sucky update that you dont want to read
okay. umm... this is my storry for english and it's really really bad so please dont read it but i havent updated in awhile so i needed to put something long and lisa said she'd kill me if i didnt update.. so.. yeah. sorry about my story sucking so much. i'm warning you not to read it.


The Grave-Marker and The Dearly Departed

The day I met Robbie started out like any other. I woke up, dressed myself in black, went to school and hid in the background. I ignored the cheerleaders’ laughter and not even the smallest, most geeky freshman bothered to suppress a giggle as I tripped over the trashcan and dropped all my books, again. I pick myself up and just keep walking. I’ve learned that’s the only way to beat them: just keep walking.
After school, I started walking home. As it did everyday, the second intersection asked me if I’d like to go home or go to the town graveyard. I answered by turning left on to Cemetery Drive. I liked to go to the graveyard. It was quite, and no one there wanted to disturb me. The Mom-ster didn’t feel the same as the dead. She felt that if I was home, it was my fault. Whatever it was, it was my fault and I needed to fix it. The dead are past my help and they know it.
As I neared the graveyard, I couldn’t help but notice KEEP OUT was written across the entrance in red paint. I walked in and there the painter stood, dressed in black. His eyes matched the color of his clothes, which matched the color of his hair, which matched his black nail polish and eyeliner. His skin was a ghostly pale, which gave him a slightly eerie look.
The boy noticed me staring at him. He started walking over to me and I prepared myself to flee. I thought he was going to attack me, but instead be tossed me a can of black spray paint. To my surprise, I caught it. All he said was “This place could do with some redecorating. Leave your mark.” And then he went on painting.
I stood uncertainly for a few minutes, and then I took the top off the can. The boy had written “Here Lies a Man’s Defeat” on a white gravestone and signed it “The Grave-Marker.” I walked over to a grave that said “mother” on it. On the grass in front of the grave I wrote, “Here lies a daughter’s tears.” I hesitated, then signed it “the dearly departed”
The Grave-Marker came over to inspect my work. “Nice. Dearly Departed, Eh?”
“No,” I replied. “‘Dearly’ implies being missed. I’m just departed.”
“You look alive to me, but what do I know.”
“Yeah, well…” my voice trailed off.
We continued painting until dark. By the time the sunset, I had drawn skulls and warning on almost every gravestone, and The Grave-Marker had started a new project. There was this big tree in the center of the graveyard. It had been planted about 20 years ago, but 10 years ago it had become a grave plot. The Grave-Marker took out a pocketknife and carved his warnings into the bark of the tree.
As the first star appeared, The Grave-Marker put down his knife. “You should go home. You’re mom will be expecting you. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Without a word, I gathered my things and left. I considered not showing up tomorrow, but I knew I would. But how did he know I would?

I went through the process of a day at school again. Dressed in black, ignored the laughter, tripped and fell. And I came to the second intersection on my way home. It asked me if I’d like to take a right and go home to the Mom-ster. I took a left.
The Grave-Marker was there, waiting for me with a sharpie and a can of red paint. He handed them to me and said, “Leave your mark.” He handed me what looked like a picket sign, it was a piece of wood, painted white, on a stick. I wasn’t sure where to start.
I looked over at the Grave-Marker’s. He had written THIS COULD BE YOU and signed it “the grave-marker.” He stuck it into the ground above a grave.
I wrote “NO ONE SMILES TODAY” and than drew two sad drama faces, instead of one happy and one sad. And of course, I signed it “the Dearly Departed.” I walked over to The Grave Marker. My shy instincts told me to stay away, but I could resist asking his name. “Grave Marker,” I whispered. “Might I know your real name?”
“If I can know yours,” he replied.
I smiled. “Jenna. I’m Jenna.”
“Well nice to meet you Jenna. I’m Robbie, Robbie Orson.” And with that, the pale Grave Marker had a name, and somehow, after that, he became more human to me. It might seem like no big deal, but Robbie became my friend, and I became his. He never knew how much he meant to me, and I don’t think I’ll ever meet another person like him.
Robbie and I met every day in the graveyard. We wrote our warnings on signs and put them over all the graves, but Robbie seemed much more interested in carving his warnings into the tree that marked some boy’s grave. We called it the Dead Tree. I tried carving once, but it was definitely Robbie’s thing, not mine. The first time I held the knife, the cold blade sliced through my finger, and after that, I left the carving to Robbie. His skill with the blade was undeniable. It seemed to never slip. I should have noticed that he never bled.
When the Dead Tree had warnings carved as high as we could reach, Robbie took a match from his pocket. He looked at me with a devilish gleam in his eye. “Let’s burn this sucker to the ground,” and with that, he lit the match. I stared at him in horror. He threw down the match and I stomped on it before the flame had to time to catch anything.
“Jenna, what the Hell are you doing?” he yelled.
“Robbie…” I started. “This is wrong. The Dead Tree is here to mark this kid’s grave. You can’t just burn it. It… it isn’t... fair.”
He glared at me. “How do you know what fair is, Jenna? Tell me, do you know if anyone would care if we burned it? Maybe someone would thank us! Maybe the boy is trapped here and can’t escape because this tree is blocking his way! Maybe he needs me to burn this tree! Maybe it would set him free.” He was crying by now. Robbie was standing there with tears streaming down his ghostly face. I wrapped my arms around him and he shook. And then he whispered “Maybe he need’s me to set him free.”
And then, I whispered five words I wish I could take back more than anything. “It’s just a stupid tree.”
Robbie broke free from me and screamed, “You know nothing!” And with that, he left. I didn’t chase him. I probably could have cut through and caught him by the back entrance, but I stood there dumbly. Why didn’t I chase him?
I wish that was the last I saw of Robbie, but it wasn’t. The next day, I woke up, dressed in black, went to school, dropped my books, and turned left onto Cemetery Drive. Instead of the quiet scene that usually awaited me, a fire truck, siren blaring, passed me. At the graveyard there were two more trucks, unloading hoses. And then I heard someone scream.
“Oh my God! There’s a boy in there!” I turned my head to see the flames wrapping Robbie in their warm embrace, as he sat on top of the burning tree. I heard another scream, it could have been my own, and then my limp body hit the pavement.
Now I turn right every day. Cemetery Drive calls me, but I can’t go. I just… can’t. I see Robbie just sitting there, almost enjoying himself. But today is different. Today I need to make a left. It’s been a month since the fire and it’s my last day of senior year. In two months I’ll leave this town and never come back. I need to pay my respects to the dead I terrorized.
I woman sits at the bottom of the scarred tree. She is holding a bouquet of white roses and weeping. I stand in the background for a few minutes before approaching her. “Who was it?” I ask.
“My son,” she replies. “He died 10 years ago, 10 years ago today.”
“Oh,” I say, because I don’t know what else to say. Then I mumble, “I’m sorry.”
“It’s hard, you know. It’s hard to let go, but I know this is what he wanted. I can’t understand what I did to make him want this. To kill himself.” I gently touch her shoulder.
“I’m sure it was nothing you did. Sometimes nothing can be done.”
“I can’t think why anyone would want to burn his grave marker. It seems like such a horrible thing to do.”
“Maybe… Maybe whoever did it wanted to set your son free.”
“Maybe.” She nodded, like she was accepting my explanation.
“May I ask his name?”
The woman smiled. “His name was Robbie. Robbie Orson.” And with that, she walked away.



