sam kristens sister was on the chair & wasn't scared the whole movie so i felt like a bitch lol. but it was fun then we put in house of the dead while eating like all the candy they bought earlier & the day before & then turned it off like 10 minutes into it because it was soo fucking horrible. then we watched May....which was the most fucked up movie i've ever watched...no wonder kristen loves it so much. that this was funny too me & laura were like in hysterics. but we'd both decided it wasn't a movie we wanted to see again, it was too wierd & fucked up lol. then we put in Cecil B. Demented but i fell asleep then woke up at the end & went upstairs with everyone but sam was sleeping on the chair & didn't wake up so she got left down there.

(good) friday - yeah so me sam & laura woke up at like 10 & laura got a shower & me & sam went upstairs on the computer we came downstairs as laura was getting out & we ate breakfast then sat & talked for like 45 minutes then we watched Kids downstairs..thats the greatest movie, but scary reality wise. then we went outside & jumped on the trampoline & then we decided to walk to the park & we did & we swang on the swings then we were gonna go to the other park but me & sam said that we were cold & sam needed different shoes so in an attempt to get to kristens faster me & laura decided to cut thru peoples yards, but in the process we got lost becuase we forgot that there was a street between the park & kristens street so i think our short cut went to shit. we got back & kristen & stephy were up so then after they cleaned & played basketball we decided to walk to wawa but rian got lost & went north instead of south so he wasn't coming to get me anymore so then stephy said that kevin was supposed to come anyways to take everyone home & sam had to be home before 6 anyway. but we got back from wawa & kevin called & there was a mess & then laura had to tear down kevins confidence that he suddenly has now & then we all got home yay. when i got home rian was there sleeping on the couch i woke him up then got in the shower then packed again to go to his house for the night. because we were gonna rent movies then just chill at his house. on our way there rians mom called and said that don was making dinner & kim was there...now for those who don't know i hate kim shes a slut & she flirts with my boyfriend, whether she still does it i don't know but i know for damn sure she did at don & lees reception because i know what i saw & i know what the fuck flirting is i wasn't born yesterday i'm a girl too & i know how to flirt & she was fucking flirting....ah, so anyway rian tells me & i get all mad that whores gonna be there & so i change my mind & tell him i wanna go to the movies to see the whole ten yards because i don't wanna be there with that slut. so i asked rian since like the last time i went to his house she was there again too with her boyfriend who she thinks is gay apparently because i said to rian you look gay because he crossed his legs & she says "oh is kenny here?" & kenny is her boyfriend. so i asked rian if she has ever been there when i wasn't there. & he said yeah once or twice before. & that makes me mad cause i know that she would flirt with rian & him flirt back just because hes stupid & doesn't know he's flirting. but yeah we got there she was a slut like always & me & rian couldn't go to the movies till 10:40 cuase that was the next showing & it was only like 9 by the time everyone finished eating. so i sat on the chair..but it fits two people. & rian was on his couch & don & lee sat on the other one & fucking slut sits next to rian, & so i lean back & wait for rian to move & come sit next to me & see how long it took him & lucky for him he got up & sat next to me. so the after her stupid comment about i guess how she turned her boyfriend gay we went to the movies & saw the whole ten yards & it was definately really fucking funny. then we got back & good thing the slut was gone cause i really didn't wanna see her anymore. so i fell asleep right away as soon as i hit the pillow & rian finished watching uhm Kill Bill.

saturday - i woke up at like 12 at rians & i woke him up too cause he had to take him mom to her moms house later that day & i didn't want him sleeping in too late. so we got up & talked to him mom for a while then he went to the store then he came back then we left & now i'm here typing this yay. & tomorrow i hope to go see my mom at the cemetary before i go to my cousin anns for easter. & right now my tattoo is iching RAWR ...must..not...scratch... ahhhhhh!

