The Lovely World of Mine

The Lovely World of Mine

:: 2005 25 April :: 11.29pm
:: Mood: blah

welll it seems as if you almost get everything done and around and then something has to go wrong. and of course its my stupid computer. we lost power the other day and ever since that my computer has been acting really stupid. i cant sign onlin with aim more than a minute without it kicking me off but i can stay connected through the web it just really not making any sense to me anymore.

Josh started a different line today so he should be home around 1130 instead of 230 so that a plus i guess you could say since well its 1130 now... lol oh well but who knows anymore things are still good just tryin to get all my finals done so i can start my summer YAY!!! yeah its kinda scary that my summer is asbout to start in a week or soo and we had snow this last weekend what is up with that...... i know we live in michigan anything is possible...

well this really isnt helping me get my hw done so i better try to do soemthing before josh gets home.. chances are its not goin to work but oh well life will go on.......

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love4skate

:: 2005 25 April :: 8.30am
:: Mood: sick
:: Music: ruthless.

but if i built you a city... would you let me? would you tear it down ?
you're waving goodbye, well atleast youre having fun

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love4skate

:: 2005 22 April :: 8.37am
:: Mood: bouncy
:: Music: taking back sunday.

i get to leave work at 7 today :) im oh so happy :))) . i hooked up my best friend with a guy i like . but it dosent matter cuhz he dosent like me and she deserves a guy like him . :) im so fucking happy for her . :) i love her to death and i would much rather see her happy than myself . i want to go see bryce this summer . we'd have the best time . or he could come down here . i dont care . i wish guys like him lived down here . all guys want here is sex . not counting aj (anysias *my bestfriend* el boyfriendo. :) ) anyways ; im going to work till 7 :) then gunna see my el best friendo :) cant wait . well... later

YOU WHITE

im out and on the parkway , patient and waiting for headlights , dressed in a fashion thats fitting to the inconsistencys of my moods.

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love4skate

:: 2005 21 April :: 8.13am
:: Mood: sad
:: Music: something corporate.

last night i was going to go to this wrestling thing with brittany . but i called her and she didnt answer but her phones being retarded so it wasnt her fault . anyways; i called leighanne so she came over and we were about to leave and we're like we dont wanna go cuhz we need to catch up . we havent seen/talked to eachother since my birthday *feb. 15* she used to be my very best friend . and ever since high school ; we totally lost touch . so we caught up . and we talked about alot of stuff . but before she came over my mom called crying . our convo .
me-hello? whats wrong ?
mom-do you remember alissa ?
me- yes how could i forget her?
mom- well she broke up with chewy *a really good friend of mine* so she could move somewhere else to start a new life.
me- Ok ?
mom- well a few nights ago she was murdered .
me- what ?!
mom- her and her friend were walking at 1:00 a.m. when 2 guys came up to alissa and tried to take her purse . *she was holding her and her friends purse* she resisted and the guy shot her in the head . she was on life support for a short time . and her family pulled the plug . and she died the same day .
me- ok bye .
mom - bye
i didnt cry for some reason . my eyes just got watery . it was weird . but yeah . nothing else to say for now .

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spacietraci

:: 2005 20 April :: 10.48pm
:: Mood: annoyed

omg!!! have you ever had one of those days that you get out of work and all you want to do is get home!!! yeah that was today, i really cant stand how some people drive around here, well anyways, there was this car infront of me on capital from virgina yeah lucky then but they were only goign like 30 mph if that, and well you know me and my truck we cant do that, its just impossible, so i wasnt that close to him but he keep tryin to do rbreak checks and what not but it didnt work and of course i didnt do anything about it i just kept going hoping he would get the clue that the speed limit was 35 to 40, so then finially when the road went to two lanes he tried going down teh middle and of course i passed him and then we wanted to try to ride my asss but it didnt work to well for him, sorry buidddy!!!! why do some people have to be soooooo stupid!!!!!!! drive the speed limit if not more we would have no problem.

well kane and i went out to lunch the other day and she got to see the apartment i was excited since i hadnt had anyone over to see it yet, since everyone just comes for josh, we had a good lunch got to talk about alot of just old th ings old times people you know how we are when we talk... im really going to miss her though!!!!1

well im goin to look online for some things for this apartment so hit me up

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love4skate

:: 2005 20 April :: 8.31am
:: Mood: blank
:: Music: something corporate. in my head.

