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werealljaded

:: 2004 14 March :: 6.18pm
:: Mood: so-so

being a chick sucks...
i guess sometimes i just need some reassurance. i am a girl underneath it all....i need to be told every once in a while that i am pretty and a nice person. i get insecure just like everyone else. and i don't have anyone to bring me up.


and another thing that is bothering me. i don't understnad why my dad acts so differently towards my brother then he did me. anytime i talked back to my dad when i was his age i would have gotten thrown or slapped or something. my dad just takes all my little brothers shit. i honestly think it might be because D.J. is his real son and i'm not blood. or maybe he just doesn't like me. my two older sisters even say that i had it worse then anyone else in the house. why? what made him hate me soo much to have to treat me the way he did. what did i ever do to him? fuck everyone, no matter what you always end up alone....without anyone to care for you. i just learned that at a much earlier age in my life.

with a smile on my face


LOSERxDORK

:: 2004 14 March :: 2.08pm
:: Mood: PISSED
:: Music: hold on- good charlotte

quiz - soo freakin bored
--Background--
DOB:: Nov, 16th 1988
Age:: 15
Location:: front of my house
Siblings:: 2 sisters
Pets:: my cat
IF YOU WERE_ WHAT WOULD U BE?
Veggetable:: carrots
Animal:: dog
Fruit:: banana
Color:: black or red
Household Object:: computer
Season:: fall
Article of Clothing:: clevage shirt- lol
Drink:: chocolate milk
--Emotions--
What's one thing that will always make you laugh?: when samm yells 'IM A LESBIONIC CRACKHEAD'
What's one thing that will always make you cry?: hold on by good charlotte or thinking about eddie or marlo
What's one thing that will always make you angry?: when people lie to me
Do you laugh a lot?: sometimes
Do you cry a lot?: ehh
Do you get mad easily?: oh HELL YEAH i do
What's your strongest emotion right now?: depressed pretty much and sometimes i feel alone
What song brings out your strongest emotion?: Fukk Authority
--What's your favorite...--
Season:: fall
Holiday:: channukah
Age:: 2
Phrase/Quote:: 'i want you to want me, i need you to need me'
Thing to do:: going to concerts
Type of Cookie:: thin mint girl scout cookies
Class:: ummm health issues
Person in the whole wide world:: richie <3
--If You Could--
If you could be anything you wanted (animal, object...) what would you be?: can i just be invisible?
If you could have any super power, what would you have?: being immortal
If you could go back in time and change something, what would you change?: being friends with her...
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would you change?: that im so anti social
If you could change one thing about your best friend, what would it be?: change how pretty she is...
If you could be a millionare, what would you buy?: my favorite band to play whenever i wanted
--A Deeper Look--
The most important thing in your life is:: my mom and my grandparents
The most important person in your life is:: my mom,grandparents,sammi,jaymes
Your life motto:: care about yourself first before you care about other people
Your best advice for someone else:: don't keep shit inside
The best advice ever given to you:: life is hard, deal
One word to describe your personality:: i think its good
--Friends and Enemies--
Who is your best friend?: sammi
What do you do together?: drink,listen to music,smoke cigs,watch movies,go to conerts
What is it about this person that makes you get along so well?: she is just so amazing
How long have you known them?: 15 years
Who is your worst enemy?: mark
What is it about this person that makes you not get along?: he tried to rape me
Your close friends (besides best friend) are:: jenn,vix,scutch,laur,ris,sherri,josh,tim,larry,sal
Your other enemies are:: jess ragusta,stefanie rodjin,maxine alazraki,jess martinez(not so much anymore)
--Days and Nights--
What time do you get up on weekdays?: 5:00 if i take a shower 6:00 when i dont
What time do you get up on weekends?: around 10 normally but no later than 12
What time do you go to bed on weeknights?: 12?
What time do you go to bed on weekends?: haha like never
What's your favorite time of the day?: 8 at night
Why?: it just is
What's your least favorite time of the day?: the beginning of a school day
Why? cause i got the rest of the day left
What time are you most productive?: mid-day
Are you an early bird or a night owl?: night owl
--Love & All That Good Stuff--
Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?: nope
If yes, how long have you been dating them?: i dont have a fuckin boyfriend.
If no, do you want one?: yuypp
Who would you want them to be?: i dont know, someone who cares about me...
Are you sure about that?: YEAH
Do they know you like them?: um everyone i like does...
Are you sure about that?: yupp+
On a scale of 1 to 10, how much do you like this person?: 10, if it wasn't 10 i wouldnt wanna date them
Do they like you back?: most of them
Are you sure about that?: yeah i guess
How much time do you spend thinking about this person?: a lot of time

