The Lovely World of Mine

:: 2005 8 April :: 8.36am
:: Mood: chipper
:: Music: brittanys beautiful voice =)

im the happiest ive ever been .
i broke up with robbie . =\ and i am currently going out with Josh =) hes perfect for me . Hes like an inch shorter than me but i dont care . i'll take pictures today at lunch then i'll post them on my LJ and on here on monday . later

i freaking love you alison and brittany ; you complete me minnie mee =) hah

i'll be your best kept secret and your biggest mistake

:: 2005 6 April :: 7.22am
:: Mood: chipper
:: Music: ruthless.

i finally know now what i shouldve known then ; and i can still be ruthless if youd let me .
Well ; my last entry wasn't exactly true . I found everything out afterschool when I went over Robbies house . Everyone's just talking shit about him becuhz thats the way he "used" to be . I supposedly changed him ; says Hector . If it wasn't for Hector me and Robbie probably wouldn't be going out right now . But anyways ; he used to be all for sex and now all of a sudden he wants a relationship with me . I'm going to believe it for now . But in the next week or so ; if he says he wants to have sex and shit . hahahaha . I'm breaking up with him . I made it totally clear for him and his stoner head to understand im not like that lol . I'm so nice I know . =) But ; everythings okay with us . Thank god ; cuhz the last thing I need is DRAMA . I'm allergic . Last night I went to work . And ; had some pretty weird conversations with Ben ; my dads friend I work with . Hes 20 . Hes like my brother . =) He's a cool kid . Well ; this a wee bit long . thanks to all you that care . i love you .

ps. i love britt (=

later

6 comments | around the block

:: 2005 4 April :: 7.37am
:: Mood: depressed
:: Music: taking back sunday.

its times like these when silence means everything and no one is to know about it.
spring break was sweet . im going out with robbie now . i think im gunna break up with him . . all he wants is sex and reefer . and thats not what i want . he lied to me . . he said he wanted a relation ship . did he think all the people at my bus stop wouldnt tell me all the things he says ? hah . they tell me every fucking thing . he lives by me . yeah so im going to find out one way or another . i found out this morning he made up something that i said . he told his brother andrew that he asked me if we could have sex with me . and i supposedly said "yeah in a couple weeks" ?! wtf ?! im totally not having sex with him . he was probably stoned ; as usual god . i freaking want an emo guy . godddddd . i can never find Mr. Right . i think hes dead . we'll never find eachother . EVER !!!!!! heres a picture. hope you guys like it . comment and tell me what i should do . thanks

later

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robbie .

:: 2005 31 March :: 2.57pm

Spring Break has started!!!! im excited but then again i am not because it just means i have to work all week long since everyone else is going on vacation. just means lots of money for Traci which is good because josh and i go to sign for the apartment on monday! so hopefully by next weekend we will have almost everything moved in . we figured it out to be the cost is about 18 dollars a day, thats kinda alot, but oh well its a step that needs to be taken thoguh so t hats what were doing.

This week i close at work everynight lucky me, especially on friday because i get out of work at like 2:30, and then were meeting everyone up at mcd's at 6:45am to head up to silver lake for opening day so everyone cross there fingers for good weather. It should be really fun especially since lauren is going with. even though she only knows a couple of us, i give her propes though for coming with :) it will be fun other then the part of getting up soo damn early

i am really starting to hate this weather change i dont think i have stopped sneezing at alll, its really starting to bug me, i know i probably could take something for it but i just havent. so i know its my fault , well im going to lay down for awhile before i have to go to work....

:: 2005 30 March :: 3.28pm
:: Mood: chipper
:: Music: taking back sunday.

of all the things we've been through
all the nasty words we said
and the making up
and the fights
and the hatred in our voices..
all comes down to what we have
and what we have is far more important than any other friendship
you know exactly what im about to say before i say it
i know you love me and i know you know i love you
but why of all people did you pick me?
me of all people?
me to tell your secrets to
me to listen to cry on the phone when your boy friend breaks up with you
even though i've made you cry and made you want die inside...
remember these words that i mean oh so truley
you are my best friend..
and you will forever be that.

i love you alison.

8 comments | around the block

:: 2005 29 March :: 1.17am
:: Mood: sleepy

well kane i you did just put everything out that you were thinking, and sometimes its really good to do that, because in the end it might make the other realize what they did say and how wrong it was. Even though you might not ever forget the night or the conversation, but you are lucky to have a mom like you do. For as troubled as i was, she still let you come over and hang out, even though she knew something was up with my house but she just loves and cares for ya. not saying that some parents dont, they all do in some way, but some just show it more than others. Hey just think my mom is sitting next to me in one of my college classes, so what does that say about me????

well i guess josh figured this weekend out, i guess were going up to silver lake to go out on the dunes for opening day i beleive were going to leave at like 6 or 7 am because i have to be back at work at 5, but i am going to see if joyce will let me come in at like 6pm, soo kane, nikki, if either of you two want to go just let me KNOW!!!!!

