crimzonregret
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::
2004 17 May :: 8.28am
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: In 1st pd
Beaten Battered Torn Broken
Woot 4 Days Until my birthday and I get to see my Stephy Leigh!!! Woo Hoo!!!!
*jumps up and down* I miss my Stephy I haven't seen her since spring break!..I get to see Kiss10 too!! WOOOOOO HOOOOOOO 5 Days until my el party-o *smiles* Woot I get to see people... SCORE..ok I'm just a little to excited..Time to calm down now...
hooollllleerrrrrrrrrrr
<3 Sam
her blood runs hot..
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crimzonregret
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2004 14 May :: 5.57pm
:: Mood: Beaten
:: Music: Evanesence - M
Beaten and battered..it's no more than my own fault
Today is the schools junior/senior prom...A few people are going...but, we had a half day because of it. I woke up with a bad charliehorse in my calf, so after I rubbed it out I wen't back to sleep.. Woke up at 6:30 had only 20 minutes to get ready which is more than enough time for me, but, I knew it was going to be a horrible day when my pull-strings in my new sweatpants broke because I was pulling the pants tighter because they are too big. So I put a pair of jeans on, I couldn't find any socks...so I had to wear these high old ones...school went fine being that Bridget wasn't there for me to talk to (that made me sad), I hardly ever see Jess, Jeanna won't get a clue and Amanda doesn't count.... Then I came home and got changed and fell asleep on my favorite old soap opera.. Dallas... then my mom woke me up, and of course I was a little cranky.. so she layed down and went to sleep, I really didn't care, I just really couldn't get anything done until my dad came home. So like an hour before my dad came home I checked to see if the songs my mom was downloading were done, so I listened to them to see if they were good quality, and they were, so I logged her off and went on so I can download some songs and came out, sat and watched TV with the baby. My sister called, asking me all these things about what she needs for these cookies...I didn't know and I wasn't waking my mom up, and she was like what's mom doing, I told her sleeping, she asked what the baby was doing, I was feeding him, so she called again, my mom was still sleeping, she said I was whispering and I wasn't, so she assumed I was in the computer room..and I wasn't...I checked on my songs like as soon as my dad pulled up, and the baby was in here with me, nothing bad went on I wasn't even complaining about anything. I was kind of mad at mommy because she said that she wanted to lay down so she woke me up to watch the baby, but I got over it. It's like a routine now. My dad and I were talking and the baby was sitting on the table in his little chair thing, and I gave him some mint choco chip ice cream (heh he liked it) then he started getting really fussy and tired like so I gave him a bottle of juice, he started falling asleep, so I layed him down in the porto-crib, then I called my Aunt cause my dad told me to, talked to her and how she's coming to bring my mom her ring and blah blah blah..then I went downstairs to get the pizzelle iron thing...came back upstairs and checked the songs I had downloading...and added more to download...my aunt pulled up, so I came out. Made coffee, woke my mom up, and just chilled, then my sister comes in...screaming and yelling at me calling me a compulsive liar over shit I didn't say... here, I'll copy and paste what I said to stephy becuase it's too much to type..
"..I hope I never see my sister again all I want to see is my nephew..her..I don't care if she drops dead She's putting words in my mouth saying I'm a compulsive liar all because I told her my mom was sleeping and I didn't want to wake her up...so as she's calling me a compulsive liar she starts beating the shit out of me I have a bruise on my shoulder I think, she almost made my lip bleed she starts pulling my hair and smacking me in the head, and putting me in ways where I can't fight back, and of course if I hit her back I would have gotten in trouble so I just took it, and then she gets pissed off because for once (more like the 1st time) my dad actually took my side and not hers Than saying how I supposdly said that because all my mom does is sleep (which she doesn't) I complain because I can't do anything...how am I going to complain because I can't do anything when only Bridget lives in Williamstown and she's always busy? Why fight back? So my dad can beat the shit out of me later? Then I went to get the baby because he was crying and he just woke up, and she took him from me and wouldn't take his bottle so I slammed it on the table in front of her and walked away and she starts calling me a bitch? A little while ago when we were yelling at each other she said I do nothing but complain how my mom sleeps all the time and how from the time I come home until I have to get off-line I'm on the computer...and I'm not, I don't go on until maybe an hour or so after she gets here...my mom goes on during the day...I'm about to just put my foot through the computer"
I'm off like a prom dress...