--On a scale of 1-10, how important is ...... to you?--
Music:: 9.5
Friends:: 10
Family:: 10
Love:: 9
Happiness:: 10.
Solitude:: huh?
Education:: 6
Having Fun:: 7

i was bored...so i took this, comment away

with a smile on my face


skittlicious

:: 2004 13 March :: 11.49pm
:: Mood: reassured

I'm not quitting, well not this week. I'm gonna give it atleast another week. Tomorrow I'm talkign to my manager about "the situation" and I think things might be okay? Lauren took a little 'consenses' tonight, and only one person (Maggie, ugh) said I should quit. And my manager said he isn't going to let me. That made me feel so good, I was starting to doubt things. A lot, I definitly thought that people there didn't like me, like I was still "the new girl" but I know that I'm not, and that's all that matters, right? right! So thank you Lauren, it meant a lot. Your message is saved on my phone too, cause it made me happy. Other news, this whole Mauricio crap is over, done blah blah blah. So yeah, things are looking up. Me and my mom are really good, and things with my dad are really good. Now that things are happy, Im waiting for the bad thing to fall down on it. I'm off to bed, this girl's got a headahce.

<3mandyy

with a smile on my face


LOSERxDORK

:: 2004 13 March :: 9.08pm
:: Music: frusturated

well, today was a decent day. i hung out with kristi,leslie,john,andrew,and greg. they are amazing they are my boces friends that ride the bus with me in the morning :) soo we hung around all day and did nothing. at 2 my mom took my sisters home and then went to the hospital to see my grandma. currently it is 8:53 and my mom is still at the hospital and sherri is at dougs house and leslie,kristi,andrew,john,and greg just left my house. sherri is coming over my house and yeah. i hope everyone had a good day :)

andrew greg john kristi leslie caitlin amanda danny mark kait lara paris alex ray and mikey are amazing sexy pieces of ass!!! :)

with a smile on my face


skittlicious

:: 2004 12 March :: 9.46pm

So basically I've let her get to me, and I'm 99% sure that Im going to quit the restaurant. The worst part about it is that I'm so inlove with my job. But, work isn't suppose to be as sad and hard as it is, and I'm not suppose to have this many issues with people, well with them. So come sunday, I think I'm giving my notice. I'm not happy about this, but I can't leave work like I did tonight. And, I think getting the job might have been a mistake. I'm just sad cause I found something I truly loved to do.


with a smile on my face


LOSERxDORK

:: 2004 12 March :: 12.15pm
:: Mood: bored
:: Music: atreyu

its lunchtime in school..yeahh and im bored as hell


update about the day later :)

with a smile on my face


LOSERxDORK

:: 2004 12 March :: 7.14am
:: Mood: aggravated
:: Music: fallout boy

really mad
COMMENT PEOPLE, THIS IS MAKING ME REALLY MAD HOW ALL I DO IS WRITE THESE ENTRIES IN HERE FOR YOU GUYS TO READ (ALL MY FRIENDS) AND I HAVE A FEW OF THEM AND NONE OF YOU READ IT OR COMMENT. AND IF YOU READ IT YOU CAN'T JUST PUT A LITTLE COMMENT ON THE BOTTOM? IDK IT JUST MAKES ME MAD

->sorry, but i just can't stand it anymore. im getting a ride to school today and then i have dance and then probably hanging out with like jaymes and tim and something and maybe sammi jco and scutch and having a little party for all of us who have been friends for 10 years or longer :-P lollll <3333

edit: i have 18 friends and in about 5 journal entries or so not one has commented keep that in mind.

