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2004 27 January :: 7.08 pm
:: Music: "Straw Dog" +Something Corporate+
Now don't tell me you love the whole idea of me not updating ever.
Staring into the intersection, she thinks that she can fly and she might. Holding on in a new direction, she's gonna try it tonight. The closer I get to feeling, the further that I'm feeling from alright. The more I step into the sun, the more I step out of the light.
Jessica is covered in a blanket on a Sunday porch, thinking of the weekends she would party in the city. She doesn't have a flame..she'd prefer to burn out like a torch. If she gets nowhere in life, at least she knows she's pretty.
She said, "Hey now, the straw dog's out in the street. Hey now, there's chemicals in the clouds. Hey now, they're calling the police. They won't get to us, anyhow."
The moon is shining now and shadows are what's left of all the noise. Simple silhouettes and cutouts..as if we had the choice. He listens closely now, swears that he can hear a voice that's calling him and saying, "Hey now, the straw dog's out in the street. Hey now, there's chemicals in the clouds. Hey now, they're calling the police. They won't get to us, anyhow."
What does it take to be a superhero in our world? Make no mistake that these villains always get the girl. We can escape, and then we'd skate away from all of this..and no one ever does..
She's saying, "Hey now, the straw dog's out in the street. Hey now, there's chemicals in the clouds. Hey now, they're calling the police. They won't get to us, anyhow."
2 may be paranoid |
not an android |
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2004 25 January :: 3.53 pm
:: Mood: furious
:: Music: NONE because it's GONE
Okay what the heck, ALL OF MY MUSIC FILES ARE GONE. GONE! I had eight freaking gigs of songs, and THEY ARE GONE.
I HATE MY LIFE.
3 may be paranoid |
not an android |
::
2004 21 January :: 6.18 pm
"We cannot appeal to the conscience of the world when our own conscience is asleep."
-Carl von Ossietzky
not an android |
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2004 21 January :: 5.50 pm
:: Mood: apathetic
Maybe it's just me, but sometimes it's impossible to breathe.
I know everyone is loving how I'm not updating at all. Truth is, I've been way tired and also way not happy with myself or anything, really. So I haven't felt like doing anything. It's kind of a miracle that I've been getting all (well okay, most) of my homework done. I can't blame this bad mood or whatever (kind of hard to call it a mood because it won't change) on anything in particular either. Yes, school is terrible and so is getting up at six; yes, soccer is not going well right now because I'm horribly out of shape and I played possibly the worst game of my life yesterday; yes, I just suck in general. It's not any one of those things though. I guess it's a combination of everything..I can't handle it anymore. It's gotten really overwhelming lately, and that's never good. Sounds cliche, but I wish I could just give up.
not an android |
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2004 20 January :: 8.28 pm
:: Mood: numb
I want to, I want to be someone else or I'll explode. Floating upon this surface for the birds. You want me? Fucking well, come and find me. I'll be waiting with a gun and a pack of sandwiches and nothing..nothing. You want me? Well, come and break the door down. You want me? Fucking come and break the door down. I'm ready.
1 may be paranoid |
not an android |
::
2004 12 January :: 8.04 pm
:: Mood: rushed
:: Music: "Subterranean Homesick Alien" +Radiohead+
And now..I present to you:
THE LONGEST SURVEY IN THE WORLD!
Read more..
6 may be paranoid |
not an android |
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2004 11 January :: 8.26 pm
:: Mood: annoyed
:: Music: +ADULT.+
Oh goodness, a subject line!
And the award for Easily the Person Dreading School the Most goes to me. Obviously. I have to BE AT SCHOOL at freaking seven. Seven! This is insane. Um, Nancy, why did you sign yourself up for SEVEN CLASSES?! BECAUSE IT WOULD MAKE THE NUMBERS MATCH? OR ARE YOU JUST CRAZY? Jesus.
I got to drive around everywhere today, and I only screwed up once. I'm getting better, I swear. I was making a right turn at that huge intersection by K-Mart, and my mom said, "YOU CAN'T GO IN THE OTHER LANE YOU ARE GOING TO HIT THE CARS MOVE OVER!!!!!" And of course, I was already over enough and I ran up on the median. You know, the thing with CARS on the other side. Yeah okay mom. Thanks.
Jeanette came over yesterday and we went and saw Big Fish, which is as good as everyone has been saying. I had to pee incredibly bad though. As usual. At least it wasn't too long. After the movie, we set up my aunt's old telescope and looked at the moon. It was neat, and I am not being sarcastic. I want to go to the moon. Or at least Mars. Oh yeah, Bush is finally doing ONE thing right..he's going to start missions to the moon again! This'll get us prepared for Mars, and our goal is to have humans land there by 2020. That almost makes me want to have Bush reelected..but then I think of all the crap he's done. Too bad with this whole Saddam thing, his chances are looking pretty good..gah. I hate Bush. He's a coke-using moron.
not an android |
::
2004 3 January :: 9.11 pm
:: Mood: angry
I'm in one of my hated moods again. This time it's the one where I snap at everyone, and every little thing pisses me off for no reason. Everything my parents say just irks me until I can't take it (take what? they aren't doing anything..) anymore, and I yell at them. Of course, I feel bad about it later (my god, did I just say that?), but like someone said, "Even a soft tongue can be sharp." Or you know, something like that. I don't know what it is that makes me like this. Chances are, no matter who you are, if you happened to even say hello to me I'd yell at you. For no reason. Jesus.
I'm also kind of angry because I clipped my ankle on the scaffold earlier today, and now it really hurts. When I bend it a certain way or put weight on it in the wrong place, it's rather painful. Curses. What scaffold, you say? Well, we're painting our house right now (okay, painting one wall) and it's over the stairs where it's hard to put a ladder. To solve that problem, my dad built a scaffold sort of thing.
I am sorry, that was boring. Oh well, better than a five year long entry about what I did today, because I know EVERYONE cares about what I had for lunch (turkey and mashed potatoes) and how many times I went to the bathroom (like a billion). So interesting!
9 may be paranoid |
not an android |
::
2004 3 January :: 1.16 pm
:: Music: "We Live NE of Compton" +The Liars+
Mah sistah is selling some of her old stuff on eBay, so GO BID ON IT!
Also, just a nice reminder to everyone..I have stuff too.
Hope everyone's New Year was good..mine sucked, but what's new. My mom got pulled over today for changing lanes too many times. It was so funny, because she kept denying it.
"Ma'am, I've been following you since back by Granary Square, and you must have changed lanes about six times."
"What! No I didn't, I only changed maybe twice."
"No ma'am, it was more like six."
"Mother, it was four or five or something. Seriously."
"Oh, I'm sorry officer! I never drive like this normally, do I Nancy?"
"No, not usually."
"Okay ma'am, just don't do it again. Have a nice day."
Afterwards, she said, "Okay, I'm not going to change lanes anymore! Hehe!" Yes mother, whatever you say.
1 may be paranoid |
not an android |
::
2004 2 January :: 12.55 am
This is looking like it's going to be another sleepless night..wonderful. That's just what I need. For some reason, I sat down and started writing letters..don't know who they're to, or if they'll even be sent at all, ever..but yes. I'm taking a break right now because I wrote a page in my microscopic handwriting without stopping once, so my hand hurts just a bit. As in, it's going to cramp up and fall off if I don't stop. But god, the only thing that ever makes me do crazy things like write letters to no one is if I'm insanely lonely or depressed..and that's always fun! Except not. Okay, so, stopping before I make myself sound even more stupid.
not an android |
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