<33 Sam
her blood runs hot..
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crimzonregret
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2004 22 April :: 11.10pm
:: Mood: depressed
:: Music:
From Spring Break to today?
sunday
I was supposed to go to Stephy's birthday party thing with kristen and kevin. But, my mom and dad decided to be assholes and they came here afterwards!We just hung out for a while. Then before they left, kristen and Stephy asked my parents about letting me go to Kristen's house from wednesday until friday...sruprisingly...it worked! I think we were all shocked..then they left and I went to bed.
Monday and Tuesday I had school for some gay ass reason....
wednesday
STEPHANIE LEIGH'S BIRTHDAY!! Kevin came to pick up Stephy's ultimate birthday present up... ME! Me and Kevin had some time to bond in the van, I think I scared him because I was amused by a cow and a horsie. We got to kristen's at about quarter to 3? I woke up Stephy and Kristen then Kevin made Stephy get ready to go. So me and Kristen had bonding time..Then Kristen forced Kevin to pick up Laura! So me and Kristen decided to met Loser and Steph at the park....and they weren't there... they passed us and came back to get us, Kristen made me get off the corner.. it was funny. Then we picked up kenny. Stephy and Kristen were nice and let Kenny sit up front with Kevin. (It was the make bonding thing..) Steph Kristen and I sat all the way in the back, they were throwing candy down my shirt and we were all messing around and stuff.. Kevin and Kenny decided that they wanted to be complete assholes. Which caused a lot of hostility in the van and kevin yelled at Stephy and Kristen!!! He also treated me like a 5 year old... told me to turn around and put my seatbelt on!!! Besides that little drama session, we met Laura and Jordan at La Martinique in lindenwold, Stephy had soooooo much sugat, like 6 packets of sweetarts in 2 seconds. When we stopped, she got out of the car and started running around and everyone else ran around with her, or skipped around, pretty much acting like 7 year olds, it was fun! Finally, Laura and Jordan got there. We all went inside to pee. Then laura and kenny came out first, and. . they went into Kevin's van... and I think you can put 2 and 2 together...? Anyway, Stephy Kristen and me walked to 7-11 since there wasn't a wawa in walking distance. (decided to let Jordan and Kevin have time alone *wink*) When Kenny and Laura were finished doing their deed...Kevin, Laura, Kenny and Jordan met up with us at 7-11...I will never stand outside a 7-11 without almost crying again...Jordan definatly owned my ass, he left a friggin' hand print, it hurt like whoa! Then Jordan went home and we went to Kristen's... Laura, Stephy, Kristen and me all stayed up late. Wawa run (as Kristen likes to call the 4 of us now.. the 4 Wawa sluts) and finally fell asleep in the living room.
thursday
ALL GIRLS NIGHT! HOL-EFFING-ER! Laura, Stephy and me woke up at like 11, made breakfast (peanut butter pancakes and eggs),ate. Kristen got up, ate ice cream for breakfast. We cleaned up, Bridget came over, we pretty much just hung out at Kristen's. Started to watch uh...Dreams for an Insomniac (I think that's what it was called) but skipped most of the movie to the end, then we went to get movies,we got 8.. started watching them at like 6... poppy went to McDonalds for us. We watched slums of beverly hills in the kitchen first.. which completely sucked... Then momento in the living room, then downstairs to watch gothika......FREAKING GREAT movie! Me, Stephy, Kristen, Laura and Bridget were all squished on Kristen's couch, her sister sat there like it was nothing! Then we started to watch house of the dead but like 15 minutes in, we turned it off because it sucked, then we turned on may, WOW what an awsome movie... Then cecil b demented (I fell asleep on that) then they went to bed and left me there, but all in all... fun girls night!
friday
We didn't really do anything, Steph and Kristen slept until 2, Laura Bridget and Me got up at like 10 watched Kids...jumped on the trampoline...walked to the playground..got lost on the way back to Kristen's. Stephy and Kristen cleaned up downstairs and went to play basketball.. then we all went to wawa. Came back and just chilled. Kevin called saying his work schedule got fucked up for that day, a lot of hostility...But everything turned out ok in the end....
saturday
Didn't exactly do anything during the day. That night I hung out with Erica Warren Rian and Bridget, Warren and Erica bought me a snapple *smiley* I felt special! We just hung out, talked, dyed Easter Eggs lol, they didn't leave until quarter to 3 maybe -lol- fun night..
sunday (easter)
Family...
did nothing the rest of the week... i dont remember what i did that week...but
Sunday 4*18
Ashee Chris Rian and Bridget and Stephy and Kevin came over, we chilled sang Karoke...played hide n go seek Chris fucked up his eye...but its all ok in the end..we are doing that againn lol
im outtie
<33 Sammie
1 but her heart beats cold.. |
her blood runs hot..
