woah...dude...

Easier To Run

It's easier to run
Replacing this pain with something numb
It’s so much easier to go
Then face all this pain here all alone

Something has been taken
from deep inside of me
A secret I’ve kept locked away
No one could never see
Wounds so deep they never show
They never go away
Like moving pictures in my head
For years and years they've played


If I could change I would
Take back the pain I would
Retrace every wrong move that I made I would
If I could
Stand up and take the blame I would
If I could take all the shame to the grave I would
If I could change I would
Take back the pain I would
Retrace every wrong move that I made I would
If I could
Stand up and take the blame I would
I would take all the shame to the grave


It's easier to run
Replacing this pain with something numb
It’s so much easier to go
Then face all this pain here all alone

Sometimes I remember
The darkness of my past
Bringing back these memories
I wish I didn’t have
Sometimes I think of letting go
And never looking back
And never moving forward so
There would never be a past


If I could change I would
Take back the pain I would
Retrace every wrong move that I made I would
If I could
Stand up and take the blame I would
If I could take all the shame into the grave I would
If I could change I would
Take back the pain I would
Retrace every wrong move that I made I would
If I could stand up and take the blame I would
I would take all the shame to the grave

Just washing it aside
All of the helplessness inside
Pretending I don’t feel misplaced
It’s so much simpler than change


It's easier to run
Replacing this pain with something numb
It’s so much easier to go
Then face all this pain here all alone

It's easier to run

If I could change I would
Take back the pain I would
Retrace every wrong move that I made

It's easier to go

If I could change I would
Take back the pain I would
Retrace every wrong move that I made I would
If I could
Stand up and take the blame I would
I would take all the shame
To the grave

-Linkin Park


Ok...dude...

scary stuff....

Ok... it happened...again...but more then last time... and it was like...scary.. then Emily came... and it was like...woah...dude... this would have worked... but i didnt finish... so it isnt gonna work... but yeah...

its all emily's fault...
damn her...

Heres the Good News. No, I lied. t's not good news. but its not bad news. its just...news.. yeah. I'm over my *person* finally. and forever. I hope..

woah...dude...

i dunno.

I Miss You

(I miss you miss you)

Hello there the angel from my nightmare
The shadow in the background of the morgue
The unsuspecting victim of darkness in the valley
We can live like Jack and Sally if we want
Where you can always find me
And we'll have Halloween on Christmas
And in the night we'll wish this never ends
We'll wish this never ends

(I miss you I miss you)
(I miss you I miss you)

Where are you and I'm so sorry
I cannot sleep I cannot dream tonight
I need somebody and always
This sick strange darkness
Comes creeping on so haunting every time
And as I stared I counted
Webs from all the spiders
Catching things and eating their insides
Like indecision to call you
and hear your voice of treason
Will you come home and stop this pain tonight
Stop this pain tonight

Don't waste your time on me you're already
The voice inside my head (I miss you miss you)
Don't waste your time on me you're already
The voice inside my head (I miss you miss you)

Don't waste your time on me you're already
The voice inside my head (I miss you miss you)
Don't waste your time on me you're already
The voice inside my head (I miss you miss you)
Don't waste your time on me you're already
The voice inside my head (I miss you miss you)
Don't waste your time on me you're already
The voice inside my head (I miss you miss you)

I miss you (miss you miss you)
I miss you (miss you miss you)
I miss you (miss you miss you)
I miss you (miss you miss you)
(I miss you miss you)

-Blink 182


Ok, I've been stuck at home for a week so far and I already hate my parents. So yeah, they're monitering everything I do. It's crazy.

My parents have this crazy idea that I'm anorexic. They're all like, 'you gotta eat more' and 'your getting soooo skinny'. I'm just like ..no.. Ok so, my mom called this lady and I hafta go to this nutrition meeting thingy. its all completly bull shit, cuz I'm soooo not anorexic.

Also, if I dont make honor roll, my parents are threatening to transfer me. They're excuse is grades and that I'm not learning anything, but yeah. I'm thinkin that the real reson for making me transfer would be to keep me away from Emily and Trey (for the record, my parents offically 'dissaprove' of you guys).

I'm seriously thinking of getting out of this shithole.

..and I'm NOT anorexic!!!!

There are no words in the human language to describe what I'm feeling now.

There are No words in the Human Language that can describe what I'm feeling now. Not even Hatred or Loathing. I can't express what I'm feeling towards my Dad.