im so tired of days that feel like they're night.
okay.. 2 days ago i got on the bus to go home and i went to my seat and i saw legs under the seat so i pulled on them and there was a doll .. then i found another one :) they were pretty damn ugly though lol . so i took one and put the body out and closed the legs in the window and did the same for the other doll on the other window . we got half way down the road and "chico" *the bus driver* goes "ehh ehh boy you take that down ." stupid bish . so i opened the window and let it fall out while we were going 438573495735 miles per hour :) then my friend kyle did the same for the other doll . it was funny. yesterday .. came to school ; nothing happened that i can remember . hector came home with me cuhz he got locked out of andrews and no one was home . went to my house . played slinter cell . which is an awesome game . kinda confusing . but it was cool . rents got home listened to "blue collar rides again" . GIT -R- DONE ! . haha i love larry the cable guy . hes bad ass . :) got ready for work ; went to work ; it was super busy for some odd reason . so i had stuff to do allllll night . :( normally thats my lazy work day ... but no people wanted food . god damnit . lol . talked with ben until we got slammed . you can tell when he has a lot of food to cook when he cusses at himself . its soo funny . lol . hes a cool kid though so .. yeah . listened to some hawthorne heights;something corporate;and some gangster lil` jon cuhh . on the ride home from work with ben dover . haha . love it . some car broke down and we had to keep stopping and going ; so ben kept swurving around.. im like what are you doing and hes like having fun .. and im just like okaaayy ? lol . so we got outta there just made a U--turn . and took us 3456907567 extra minutes to get home . but i didnt care cuhz i hate being home;and i wanted to listen to loud music . and ben makes me laugh lol . :) got home . me and ben went inside ; i changed into my PJ's ; watched like 45 minutes of meet the fockers ben left . i went to sleep . had a hard time waking up this morning . remembered ITS 420 !! hahaha . alison didnt come to school cuhz she wanted to be like the rest of the "cool" kids . even though she dosent smoke lol . wootevaaa . i wasnt gunna go to school but i need to pull my grades up .. :( tonight is this wrestling thing with teachers . its gunna be awesome . me and brittany are probably going . FAT FAASSE !! yaya . haha . well 1st period- did my work . im done Activity period- went to brittanys portable with ashley . went over by adam and rubbed his back for a bit cuhz he didnt feel good . brittany came and sat by me for a while then i went and sat by her and ashley . cuhz ashley was looking lonely . :( sat there and talked for a bit . then the bell rang and now we're in 2nd period- updating and being quiet . whoa i know me being quiet ?! hey it happens . :) brittanys a cheater . hah j/k i love that girl soo much . anyways ... this is wicked long .

later
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love4skate

:: 2005 19 April :: 8.18am
:: Mood: okay
:: Music: hawthorne heights.

spare me just 3 last words..
nothings been really happening lately. didnt do ANYTHING over the weekend. friday got in this huge fight with my dad in the car on the way home from work at 11:30 at night ! walk in the house screming at him and go in my room. mom comes in and says "you have a friend on the couch" and i was like "nu uh" and i was like "who?" and shes like "its hector" my dad came in my room screaming at me while hector was out on the couch. and i forgot he was there and started screaming back at my dad. 2 more hours down the drain. still screaming with my dad. tears were streaming down my face. i couldnt hold them in any longer and just exploded and started screaming so fucking loud. all my opinions about him. everything i hate about him. how he drinks too much. and how he has an anger problem and how he judges my friends way too fast. and talks shit about them. and how he judges what i wear. and makes fun of me for it. god i was so fucking pissed. i was cussing;screaming; i was about to lose it. so i went in my room layed on my bed and just cried. then i called my mom in to come lay with me. and i hugged her and said i was sorry. and shes started crying saying she was sorry. blah blah. then all of a sudden i felt like i was gunna puke. so i told her then shes like you can come sleep with me. and as i was crying.. i kept saying "no no im fine im fine ; i swear" until finally i just gave up and slept with her. oh i forgot to tell you about what happened with hector. well ; i went out by the couch and he wasnt there. i heard the door shut so i opened the door to say i was sorry that he had to listen to that. but he got in the car and drove away before i could say anything. i felt like shit. then i went to sleep with my moma dukes. i woke up with swollen eyes and crust around them. yumm ; eh` ? hahah . anyways . im getting my permit prolly tomorrow or thursday. cant wait. me and the rents have been ok so far this week. i work ALL weekend. my dad said i can bring a friend.. duh im bringing anysia lol. this is long. so im going to go .

later

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love4skate

:: 2005 18 April :: 8.47am
:: Mood: cold
:: Music: from first to last. singing in my head.

i wanted to be that breath of fresh air, when everything smelled so insincere.