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crimzonregret
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2004 28 March :: 12.47am
:: Mood: disappointed
:: Music: none
I had the greatest day...
Today, had to have been the
greatest day (except kristen
wasn't a part of it :-(( ) But,
besides that flaw.. nothing to
make my day wrong... I woke
up.. after spending the night
at my sisters, took care of my
nephew for a little while..than
she took me to get my hair cut
it looks good i think...so after
my hair cut I came home, sat
on the computer cleaned my
room and all that fun stuff, than
I cooked dinner.. it came out
great!! So after a little while..and
a small directional problem.. Kevin
and Stephy came *yay* I gave
her a couple early birthday presents
then we ate dinner,
laughed..
talked...
than went to the elementary school
to play on the playground..it was
so0o much fun :-) we came back
rian came over, then bridget and we
all hung out...then everyone left
and now I'm sad.. Today, was so
much fun.... but now im off to bed..
night y'all
<33 Sammi
her blood runs hot..
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crimzonregret
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2004 25 March :: 8.26am
:: Mood: flirty
:: Music: In school like usual!
Yep, grounded for a month off the net, so i stole this survey from bridgets journal hehe... so put the results in a comment!!!
Fill In The Blanks
I ____ Sam.
Sam is ____.
if I were alone in a room with Sam, I would ____.
I think Sam should _____
Sam needs ____.
Sam will never ____.
I want to _____ Sam.
Sam can ____ my _____.
when I think about Sam, I ____.
Someday Sam will _____.
Sam reminds me of _____.
Without Sam ____.
Memories of Sam are ____.
Sam can be ____.
____ is how I describe meeting Sam.
Worst thing about Sam is ____.
Best thing about Sam is _____.
Sam _____.
If Sam was a flavor of ice cream she would be _____.
Sam is my _____.
I wish Sam would _____.
4 but her heart beats cold.. |
her blood runs hot..
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crimzonregret
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::
2004 16 March :: 6.31pm
:: Music: nothing
continued
than after we ate dinner kevin and kristen came over... www.picturetrail.com/manfalovesyou ...3*13*04 enough said :-)
I LOVE MY FRIENDS <33333333333333333333
Sammie
her blood runs hot..
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crimzonregret
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2004 16 March :: 8.28am
:: Mood: crappy
:: Music:
My weekend was the best!
Friday night I went to my Phy-phy's
house :-) YAY! After like 5 minutes of
being there, logged on the internet
then went to the mall...Sammi's 1st
time at the Cherry Hill Mall :-) *SCORE*
I met all her peoples...well not all of
them just a few.. They all seem really
cool...(for being stoners lol)...then her
dad picked me her and her little brother
JR up.. We went back to her house and
just chilled there for a little bit, watched
Pirates of the Caribbean...then I kind of
forget what we did then -lol- Steph's mom
and brother went to bed, it was about
midnight when we made breakfast :-)
Eggs, toast and Home fries..it was pretty
good! Before we cooked it we took a late
run to 7-11...got milk bread and other stuff.
Than we fell asleep after that...(we talked to
Loser during cooking time and he said we needed a fire extunguser!) Than Saturday
I woke up at like 8 watched The Sweetest
Thing, and then tried to wake Stephy up to
watch Nemo with me..but she was too tired
so after Nemo JR and I jumped on Stephy, I
molestered her with the Hulk :-! heheh..we
just hung out...then after dinner...well I'll have to tell the rest later because bell is going to ring in a few minutes which isn't enough time to tell you the rest of the weekend! So, BYE!!
<333 Sammie
2 but her heart beats cold.. |
her blood runs hot..
