One day, I promise, you'll be everything you see in your dreams

One day, I promise, you'll be everything you see in your dreams

:: 2006 31 January :: 5.57pm
:: Mood: happy
:: Music: Freaky- Juelz Santana

I guess you could say that today was pretty eventful. I've fought with Amy pretty much all day. I won't go into details. And no, I don't feel bad for fighting with her. She brought it all upon herself.

Randi, Jena, Kristen, & I always talk; and when we're telling stories or whatever, it comes to the point where we've caught Amy in a lie. It would be fine if it happened like once a month, but no, it's EVERYDAY. We are all fed up with her drama and lies.

Not to mention, Amy and I started fighting once I found out she's talking to my [older] brother. She's calling him, text messaging him, and talking to him on aol. It really bothers me. Maybe I'm taking it a little bit out of hand, but in my eyes, she's MY friend, not his. Do you think I'm overreacting? Honestly? I don't think so, but Amy does.

Becky.

2 kissed me to die | with a smile on my face

paperheart

:: 2006 29 January :: 12.47pm
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: Believe- Brooks & Dunn

I've been sick all week and haven't felt like updating. I missed a day of school because I woke up with a really sore throat; not to mention I didn't have a voice that morning either. I still don't feel good, but I'm getting better. My ears hurt the worst though.

Today I went with my parents over to my grandma's house and made her breakfast again. Just as we do every weekend. Which is good considering she lives by herself. She needs the company.

School tomorrow; and class tomorrow night.

I love you.
Becky.

3 kissed me to die | with a smile on my face

paperheart

:: 2006 24 January :: 5.32am
:: Mood: tired

I started the medical terminology class at CCAC last night. I really liked it. It will be a lot of work; but nothing I can't handle. Last night we actually completed 3 chapters. I'm not used to that pace quite yet, but I'm still hanging on. We were also told that we have a test every week on the material we learned the week before. The class is from 6pm until 9:10pm every Monday.

I just wanted to update really quick. I need to go take a shower so I can get ready for school. Comment me.

Becky.

6 kissed me to die | with a smile on my face

paperheart

:: 2006 22 January :: 7.18pm
:: Mood: ecstatic
:: Music: Wish You Were Here- Pink Floyd

This weekend was pretty much amazing. =]

Friday I came home from school and took a much needed nap. I woke up; and read for a while. After that I went out for the night with the best guy in the entire world. <333

On Saturday, I went to my grandmother's house with my parents, and we cooked her breakfast. I came home and then left again. After I got home, I cleaned my room and did some of my homework.

Today I was just laying around all day. I was waiting for 3pm to roll around so that I can watch the Steeler game. Which by the way was great. Steelers beat the Broncos; 34-17 and we're on our way to Detroit for the Superbowl. I'm not sure who we're playing yet; that game is still going on. It's probably going to be Seattle. I'm not too worried about it. The Steelers are going strong.

I love you.
Becky.

2 kissed me to die | with a smile on my face

im-sorry
[ loserxdork ]

:: 2006 22 January :: 1.12pm

I'm sorry for calling you so early.
I just needed someone to talk to.
I'm sorry for the way I am, I try so hard.
I'm sorry I can't be perfect, or even close.
I'm sorry I make it so hard to love me, when I know you try your best.
I want you.
I love you.
I just want you to love me.
Please?

....I'm sorry I hurt you, I just want us to be together and to be strong together, I don't want my mistakes to mess us up, I love you ♥♥

with a smile on my face

im-sorry
[ loserxdork ]

:: 2006 22 January :: 1.12pm

1 kissed me to die | with a smile on my face

Im-Sorry
[ xsilentxsuicidex ]

:: 2006 22 January :: 1.18am

i'm just sorry.

for whatever i did to push you all away.
i don't know what it is.
i just seem to fuck up anything that makes me happy.
every time.

and i'm sorry,
to every one of you...
to myself.

this is it.
it's all over.
the end.

1 kissed me to die | with a smile on my face

paperheart

:: 2006 21 January :: 4.21pm
:: Mood: blank
:: Music: Sarah McLachlan- Angel

When the broken hearts are mended and the many tears are dried, you learn. When you're over the old boyfriends and girlfriends and you realize you can live without your first love, you learn. You see that the world doesn't end just because you think it will, and that sometimes growing up means letting go. You learn what real love is, and you begin to see that one friend who really cares about you is better than a hundred friends who don't. You learn that you can be strong. Take each day step-by-step, and survive every sad moment. So feel the pain and cry the tears, go out and experience life. But when you're at the end of your rope, and you're ready to jump off that ledge, remember that heartache fades, ~~pain~~ subsides, and though life seems at times too tough to handle, it's also too precious a gift to waste. So keep living. Never give up, and remember: You Learn.