3 comments | around the block

:: 2005 25 March :: 9.19am
:: Mood: tired

its friday , good friday at that, and i think i am the only person that does not look forward towards the weekend, but i guess thats because i work 15 hours on friday and then 10 hours on saturday, yeah so i have no weekend and its going to be like that for the next 2 months i believe, how ever long courtney is on baby leave, im going to miss her!

saw derek's baby the other day at wallmart, she is very cute, and getting big, she was wtih her mom, so of course i got the looks and everything, it was almost 5 years ago but i guess it still seems like yesterday for her. i dont know how many times that i can say that i am sorry, but i guess it wont ever help, so it seems like everytime that i forget about it, i run into one of them...

well i gotta get ready for work and all that fun stuff so i will talk to everyone probably on sunday, i might post tomrorow morning but i am not sure,..

around the block

:: 2005 24 March :: 7.49am
:: Mood: depressed
:: Music: taking back sunday

its the day before spring break and i feel like shit
all i do is cry and wish things will be alright
but instead
all they do is get worse
can you picture me crying every night being depressed
sitting in my room all alone
wishing someone could hold me?
didnt think so
well this is to all those people who think my life is perfect
because let me fucking tell you something
YOUR WRONG !
i dont wish my life was perfect
i just wish things could get a little better you know?
so all im saying now is all you people that keep your crying and your feelings inside...
it only makes things
oh does it make things worse
please listen to me before........
before its too late
^i made that^

this is a taking back sunday lyric i like *down*

(well which would you prefer my finger on the trigger, or me face down, down across your floor well just so long as this thing�s loaded)

later on

around the block

:: 2005 23 March :: 2.43pm
:: Mood: mischievous

its really sad that all one person has to do is tell the world how they feel about a person to make it a comedy for other. Kane had a run into at school, not a good one, b ut i dont know it made the story really good on are walk to class, its good to be able to laugh at someones stupid mistakes, but for that one person her stupid mistake was being born.

oh kane do u even know who that guy was that was asking you about class.. he was kinda cute!!!!! maybe you need to talk to him more....

but im off to my grandmas just wanted to post somethign real quick to make kane feel alittle bit better.. i love ya girl : )

1 comment | around the block

:: 2005 23 March :: 7.48am
:: Music: counrty crap. wishing i was listening to rock.

i feel like shit. cryings the only thing i can relate to.
oceans to drown in; you won't make a sound in

holding tight and try not to hide how I feel cuhz feelings mean nothing now

guess which group and song these are.

later on

around the block

:: 2005 22 March :: 7.38am
:: Mood: chipper
:: Music: country shit in my class.

some kid sitting next to me... is ANNOYING as fuck... i thnk i made him cry lol.

i talked to chris yesterday on the phone =) then i caled jon and talked to him. i really like him oh my god. even though all that shit about him having sex with 50 girls. its true i know. but; i dont know. my dads hates him. =\ its gunna be so hard to hang out with him. =\ but i'll find a way. And chris.. oh chris. Hes fucking awesome. =) if you read this I LOVE YOU ! anyone know how to post pictures in this beast ?
go to my other journal
www.livejournal.com/users/selfish_cry_out
if you have live journal. cmnt. and i'll add you.
if your a preppy little bitch...dont bother commenting.

Later on

Don�t hold your breath because you�ll only make things worse

:: 2005 21 March :: 4.46pm
:: Music: My new Band-- White Picket Fence.

We rock hard.
you only wanted me for the simple reason
oh that one simple reason
that i had my pajama pants on
and i fell for it too
i look just as bad as you
standing in the doorway of my room

you never cease to amaze me
all these things you say
i fall
i fall for it every fucking time
and i blame myself
for letting you use me
and do the things you do
and me being so gad damn gullable

im done.

4 comments | around the block

:: 2005 21 March :: 3.54pm
:: Mood: awake

well i finially talked to brandin he called me friday when i was at work, and then i decided to call him back and he put me on hold, yes he put me on hold so i hung up, so he called back and asked me why i hung up and i told me he was like yea i guess you have a point and anyways i didnt have long distance on my phone soo it was understandable, he is doing really well, he finally got his house, no apartment but a house so thats a plus, he tried getting me to drive down there that night but i told him that i couldnt, then of coursen i called him on saturday, because well i was drunk and wanted to talk to him.. sorry hun for callin you at 3am, i know you had to get up early.. sorry

but this weeeknd was alot of fun, some drama but not alot so it was straight, a group of us went to watch trevor fight in kzoo for fight night , he won, he was very happy, and then the bunch of us came back to my house, since my parents went to canada so yeah i had my fair drinks thats for sure, but its all good, nothing is wrong with that, well except for the fact of getting up sunday and not feelign well, so of course i went and saw courtney to keep her company. but i was excitied cause i got to hang out with Lauren and tiffany came over, i was really excitied to see her and what not, but she only stayed for like 5 minites that was sad but she had to get up at 8am to go to work, but i miss her thats for sure, lauren and i had fun though it seemed like all we did was laugh and talked and laugh it was good to hang out with another girl instead of all guys..

and now its back to another fun week of school and work, but i have to make money so its all good, but i am going to work on some homework so i am out for now,

1 comment | around the block