moomoo
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2014 23 June :: 9.24pm
Summer is going by way too fast. I swear I have every weekend off booked already. Next month marks baby making time, so excited. Hopefully it wont take too long. I didn't get the first shift job. I just keep telling myself it will save me lots of money on day care. So excited for our future.
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spud
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2014 10 June :: 11.00pm
:: Mood: exhausted
this whole sobriety thing
*tolkien analogies in italics
i think i might try to start posting my AA stuff on here, just because i would like to have a place to put my thoughts and progress, and this seems a more suitable venue than facebook.
current status: i have a sponsor. i make it to as many meetings as possible, but tuesday night and friday night men's stags are my mainstays, as they fit into my schedule well, and i like the stag meetings. since i started my job, going every day has not been an option. not even close. even the monday night meetings with david have stopped, but i do talk to him on tuesday nights at least.
to sum up briefly (i may come back later and edit):
don't drink.
if only for the next five minutes, ten minutes, an hour, a day. don't worry about forever, or even tomorrow, just don't drink today.
fix the spirit first - the mind and body will follow
don't think your way into right living, live your way into right thinking.
pick the god that you want to be in charge of your life. if you're giving all control of your life to god's will, it should be a god that you're comfortable entrusting with it. (my god laughs at fart jokes) gandalf
don't drink.
pray. all the time.
establish a routine. ask for guidance in the morning (and remind yourself who's in charge while you're at it), say thanks at night.
don't drink.
be honest. completely, brutally, painfully honest. about everything.
be cognizant of what's going on between your ears. motives behind activities are important (WHY you're doing something helps determine whether or not it is advisable to do so).
don't let yourself get too hungry, angry, lonely, or tired (HALT)
be honest, open, and willing (HOW)
don't drink.
alcohol is cunning, baffling, powerful. the one ring
you have a disease, which is why you see others (who don't have it) drinking with impunity.
be of service. be available to help. look to be used for god's will.
don't drink.
it's pretty simple, really. i was just making shit unnecessarily complicated all this time. might not be easy, but it's simple. and it permeates everything in my life, whether i like it or not.
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spud
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2014 10 May :: 10.55pm
because batman
you can see the whole post here
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spud
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2014 1 May :: 7.38pm
sleep like a baby...
i never understood that. people say sleep like a baby when they are trying to describe a peaceful, restful sleep.
babies wake up and cry every couple hours. doesn't seem very restful to me. not to mention the whole having to eat, then burp, then throw up, then rest in your own excrement. i'd cry too. definitely not something i would consider in any way peaceful.
also, this is pretty cool:
 the varied states of corn
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spud
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2014 29 April :: 1.43pm
turns out i'm a pig....
i never really considered how being friend-zoned basically implies that (assuming the friendzoner is a lady, and the friendzonee is me) it is somehow the fault of the lady for not being into me, as opposed to being my fault for being into her.
as much as it always seems like "i just can't help the way i feel about you," why is it suddenly so bad a thing that she just can't help the way she doesn't feel about me, you know?
don't get me wrong, ladies, i'm still a pathetic romantic with more emotions than i know what to do with. but i'll try better to not hold it against you for not being interested in such a hot mess. not that i blame you in the slightest, and not that i don't feel awful in the rare event that i'm the friendzoner, but there still is some residual subconscious resentment and awkwardness there. and that is wrong.
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moomoo
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2014 24 April :: 8.50pm
Had a really good job interview today for a doctors office job. They invited me back tomorrow to shadow. I'm hoping this is a good sign. I really want a mon-fri job on 1st shift. Hopefully I get it and its not too much of a pay cut. The honeymoon was great. So much Sun and food. So hard go back to work. Looking forward to the future.
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spud
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2014 24 April :: 3.17pm
True Facts About Sloths
... but only if the world slowed way the f#!% down
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moomoo
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2014 16 April :: 7.19pm
So the wedding went great, no problems the whole day. The wedding was so much fun. So nice to see everyone all together family and friends. Had so much fun dancing. I cant wait to see all my wedding pictures. It was so nice of the photographer to set up a shoot in the hall and from what I have seen you cant even tell. Many pictures to come. The honeymoon so was also very nice. So warm, nice, good food, and great time. Now back to work :(
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skife
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2014 14 April :: 9.48pm
things i should be doing right now:
getting ready for bed
things i'm actually doing right now:
my taxes
Procrastination: Hard work might pay off later, being lazy pays off now.
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spud
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2014 4 April :: 4.06am
the more things change, the more they stay the same
*greetings from michigan:
my first lengthy stay away from home has come to a close. i haven't touched any alcohol in two weeks. i still don't know what the hell i'm doing with my life. and i already miss tahoe.*
i'm beginning to remember why i really didn't miss having the internet that much.
i don't need to know about your stupid kid, or what you're having for dinner, or the 10 reasons you belong in house baratheon.
i really don't.
the only time i missed it is when there was some silly piece of trivial knowledge that i couldn't remember, or i had to file an important form, or needed to pay a bill.
that's basically it. maybe watch videos, or steal music from somewhere, since i'm online. download shit to make my laptop work when i invariably fuck it up and delete something i wasn't supposed to.
not spend hours poring through meaningless babble about shit that doesn't really matter, in the lives of people who i haven't seen in years, who are only trying to make themselves look as accomplished and successful and happy as they possibly can. apparently it's working, because what started as mild curiosity - purely for the hell of it - proceeded into nostalgia, and eventually progressed to the inevitable "what have i done with my life?!" there are also a few unfortunates thrown in that (i would assume, in the light of those apparent successes) have resorted to more of a cry for help or attention, because they are at least honest about how much life can suck sometimes, combined with buying into everyone else's bullshit.
the sad part is, it is so enticing still. sure, i don't NEED any of this stuff, but why not enjoy some diversions, right? i'll read the entirety of that blog, just because i can. i guess it was marginally entertaining. enriching my life? no. i suppose, if nothing else, it kept me occupied for three hours. and that's something. maybe. i don't know. depends on what your time is worth. and what you choose to spend it on.
time to be more discerning about what it's spent on, rather than finding ways to burn it.
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spinder
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2014 6 March :: 6.39pm
Cancer update: Still sucks. Dont get it.
Mortality is an odd concept. When faced with someone you love keeling over it looms large in your mind. It changes alot of how you feel about your own life.
When the protagonist of that story rolls off her death bed and decides to keep living its really a bit jarring. I'm not complaining, its wonderful, but to a certain extent I was very ready to deal with Gloria's death. A lot of mental turmoil goes into preparing for that. For the time being, though, I can continue pretending everyone will continue living forever.
I just realized something while I was typing this. Now I know which of my parents I get my procrastination streak from.
Ahhaha... Dont judge; She'd laugh.
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m&ms487
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2014 17 February :: 9.27am
:: Mood: pensive
I'm twenty-six and probably buying a house in a few months.
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moomoo
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2014 4 February :: 9.55pm
Two months till the wedding. Its so close. Sending invitations this week. So excited for my bridal shower. So excited for our future. Many big things happening this year.
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