cjessicapyne
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2008 21 November :: 11.00pm
:: Mood: disappointed
:: Music: Rihanna - Rehab.
Baby, baby, when we first met, I never felt something so strong. You were like my lover and my best friend all wrapped into one, with a ribbon on it.
I have a ton of things I need to write, but I'm working on dealing with these things I need to type first.
It's easy to set a goal and look up at it, completely ignoring all of the hurdles and obstacles in between. In fact, I've made a habit of it. Because if I let on to myself in any way, I'd never get anywhere.
Not that I've even been moving forward lately.
Just backwards and sometimes, around in circles.
And I'll never give myself to another the way I gave it to you.
Don't even recognize the ways you hurt me, do you?
It's gonna take a miracle to bring me back.
And you're the one to blame.
Is it bad when you finally convince someone to divuldge all of the rotten things they've ever said about you, and you're left expecting worse? Because that's where I'm at.
Like, spot on.
I over-analyze to begin with but now I'm just overboard.
I'm looking at things from angles that shouldn't even exist.
Tilting my head in ways it shouldn't even go.
I'm hearing words and trying to translate them into languages that have long since died.
I try to hold my hands up and say, "no, I don't know what my problem is."
But I do.
Me. I'm my problem.
And these things in my head. Thoughts? Yeah, those. They're a big issue too.
I've lost track of my 'off' button and am left with 'self-destruct.'
But I worry not! I have plenty of people willing to detonate that sucker for me.
3 sparks |
in the dark..
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phil-himself
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2008 17 November :: 2.32am
I don't know what to believe anymore.
Tired from over thinking, numb from over feeling.
When you try to move on and things get thrown back at you.
This whole event seems like mutually assured destruction.
in the dark..
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phil-himself
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2008 16 November :: 1.11pm
Mudvayne - Pushing Through This
Salt the wound
Cut through a conscience I've failed to explore
The calm before the storm
Speak your peace and prepare for the fall
Words have been chosen
Tainting the gift
Lying truth's so increditable
So fuck you all
I'm turning my back on this killing so small
Step by step I'm pushing through this
(All of you get away from me)
Eye for an eye I'm pushing through this
My law
Step by step I'm pushing through this
(All of you get away from me)
Tooth for a tooth I'm pushing through this
Through you
3 sparks |
in the dark..
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phil-himself
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2008 16 November :: 12.39am
Drastic steps
in the dark..
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phil-himself
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2008 10 November :: 3.46pm
Lawls my insurance company gave me a PT Loser to drive while my chevy is getting fixed.
This has been a fun afternoon of abusing someone else's car.
in the dark..
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phil-himself
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2008 9 November :: 12.27am
More bullshit, a fucking car wreck. Fucking Hell just what I needed tonight.
I would really like to be able to talk to a certain someone right now.
5 sparks |
in the dark..
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angel_bob
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2008 4 November :: 12.35am
Vote tomorrow, bitches.
2 sparks |
in the dark..
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phil-himself
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2008 26 October :: 1.22pm
Not going into work today till 6:00pm because I have the flu. Such a shitty week this has been.
in the dark..
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angel_bob
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2008 25 October :: 10.41pm
Did I tell you I updated my law blog photoblog?
Because I did.
3 sparks |
in the dark..
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angel_bob
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2008 16 October :: 2.34pm
:: Music: Sons and Daughters
To everyone who will never see this:
(This isn't about you. If you think it's about you, it's not. It's about a certain vous.)
Not everyone's religion is your religion. You can't just push your views on me and I can't just push my views on you.
I believe in God. But my god seems to be a little nicer than your god. And if that makes me wrong, or a heathen or whatever, I don't care. I'm living in a happy, nice world with a happy, nice God who loves everyone, where free will means free happiness and where people are happy and love each other. If that's not a world you like, that's fine because it's my world. And I'm happy here.
I just don't understand why anyone would want people to not be happy.
I don't understand how what you do makes you happy. Does judging others make you feel better? Does alienating your friends and family make you happy? If it does, then that's fine. I'd only ever want you to be happy. But if it doesn't? Why do you keep doing it?
I love you all.
5 sparks |
in the dark..
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