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crimzonregret
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2004 5 March :: 8.12am
:: Mood: crappy
:: Music:
i got bored in soft. apps since im done
Hmm..I'm in school, and I finished all my work in 1st period so I figured I would write in here since I rarely do.. but, joy I get to go to my brother in laws 27th birthday party...it's scooby doo and dale earnhardt (number 8) themed...that's so stupid..but, my brother in law is like a big kid..he's a loser though lol...Saturday, hopefully I can hang out with Ashley Meisle....hopefully unday I can hang out with Ashley Astor too...But, I love them both, and I hate the fact that Ashley A hates Ashley M because of Mike..ok here's the new names for the Ashleys when I talk about them in here...Ashley Astor is Hun and Ashley Meisle will be Ash lol I couldn't think of anything. But anyway...like I was saying that kind of bugs me the fact that I have friends who dispise eachother....see but, if Mike (I'm cool with him 2) trashes on Ash, than I'll sit there and trash on Christine and Jess...gurr they are sluts...but, anyway off of talking about Christine and Jess I'll get to them later.. Mike and Ash and Hun are all cool with me..Mike and Hun can't exactly hate each other because they are brother and sister, but, they don't have to double team ash..I'm not giong to get into it, because of the fact that when I say something I always get in trouble for it...so yeah, I'll stop talking about that because of I don't want to be hated next, because I'm not taking anysides....But, NEXT WEEKEND IS GOING TO BE FREAKING AWSOME!!! I get to see my Stephy Leigh!!! Yay!!!!!!! I miss her...She's so much fun to be around, and I'm psyched to chill with her again... Hopefully everything goes right this time...and not so much drama happening with rides and such.....of all the people I met from SJC... I miss.....Kiss10, Stephy, Laura, Kevin, Warren, and Hun...that's it wow..and I met like 15 people from there?! Wow...I feel like a total brat now...O.k I typed alot ...well I think I did, so I'm going to go and when I go home, if I can get online I will talk about Jess and Christine :-)
<3333 Sammi
1 but her heart beats cold.. |
her blood runs hot..
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crimzonregret
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2004 1 March :: 6.50pm
:: Mood: irritated
:: Music:
Hmm..I haven't written in
a few days..or a week hm
something like that...but
yeah besides stupid high
school drama my life is
still pretty sucky and a lil
boring but thats besides
the point...Tuesday Kristen
Laura and Jordan decided
to spontaneously come and
visit me :-) yay! don't hate
because they love me...
but yeah then before they
left Laura invited me to
Kristen's that friday for Kenny's
21st kid themed birthday :-)
So than friday rolled around and
I was joined by my love Bridget
and her boyfriend whom in which
i love oh so much Rian :-) we all
hung out..I got forced in the hot
tub I was embarassed because
of yeah Im body concious :-(
But, I had fun :-) I told Bridget
my secret and I guess the way
I was talking it was obvious to
Rian and he was making fun of
me, they were making me blush..
But, yeah..than I didn't do anything
else the rest of the weekend...
Tuesday to Thursday is the S-test
and of course...I get my period >:O
Then this weekend I am going to my
brother in laws surprise birthday
party...and then the weekend after
I'm going to my love Stephanie Leigh
States house for the weekend :-)
Ok I'm done now...
<33333 Sammi
2 but her heart beats cold.. |
her blood runs hot..
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crimzonregret
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2004 22 February :: 4.00pm
:: Mood: bored
:: Music:
Name: Samantha
What time is it: 4:46 p.m
THE FRUITS OF YOUR LABOR( things you can't live without): Clothes..and the computer
Something important on your desk: the computer lol im addicted to it
When you sleep you wear: shorts n a tee
If you could afford it at the moment, you would buy: an apartment building..just so all my ppl can move in with me
Something you don't have a lot of: uhm..i dunno
If your house was burning and you could only save 3 items what would they be: pictures, the computer 8-), and my movies
If there were no side effects, you would enjoy being addicted to: i dont know
A time when you purposly hurt someone emotionally: I never meant to hurt anyone purposly..
A time you accidentally hurt someone emotionally: :-\ alot
One person you have killed in your thoughts: hmm...where to start?