ok i need to get my mind off of the ichiness so uh, i have pics i need to get developed from getting my tattoo & CMA night, CMA night there isn't that much cause uh we were too busy having our orgy to take any lol . well i'm going i'll write later

summer needs to come
well today was a good day over all, i went to the mall to get warped tour tickets but stood in line behind these fucking crack heads who kept talking to us then the lady whos like in her late 40s asks me if that's my boyfriend...& i'm like WHOA thats my dad! yeah they were FUCKED up. scary people in this world man. but yeah i'm hoping that stephy & kevin can come with me & rian...& well anyone else who wants to join is welcome :) but anyway i get my check this week i'm so happy i got like $160 for 2 nights of work...i make the money my friends make at their minimum wage paying job in 2 nights that they work for in like 5 working days. & i'll be getting a raise soon :-D but yeah the money from this weeks check is going towards the tattoo i wanna get for my mom. i'm not sure exactly what it will be something meaningful for her maybe i'll get something like Mommy & LoveBug i dunno yet i don't know exactly where i wanna put it either....i'll think of something soon...well i'm gonna get off to bed i'll write later <3

WEEEEEE!
wow hyper? yes very. strawberry milk rocks? most definately does. good fucking weekend? hell fucking yeah. i went to work & there was this pretty hott drunk guy who wouldn't leave & kept asking for whip cream so that he could do whippets LMFAO then he touched the no smoking sign & it fell off the wall, he was tap dancing to...we were beginning to wonder if he needed medication. But after work i went to sammie lynns house<3 & rian was already there cause i didn't get off work till like 10 something then i went home & took a shower then my dad let me drive across the lake to sammie lynns by myself, i felt cool. then i hung out with sammie stephy kevin & rian & we took pictures outside on the street & they got outta hand but it was all fun & peachy. Me & Ri went to walgreens & got the pix developed, & you can view them on www.picturetrail.com/reverdevousx alright i'm out peace peace chicken grease!!!

quizzes again?

You have an entrancing kiss~ the kind that leaves
your partner bedazzled and maybe even feeling
he/she is dreaming. Quite effective; the kiss
that never lessens and always blows your
partner away like the first time.


What kind of kiss are you?
brought to you by Quizilla



Nemesis


?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
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You are going to Marry Josh Hartnett. He is really
shy, but don't let that fool you. He is really
outgoing and sweet with those he loves and will
be loyal to them for the rest of his life.
Congrats!!


Which male celebrity are you going to marry? (now 12 (i just added more, and still more to come!)results that have pics!)
brought to you by Quizilla

need something to do
hmm...i need to find something to do tonight. i asked jeanna to hang out but that would be too much to ask of her since she's never apart from sean, it makes me sick...its like him & bible study is her whole life. but whatever i won't ask her anymore to hang out...because i don't even talk to her anymore really...& soon she'll just be another aquaintence to me. but anyway..i'm gonna go talk to people & see whats up bye.

school
hi, i'm in school...sitting next to jessie :) i'm bored but soon i wil be home...then i'll still be bored....maybe rian will come over? or i'll get a life? bye bye now 9th pd is almost over.

last but DEFINATELY not least...answers to the fill in the blank
Please read this, it is quite amusing & funny thanks to Steve, who is a good friend of mine & wierd at times....as you will see....

I lessthan thirty three Bridget.
Bridget is fire.
if I were alone in a room with Bridget, I would fart, then blame it on her.
I think Bridget should just accept it that she was the one who farted
Bridget needs air.
Bridget will never die.
I want to blame for farting :Bridget.
Bridget can cook my spaghetti.
when I think about Bridget, I breathe.
Someday Bridget will meet me.
Bridget reminds me of DEATH.
Without Bridget there would be no bridget.
Memories of Bridget are kool.
Bridget can be eeevil
describableis how I describe meeting Bridget.
Worst thing about Bridget is new jersey.
Best thing about Bridget is bridget.
Bridget so totally farted.
If Bridget was a flavor of ice cream she would be bridget-chocolate chip.
Bridget is my koolest friend.
I wish Bridget would stop blaming me for farting.