I screwed up. I know that. He doesnt need to look disgusted everytime he sees me. He doesnt need to say that everything that I've done up until this point has failed. He doesnt need to tell me that I'm a failure. He doesnt need to insist on reading my english homework, then tell me how much better it could be. He doesnt need to tell me I'm a worthless, lazy lump. But he does. And he's right.

I wont be able to talk online for a while. Im grounded for as many as four months.

And Emily wont be there to stop me anymore.


I hope this is goodbye.

eh..
eh..

so...

We havent gotten caught yet, but we're going to. damn that was stupid... but i dont regret it at all... maybe just a little. it was awesome though.

Sorry. it takes me awhile to get over things... I'll probably still be talking about friday until the next friday the 13th. w,e.

All i hafta say is...
IS TOO!!!!


oh yeah. and

HAPPY BIRTHDAY EMILY!!!!

not much else.

zaijian

eh..

We're gonna die...
Session

(no lyrics)

- Linkin Park

Ok, by now you all know about today (friday), unless you were too stupid to IM me or Emily or Trey... If you were, then you missed out. Ok, so..we didnt go too school. Actually, we did, but we left after that african american history assembly (the drill team was pretty skilled)... but yeah. we chilled in town, then we went to Fort River.

Yeah. now were at my house, and we're kinda spazzing out a lot... The school didnt call, but i swear to (no) god that the Sergeant knows... He freaked out that i didnt have my report card ( i told hm that i had a library book out), he was all like "u did this on purpose to hide ur bad grades"... im like..no...

so blah blah blah...

today was probably the runner-up stupidest thing ive ever done (dont ask what the 'winner' is..) and yeah... So im scared. The sergeant is going to kill me.

Help?

uhh...
Flavor of the Weak

she paints her nails and she don't know
he's got her best friend on the phone
she'll wash her hair
his dirty clothes are all he gives to her
and he's got posters on the wall
of all the girls he wished she was
and he's means everything to her

[chorus:]
her boyfriend, he don't know
anything about her
he's too stoned, Nintendo
i wish that i could make her see
she's just the flavor of the weak

it's friday night and she's all alone
he's a million a miles away
she's dressed to kill
the tv's on
he's connected to the sound
and he's got pictures on the wall
of all the girls he's loved before
and she knows all his favorite songs

[repeat chorus]

yeah!

her boyfriend, he don't know
anything about her
he's too stoned, he's too stoned
he's too stoned, he's too stoned

[repeat chorus]

yeah she's the flavor of the weak
she makes me weak

-American Hi-Fi


Yeah, life is blah. nothing unusual, really. Report card come tomorrow, at least thats what they say... Hard to tell, really. They were supposed to come on last Monday...then last Friday, then this Wednesday... tomorrow is Friday... nd then its vacation...

But yeah... umm.. That fuckin math notebook check thingy is due tomorrow, and i dont have any of the assingments done. That english essay is due tomorrow, so I should probably start it...or something...

If you still dont know whats happening tomorrow, please IM me or Emily M or Trey... because it would be really cool if you came... I'll be there if I can get a couple of favors... Im kinda back and forth on the whole thing, but i want to go... I really do...

Mr. Price Sucks. A lot.

lol.
hehe billy.

because life sucks...
In The End

(It starts with)
One thing / I don’t know why
It doesn’t even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind / I designed this rhyme
To explain in due time
All I know
time is a valuable thing
Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings
Watch it count down to the end of the day
The clock ticks life away
It’s so unreal
Didn’t look out below
Watch the time go right out the window
Trying to hold on / but didn’t even know
Wasted it all just to
Watch you go
I kept everything inside and even though I tried / it all fell apart
What it meant to me / will eventually / be a memory / of a time when I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
One thing / I don’t know why
It doesn’t even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind / I designed this rhyme
To remind myself how
I tried so hard
In spite of the way you were mocking me
Acting like I was part of your property
Remembering all the times you fought with me
I’m surprised it got so (far)
Things aren’t the way they were before
You wouldn’t even recognize me anymore
Not that you knew me back then
But it all comes back to me In the end
You kept everything inside and even though I tried / it all fell apart
What it meant to me
will eventually / be a memory / of a time when I
I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter
I’ve put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
And for all this
There’s only one thing you should know
I’ve put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
And for all this
There’s only one thing you should know
I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter

-Linkin Park


Yeah, so... how does one person know that something's wrong after talking to me for like, a minute...and Mom and the Sergeant havent figured it out yet... Yeah, they're great parents...suure...