that's my story. or the crap version of it. sorry. i didnt feel like dying by way of lisa rising killing me. SORRY

6 days and counting down.


you're friend,
:(shadow):

school. tomorrow. ah.

deadloser540 (7:48:23pm): tell me a story
deathknell13 (7:48:30pm): okay.
deathknell13 (7:48:38pm): so once uppon a time
deathknell13 (7:48:45pm): there were four girls
deathknell13 (7:49:25pm): from france named pricilla, queenie, dorris and charly
deathknell13 (7:49:57pm): they went to london because the queen was going to knight them
deathknell13 (7:50:09pm): they were very excited
deathknell13 (7:50:49pm): when they got there, the had a whole day before the knighting. the went for a paddle boat ride
deathknell13 (7:51:24pm): pricilla and charly had to paddle boat while queenie and dorris relaxed. bitches
deathknell13 (7:53:00pm): as they were paddle boating, a big bubble came up under their boat, and made it capsize. queenie almost drowned, but a giant turtle the size of two bathtubs came up from beneath her and saved her.
deathknell13 (7:53:16pm): he said his name was arguala maloto
deathknell13 (7:53:35pm): he said he was the king of england
deathknell13 (7:53:58pm): the four girls laughed. no you're not. they said. you're a turtle
deathknell13 (7:55:09pm): arguala said they were wrong. i am the king. he said. the human queen is planning a trap for you. she wants to take over france. she wants you to help her cause your frence
deathknell13 (7:55:37pm): liar! said dorris. she was most excited to get knighted and didnt want anyone to spoil it
deathknell13 (7:56:28pm): come with me, arguala said. he dove under water. the girls didnt follow. after a second or two, he reappeared.
deathknell13 (7:56:50pm): come! hurry! he said. we cant breath under water. said pricilla
deathknell13 (7:57:02pm): you can now. said the king
deathknell13 (7:59:27pm): reluctantly, the for girls followed him into the water. they could breath! they swam for some way. finally, arguala started up a long thin tunnel. it was amazing that he could fit. he seemed to shrink. charly! you'r getting skinnyer! yelled queenie. yes, yes. said arguala. the fountains are all magical so i can spy on the human queen.
deathknell13 (8:00:33pm): they emerged from the fountain and arguala told them to lye down on their stomachs so as not to be seen. they could hear a woman yelling. thats the human queen. said arguala.
deathknell13 (8:01:37pm): theylistened closely. when those for stupid french girls get knighted, they will have no choice but to follow my orders. france will be mine by midnight. hahaha(evil laugh)
deathknell13 (8:01:48pm): oh no! said dorris.
deathknell13 (8:02:00pm): to be continued

*dramtic music* DunDunDUNNN

okay. so yes. school starts tomorrow. tomorrow we enter an all new, slightly larger hell. oh sure, they all tell us it's going to be so much better than that little old hell. and it probably will be. but it's still going to suck.