Becky.

2 kissed me to die | with a smile on my face

paperheart

:: 2006 19 January :: 12.21pm
:: Mood: pissed off

Ahh, I don't know why I haven't updated. Haven't felt like it I guess. Anyway, Amy and I went to the mall last night. After that we went to Wal*Mart and then went somewhere to get something to eat.

Today has been a really bad day since I woke up. Not to mention, Kristen and I are fighting again. We were sitting at lunch today; and she said:

Kristen- "Becky, I've been meaning to ask you something. What did Sam say about Randi & I being friends again?"

Me- "She didn't say anything."

Kristen- "You're lying."

Okay, so that's when I flipped and cussed her out. First of all, nobody will ever sit there and call me a liar to my face and not expect to get a bad response out of me. I'm not a liar, and I don't appreciate someone calling me one. Second of all, Sam really didn't say anything because she doesn't care. A lot of people are really self conscience, and think everyone talks about them. But actually, they are worthless and nobody could give a rat's ass about them.

Becky.

5 kissed me to die | with a smile on my face

paperheart

:: 2006 11 January :: 9.23pm
:: Mood: okay
:: Music: My Best Friend- Tim McGraw

I haven't felt like updating. Actually, I haven't had anything to update about. School is school. Family is family. Friends are friends. That's pretty much it.

I came home from school today and my mom, my brother and I went to a few places, and then we went to the mall. I wanted a new pair of shoes. So I got a really cute pair of Pink & White Etnies for $45.

The part of this song is perfect;
You're more than a lover. There could never be another. To make me feel the way you do. And oh, we just get closer. I fall in love all over, everytime I look at you. And I don't know where I'd be. Without you here with me. Life with you makes perfect sense. You're my best friend.

Becky.

3 kissed me to die | with a smile on my face

paperheart

:: 2006 7 January :: 7.22pm
:: Mood: bored
:: Music: Because of You- Kelly Clarkson

Survey.
Basics.
Time started: 7:22pm
Name: Rebecca
Nickname: Becky; Becca
Sex: Female
Birthday: August 13, 1988
Sign: Leo
Siblings: One brother
Eye color: Blue
Shoe size: 8-8 1/2
Height: 5'3"
What are you wearing right now: T-shirt & Pajama Pants
Where do you live: At home with my parents
Are you a righty or lefty: Righty
Relationships or no relationships: Relationships
Breakfast: I don't eat breakfast that often.
Favorite cartoon characters: Spongebob Squarepants & Jimmy Neutron

Have you ever?..
Given anyone a bath: Yes
Bungee Jumped: Yes
Parasailed: No, but I want to, and I will.
Made yourself throw-up: I tried, but I can't do it.
Gone skinny dipping: Yes
Been in the opposite sex's bathroom: Yes
Eaten a dog biscuit: When I was little.
Got your tongue stuck to a pole: No
Loved someone so much it made you cry: Yes
Played truth or dare: Of course.
Been in a physical fight: Yeah.. lol.
Been in a police car: Nope
Been in a hot tub: Yes
Swam in the ocean: mhmm.
Fallen asleep in school: Just once when I was sick. But the teacher yelled at me, and I haven't been able to sleep since. I was so afraid of him.
Ran away: No
Broken someone's heart: I doubt it.
Flashed someone: Yes
Cried in school: Yes
Fell off your chair: Yes
Saved MSN / AOL / AIM conversations: Only the important ones.
Saved e-mails: Yes
Fallen for a close or best friend?: Yeah

First thing that comes to mind...
Red: Roses
Blue: Sky
Autumn: Leaves
Cow: Moo
Cat: Meow
Nickel: Silver
Elbow: Nothing came to mind.

What is?..
Your room like: Small, but clean.
The last thing you said: "I'm bored."
Beside you right now: Papers, & Water

Have you?..
Had Chicken pox: Yeah.
Had a Sore Throat: Yeah. I have one right now as a matter of fact.
Loved anyone: Of course. I still do.