Um, anyway... Report Cards come out tomorrow...watch me fail... My grades determine if im gonna go with everybosy on friday or not... Again, if you dont know what I'm talking about, IM me or *the better* Emily (that'd b Emily Murphy)... but yeah... Im back and forth about the whole thing, but i think i want to go more than i dont... hehe...



yeah


heres 2 friday the 13th! taking some happiness for us...
just because life sucks...

Valentines Day approaches
Bloody Valentine

Oh, my love
Please don't cry
I'll wash my bloody hands and
We'll start a new life

I ripped out
His throat
And called you on the telephone
To take off
My disguise
Just in time to hear you cry
You mourn the death of your bloody valentine
The night he died
You mourn the death of your bloody valentine
One last time

Singin'...

Oh, my love
Please don't cry
I'll wash my bloody hands and
We'll start a new life
I don't know much at all
I don't know wrong from right
All I know is that I love you tonight

There was
Police and
Flashing lights
The rain came down so hard that night and the
Headlines read
A lover died
No tell-tale heart was left to find when you...

You mourn the death of your bloody valentine
The night he died
You mourn the death of your bloody valentine
One last time

Singin'...

Oh, my love
Please don't cry
I'll wash my bloody hands and
We'll start a new life
I don't know much at all
I don't know wrong from right
All I know is that I love you tonight

Tonight

He dropped you off, I followed him home
Then I, I stood outside his bedroom window
Standing over him, he begged me not to do
What I knew I had to do cause I'm so in love with you

Oh, my love
Please don't cry
I'll wash my bloody hands and
We'll start a new life
I don't know much at all
I don't know wrong from right
All I know is that I love you tonight
Tonight

-Good Charlotte


So yeah, Valentines day is coming. Love is the worst part of life. It's not beautiful or anything like that. Love is painful. Love is one of thoses things that never works out for people like me. It makes people do crazy things, like turn against their best friends. Yeah. Love hurts.

Adam and Eve
Numb

I'm tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless
Lost under the surface
I don't know what you're expecting of me
Put under the pressure
Of walking in your shoes

[Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow]
Every step that I take is another mistake to you

I've
Become so numb
I can't feel you there
Become so tired
So much more aware
I'm becoming this
All I want to do
Is be more like me
And be less like you

Can't you see that you're smothering me
Holding too tightly
Afraid to lose control
'Cause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart right in front of you

[Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow]
Every step that I take is
Another mistake to you
[Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow]
And every second I waste
Is more than I can take


And I know
I may end up failing too
But I know
You were just like me
With someone dissapointed in you

-Linkin Park


fReAkFrOmHeLl540: if the whole adam nd eve thingy was true...someone shoulda shot god.
fReAkFrOmHeLl540: really.
LeVeL27FREAK55: wish we had a time machine and a pistol


Yeah, so far, only 3 people are gonna go...so if you know what I'm talking about, and your not going, WHY NOT?! If you have no idea what I'm talking about, IM me. If you know what I'm talking about, and your going, g4u. If you know what I'm talking about and are still deciding, take your time, but dont take too much time... If your not on team blue, then none of this concerns you.

yeah...anyway...

Random Memories
Good Riddance (Time Of Your Life)

Another turning point a fork stuck in the road
Time grabs you by the wrist directs you where to go
So make the best of this test and don't ask why
It's not a question but a lesson learned in time

It's something unpredictable
But in the end is right
I hope you had the time of your life

So take the photographs and still frames in your mind
Hang it on a shelf in good health and good time
Tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial
For what it's worth it was worth all the while

It's something unpredictable
But in the end is right
I hope you had the time of your life

It's something unpredictable
But in the end is right
I hope you had the time of your life

It's something unpredictable
But in the end is right
I hope you had the time of your life


- Green Day

Things are always changing. I hate that about life, I really do. I catch myself missing old times more and more latley.
Something from every year of my life starting at kindergarten:

Kindergarten: I filcked everyone in the kindergarten screeing place off... *whoops*... I asked Danya to be my friend...*that was a mistake*... Sally and I ate paper... I dont know why we did that...

1st grade: I thought Arielle was going to be a mermaid... *yeah, umm...* Mr. Escabado died, that was sad, he was a cool dude. I went to that french girl's birthday and was completly ignored...*i dont know why i remember that*

2nd grade: the french girl moved to france. Rose was finally in my class... so was thea...*shudder* I couldnt write to save my life...

3rd grade: Trish threw a chair at Kyle... everyone was like, teachers shouldnt throw chairs... our class sneaked into Peter's room and hung out in the little pillow area... We had that weird student teacher who gave us 'bird watching cards', we went to watch birds, but didnt find any... Jamila had really good handwriting, Scott had really bad handwriting. Nikki forgot about picture day...