i<3richie
i heart derek

4 kissed me to die | with a smile on my face


LOSERxDORK

:: 2004 11 March :: 9.01pm
:: Mood: decent
:: Music: marilyn manson

ehh, bored
color: black and red
movie(s): jack,schindlers list,gothika
car: hyundai elantras (nice looking cars),lamborghini and IDK
song: this love - maroon 5
band(s): metallica,a static lullaby,bleeding through,korn,marilyn manson
girl(s): samm,amy,jenn,scutch,vix,lauryn,maris,jess,krys,chris - and more
guys(s): jaymes,tim,josh,sal,larry,liam,nick,bobby,hillel,derek - and more
tv show: 7th heaven and everwood baby
video game: ummm how about - burnout point of impact 2 for playstation 2?
number: it has to be even!
place to go: a couch,the mall - HEHE
word(s): mmk,asscock
store: pac sun,urban outfitters
screen name: maj0rd0rkage,m3ntalshorty
city: new york city,los angeles
radio station: how about KROCK?

->quick quiz cause i was bored. i got off the bus and right away went to the hospital to see my grandma then i went to taco bell for dinner and then we went to see some apartment. i thought it was pretty nice but my guess is that my mom didn't like it. OH WELL :-/ see ya later alligatorssssss

<3

with a smile on my face


werealljaded

:: 2004 11 March :: 7.18pm

i'm pissed off....as usual, and can't say it....as usual. story of my life....as usual
i give up on caring about anything, it's really not worth it...especially over things that don't care about you

with a smile on my face


LOSERxDORK

:: 2004 10 March :: 11.55pm
:: Mood: calm
:: Music: evanescence

hospital
well, today was an aright day. i went to therapy at 5 and then i went to the hospital to see my grandma. she had been there from 10 am and she didn't get a room until about 8:30 pm, stupid fuckers. she's in soo much pain and it hurts to see her like this. oh wow, this shit fucks with me emotionally. i'm not going to sleep yet and at 12 im calling richie because he keeps me somewhat sane :) i love him a lot and it sucks so much that he lives in california :(

Nucklee: i dont know you said you got back from the hospital i just started freaking
maj0r d0rkage: aw why?
Nucklee: i thought something happened to you
-->aww he cares. it's nice to know SOMEONE does.

i wish i had never met you, so then i wouldn't have to spend every day wondering why i can't see you :-/ <3

with a smile on my face


werealljaded

:: 2004 10 March :: 10.48pm
:: Music: Deftones..be quiet and drive-what and amazing song

i suck

with a smile on my face


werealljaded

:: 2004 10 March :: 10.08pm
:: Music: Hootie & The Blowfish...remember them?

lyrics=poetry
it's amazing the impact music can have on someone. i could be in the worst mood ever, and if one of my Favorite songs comes on...suddenly, i couldn't be happier.

another thing abOut music, is that it's like insight to my life. whenever i am down or need help or just need to vent- i can always find a song with lyRics that pieces everything together for me. i have troubles expressing my emotions, so i love how there's always a song out there that puts into words my feelings for me. i can relate anything to a song lyric.

it's also amazing how many memories a song can bring. for example, i can remember exactly where i was, what i was wearing and who i was with the first time i heard mxpx.... and everytime i hear the song hurricane, i think of Travis and how cute he was screaming the lyrics at the top of his lungs in his little girlie car, and how he smelled....even though he sucKs because he hurt me a lot last year..... and blink 182's First date...joe potter and how we used to beAt each other up. just lots of dumb things pop into my head with just about every song. maybe i'm just Crazy..maybE not.

with a smile on my face


skittlicious

:: 2004 10 March :: 4.10pm

I need a fresh start, a new place, a new everything. My mom is always talking about North Carolina and when I graduate, that's where shes moving, cause she doesn't want to take me away from here, cause it's where I've been my whole life, maybe we can move now. I think I'd actually like that :-\


2 kissed me to die | with a smile on my face


skittlicious

:: 2004 10 March :: 4.10pm

I need a fresh start, a new place, a new everything. My mom is always talking about North Carolina and when I graduate, that's where shes moving, cause she doesn't want to take me away from here, cause it's where I've been my whole life, maybe we can move now. I think I'd actually like that :-\


with a smile on my face


skittlicious

:: 2004 10 March :: 4.10pm

I need a fresh start, a new place, a new everything. My mom is always talking about North Carolina and when I graduate, that's where shes moving, cause she doesn't want to take me away from here, cause it's where I've been my whole life, maybe we can move now. I think I'd actually like that :-\


with a smile on my face

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