okay.

i relize that in a few months i'm going to look back on this entry and laugh at my stupidity. (you're probably already laughing) but i'm going to spazz about how much high school is going to suck. and then when it doesn't i can remember this.. yeah. i guess.

okay. so. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. okay all done.

i have nothing to report.
i'll leave now.

you're friend,
:(shadow):

hero of the day: ella. she told me a story.

distract me
this entry is to distract me. because i severly need a distraction. um.. soo.. what can i talk about so i dont think.

snood. lol. i think i'm addicted to it. is it a problem that i see the snood screen everytime i close my eyes? i need a life. if anyone has any suggestions, just comment. cause i'd love some suggestions on how to get a life.

yea.
so.
continuing this distracting thing..

rachel told me a very funny story. if you know a funny story, comment.

alright. this fails.

bye.

your friend,
:(shadow):

survey and stuff
well. i havent updated in awhile. not alot has happened. i think my last update was warped tour? the only semi-major (not even) event was orientation. yes eli, the sky is blue. yeah. it was probably the lest helpful thing ever. but that's okay cause i got my schedual. which makes me very homicidal. i fucking hate it. i don;t need the fucking sped class. they put me into the extra help class. which means i only have time for ONE elective. my whole plan was to take BOTH foundations of art in 9th grade so by 10th grade i could take the REAL art classes like painting. but you need to have taken BOTH foundations of art to get into that. bitches. i want that class. :'(

anywho... i made a drawing that i really like. for once. i'm really proud of it and i wish i had a digital camera so i could post it.. but i dont so i can't. oh well.

yeah. i'm seriously running out of things to say. ermn.. i finished my day of the week mixes. 5 mixes all 35 minutes long. except thursday which is 38. but whatever.

emily was supposed to come over today and go shopping but it looks as though that isnt happening. i was going to get bright green nailpolish. cause i want it. but oh well. another day, perhaps.

oh yeah. i thought of something important that happened recently.
i almost died yesterday. yeah. it was kind of scary. i had a really bad asthma attack and i freaked out and completly overdosed. my mom tried to take me to the hospital. but i refused. i hate the fucking hospital. yeah. so it was pretty much awful. not going into details.

yeah. okay. now i'm really out of things to say. have fun reading my survey.

[last song you listened to] Ohio is for Lover -Hawthorne Heights
[Shoe size] converse size-4 which i think translates into regular 6
[Parents still together] yeah *coughunfortunetlycoughcough*
[Siblings] Willy, 26.
[Pets] Theo
FAVORITES
[Color] grey
[Number] 4
[Animal] elephant
[Drinks] diet coke
[Soda] see above
[Book] too many to say. maybe lovely bones
[Flower] rose. i guess.
DO YOU
[Color your hair?] Did once. going to again
[Twirl your hair?] .maybe.
[Have tattoos?] nope
[Have Piercings?] i wish
[Cheat on tests/homework?] never tests..
[Drink/Smoke?] nope. and proud of it.
[Like roller coasters?] FUCK NO.
[Wish you could live somewhere else?] I'd love to live in Manhatten, but i really like Amherst
[Want more piercings?] yes i do
[Like cleaning?] no
[Write in cursive or print?] print
[Own a web cam?] nope
[Know how to drive?] i start in exactly a month
[Own a cell phone?] yeah
[Ever get off the damn computer?] sometimes
HAVE U EVER
[Been in a fist fight?] sort of
[Considered a life of crime?] nope. it requires too much organization
[Considered being a hooker?] ..maybe...*shifty eyes*
[Lied to someone?] .maybe. yes. hasn't everyone?
[Been in love?] i wouldn't know.
[Made out with JUST a friend?] no
[Been in lust?] i guess
[Used someone] probably
[Been used?] probably
[Been cheated on?] i dont know. you tell me.
[Kicked someone in the nuts?] no. too mean.
[Stolen anything?] yes
[Held a gun] no and it's a life goal never to. unless it's going to kill me.
CURRENTS
[Current clothing] cape cod sweatshirt. old ripped jeans. socks.
[Current mood] quite bored
[Current taste] doublemint gum
[What you currently smell like] shampoo and detergent.
[Current hair] up in a clippy thing.
[Current thing I ought to be doing] cleaning my room or shopping with emily
[Current cd in stereo] catalyst- New Found Glory
[Last book you read] i'm working on Life of Pi. last finished book: Target
[Last movie you saw] the united states of Leland. i highly reccomend it
[Last thing you ate] a bagel
[Last person you talked to on the phone] murphkly
[Do drugs?] no.
[Believe there is life on other planets?] it's not really something you believe. there either is or there isn't. i'll wait until there's proof to take a side.
[Remember your first love?] depends on whether or not it was really love
[Still love him/her?] no.
[Read the newspaper?] sometimes.
[Have any gay or lesbian friends?] yeah
[Believe in miracles?] no. i believe in bizarre coincidences that make things better
[Do well in school?] i don't do badly..
[Wear hats] yes.
[Hate yourself?] of course
[Have an obsession?] i suppose
[Collect anything?] bouncy balls (with emily squared)
[Have a best friend?] yep
[Close friends?] yeah
[Like your handwriting?] sometimes. it has a tendency to change
[Care about looks] no. *shifty eyes* okay, yes. but i'm not proud of it
LOVE LIFE
[First crush] heh. *coughcaldwellcoughcough*
[First kiss] liam
[Do you believe in love at first sight?] no
[Do you believe in "the one?"] no
[Are you a tease?] no
[Too shy to make the first move?] yeah
ARE U A
[Daydreamer] yeah
[Bitch/Asshole] yes
[sarcastic] *said sarcasticly* me? never.
[Angel] hell no
[Devil] not entirly.
[Shy] umm.. yes.
[Talkative] sometimes. a lot. when i know people.