Do you?..
Believe in love at first sight: No. That bothers me.
Like picnics: I've never been on a picnic.
Like school: Yeah, only because I like to learn.
Like filling these out: Obviously
Wear contacts or glasses: No
Like yourself: Just depends.
Get along with your family: Yeah, sometimes.
Have piercings below the waist?: No

Would you?..
Eat a live hamster: Hell no.
Go to a Hanson concert: No
Kill someone you didn't know for 15 billion dollars: No, because I couldn't use the 15 billion dollars in jail.

Are you?..
Obsessive?: Yes; about alot of things.
Anorexic?: No.
Suicidal? No.

Who was the last person?..
You touched? My dog; if that counts.
You massaged: Jake
You Kissed: Jake
You yelled at: My dog
You had a crush on: Jake started out as a crush..
You were in love with: Jake; and I still am.
Who broke your heart: Kevin

Final questions...
How many people are you sending this to: None
What are you listening to right now: Football on TV
What did you do yesterday: Went to school && came home.
Last night: Nothing.
What is your favorite band: At the moment; The Academy Is.
Hated someone in your family: Yes
Got any awards: Yes.
Have you ever gone streaking? No
Want to get married someday: Yes
What is your favorite video game? Madden Football [any year]
Have a lava lamp?: Yes
How many remote controls are in your house: About 10
Are you double jointed: Not that I know of.
What do you dream about: Everything.
The last movie you saw in theatres? The Incredibles. It's been a while.
Scary or happy movies: Both
Root beer or Dr. Pepper: I don't drink pop.
Mud or Jell-O wrestling: Jell-O; haha.
Silver or Gold: Gold
Diamond or pearl: Diamond
Sunset or Sunrise: Sunrise
Phone or in person: In person
Oldest, middle, youngest or only child: Youngest
End Time?: 7:42pm

Becky.

with a smile on my face

paperheart

:: 2006 5 January :: 6.00pm
:: Mood: irritated
:: Music: Dance Dance- Fallout Boy

I can feel my attitude changing towards every little thing that is going on right now. It feels like I can physically hurt someone, or something and not even care. No, I'm not thinking about murdering anyone, so don't let rumors fly.

I'm tired of waking up every morning to face a battle with my parents. I feel as though I'm being treated like a 5 year old, and in reality, I'm a 17 year old who is going to be graduating from high school this year. I can't ever voice my opinions, so I usually just say them to myself; atleast I'll listen. I didn't feel like doing that this time. Things such as getting my license and being able to go out with friends on school nights may seem like little things, but little things are what bother me the most. I haven't done anything to anyone in order for them to lose their trust with me; and I don't intend to be treated as though I have.

While I'm on the subject of things bothering me, I might as well continue on with something else.

Dear Friend,

You'll wake up sometime and realize what you're doing wrong, and why it's wrong. Take 10 minutes out of your busy schedule to think to yourself why you're doing what you're doing, and then try to tell me that it's something worthwhile.

Becky.

12 kissed me to die | with a smile on my face

skittlicious

:: 2006 3 January :: 5.09pm
:: Mood: confused
:: Music: nickelback : savin' me

seventy times 7.
I'm not happy, and its not my fault this time. The people that I feel like are my friends, the people that I feel like are my everything, are nothing. They follow their leader and I'm just there for their amusement. I'm making new friends this semester, ones that they will never know, they don't deserve to know them. Brand new says its best "Dont apoloize, I hope you choke and die."

:-\ goodnight.

5 kissed me to die | with a smile on my face

paperheart

:: 2006 3 January :: 12.18pm
:: Mood: sick
:: Music: You'll Always Be My Baby- Mariah Carey

I went to bed at 11:30 last night, not feeling too well. My stomach hurt really bad. Then I woke up at 1:00am this morning and got sick. Then it happened about every hour; and it's still happening. I was sick exactly 3 weeks ago with the same thing. I've been sleeping, and drinking Ginger Ale. Hopefully I'll feel better soon. Blah.

I love you.
Becky.

7 kissed me to die | with a smile on my face

im-sorry
[ loserxdork ]

:: 2006 2 January :: 4.09am

I'm sorry that I mess everything up, and that I ruin everything. I am sorry that I try to think of everyone else but in the end I end up only thinking about myself, I'm sorry that I strive so hard to be a good person but I end up being horrible.

I'm just, sorry....

4 kissed me to die | with a smile on my face