quizzilla

You have a beautiful soul! These are rare and very
special. One who has a beautiful soul had
beauty inside and out, and are always very
kind. You may be the one who always applies
make-up to look better and achieve certain
standards, but you look just as gorgeous
without makeup. You take pride in yourself
because you know that you are worth better.
Sometimes you preen in front of the mirror for
hours, but youre never too busy to help
someone. Everyone loves you and you love them
back, with a lot of friends, and popularity.
But you didnt get it because of your clothes-
you got it because there seems to be a radiance
around you, a sort of glow, that attracts
people to do better and be better.


What Kind of SOUL do you posses? (For Girls only) Incredible Anime Pictures!
brought to you by Quizilla


Your a magical unicorn! As all unicorns go, magic
unicorns are amazing with enchantments and can
perform spells and all kind of crafts. Magic
Unicorns have horns that if drank from can cure
blindness, and give immortality. All magical
unicorns are very kind and heart-warming, but
can get tempermental if a spell goes wrong.
Magical Unicorns live in forests where they can
practise all there magic in secret. But, if a
human befreinds a magical unicorn, they have a
friend for life.


What kind of Unicorn are you? (With beautiful pictures)
brought to you by Quizilla

answers to the fill in the blank
These are the answers i got back when I asked them to fill in the blanks:

Fill In The Blanks by: Rian (my lover)

I love Bridget.
Bridget is my baby.
if I were alone in a room with Bridget, I would cuddle & sex her up;-).
I think Bridget should model
Bridget needs the best.
Bridget will never lie or cheat.
I want to spend the rest of my life with Bridget.
Bridget can suck my wang;-) Just playin.
when I think about Bridget, I Smile.
Someday Bridget will marry me:-D.
Bridget reminds me of a a sex godess.
Without Bridget I would die.
Memories of Bridget are unforgetable.
Bridget can be moody but everyone gets moody.
WONDERFUCKINFULL is how I describe meeting Bridget.
Worst thing about Bridget is nothing.
Best thing about Bridget is everything.
Bridget is my life.
I wish Bridget would stay with me forever.

Fill In the Blanks by: Sammi Lynn

I want to molest Bridget.
Bridget is SECKZIFUL.
if I were alone in a room with Bridget, I would rape her ;-).
I think Bridget should stay with rian forever 8-)
Bridget needs nothing?.
Bridget will never die.
Bridget will never die.
I want to sex up Bridget.
Bridget can lick my toe?.
when I think about Bridget, I cream.
Someday Bridget will marry rian.
Bridget reminds me of bridget lol.
Without Bridget i'd die.
Memories of Bridget are FUCKING AWSOME.
Bridget can be a bitch..but who cant lol .
Odd is how I describe meeting Bridget.
Worst thing about Bridget is nothing.
Best thing about Bridget is everything.
Bridget is my _BESTEREST FRIEND.
I wish Bridget would BE HAPPY 4EVER 8-).

Fill in the blanks by: Dom

I love Bridget.
Bridget is hot?
if I were alone in a room with Bridget, I would fuck her.
I think Bridget should suck my dick
Bridget needs to put out more.
Bridget will never fuck ne one else.
I want to fuck Bridget.
Bridget can suck my dick.
when I think about Bridget, I masterbate.
Someday Bridget will give out to me.
Bridget reminds me of a porno star.
Without Bridget i would be limp all the time.
Memories of Bridget are WILD.
Bridget can be a freak.
sex is how I describe meeting Bridget.
Worst thing about Bridget is she has a bf.
Best thing about Bridget is she wants to fuck me.
Bridget will fuck me.
If Bridget was a flavor of ice cream she would be choclate chip.
Bridget is my dream girl.
I wish Bridget would fuck me for 3 days str8.
HAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

NOTE: Please excuse Dom, thats how he is an asshole like that :-P