okay. so ends the survey, it's completly okay if you didn't actually read it. okay. i guess i'm done with this update.

you're friend,
:(shadow):

Warped Tour
guess what? drama sucks and i'm going to ignore it.

let us focus on yesterday.
I WENT TO WARPED TOUR AND IT FUCKING ROCKED MY SOCKS!
thats what i have to say.
story of the year. AH! :) and we met the lead singer. met him. yay us. and they were hot live. so fucking amazing. i love them. and we were crammed between 2 mosh pits. so close to everyone we could hardly breathe. it was awesome. especially when everyone jumped. it was hot. and then this fucking crowd surfer landed on my head and knocked my glasses off. and then they got smushed and i lost the lense. oh well. it sucks a bit. it was still a great experience.

and then there was hawthorne heights. i gotta say i love 'em. so fucking amazing. and they were good live. and the mosh pit wasnt as painful. it was basically sweet. except that we were suppoosed to be looking for crazy. so we were a bit distracted. but it was okay, because it was still fucking amazing.

and then there was relient k. i really only know sadie hawkins dance byt them, so when i heard that song i ran screaming over to the stage. Bigelow and i were having a blast just kinda jumping around and being happy. i was crazily excited because i was thinking "omg it's relient k" ans she was just happy. then they started playing a different song and she recognized it screamed "OMG it's relient k!!!" i was like.."yeah..duh.." and it was funny.

and yeah. Fall Out Boy were there, but we missed them because i had to pee. it sucked. we could still hear them and they were pretty good, but not as great live as some of the others. The Offspring were there, but i gotta say, i'm not that big on them.. And we missed mxpx. which sucked. And there was some band playing the garnier fructise song.. and this really awful reggae band thing.. yeah. and about a million others.

and here's the most horrible thing ever - WE HAD TO LEAVE AS SOON AS MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE TOOK STAGE.
i almost cried. they are my heroes. atleast i ssaw them once, at the greenday concert.. but still... my heroes..and we had to leave.. and we were still like an hour late meeting emily's mom. she flipped out.

but it was all worth it because it was so fucking amazing. i can't wait to go back next year.

your friend,
:(shadow):

Stairway To Heaven

There’s a lady who’s sure
All that glitters is gold
And she’s buying a stairway to heaven.
When she gets there she knows
If the stores are all closed
With a word she can get what she came for.
Ooh, ooh, and she’s buying a stairway to heaven.
There’s a sign on the wall
But she wants to be sure
’cause you know sometimes words have two meanings.
In a tree by the brook
There’s a songbird who sings,
Sometimes all of our thoughts are misgiven.
Ooh, it makes me wonder,
Ooh, it makes me wonder.
There’s a feeling I get
When I look to the west,
And my spirit is crying for leaving.
In my thoughts I have seen
Rings of smoke through the trees,
And the voices of those who standing looking.
Ooh, it makes me wonder,
Ooh, it really makes me wonder.
And it’s whispered that soon
If we all call the tune
Then the piper will lead us to reason.
And a new day will dawn
For those who stand long
And the forests will echo with laughter.
If there’s a bustle in your hedgerow
Don’t be alarmed now,
It’s just a spring clean for the may queen.
Yes, there are two paths you can go by
But in the long run
There’s still time to change the road you’re on.
And it makes me wonder.
Your head is humming and it won’t go
In case you don’t know,
The piper’s calling you to join him,
Dear lady, can you hear the wind blow,
And did you know
Your stairway lies on the whispering wind.
And as we wind on down the road
Our shadows taller than our soul.
There walks a lady we all know
Who shines white light and wants to show
How ev’rything still turns to gold.
And if you listen very hard
The tune will come to you at last.
When all are one and one is all
To be a rock and not to roll.
And she’s buying a stairway to heaven.


the fight between yeaterday and me was destined to be a short-lived spectacle. i don't want to go into details because it's taken until now (about 2am) to be able to write this.
these past few days have been basically hell.

i'd write more but i odnt want to.

buhbyezes.

your friend,
:(shadow):

this is an update.
so i got bck from camp on friday. this is the first chance i've had to update.

so camp was flippin awesome (sorry, i just watched napolean dynamite, bear with me until the 'napolean language' wears off)
yeah. at first camp was awful and all i wanted was to come home but that wore off soon enough once emily and i made a friend. michealle kelly you're my hero!
jasmine and hope were there, so we tried to hang out with them but that basically failed. oh well. the weren't the only amherstians. lindsay and kinga were there too. glad we got to know lindsay better. also, gene noah and sam were there.sam left before i got to know him and noah didnt really talk to me. but gene was nice, we had a few conversations. about fishing.