4th grade: Acrostic poems, stars, our 1st MCAS, Mary, Mr. G, Mario and that Korean kid, Ali harassing Neil, Bridget got to stand on Mr. H's desk... Spelling groups with motercycle stickers!

5th grade: the green book play. APPLE!!!! rolling around on the floor cracking up during spelling, tennisbaseball, scrabble, color groups, spilling milk EVERYday *thank you for that, simone and bridget...*

6th grade: Rose on the 1st day, Ona on the 1st day, THE SUICIDE TOWER!!!!! katie patrick... *DIE* monchito eating everything in site... that awesome day in the river, the dance... the 5th harry potter after the dance *wow we were losers* the poor lady in the bookstore... rose and me leaving class to 'help' in mrs shea's class *coughsitting in the back of the classroom making 1st grade art projects cough cough* monchito called michael monster, that egypt thingy that we never actually did....the 6th grade play, stomp, friends... razamajazz... the family fair, ...softball season, coach steve... Mr. K's megaphone... yearbooks... channara the mexican...

It was a good seven years! never forget fort river!

7th grade: FCS, i dislike you to the point where I'd like a tank to run over your head...dorky aloe, "you guys cant be dorky", ok, dreamy aloe... NFJs... Health... thanks for the info, mrs hall.... benji and me 'waiting' for rose... Mike and Tim's painfully bad shortbread... being depressed...the 1st social... being more depressed... acting completly not depressed... that really random fire drill where we couldnt find Mr. McS... the Egypt posters... the 'bread' *cough playdoh cough* ...Chinese class, Diana's crayon and Glynis's chalk *well there goes mr. hanson's pencil sharpener* we get a new pencil sharpener, Diana's crayon *again* and Glynis's chalk *again* Emily sharpening pencils... Art, Trey likes *cross that out* has boobies...bowties... sushi ties... hair dye... "why do you dye ur hair?" "why do u wear socks?!" "I wear socks to keep my shoes from smelling, does hair dye keep your shoes from smelling?... Mrs Sullivan Flynn: "my day is happy now, Jalisa just said my outfit is 'dope'...

more to come as life moves on...

every time
Everytime I let myself let go, and believe it's really over, it comes back, stronger than before. Nothing ever really heals, nothing ever goes away.
In a couple of days, its the sadest day of the year. Valentine's Day. Damn Cupid is just out to get me. I'll be spending this year alone again, like usual. Broken Black Hearts Burn.

blah
life seriously sucks. Why do things have to change? Remember the day we all jumped in the Fort River? I'm sure we all remember it. That was the best time of my life. I remember afterwards, when we were all dripping, we had to dry off on the soccer field. Remember how i dropped the cake? Rose and I walked home because there was no way we were going to be aloud on the bus. We found out that George Harrison died that day, though, wich wasnt so cool. I was happy that day. But things change. I'd do anything to go back to the way things used to be. But life moves on. Damn, this sucks. I want to be happy again. I just don't know what it takes.

blah
Life After Lisa

I'm waking up and bakin'
Watching the parade cause today's the day I got over you
Taking out the trash and the pictures that I stashed
Of the two of us in 1992
You stole my heart when Eddie Veder was king
I gave you a foot massage I gave you my ring
You left me for a drummer cause you said I couldn't sing
But, That's ok
Cause there'll be
No more mountain climbing in the rain
No more Long hair clogging up the drain
No more Life will never be the same
Life after Lisa is not so bad at all
Saw you with the dude who gave us our first tattoos
Did he cover up my name that was fast
Can you believe that I'm alive, still not working 9 to 5
And my little band is kicking some ass
So when you asked me if I hated you now
It's not you it's just all of the times I missed out
On sleeping with your roommate every time you passed out
But, That's ok
I'll bet you're saying to yourself that you'll find somebody else like me
But all I've gotta say is there ain't no fucking way that you're getting me to say
I'm sorry... No today!!!
Cleaning up the house again
Listening to House Of Pain
Having headaches in my brain
Listening to you complain
Shopping at the mall again
I'm out of rhymes I've gotta say
Life after Lisa is not so bad at all!!!!

-Bowling for Soup

Quarter two is finally over. Yay, i guess. Too bad we're not switching classes though, I'd like to be in some classes with Nia and some other people. Atleast health is over....... But yeah. Good news is over. Wow, there wasnt alot of it. But yeah.
So far the only things in life dont suck are as follows: Music, Trey (lol trey)...
Oh yeah, *the better* Emily: I'm Soooo Sorry!

~*Henri*~