Three traits you look for in a friend: loyalty, trustworthy, dependable....easy to have fun with
Who makes you laugh most often: Kevin Steph and Kristen
A friend who you can tell anything: Kristen, Stephy, Kristen, and Bridget
A friend you can got to for advice: Kristen, Stephy, Kristen, and Bridget
The best piece of advice you had been given:So much has been given to me..i couldn't tell ya..
Two closest friends:if you mean distance wise..Bridget and Jeanna..if you mean friend wise..why have 2? I have 4
The friend who uses most of your energy: lmao Kristen and Steph
Your 3 best qualities: I listen alot, I always help my ppls out,
xLOVExDIESxHARDx: you're hott, funny & awesome>:o
I dunno about hott..lol
my sweet poisonX: you put up with all my and kristen's bullshit 8-) and and and you listen to my kevin problems >:o and my "im gunna kill that dirty little smut" problems
Your 3 worst qualities: uhm...
A compliment that makes you blush: alot...
You are embarassed when: i do something corny or stupid
The greatest physical pain you ever endured: the greatest? hmm...
The greatest emotional pain you ever endured: i dunno
Moment you are most ashamed of: ugh alot
Your best physical feature: uh?
Who/What makes you happy: being with the ppl i <3
Who/what makes you sad: thinking about jay :-\
Emotion you hide most: sadness
The emotion you tend to experience most: sadness
The emotion you are feeling most lately: hyper
You have a huge amount of guilt regarding: i dunno
When you are angry you need: to hit something or to talk to kristen n steph to plot death
When you are sentimental you need: when was the last time i was sentimental?
When you are in love you need:..never been in love
One of your most peaceful memories: hmm..
One of your most tragic memories:losing jay
One of you rangriest memories: is that even a word?
A memory that makes you laugh: remembering the stupid stuff me and my friends do
a memory that makes you happy: meeting my best friends for the 1st time
Something someone can say or do that you find extremely attractive: just their sweetness
Something someone can say or do that you find unattractive: being a complete dickhead
Two things appealing about people:depends
A personality trait you find appealing: how kool they are
Your secret passion: eyes
What you enjoy most about having a committed relationship:...:-\
DO you have a bf/gf if yes who? :-(
What do you find sexy about them: :-(
A place where you want to have sex: uh...thats my personal business :-x
A strange place where you have had sex: :-(
What drives you crazy (in a good way) about this person: :-(
What music is on when you have sex, or is it the tv? :-(
Favorite song to have sex to ::-(
Describe your mate physicaly: :-(
Describle your mate's personality: :-(
You feel most attractive when: :-(
Favorite thing you like to see your mate wear (clothing wise don't say naked): :-(
What would you like your mate to do more of: :-(
If you had more time alone you would: read
If you had more patience you would: i have good patience
If you could change one thing about your physical appearance what would it be:hmm..my weight
If you had no committments what would you be doing: uhm..
If you could have one super power what would it be: the ability to fly
If you could start all over....: oh my gosh..if i could start all over, i would change all the bullshit that happened between me and some people, i would make sure my best friend didnt kill himself..but than again..as i think about it..why start all over? why change the past..when i may not have the ppl i have in the present..
2 but her heart beats cold.. |
her blood runs hot..
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crimzonregret
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::
2004 20 February :: 8.28am
:: Mood: groggy
:: Music:
O.k So I'm sitting here in 1st period and I made up all my back work so now..I'm bored..I can't exactly type alot because there isnt much time left of the class. But, yeah.... I'm babysitting saturday....AGAIN... My sister is so gay, she can't even take care of her own son. No I get him, no wonder why he never wants my sister and he always wants me.. I'm like the poor kids mom....than my grandmother has the nerve to tell me that I let him get too close to me?!?!?!?!?!!? WTF is that?! She needs to stop acting like she3 knows everything... ok 2 mins left bye
her blood runs hot..
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crimzonregret
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2004 7 February :: 2.00am
:: Mood: happy
:: Music: Armor for Sleep
Tonigt..was the best
Ok, so here's the way
my day went....School
sucked as usual, got
home, ate, did dishes,
then went on the comp.
Talked to Kristen on the
comp, called Bridget and
Rian scared me :-(..than
I argued with my dad..