I LEARNED HOW TO FISH! GO ME!

yeah. and then we got to know chloe (jordyn). shes awesome. she never stops singing, which would be a problem, but she isnt bad, so its alright. yeah.
and for the second week, jamie (girl jamie) ashley and chelsea showed up. jamie is wicked cool, shes from NH or something. yeah, shes really nice and she's marrying fivle so she can have his lst name. it has a 'z' in it. ashley's cool (i wish i knew more adjectives). yeah. she slept in he bunk across from mine. she's a bit obbsessed with the buttercup baby song. (but then again, aren't we all?)
i dont think i ever talked to chelsea.. oh wait..once..she knew that the evil king's advisor in aladdin was jafar...

and then of course there's michelle (not my hero, different michelle, michelle durant) and joe cool. let's just say that there was quite a bit of 'fratinization' between the two of them...

[right so i just spaced out for about an hour reading other people's journals before realizing that i have one of my own to update.]
so without any further ado: camp quotes

i'm Jesus, bitch. I'm gonna smite your ass!

-i don't let anyone near my head with sharp objects.
-you let us near your head with sharp objects last year. *awkward pause* unless you didn't know about that *awkward silence*

did she just say "wee wee"?

i lost my virginity to a chicken nugget.

Do old ladies still play bingo, or is that, like, not cool anymore?

At least my elbows don't look like ears!

Oh. Shit, i have to go back to the cabin. I forgot my castle.

***

there were like a thousand more, but i didnt write them down so they're all gone. yeah.

so yeah. friday night nothing happened, went to bed at like 9 cause i was so frikkin tired.
saturday waited around all day for emily to call me. she never did. i was pissed, but now its all good.
sunday i went to bigelow's for like 10 minutes ten i got kicked out. then ally came over but i wasnt a very good host, i was completly lost in the harry potter book. so yeah, sorry ally.
monday i woke up sick. then i called emily and she was also sick, so i went to her house and we sat on her couch and watched 11-12 episodes of the OC....in a row. god we're pathetic. oh well.
on tuesday (today) i was supposed to have an orthodontist appt. but i convinced my dad i was too sick to go. coughihaventwornmyretainerfor2weekscoughcough. i actually was too sick to go, though. yeah. then laura called and since she was just sitting at home bored and i hadnt seen her in awhile, she came over and we watched moulin rouge (best movie ever) and napolean dynamite (the most overrated movie ever). yeah. then she left and here i am.

i feel like i should keep talking but i'm sure you're sick of reading and i've got nothing left to say..so i'm leaving.

bye.

:(shadow):

the second half of this update
okay! wow!
sorry to stop suddenly in the middle of an update (again) but had t go to the movies with emily po, ella, nia, julia f, and um...oh yeah eli. we saw batman. i am totally batman, bitches. i kick all your asses.

so where was i? right

thursday: crap weather. another camp fire. much more sucsessfull, except all the fucking shrimp were crawling around in the sand and hallie had to kill the big scary ones. *mock southern accent* my hero!

john and bobby never showed on thursday. they were greatly missed, but don't tell them. yeah.. we got stood up. but oh well.. they missed the EXPLOSION! yeah, if you know me (especially sarah) i do not enjo fire. or explosives. and anything of that sort. it scares me.. so we had the lighter..and hallie really wanted to throw it in..she tried to resist..but..it..er...slipped....into the fire. well, we watched it burn for about a minute. emily was lying down behind us. i was freaking out cause i had no idea what it was going to do. pam like "yeah..it's probably going to explode" so we watch it for awhile and then..

-BOOOOM-

it was like the frikin atom bomb. yeah. big explosion. the forced knocked us about 3 feet back. onto emily. it was so fucking awesome though, because as we fell the fire washed over our bodies just like in those hilariously predictable action movies. no one had the fucking decency to say "hey henri! your pants are on fire!" so i walked around with glowing embers on my pants for a few minutes. after we fell we picked ourselves up and proceded to scream for about 10 minutes straight. what fun.

moving along to friday: weather still sucky. my dad waned to leave but we refused. while i was upstairs reading and being antisocial, bigelow and hallie invented "gopher-ing" which involves running up john and bobby's stairs, but i wont go into detail. i eventually came down and had a nice day. we went swimming. HOLY FUCK was that water cold. i could have shot myself. it was that cold... (really, if you think about it, shooting oneself is not really a measure of temperature, but it seemed the apropriate thing to say). yeah. i walked out to the dock and sat there until john and emily forced me in. not fun. then i swam back to the dock. then the tide got really high and john carried me back to shore. cause i suck at swimming. how did hallie describe that kid? chivalrous.
anyways. no campfire friday night. we tried, but it was too damp. we had fun anyways. it's kind of funny how much heat john and bobby have.. we were sitting around freezing our asses off but as soon as the guys arrive we're able to stand up and we're warm. weird.
yeah so that night was lots of fun. hallie and bobby went off to do god knows what. pam emily john and i just kinds of sat aroubd starring at the stars. or we would have had there been any stars visible. emily taught john how to make out. sort of. yeah. it was interesting.