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cmnt bishes.

later

around the block

spacietraci

:: 2005 17 April :: 10.25pm

just another day
well its kinda been awhile, but things really havent changed, i was supposed to see ron today but he never called me and i was busy anyways with my mom's birthday!!!! Happy Birthday MOM~

i started thinking the other day yes i know thats kinda scary but anyways that i havent talk to my future ex husband at all, we go like 3 day siwth talking to one another and then like 6 weeks with out talkin its really weird but im worried about him since its getting nice out and he has his bike, not to good mixtures,

Hey Kane, i guesss were going camping next weekend even though i have to work till 2, Nikki really wants to go so i guess we might be campin in josh's back yard, dont ask.... lol
alright back to working on my speech before josh yells at me... lol

1 comment | around the block

love4skate

:: 2005 15 April :: 8.32am
:: Music: brittany =)

i love sonny moore ! <3
note to self: i miss you terribly . this is what we call a tragedy come back to me ; come back to me ; to me
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love4skate

:: 2005 14 April :: 8.13am
:: Mood: depressed
:: Music: something coporate. in my head.

grah !
got into a fight with my mom yesterday . heard her talking shit about me . she said i was a emo bitch that isnt going to do anything with my life . and then she came into my room . and i was like IM EMO AND IM NOT GOING TO DO ANYTHING IN MY LIFE ! dude... most of the time im in a good mood... thats until i get home . then im a "emo bitch" so my mom would say . she dosent even know what emo means . she acts like she knows everything... at home im either on the computer ; in my room sitting on the floor blarring rock/emo music ; or out doing something . and if someone pisses me off at my house i go in my room and listen to music . it releaves me . why cant she understand that ? if there was no such thing as the music i listen to id be in a mental institution taking paper clips out of the floor trying to cut myself so i wouldnt have to go threw such things this world has to offer . i dont really use this journal for anyone to comment . its my own personal journal . and if you wanna read it ... be my guest . later guys .

ashes just fall to the ground yeah we're only ashes

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spacietraci

:: 2005 13 April :: 9.51pm
:: Mood: excited

im soo excited courtney my bestiest frined from work had her baby girl today :) 6lbs 12oz a baby girl, named madeline jane, im soo happy for you court i cant wait to see her. congratulations to you, madeline, and of course matthew:) i love all of you guys, i was just surprised that i was one of the first people to know and actually get to talk to courtney that made me feel special.

Josh and i got are grill but i am unsure about if we are allowed to have it on the third floor oh well i guesss, what can they do????? so hopefully we will start cooking or something who knwos about that one

well i have to go to the high school tomrorow to get some more hours in for my final since thats do in like 2 or 3 weeks im not sure but its getting there especially since we only have lik what 4 weeks left if that. i still have to do my speech on my artfacits i shold be able to do that on monday i hope soo because if she doesnt allow it i wont pass the classsss. sooooo i am reallly hoping sooo.

well im just going to chill for or well relax alittle bit before josh gets him so i will talk to you alll later..
loves

around the block

spacietraci

:: 2005 12 April :: 2.10pm
:: Mood: irritated

wellll what a night last night was, sitting at home when the phone rings and its FRANK wondering if i wanted to so something, so i figured why not, for some reason i can never say no, so he came and got me and we went back to his house on Gull Lake yeah his mom is living on Gull lake now very interesting but i am glad for her :) so we kinda just chillied and talked about things like things from 5 years ago, his mom just happend to be going thought things and got out like all the pictures of him and i and think that we had done and what not.. the old memories. we watched spider man 2, it was alright the first one was soo much better though.. and then he brought me back since i had to be home before 2, yeah i know it was a curfew i was given and yes i did make it home by 2. and i behaved...

So today hasnt been the greatest day cause well josh is pissed i went out with and ex, and he tries not to be but you can tell just by how he act and even looks. sometimes it seems like he doesnt want me to do anything with out him... almost like he doesnt trust me... and if i say something its welll look how we hooked up...who knows but you have to give me credit that i told him before i left and what not... but i know it ju st made him worry at work and what not... what kkind of girlfriend am i????/ alright i just thought i would post something so kane could read since i didnt two way her back th is morning to tell her my story.. sorry girl but i have to get this speech thing done

1 comment | around the block

spacietraci

:: 2005 11 April :: 3.11pm

i gave up on my speech for communication it just wanst workign and i was just getting all stressed out so i figured i would just do it late and get marked down rather than just basically failing the speech, i feel alittle bit better about it but not really im supposed to be working on it but of course im searching the internet for a clock to hang up in the apartment i found one but the only problem is it takes 4 to 6 weeks, soo that really sucks so im not sure if we will get it or just go searching for one in grand rapids but this clocks i found are reallly cool...
they are at agrressivebynature.com they have alot of cool things in there

im about to head over to my house see whats going on over there. i should go to the bank and wallmart but i really dont feel like it so i probably wont... oh well , well im off to my house so if u need me thats where i will be..

love ya

kane i am soo glad you had a good weekend, but i miss ya and glad ya home

1 comment | around the block

love4skate

:: 2005 11 April :: 8.33am
:: Mood: depressed
:: Music: bloodhound gang .

=\
i dont know if i should break up with josh ; i dont want to hurt him . i wrote him a note saying if anything happenes with us i still love him . i dont know what to do . i dont want a relationship right now . its too much for me =\ gaaaaa .

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