Then...Rian and Bridget
picked me up so we could
go bowling..Rian, Bridget,
Me, Jeanna and Sean, all
met Warren, Ashley, and JR
at United Artists, took them
in a COMPLETE circle lmao
than went bowling, that was
fucking fun...-lol- I got lap
dances from Ashley -lol- now,
I'm here with Bridget and Jeanna
just talking...So peace fucking out
<33 Sam <33
her blood runs hot..
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crimzonregret
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2004 6 February :: 8.04am
:: Mood: ecstatic
:: Music: Nothing, people typing on Keys
I'm in school
Hey, I'm in school in my
keyboarding class...I'm
about ready to go to
sleep I'm so exhausted.
Maybe that's what I'll do
when I go home after I
clean and talk to every1
I'm supposed to go bowling
with tonight :-D I'm so psyched
to go bowling with all of the
"cool" SJC losers.. I swear that
chat should be blown up.. But,
that's besides the point, last
night I got into a fight with
Angelo because he's being so
gay, and I don't know why, I
did nothing to him, than again,
I didn't do alot to the people I
used to be friends with. But, I
know who my real friends are,
and I make sure they know that
everyday... Bridget, Kristen and
Kevin, are the 3 people I trust
the most, they know it, I tell them
everything. I know that they will
help me steer in the right direction..
If they can't help me...knowing Bridget
and Kristen, they would be the asses
lost with me lmao! But, that's why I
love them both very much :-)
Hey Kevin...You're still not kool :-P
lol, I can't wait to see Kristen!! I miss
her so much! From spending weekends
with her and staying up all night talking
to her about everything and anything,
pictures with white out..my kitchen table,
and kitchen knives.....It's not possible
to have a bond like ours :-) It's too
precious to break...I see Bridget everyday
in school, but, I haven't actually "hung out" with her for the longest time, and 2night
I am :-) It's so exciting lol I'm so stupid .
O.k there's not alot of time left of 1st period I'll probably write more when I get home...
Love y'all
<3333333333333333 Sam
XoXoXoOxOxO :-*
her blood runs hot..
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crimzonregret
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::
2004 4 February :: 12.17am
:: Mood: blank
:: Music: nothing
O.k continuing the other
entry. My grandfather's
funeral was the 31st...
Uggh..It was horrible..
O.k, I'm going to go in
order. In the morning I
got up and did my hair,
got dressed, all that girly
shit...Than, we left to go
to the funeral parlor..Egizi..
The guy did an awsome job
on my grandfather..but,
that's not why I'm writing...
anyway, we went to say our
final goodbyes, I kissed his
cheek like I always did when
I was leaving my grandmother's
and told him I loved him and I
miss him already....Than we
all went into a little room so
they could close the casket...
I was crying my eyes out..than
we went to the burial :-\ that
was horrible, I got through it,
got half way through taps...than
when I was to put a rose on his
casket I lost it.. I cried all the way
to the luncheon..ohh..I forgot about
the church...I cried there too during
my cousins speech :-\ I miss him...
Ok Im out
<333 Sam
1 but her heart beats cold.. |
her blood runs hot..
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crimzonregret
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::
2004 30 January :: 11.19pm
:: Mood: sad
:: Music: nothing
Today was my grandfather's
veiwing and tomorrow is his
funeral.......it was the worse
today...I needed to be taken
out of the room three times..
once when we first walked in.
Just to see him laying there...
it killed me. I didn't know how
to react, it seemed all I could
do was shake and cry... I know
he's not suffering anymore and
that he's in a better place...but
I wanted to say goodbye......in
person..I'm afraid to see what
I'm going to be like when I go to
the funeral tomorrow....I just
couldn't handle it today...It's not
him, he's too skinny, he's not
smiling...that is not my poppy
he is not the grandfather I grew
up with...he is not the poppy that
taught me how to cha-cha...he's
too skinny...:-\ Uggh...why am I
being so immature about this...
My sister is trying to tell me that
I shouldn't be going tomorrow
because I was such a basketcase
tonight. But, I want to go, I have
to go..I NEED TO GO! I can't let my
grandfather down! He always pushed
me to go for what I wanted...To go
and get what I deserved...I guess..
I just have to remember him always
and know that he is alway going to
be there...maybe not physically, but
mentally and spiritually...Well..I'm
going I have to get up early tomorrow
<333 Sam
R.I.P
Poppy
September 12, 1936 to January 28, 2004
her blood runs hot..
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