saturday: woke up and relized it was cleaning say. went immediatly back to sleep. guilty concience got me up and went to get breakfast then clean. then emily and i sat down. we had told john to come up to our cabing in the morning to say goodbye. emily said "do you think he'll actually come?" i said "probably not" and a second later we saw him at the door. so we went to the beach and chilled for awhile. then we had to go. i wrote all of our information on john's hand. (phone#, sn, email, that stuff) i hope he didnt get it wet.
yeah. we almost were able to get john in the ccar, but then we had to get out and say good bye to the cousins. then we drove home.
as soon as we got home kevin and nhoo (my uncle and his thai wife who is 30 years younger than him) were there. mom took emily and me out to get food. i had the best grilled cheese sandwich of my life. maybe. then emily left and i went online to start updating. then i called emily m and she invited me to the movies. so i went.

sunday: woke up at emily m's. heh. :/ yeah. that. and then we ate an amzing breakfast. i *heart* french toast. then emily introduced us to the oc. i cant believe i've missed that experience. and then i went home. i brought nia. we sat around watching tv all day. excpet when we heard music that sounded suspicously like an ice cream truck. we ran outside and down the street. we saw no truck. and then! there it was! i didnt even know there was one around here. i got a resses thingy. it was good. then back home for more lazing around doing nothing. what fun.

monday: the fourth. nia and i lazed around a bit. then went to blockbuster and got addams family movie and priscilla, queen on the desert. amazing movies. bigelow came over. we watched addams family then she went and got her ears pierced. (without me -_-)
then the other emily came over and brought the oc. we watched that for a long time. then made ourselves pretty and went to the fireworks.
fireworks..well... hmm... dont want to get into that. let's just say there was making out (not me, unfourtunetly), failed missions, lost friends, and a small fight. also, a parking lot that's hard to get to, and a creepy man.

today, tuesday: woke up and walked nia half way to the bus stop. emily ella and lisa came over. then we picked up julia and went to the mall. had a semi good time. julia and i set up a talk show in the middle of the home decor ailse in taget. lots of fun. after the mall (i hate saying we went to the mall, it sounds so fucking ditzy) ella lisa and i went to sally's. we watched blake, jackson, and some.other.kid's spanish soap opera. it was nice. i'm ver curios about what happens next to silvia.
yeah. then home. ella and lisa got picked up. i lazed around then came up here to get some pictures off the computer, then relized i was in despreate need of an update.

that's it for now, i guess.

-batman
a.k.a
-*henri*-
a.k.a

:(shadow):

half an update
Do You Believe in Magic Lyrics

Do you believe in magic in a young girl's heart
How the music can free her, whenever it starts
And it's magic, if the music is groovy
It makes you feel happy like an old-time movie
I'll tell you about the magic, and it'll free your soul
But it's like trying to tell a stranger 'bout rock and roll

If you believe in magic don't bother to choose
If it's jug band music or rhythm and blues
Just go and listen it'll start with a smile
It won't wipe off your face no matter how hard you try
Your feet start tapping and you can't seem to find
How you got there, so just blow your mind

If you believe in magic, come along with me
We'll dance until morning 'til there's just you and me
And maybe, if the music is right
I'll meet you tomorrow, sort of late at night
And we'll go dancing, baby, then you'll see
How the magic's in the music and the music's in me

Yeah, do you believe in magic
Yeah, believe in the magic of a young girl's soul
Believe in the magic of rock and roll
Believe in the magic that can set you free
Ohh, talking 'bout magic

Do you believe like I believe Do you believe in magic
Do you believe like I believe Do you believe, believer
Do you believe like I believe Do you believe in magic
[Fade]



^that song is my new obbsession. that and scarborough fair. which, btw, is originally by simon and garfunkle, thank you very much. i can like simon and garfunkle if i want to. dont laugh at me.

so i havent updated in a long time. um.. last i was talking about africa. well, we never really went to africa, so yeah. but we didnt go out either. anyways. that was forever ago so i dont really feel like talking about it.

the chorus trip was also a while ago. it was pretty awesome even though bigelow didn't stick to the "no drama" rule. that's the problem with unspoken rules. not everyone automatically knows them. and this was more of a mindset, anyway..

okay, so skipping ahead to today: it was pretty nice. it was amazing weather. really warm.and we didnt have anything to do in chorus so the band kids came and chlled with us and liam PINKY PROMISED to watch moulan. yay. i can't wait.

i'll finish this later.

buhbye

-shadow-

*Let's give a round of applause for the most awkward kid on Earth!*
Dancing Through Sunday

Will you join me in this dance, this dance of misery
Cradled in imposs... impossibility?
Swooning, I am swept away
Swept off my feet, with step by step by step
We take the lead as drop by drop, then we bleed
Oh, we dance in misery
(And we dance on, and we dance on)
Oh, we dance in misery
(All lost in the arms of our misery, oh)
Oh, we dance in misery
(And we dance on, and we dance on)
Swept off our feet by our misery, we're swept into the shadows

Will you lend yourself to beauty that will horrify?
Let me hide within your black, the still inside your eyes
Deafened, caught within a cry
So sensual, as step by step by step, I seperate
As breath to breath, as I... suffocate

(Oh, we dance in misery)
And we dance on, and we dance on
(Oh, we dance in misery)
All lost in the arms of our misery, oh
(Oh, we dance in misery)
And we dance on, and we dance on
Swept off our feet by our misery, we're swept into the shadows

So who will follow? Who is the lead?
I know I'll leave a stain, because I bleed
As we dance, we all dance
We all... have no chance in this horrid romance

(Oh, we dance in misery)
And we dance on, and we dance on
(Oh, we dance in misery)
All lost in the arms of our misery, oh
(Oh, we dance in misery)
And we dance on, and we dance on
Swept off our feet by our misery, we're swept into the shadows
Swept off our feet by our misery, we're swept into the shadows
-AFI


°Let's give another round of applause for this most awkward kid on Earth°

*bows*
thank you, thank you very much.
it's an honor to win a worthless award such as this. But really, there's so many people i'd like to thank for this incredible experience. My mom, for always being there (well, she had to, we live in the same house...) My dad...well, not my dad. My dog, Theo, without whom i wouldnt have a password to my school account.

Also, I'd like to thank Ella for helping me practice doing dumb things that could be considered awkward, like walking into doors. And OF COURSE I need to thank Ms. Bonifaz, because without her class, i wouldnt have to be awkward in play form while being videotaped. Let's just say Ms. B- "You're a cad!"

And last, but certainly not least, I'd like to thank Liam ffor causing me to be very, very awkward... Hmm... can't seem to not make a fool of myself around this kid...And DO NOT go "AWwww" because i know that's exactly what you're thinking. all of you.

So to wrap this speech up (in shiney blue paper), I really appriciate being voted "Most Awkward." It truly is an honor. I couldnt ask for a more rewarding prize (and even if I did, I'd be turned down). Thank You ALL!! Goodnight, Chicago!


awkward

adj 1: causing inconvenience; "they arrived at an awkward time" 2: lacking grace or skill in manner or movement or performance; "an awkward dancer"; "an awkward gesture"

. . . . . . . . . . . .
ERGH!
The stupid Africa thing completly ruined my weekend plans! I actually made plans! Real plans! in ADVANCE! more than an hour in advance...and now i can't go. Stupid killing people in Africa. ergh.

Next weekend...i guess..

but atleast this weekend is BOSTON. yay boston!

full weekend
HAPPY (late) BIRTHDAY ROSE!

So anyways.. i'm not going to put lyrics in here right now because i dont really feel like it. so there.
i just took this thingy in rose's livejournal.. and yeah..you should all take it cause that would make me happy.

[1] Who are you?
[2] Are we friends?
[3] When and how did we meet?
[4] How have I affected you?
[5] What do you think of me?
[6] What's the fondest memory you have of me?
[7] How long do you think we will be friends or enemies?
[*] Do you love me?
[9] Have I ever hurt you?
[10] Would you hug me?
[11] Would you kiss me?
[12] Would you fuck me?
[13] Are we close?
[14] Emotionally, what stands out?
[15] Do you wish I was cooler?
[16] On a scale of 1-10, how nice am I?
[17] Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
[18] Am I loveable?
[19] How long have you known me?
[20] Describe me in one word.
[21] What was your first impression?
[22] Do you still think that way about me now?
[23] What do you think my weakness is?
[24] Do you think I'll get married?
[25] What about me makes you happy?
[26] What about me makes you sad?
[27] What reminds you of me?
[28] What's something you would change about me?
[29] How well do you know me?
[30] Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
[31] Do you think I would kill someone?
[32] Have you ever had a crush on me?
[33] Are you going to put this on your journal and see what I say about you?



So this weekend was pretty damn awesome! yup it was.

Friday: emily came over and we watched Office Space. (um..i believe you have my stapler)..then it was thundering and lightning(ing) and we had to walk the dog and i was freaking out like crazy. so we turned around and went home. atleast emily was dry cause she was dressed like a "1930's elementary school teacher." then we went to the basement. with a red lightbulb cause red lightbulbs rock. then emily left. and i fell asleep.

Saturday: woke up at 1..then started freaking out cause i thought NPAD was at 12..then i remembered it started at 4 and i calmed down. walkd around my house aimlessly for 3 hours then went to NPAD. yay. i guess... i mean, it was fun and all.. but it really pointed out how much of a social outcast i am.. emily, too, sort of. I got ******* so now i have to get [him or her] a present. shouldnt be too hard.
after NPAD i went to bigelow's house just cause i didnt feel like staying at nikki's (no offense or anything). surprisingly, stayed the night... which was a change, since her parents never say yes.. but anyways... we watched the notebook then went to sleep

when we woke up on

Sunday: bigelow woke me up at 430 or something by moving. then i fell asleep again. then she woke me up at 830 by calling colin. yeah. then we went downstairs. and then 17million kids came over.
and by 17million i mean 7.
7 little kids! ah! but Pari and Paris are adorable. we had fun. cool little kids. paris hated emily but likes me. yeah
then i was like "hm..im supposed to go to ellas tonight." and emily gave me a sad face cause she didnt want to be left with pari. so we called ella and ella came over. then we went swimming. then we took showers. then lisa came over. lisa french braided our hair. :)
yeah. so la di da. then it was time for pari to go to bed. and she was sleeping in the same room as us, so we had to pretend to sleep so she would sleep. well it was taking forever for her to fall asleep so she finally moved into a different room. then we were free to be awake
we were such typical girls having a "slumber party" its not even funny. and let me tell you: girl talk is as amazing as it sounds. *said in valley girl voice* we talked about cool stuff like boys and hair! *switches back to normal voice* and yeah. we were gonna go out on the roof and watch the sun rise but emily turned off the alarm because i yelled at her, though i never woke up.


*takes deep breath* this is a long entry


Monday: woke up. ate breakfast. chilled. ella left. lisa left. emily and i went on the roof. im alergic to sun. im all hivey now. its gross. but yeah. yay sunbathing..i guess.. even though it killed me. so yeah, we basically chilled on the roof all day. then i went home and cleaned. and i ate a cookie. i like cookies. watched romy and michelle's high school reunion like the true loser that i am.

i could say a lot more, but im soo sick of typing and i bet you're sick of reading, if there's anyone still reading this..

well, goodbye.. i guess.. hmm...

-shadow-

Student Aid was Good, But it held no comparison to NIA in THE LAST UNICORN
Number Five With A Bullet

we're gonna die like this you know
miserable and old
really gotta hand it to you
really gotta hand it to you
are you positive
absolutely sure
well just get dressed, don't do this
just get dressed, don't do this

spend the night lit listening to miles davis
you said it makes you want to fall in love
or be smart enough to keep your distance
you can't decide, you can't decide

we're gonna die like this you know
miserable and old
really gotta hand it to you
really gotta hand it to you
(well just so you know)
are you positive
(when we get home)
absolutely sure
(we're through)
well just get dressed, don't do this
(we're through)
just get dressed, don't do this

it's a long way back south
(to where i belong)
well you've been there once or twice
(and you still don't like it)
i say you just never gave it a chance
(well give me a chance, give me a chance)
besides did you ever stop to think
that we could keep this up living like theives
(but you can't decide)
you can't decide
(no you can't decide)
well you can't decide

we're gonna die like this you know
(we're gonna die like this)
miserable and old
(miserable and old)
really gotta hand it to you
(miserable and old)
really gotta hand it to you
(well just so you know)
are you positive
(when we get home)
absolutely sure
(we're through)
well just get dressed, don't do this
(we're through)
just get dressed, don't do this

are you positive, absolutely sure
are you positive

we're gonna die like this you know
miserable and old
really gotta hand it to you
really gotta hand it to you

well just so you know
(we're gonna die like this you know)
when we get home
(miserable and old)
we're through
(really gotta hand it to you)
we're through
(really gotta hand it to you)

just so you know
(are you positive)
when we get home
(aboslutely sure)
we're through
(just get dressed don't do this)
we're through
(just get dressed don't do this)

well just so you know
(we're gonna die like this you know)
when we get home
(miserable and old)
we're through
(we'regonna die like this, miserable and old)
we're through
(miserable and old)
well just so you know
(we're gonna die like this you know)
when we get home
(miserable and old)
we're through
(we're gonna die like this, miserable and old)
we're through

-TBS


NIA ROCKS MY SOCKS! I LOVE YOU! YOU'RE AWESOME.

"has anyone here seen kelly? can you here me now? good"

yeah. yay last unicorn
nia honey mikey abe all rock! (and so does everyone else who's name i either cant spell or cant remember)
yeah

so student aid! also amazing!
Kayla, wow. you were friggin hilarious!!

and Camille and Molly and Gracie's Band was amazing.
as was David Eddy's

um, in my opinion, Jump Lundon was horrible. sorry if you enjoyed them, (or are them). Max was good, though. (even though you hate me). maybe they'd be good if they were all together, but it sounded like they were each playing a different song and put together it was mud. oh well.

Glynis and Lena were intimidating... umm..yeah..in a good way... heh.. "this board hates us *throws off to the side*" ..um...good job.. yeah.

Thu, you had nothing to worry about, you were great.

oh yes, and nikki's music video was M•AZING!!!! yeah. no need to explain it. it was great.

so student aid was good. and it was cool to hang out with lisa, dont get a chance to do that often.

so student aid was friday.
the last unicorn was saturday. then i slept over at emily's. we almost had a brat pack marathon, but fell asleep half way through st. elmo's fire. didnt even get to breakfast club, the best movie of the 80's. woke up in the morning (without being yelled at, might i add) and watched my neighbor totoro, and i have decided that whatsherface

oh, and i got new shoes on saturday.

and today, sunday, i hung out with my mom. um...yeah. i went shopping with my mom, the definition of loserdom. but i got cool stuff and didnt have to pay, so it was all good.

yeah.

that's my life.. *sigh*

goodnight, i guess...

-shadow-